How to break up

[HowieMeeker]

The woman I want to break up with has always been honest, kind hearted, gentle, generous, loving, giving. She is good looking too (which makes it harder for me to break up). I think of her as an angel who can do no wrong, and so do all my family and friends.

I understand completely, all the same things that drove me away from all those women I have dumped

Seriously GBM, you need to ask yourself a few simple questions starting with "am I an adult yet or not?". If you are an adult, why the hell would you throw away such a situation? If you are not (and I KNOW about this as I am not on a few levels and have made bad decisions like you are about to), then get some help.

I am almost never serious on these boards...but this strikes a chord. Don't fuck up a potential great lifetime for a potential great few months. If you need to keep prowling, then do so as discreetly as possible. However, you seem to have what many want (and many, I speak from experience, have had several times and were too dumb to realize) and will never have.

Think of your life in five, ten and twenty years from now.....will your decision still make sense?

I am a self-admitted selfish SOB with too much time, money and IQ on my hands. I am also just into my 30s and realizing that it is time to grow up. Suggest you consider the same.

 

[muffdiver]

It sounds like you are living in the 60's or 70's, where do you find a woman that cooks ,cleans , does laundry and gives you a kiss in the morning and when you come home, you are very fortunate to have such a woman. She worships the ground you walk on GBM , do you really want to loose someone that loves you that much?

You have to ask yourself how the last 3 years have been, if they have been mostly wonderful and you look forward to seeing her when you get home, then you should hold onto someone like that.

Whatever you do don't tell her you are seeing someone else, that would crush her like a bug.

 

[stryker]

For fuck sake,,,we should tie SingleMalts thread with this one and then make a movie

 

[Sunset]

You will in your own time and way, walk the path of the beloved. The light will draw you out. The reason any of us connect with another in the first place, is because we have something to learn from them. Lovers mirror each other in this very unique way. Perhaps it is time for you to move on, and perhaps it is time for you to commit ... only you know. What I can tell you, is to listen to your heart ... and the mind will follow.

To respond to the your words in the quote above, the color of my skin has nothing to do with anything. What is important is how the thought of her being with another man makes you feel. You say it makes you feel sick. I think you should ask yourself why. There are many truths my friend ... own yours.

PS ... can you pm me your SO's number? She sounds lovely and perfect for me. I know I would appreciate her and love her unconditionally.

Bruddha

Interesting come back. But, me thinks George is just pulling everyone's leg and having a little fun.

On the other hand, I'd love to see you and his SO hook for some loving and laugh my ass off at George puking.

Funny thread, I've laughted my ass off reading each post. Keep'em coming George.

 

[FuZzYknUckLeS]

...where do you find a woman that cooks ,cleans , does laundry and gives you a kiss in the morning and when you come home, you are very fortunate to have such a woman. She worships the ground you walk on....

You find her in asia.

 

[BYSON]

I did the two chick thing I did dump one but I always think did i dump the right one what if? So I now 2 time and think nothing of it I don't get attached. I see who I want and which sp i want. tell them you're a mormand and you need two wives maybe the two will become lovers and you get 3some every night. would that be the prefect world and they do all the cooking and cleaning too.

 

[HowieMeeker]

For fuck sake,,,we should tie SingleMalts thread with this one and then make a movie

There's a single malt thread? Mmmmmmmmm, Single Malt.

 

[t1163]

Amazing!

I love to harass GBM lately. But now, we actually have something in common! This surprises me! George - I would lose #9 right away. I would ask yourself why are you concerned with conforming to societies view of an acceptable life?

We have to start a new revolution dude. If it is now socially acceptable for gays to marry why not look to the future of socially acceptable sexual behavoir? The TV series "Sex in the City" broke new ground for female promiscuity. It's time George. You lead the way. It's time for a new revolution. The Hetero MAN revolution! Fuck the politically correct! No guilt. No Dancing. Just guys getting their brains fucked out! More sexual partners than Kim Cattrell! And when you find that special one - look for a second!

See what I mean GBM. We are paying for sex here. If you can't laugh at it you don't belong here! Fuck guilt dude - life is short and it's a waste of time!

 

[georgebushmoron]

It sounds like you are living in the 60's or 70's, where do you find a woman that cooks ,cleans , does laundry and gives you a kiss in the morning and when you come home, you are very fortunate to have such a woman. She worships the ground you walk on GBM , do you really want to loose someone that loves you that much?

You have to ask yourself how the last 3 years have been, if they have been mostly wonderful and you look forward to seeing her when you get home, then you should hold onto someone like that.

The last 3 years have been great.... my home has never been cleaner, I'm well fed, I get more BJs than I can handle, she swallows, she likes anal, she keeps it shaved bald, and she's kind of kinky too. But for some reason, I fell out of passion. I don't understand myself. I know I have it really good... I just don't understand why I want to give it up. Usually I pride myself at being somewhat intelligent, but I feel like I want to do something really stupid.

 

[georgebushmoron]

Seriously GBM, you need to ask yourself a few simple questions starting with "am I an adult yet or not?". If you are an adult, why the hell would you throw away such a situation? If you are not (and I KNOW about this as I am not on a few levels and have made bad decisions like you are about to), then get some help.

No, I am not an adult. I am a teenager trapped in an adult's body. Mine is the case of arrested social development. I've tried to grow up, but I can't or don't want to.

I usually don't like it, but if you all call me an idiot or moron in this thread, I know I deserve it for getting into this situation to begin with.

Thanks for all your help. I hate this navel gazing crap but thank you all for indulging me this time.

 

[FuZzYknUckLeS]

The last 3 years have been great.... my home has never been cleaner, I'm well fed, I get more BJs than I can handle, she swallows, she likes anal, she keeps it shaved bald, and she's kind of kinky too. But for some reason, I fell out of passion. I don't understand myself. I know I have it really good... I just don't understand why I want to give it up. Usually I pride myself at being somewhat intelligent, but I feel like I want to do something really stupid.

Do the 2 of you click on an intellectual level? You never mentioned good conversation in the above...If not, that would explain how your feeling. If that is the problem, move on. All of the items you listed above can be handled by an SP and a home cleaning service.

 

[georgebushmoron]

Your 3 year SO sounds like every man's dream. And she left her homeland for you!

Not only do you have her, but you cheat on her with a girlfriend (who doesn't know about the 3 year SO) AND you see SP's, MPA's and what about SW's??? And you are still cruising for more pussy?

You are right, you don't deserve her.

I am being serious, break it off with her, AND the other one. You are absolutely no good to either of them until you get your shit together. Right now you are ruining both their lives.

Step up to the plate and walk away.

A strong statement, but one I respect. The only saving grace is that I don't do SWs.

 

[Herb_The_Perb]

Hook her up with Bruddha. After one taste of black meat, it'll be like you never existed.

Or hook her up with Buddha, so she can find serenity.

 

[georgebushmoron]

Or hook her up with Buddha, so she can find serenity.

Maybe she'll find Destiny, Laetitia, and Shanelle too.

 

[Herb_The_Perb]

I've been with the current SO 3 years. Others I've been with averaged about a year each.
I have it really good right now. She does all my laundry. She cooks, she cleans, she bids me good-bye every morning, she kisses me when I come home every night. She earns her own money. She is really good to my folks. She moved from a different country and gave up contact with her friends and family to be with me. I'm treated like a King, and I truly don't deserve her.

GBM, where are you two living right now -- Seattle or Van?
Where is the more recent woman living?
How did you meet the 3-year SO -- in her country, or was she visiting NA?

And, if it's not being too nosy, how old are you? I take it that you've never been married.

It may be that some psychological therapy would be beneficial here. You're a sharp cookie with exemplary political and social values, but your interpersonal relationships with women seem not to be on the same enlightened plane. I suspect that you are capable of better.

Finally. what happens to the SO? Is she sufficiently grounded in NA to be OK here after you break up, or will she have to go back to wherever?
And are you totally positive that she's the right one to dump? It sounds like she brings more to the table than the newer one. Passion fades, but love grows.

Good luck in all this, buddy -- it won't be easy, but it might be easier than the worst-case scenario.

 

[Herb_The_Perb]

The last 3 years have been great.... my home has never been cleaner, I'm well fed, I get more BJs than I can handle, she swallows, she likes anal, she keeps it shaved bald, and she's kind of kinky too. But for some reason, I fell out of passion. I don't understand myself. I know I have it really good... I just don't understand why I want to give it up. Usually I pride myself at being somewhat intelligent, but I feel like I want to do something really stupid.

Guess what -- everyone falls out of passion after a while. It may eventually ramp up again, or not, and if it does, it will probably diminish again. You can't count on passion in the long run. It's not the best foundation for a relationship.

It sounds to me as though you're planning to throw away a million dollars so that you can pursue two million yen. Not a good plan.

You actually understand that what you're considering is stupid -- so put on the brakes and think about it before you do something irrevocably idiotic.
Look inside yourself and ask what is is that is pushing you in this destructive direction.

If you're in Seattle, I'd be happy to have drinks or dinner with you and try to talk some sense into you. (Oddly, I'm in a similar but far less serious situation myself.)

Courage, bro.

 

[georgebushmoron]

Guess what -- everyone falls out of passion after a while. It may eventually ramp up again, or not, and if it does, it will probably diminish again. You can't count on passion in the long run. It's not the best foundation for a relationship.

It sounds to me as though you're planning to throw away a million dollars so that you can pursue two million yen. Not a good plan.

You actually understand that what you're considering is stupid -- so put on the brakes and think about it before you do something irrevocably idiotic.
Look inside yourself and ask what is is that is pushing you in this destructive direction.

If you're in Seattle, I'd be happy to have drinks or dinner with you and try to talk some sense into you. (Oddly, I'm in a similar but far less serious situation myself.)

Courage, bro.

Hey Herby, thanks dude!

I'm in Vancouver now, but sometimes travel back to Seattle (I haven't had a residence there since 2003). But anyhow, to have drinks with someone whose intent is to tell me how stupid I am... well that sounds like a grand old time! LOL! I've been telling myself that for years already, but hey we could drink over some naked pussy here instead how's that?

Anyhow, I expect passion to run much longer than 3 years. I can understand it running out in 20 years, but 3 years seems a little short (actually, it ran out about a year go, so it had been 2 years). Is she the right one to dump? I expected the passion to run longer, so by that standard I'd say yes. Besides, why should anyone stay with someone when the passion runs out so quickly?

I need to see a shrink. I started the relationship with the current S.O. after 3 weeks of ending my last one. The longest break I've had without a woman is maybe 3 months. I was married once, but I broke it off at almost exactly 1 year. This is a pattern I'm finally beginning to see. Worst of all, I added pooning to my pattern in early 2003.

I met her while she was visiting. After she went back, I asked (begged) her to return. If she is forced to leave the relationship now, she'd go back to her country. She doesn't have enough here to keep her other than me. If she goes back, our chance of communicating again is going to be pretty minimal compared to if she were staying here.

I should have called myself "GeorgeSelfDestructBushMoron". It would have been more appropriate.

 

[lenny]

A strong statement, but one I respect. The only saving grace is that I don't do SWs.

You should start...the grass is always greener on the other side...
and then there's the thrill of the conquest...fresh young pussy

 

[lenny]

The last 3 years have been great.... my home has never been cleaner, I'm well fed, I get more BJs than I can handle, she swallows, she likes anal, she keeps it shaved bald, and she's kind of kinky too. But for some reason, I fell out of passion. I don't understand myself. I know I have it really good... I just don't understand why I want to give it up. Usually I pride myself at being somewhat intelligent, but I feel like I want to do something really stupid.

By "fell out of passion" do you mean "fell out of love", i.e. you are in love
with the GF but not the SP?

If that is the case, then maybe recollecting when & why you were in love
with the SO will rekindle it. This is because the emotions tend to follow
the direction of the mind & where it bathes. Bathe your mind in horror &
you will "fall in fear". Bathe it in romance flicks & that emotion will flood
in. Bathe in comedy & you will feel happy. The mind is a powerful thing,
but do you have the self control to keep it aimed primarily toward the
SO as The One.

Falling in love can just be an emotional thing that is as fleeting as the wind.
The one you are in love with does something wrong to you and you all of a
sudden are in hate with them.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, if you are thinking of her rather than
filling your time & heart with other women. Familiarity can breed contempt,
or at least loss of passion, while the new girl {GF} offers something fresh.

Could it be that she has also fallen out of passion with you and that has
something to do with how you feel about her?

Until you are 100% sure why you are in passion with one & not the other,
my suggestion is to do nothing.

Dr. lenny, MA, PHD, X3

 

[Herb_The_Perb]

I need to see a shrink. I started the relationship with the current S.O. after 3 weeks of ending my last one. The longest break I've had without a woman is maybe 3 months. I was married once, but I broke it off at almost exactly 1 year. This is a pattern I'm finally beginning to see. Worst of all, I added pooning to my pattern in early 2003.

Yes, see a shrink, and don't commit to a plan of action until you've made some headway there. Buy some time, sort things out. Maybe this crisis in a blessing in disguise.

And if you do wind up breaking up with the SO, you can honestly point to the counselling as evidence of your distress and your determination to do the right thing.