How Do You Drive?

[GreatGatsby]

HOW TO IDENTIFY WHERE A DRIVER IS FROM:

1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: MONTREAL
2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: TORONTO
3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: OTTAWA
4. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: BOSTON
5. One hand on wheel, one hand on non-fat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, gun on lap: LOS ANGELES
6. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: SASKATOON, but driving in TORONTO
7. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in the back seat: QUEBEC CITY
8. One hand on 12 oz. double shot latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on steering wheel while stuck in traffic: VANCOUVER
9. One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the brake and both feet on the accelerator, throwing McDonald's bag out the window: RED DEER
10. Four wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on the floor, raccoon tails attached to the antenna: PRINCE GEORGE
11. Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield driving 40 km/hr on Hwy 1 in the left lane with the left blinker on: VICTORIA
12. One ski-doo mitt on steering wheel, one ski-doo mitt scraper in hand out front window scrapping frost, Guess Who on 8 track playing Share The Land, hockey equipment smelling up car interior, waiting at lights for snow removal equipment to finish clearing intersection: WINNIPEG

 

[ScottyTwoHotty]

A big trend in Calgary is:
Applying make-up, reading the Calgary Sun, talking on a cellular phone, and eating McDonalds, all while driving 70km in a 100km zone.
My biggest pet peeve with drivers in this city, MERGE LANES! Too many people merge 20km - 30km slower than the traffic they are merging into. If that doesn't happen, nobody will move over so people can merge.
Calgary - Home of the worst drivers in Canada.
I drive a BMW, but some days I wish I drove a tank.

 

[DeaAphrodite]

I don't have a gun or beer cans in my truck. And the only tail in it is mine!

LOL!

 

[The Bostonian]

How about Hong Kong

Great Gatsby,

Is there one for Hong Kong drivers?

 

[Sexy BBW]

I don't drive, but my chauffeur has been know as a company called Translink and I occasionally use my broomstick

 

[old pooner]

Doing 80MPH, cruise control on. Having a snooze. SASKATCHEWAN

 

[georgebushmoron]

The best driving I've done is when I have a female friend sucking on my dick at the same time. I drive aimlessly around the block for what seems like hours when that happens.

 

[Sexy BBW]

The best driving I've done is when I have a female friend sucking on my dick at the same time. I drive aimlessly around the block for what seems like hours when that happens.

My fling in LA has asked me for the same thing, told him sure but aslong as you dont crash lmfao

 

[CalgaryJenn]

I can totally identify with you Old Pooner, I too am from Saskatchewan and although I don't and haven't driven alot, I can still to this day drive the TransCanada highway nearly blindfolded....LOL You learn over the years sitting in the passenger seat watching where all the bends in the road are.
Gaaawd I still don't miss Saskatchewan after all these years! You learn where that "one" particular bend in the road is and from there on it's clear straight sailing all the way to Saskatchewan

 

[ScottyTwoHotty]

Saskatchewan........
Isn't that like driving on the moon, except with no craters? Flat, boring, no hills. Is is provincial law that if you live in Saskatchewan, that you have to wear a green hat with a pom-pom on top and Sask Wheat Pool written on it? The only thing good that comes out of Saskatchewan is the Trans-Canada east, and Trans-Canada west. Everything in between is a wasteland.
I think Saskatchewan is an RCMP speed trap. I mean, how can you not speed through that province? You want out of it as quick as possible. As well, the province is set up perfect for speed traps. As you enter Saskatchewan from Manitoba, the RCMP can hit you with radar from the Alberta border.

 

[CalgaryJenn]

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I told you I lost my green hat with the pom pom on it speeding "out" of Saskatchewan on my way here....LOL Thanks Scotty, now everyone knows I wore those hats...LOL

 

[Quarter Mile'r]

How do I drive?

The speed limit in the fast lane just to piss everyone off !
Well no not really.......I do that just to remind people that the posted
speed limits are there for a reason. Now is that what they think it really is
that I'm trying to get across? Of course it is !!!

Now on the other hand If I'm on my way to do some poonin'.........

GET THE PHACK OUTTA MY WAY !!!!


............QM'r

 

[ScottyTwoHotty]

I usually do 20km over the limit, except playground and school zones. That, I do respect. However these assholes that drive 20km UNDER the limit, need a Mac Truck up their ass at 140km. Nothing pissed me off more driving than slow drivers, and people who are at a stop light and when it turns green, they wait like they are waiting for the perfect shade of green. Not a lot pisses me off, but I'm a road rage kinda guy.
I love these people who say, "Yeah.... I have never been involved in an accident in my life."
EVER LOOK BEHIND YA to see the ones you have caused?!?!?!?!?!?!
And those Fast And The Furious wannabe cars with 20 year old kids thinking they can do everything in the movies. Yeah right. Jenn, isn't your car one of those zippy little speed freak cars? LOL

 

[CalgaryJenn]

Well yes Scotty, yes I do have one of those little "speed freak" cars you are talking about, and yes it is my little rocket car. BUT I am in NO WAY a 20 year old anymore that thinks I am a Fast n Furious driver, hell I AM one of those people you talk about doing 10 "under" the speed limit pissing people off. I am like Driving Miss Daisey in a "zippy, speed freak" car...Vrooom Vrooom!

 

[ScottyTwoHotty]

LOL Ahhh so outcalls require 6 - 8 hours notice? LOL
I'm gonna come over one night and every 30 minutes I'm going to tap your glass and make that alarm go off. LOL You will get no sleep until you start driving faster.

 

[funnguy694u]

aS I GET OLDER I FIND MYSELF SLOWING DOWN...bUT STILL,MY LAST SPEEDING TICKET WAS FOR DOING 123 IN A 60 ZOON..

 

[Quarter Mile'r]

Hey FG, your caps lock is stuck !!

............QM'r

 

[funnguy694u]

How's that...ha ha,Must be sticking from all the hot reviews i bin reading this week...lol

 

[Quarter Mile'r]

There ya go ! But please don't explain the sticky keys from all the hot
reviews K?

.............QM'r

 

[INFORAPENNY]

Calgary - Home of the worst drivers in Canada.

Obviously Scotty you have not spent much time behind the wheel in Vancouver. Between the tourists, Starbucks addicts, people who can't steer and talk at the same time, new drivers and kids whose parents bought them a hot car that they have no idea what to do with, every day is RR day! And that is just duing the week. God help anyone who asks me to drive on a weekend when all those fools want to actually stop at every strip mall, which is of course on the other side of the street.