happily married

[sevenofnine]

Not to go into too many details.
but people looking at me and my wife, think were a happily married couple, more then that they think were love birds or newlyweds,

the women who said that to me I asked her she must be in love with her guy, she just gave me a disgusting face.

It seems strange but I have being seeing escorts for ten years now I guess, mostly one the last five or six or so, her and me have kind of gone over the top. its good between us, more then good,

But they say the same of me and my wife, they think we have a great marriage family etc, and all of that.

Thinking of the married couple I know, I wouldn't say there marriage is great, I sort of think a lot of them are dysfunctional to be blunt and honest in need of an intervention or divorce or therapy.

It is not to say me and my wife haven't had our bad moments and haven't been or are dysfunctional, were not having sex, so take that for what its worth.

me and my wife both came from dysfunctional sort of childhoods, so how did we know how to act or treat each other help each other,
the blind leading the blind,,

I met my sp hung out with her for years now, a classy women, she showed the way,
I interact with her like a man and wife or lover not like a client and sp. we kind of always have. long suppers, conversation talking about us catching up filling each other in, move to her bed room, eventually,

I have a relationship with her as much as I have had with any women ever, whether its real or an illusion it doesn't really matter, we haven't planned on running away with each other.
my point is I treat her like a lover, not like a whore.

I come home I treat my wife like a lover, even though were not making love,

its just funny this sex thing, this marriage thing guys, people are actually fucking miserable in there marriage,

is it so dam wrong to find something on the side,
a lot of people are thinking about monogamy for a lucky few it works no doubt,

but my honest opinion there are very few happily married couples.

a lot of single guys write there so thankful for prostitutes because they could never find a women or get a women any other way.

I think a lot could be said for a married couple, taking a night off once in awhile and seeing someone.
some sure as hell could use it from what I can see

 

[juniper]

"my point is I treat her like a lover, not like a whore." Do you pay her?

 

[Marilyn Sexy]

Very Classy.....Nice to know their are gentlemen like you : )

 

[Vitargo]

Not to go into too many details.
we kind of always have. long suppers, conversation talking about us catching up filling each other in, move to her bed room, eventually,

I have a relationship with her as much as I have had with any women ever, whether its real or an illusion it doesn't really matter, we haven't planned on running away with each other.
my point is I treat her like a lover, not like a whore.

Are you paying her for these long suppers and conversations, and moving to the bedroom nights? If so its an illusion, but if your having a great time with her then I guess it doesn't really matter.

 

[87112]

I use to work with a guy been married for over 20 years. Chinese guy old married to probably the most boring person on the planet. She does nothing but try to look like that singer Teresa Teng everyday, she has not not one hobby in the world. He looks at more woman than me. I tell him about my trips to Bangkok, Mexican Brothels and its written on his face he wants different action but you know its cheating to him and he can't do it.
I do not ever want to be so bored I look at more woman than a single guy.

 

[uncleg]

Not to go into too many details.
but people looking at me and my wife, think were a happily married couple, more then that they think were love birds or newlyweds,

Yup.....sounds like "were" is the operative word..........

 

[chuckertmg]

Just because he's paying her, doesn't mean she doesn't care about him personally. When I go to my 9-5 job, I'm getting paid and I care about my job. Some ladies really care about their clients. I know I do. They mean so much more to me than just dollars. Sometimes people just have a really great connection.

Thank you so much for saying that. I haven't blurred boundaries with my companion exactly, but I love the feeling of genuine affection and respect that we have for each other. Even within the context of the business, her contribution to my quality of life is enormous.

 

[juniper]

Would you still have an active connection, Lavinia, if you weren't getting paid?

Just because he's paying her, doesn't mean she doesn't care about him personally. When I go to my 9-5 job, I'm getting paid and I care about my job. Some ladies really care about their clients. I know I do. They mean so much more to me than just dollars. Sometimes people just have a really great connection.

 

[juniper]

Connections?

Would you still have an active connection, Lavinia, if you weren't getting paid?

Just because he's paying her, doesn't mean she doesn't care about him personally. When I go to my 9-5 job, I'm getting paid and I care about my job. Some ladies really care about their clients. I know I do. They mean so much more to me than just dollars. Sometimes people just have a really great connection.

 

[Vitargo]

Just because he's paying her, doesn't mean she doesn't care about him personally. When I go to my 9-5 job, I'm getting paid and I care about my job. Some ladies really care about their clients. I know I do. They mean so much more to me than just dollars. Sometimes people just have a really great connection.

When you pay for it some girls are great companions and a lot of fun. If if is all paid for then it I wouldn't see it as a true relationship or or connection as sevenofnine stated. I would see it as more of a connection, relationship, friendship, if you actually talk socially go for dinners without it being a paid transaction. I've socially traded texts and gone for a bite to eat with an sp without it being business; which has had its complications and may be hindering future business transactions when thats all I want. I personally mostly just wanna keep this as business rather than having an outside connection. Would rather not have problems that you'd get with a real gf, or is that part of th gfe-xperience

 

[sevenofnine]

Just a comment or two,

Bored is a big part of it, its not like I am young and horny or desperate, when I started I was,
I can't imagine going through life, not being with a women. It is not something I have to do or even need to,
its simply something I look forward to.
it seems to work for both of us.


It always comes down to money for some guys doesn't it. are you paying her and how much that is the only thing they think,

and yes initially I paid for every minute of our long supper dates.

for what ever reason that changed, were good friends or I get preferred client rate take you pick,
I have no clock, I pay her a certain flat rate, and when its over its over, whether its a half an hour and we have to go, or we spend the entire day together because we want to,
but no I don't pay her what I used to,

and to much water has gone under the bridge between me and my wife, she was the one that cut me off no sex,
a lot of things have happened were good friends get a long and are company for each other, but that is kind of the end of it.

 

[kauffman]

A fact of life is.... money is neessary to live. Men sometimes dont realize that in order for women to take care of all the little things that make her look extra special... quite a bit of money and time is involved... more so as she ages. There's hair... (cuts $65) color (100) every 2-4 weeks extentions sometimes ()$1500) makeup can be very expensive, nails (65$ every two weeks)toenails (45$), tanning (65$/month gym (50$/month) botox (400$/every 3 monthes), fillers $500 and up), breast augmentation (6500$), lingerie, dresses, high heels perfume. laser hair removal (2500 and up), eyebrow shaping, What men are paying for, in my opinion are to afford his companion these luxuries which are for his enjoyment... No woman ever wants to admit to half of these as they all want to leve the impression beauty is all natural... and that is the look one wants to pull off I would think... ultimately... that how she looks when you see her took very little effort... But any man that has spent any amount of time with beautifully presented women know... there's a lot that goes into the pretty package. So.... perhaps it doesnt need to be slapped with the ugly label "paid for". That holds a lot of judgement and bitterness. If the arrangement is one that brings joy to two people and allows the lady to look her best for her companion... I think it's a wonderful thing. If I had the means I would find a ton of satisfaction in doing the same thing

 

[sevenofnine]

when it comes to money and this

one of the best comments,

I don't pay for sex, I pay for them to leave,

which I think is so true in a lot of cases.
me and my sp are friends great friends, maybe she would see me for free or not, or some other women would a civi,
but then you have the entanglement, of where were you last night, you missed my birthday etc,
you pay them you close the door when you leave and your done with it, that's what your paying for.

 

[dkong]

Not to go into too many details.
but people looking at me and my wife, think were a happily married couple, more then that they think were love birds or newlyweds,

the women who said that to me I asked her she must be in love with her guy, she just gave me a disgusting face.

It seems strange but I have being seeing escorts for ten years now I guess, mostly one the last five or six or so, her and me have kind of gone over the top. its good between us, more then good,

Nothing strange about it. There is no reason to feel guilty, anxious or ashamed.

What is strange is that we pigeon hole ourselves into social roles, inside cultural norms. Husband, Father, Son.. living towards everyone else's ideals and rarely our own. I'm no expert, but after living on three continents I have learned a couple of things about culture, and I say do what makes you happy and be open about it. Generally, if your doing it right, it should make those around you happy too.. if it doesn't then be understanding of their views, but don't place much weight in them - the regret of inaction will eat away at you in time.

There is so much baggage comes with living up to cultural expectations. If you and your wife want a purely emotional relationship, that's great... if you want a sexual relationship and she just wants an emotional relationship, then that's a little tougher, but right now your able to have both, albeit with different people. Does your wife know you see SP's? If not, it sounds like you could tell her... done right you would be surprise how receptive some women can be towards the idea.

I'm no expert, but I've been lucky enough to be with my wife for 15 years, and she is awesome. After some recent very tragic PTSD type events, our world view changed. Instead of "being the Jones's" we focused on what we both wanted from life. That led us to this hobby and I am very lucky that she participates and enjoys this too. Recent events, (plus this hobby) has brought us closer together than ever and I can honestly say that not only are we stronger, our family life is better than ever and we have never been happier in our entire lives..

The events I refer to gave us the avenue to have open, honest and frank discussions on everything. I encourage you to find your right avenue to raise your opinions and views, be that counselling or courage.

As my wife always says, "I would never date a woman, they are too much hassle.", so yeah, its never easy - but it can be fun.

 

[Dickson]

I find this very interesting discussion. As a guy that has never been married but would like to be I find it fasinating to here married guys take on things. I am totally on the opposite end of the spectrium. I pay SPs to be my wife if I feel I need one. I have many SPs that I have had long term arrangements ie VV. Yes I pay I always pay. Very few times has a SP offered off the clock sevices. Why should they. Why would they?

Maybe my life is not so fucked up after all. Reading this makes me feel much better.

 

[sevenofnine]

sad in a way sometimes.

I had a great night at home, I mean just a little bit hung over, the family was watching tv. I needed bed, but I tried to sleep in front of the tv, of course they were having none of it, they kept bugging me throwing things at me,
I was home with people that love me, needed me,
no place like home, its true, so dam true,

but I was hung over from my sp, I hadn't seen her in a month holidays and stuff, didn't think it was a big deal, didn't miss her or sex, well just a smidge I guess,, since it was a while we went for supper to talk, we just talk a lot of the time, so lets get the conversation out of the way,

we did and I didn't think I was horny, or anything like whats the big deal,
then she got naked and I was between her legs, and omg, this is what I was missing for the last month.

she was more frisky then normal, it was fun, nice, what I needed and I didn't even realize that I did,

but I went home to my loving caring family, a good life, a real good life, her kind of alone,
that is what I mean sadness,

us married guys can have it all, family wife kids warm suppers waiting for us, love all that, and more,

and because of some stupid thing in us, we search out sex. in a lot of times from a lonely women.

an sp sp's have taught me to appreciate what I have,

sex is easy, sex is so dam easy.

the rest, family kids making it work nurturing the good times and the bad, well, not for everyone,

and I think that is true, the family life is not for everyone, some just don't fit the mold.

but you know something as a family guy say sixty, how many sixty year old women do you actually want to have sex with,
in my case my wife doesn't hasn't for years wanted to have anything to do with me,

its been so long, I wouldn't even want to any more, there are younger more fit and women with more sexual energy,

my wife is a great women I don't want to run her down, its just that she isn't that interested in sex.

should a marriage end, because two people can't agree on sex.
sex is so simple and only a very small part of life family,

but omg, at times its everything.

 

[87112]

I was close to getting married once, and bolted at those questions like " why don't you have more money saved? You have no kids, one mouth to feed?". I hate those types of questions, my life my rules my spending habits.
I hated her ways of spending my money on her ways without regards to how I feel about it.
Being Chinese she expected me to pay for everything, the poor line of " but I am Chinese Girl, guys pays for everythiing."

I don't think I am a marrying kind of guy, I am set in my ways. I just wish I was a billionaire playboy one girl to another. And yes pay them to leave.

 

[Booblover123]

I am in a 20 year marriage,sex has stopped with her going through menopause,but we have a great relationship.With all the things you go through in a marriage with kids,work,friends,pets,bills etc.,sex seems like such a small part in it.But then it becomes huge when you don't get it,that is why this hobby can really be a lifesaver,or even a marriage saver.My wife doesn't know what I do on the side,but I know she is happier that I don't bug her for sex anymore.

 

[Dickson]

I was close to getting married once, and bolted at those questions like " why don't you have more money saved? You have no kids, one mouth to feed?". I hate those types of questions, my life my rules my spending habits.
I hated her ways of spending my money on her ways without regards to how I feel about it.
Being Chinese she expected me to pay for everything, the poor line of " but I am Chinese Girl, guys pays for everythiing."

I don't think I am a marrying kind of guy, I am set in my ways. I just wish I was a billionaire playboy one girl to another. And yes pay them to leave.

Becareful what you wish for. It an't that wonderful. After a while the sex does not mean anything no matter how many SPs you are with. At my age there are times that I wish I had someone who wanted me for me. I am no billionaire but I have done alright. I think people have to appreciate what they have.

 

[nickcan]

Becareful what you wish for. It an't that wonderful. After a while the sex does not mean anything no matter how many SPs you are with. At my age there are times that I wish I had someone who wanted me for me. I am no billionaire but I have done alright. I think people have to appreciate what they have.

It's very hard to find somebody who wants you for you unless you are college/university age because at that age a woman can't evaluate where you are going in your career.
Wealth is definitely one of the top 3 requirements for most women (some #1), some won't admit it but some are honest and have told me straight up that they like me as a person but I don't make enough money.

Read that less than 5% of single Vancouverites make $200K+/year and I'm sure some will eventually settle.