guys don't make the mistakes i did,

[chris2008]

I think the best thing we can do to help 6 of 9 is just to ignore his posts...eventually he will stop...or not..but anything is better than these crazy threads.

 

[sevenofnine]

whatever,
but you know how many pm's i have got,

from guys who have had pretty much the exact same experiance i have had with one particular lady.

you know how many pm's i have gotten from guys who have had emotional difficulties in this hobby,

funny actually
a hand full of guys bashing me some stalking me,

and a hand full of guys with pm's telling me the exact same thing has happened to them with the same lady.
or they have gotten into emotional difficuilties as a result of this hobby,

so what ever,
to each his own

i guess in my case though it doesn't apply,

 

[rossedm34]

its rather interesting,
that people resort to mudslinging,


and they think i need a counsellor,
and no one really gives a shit about some poor slob attempting sucide,

and lives being ruined,

i wonder who needs the counsellor,

but oh well,

First it was another pathetic post (not unlike the few others the past couple days, or the endless "I'm giving up this hobby since it's so hard on derpy doo!" threads), now your being passive aggressive by trying to feel better and superior by making your critics feel bad by throwing suicide into this. Disgusting frankly.

Here's advice you should take:
1. GO TO A THERAPIST INSTEAD OF POSTING ON A PUBLIC FORUM IF YOU NEED HELP. You DO need help, even if you think you don't, you do. No one on here owes anyone anything, so if your going to post in some annoying beat poetry way something like this... well... don't expect people to fawn over and coddle you.

2. "Pooning" is not for you. Your into it for the wrong reasons since you are not currently capable of separating your emotions. Your looking for an emotional connection to feel worth in your life over a physical escape, instead of a physical escape with someone you connect with. If you don't see a difference, then this activity is NOT for you. Get a new hobby. Your writing about a new girl you paid to have time with like she's a new lover to fall for all over again. STOP IT! It's ok to care for the woman in this industry, it's not ok to drag them (or anyone) into your fantasy relationship life. If anyone can not recognize the boundaries, then it's not for them! Can the boundaries be broken? Of course they can... BY ACTUALLY TALKING IT OUT IN PERSON AND RESPECTING THAT THE OTHER MIGHT NOT BE INTERESTED IN BREAKING THEM!

3. SEE A THERAPIST FOR COUNSELING!! Seriously, I can't stress that enough to the guys (and SPs, I'm sure this happens in reverse too) who are having problems dealing with the hobby. Life's too short to drive yourself crazy over what should be a hilarious time with your pants off.

Fuck sakes, I haven't been around here long, and this place seems like sad sack stalker central or something.

 

[quagmuire]

Dude... she's an ESCORT. She spends time with you for money... as well as many other men. Don't go falling in love

 

[blazejowski]

7of9, I've found the perfect doctor for you. He seems pretty reputable and knowledgeable and has a rather serious look on his face. Let me know how your therapy sessions go.

"Please state the nature of the medical emergency..."

 

[deslicher]

LMAO....well that didn't take long.

I feel bad for this man and yes he needs some assistance. I could say more but I don't want that responsibility. Just keep in mind he was like this on the other board as well, so try not to waste your energy too much. Afterall, he could be sitting back laughing at all the attention he is getting....who knows.

What is so difficult to understand about my previous post guys? You don't want to be labeled an enabler do you ?

Anyway, he's obviously not listening, and it doesn't seem to matter how intelligent your advice is.

 

[HeMadeMeDoIt]

whatever,
but you know how many pm's i have got,

from guys who have had pretty much the exact same experiance i have had with one particular lady.

you know how many pm's i have gotten from guys who have had emotional difficulties in this hobby,

,

You trying to make us believe there are other pussy whipped douchebags on this board?

 

[janus]

Brother to Brother

Imrockhard is absolutely right on.
An escort isn't your girlfriend. She isn't even your friend (in most cases, of course there are exceptions!). In most cases they don't want to have anything to do with your personal life. You are paying for a service, but being your ACTUAL girlfriend isn't one of them. Providing intimacy during the session is...but that ends once the time's up.

When you realize that then you will start feeling better about yourself then. In the meantime - GO GET SOME HELP. If you have an extended health insurance plan your employer should even pay for it.

This is why they call it the "game". It's as old as time itself. Many years ago I spent time in a Buddhist monnestary in Thailand. It was a wonderful experience and I remember this gallery they had of various artist who had spent time there. One image I will always remember is of this lady in a mini with the high heels low cut top and all these fish hooks coming out of her. Sadly although there is so much we can share with one another about the foibles of this shared experience we do. We can only learn by ourselves and going through the pain until we come out of other side and see it as it really is. Good luck to all of you who are still going through any pain and should not be there.

 

[Violet]

its rather interesting,
that people resort to mudslinging,


and they think i need a counsellor,
and no one really gives a shit about some poor slob attempting sucide,

and lives being ruined,

i wonder who needs the counsellor,

but oh well,

It seems as though you are blaming this SP for "ruining lives" or driving this poor man to suicide, when these men should be taking some responsibility for their own feelings & their own lives. If a man tried to end his life because a woman did not love him, regardless of whether he thinks she led him on, it is not her fault! Obviously if someone is going to become suicidal over rejection they have clinical depression & are not emotionally stable. It is unfair to put all the blame on this woman who was most likely just doing her job.

well, 7 of 9, i haven't read many of your posts, or any from any other board, but i've had a somewhat similar experience.

i saw an sp for a while and felt like we were becoming friends & getting close, but i started to notice that the closer i felt we were becoming, the service level started to go lower and lower to the point that she wasn't really satisfying my needs, and seemed sort of put out when i asked for things.

what i eventually realized was she was putting the least amount of energy possible into our sessions because she COULD & KNEW that i had gotten emotionally attached to her and so would never write a negative review.

i kept seeing her though because she would throw me a bone every now and then and i thought maybe next time she would warm up. i was grasping at any hint or sign of a connect, but there wasn't one.

one day i had to accept the fact that all of the pm's, emails & hours we spent chatting on IM were just her marketing & keeping me hooked & her spinning the illusion that we were getting closer to keep me coming back. when in truth, i was the only one getting closer & she was just working.

at the end of it all, and the one thing i really related to in your post, was that i would have been happy to see her without the mind fuck, and would still continue to be a happy client today. very confusing to me as this doesn't seem to be a good business strategy, but it's her biz, so whatever.

the most important lesson through all of this for me has been:

there are no victims in the world, only volunteers - i believed what i wanted to believe - and she couldn't have ran a mind-fuck game if i didn't play along to begin with.

I like your last statement & I think it is good advice for Sevenofnine.

However, another interpretation of your situation could have been that the SP realized you were developing feelings for her & was not providing good service because she did not want to lead you on in any way. Perhaps she thought if she gave you mediocre service you would stop coming to see her & get over it? It is not always a devious ploy by SPs to get as much money from you with as little work as possible.



Some guys fall for SPs too easily, & that doesn't always mean that the SP is doing anything outside the norm to "lead them on" or make them feel like she loves them, a lot of the time it is just that the man is seeing what he wants & misinterpreting the fact that she is: a) nice to him & b) willing to have sex with him as her sharing his feelings. There are also cases when the SP does feel a chemistry with the guy, (we are only human after all), & just because it doesn't work out for whatever reason or she doesn't want to blur the client/SP boundary any furthur does not mean she was maliciously leading the man on with intentions of breaking his heart.

 

[Valium]

i saw an sp for a while and felt like we were becoming friends & getting close, but i started to notice that the closer i felt we were becoming, the service level started to go lower and lower to the point that she wasn't really satisfying my needs, and seemed sort of put out when i asked for things.

what i eventually realized was she was putting the least amount of energy possible into our sessions because she COULD

I have been in a similar situation. When i realized the same as you i never went back to see that sp again.

If your reason for seeing sp's is the emotional attachment then you have a bigger problem and should quit pooning asap.

 

[FortunateOne]

Agree with Violet.

What could be perceived as starting to give "bad service" could just be the sp drawing a clear line in the sand: this much and not more. Defining the boundaries of sp and client, and not friends, she may have done so awkwardly. It could have been difficult for her to just stop seeing him altogether, as in this biz she would rather he choose not to see her then suffer the consequences of her refusal to see him. However that manifested, an obsessive client denied access to the object of his affection could be more dangerous than simply creating sessions that he no longer finds appealing. This way he makes the break and the decision, and can move on.

 

[blazejowski]

Excellent post. I've pretty much run across the same thing. I was seeing a woman on an Sugar Daddy basis and things were going fine for about 2 years or so, then she ran into financial hardship and I lent her money, (supposedly against future encounters) big mistake.

Been there, done that.... I will never do it again, as it always bites me in the ass...

 

[FunSugarDaddy]

Some guys fall for SPs too easily, & that doesn't always mean that the SP is doing anything outside the norm to "lead them on" or make them feel like she loves them, a lot of the time it is just that the man is seeing what he wants & misinterpreting the fact that she is: a) nice to him & b) willing to have sex with him as her sharing his feelings. There are also cases when the SP does feel a chemistry with the guy, (we are only human after all), & just because it doesn't work out for whatever reason or she doesn't want to blur the client/SP boundary any furthur does not mean she was maliciously leading the man on with intentions of breaking his heart.

From my experience, it's a two way street. I certainly know SP's who purposely make you feel like you're damn near the one and only. Start or end all their e-mails with endearing phrases, or words. (ie xoxox, love ya, Hi Babe,) that sort of thing. And then seems surprised when every second guy they see ends up get attached to them.

Hello??? If you don't want any emotional attachment to occur, perhaps you may wish to restrict the endearing comments or at the very least use them sparingly.

 

[FunSugarDaddy]

I would expect an sp to do just what you described. That's EXACTLY what I am paying an sp for; to provide the illusion that I am the only one. I play along by "buying" the illusion, all the while knowing that WE ARE BOTH pretending for an hour or two.

The problem I experienced is that the more time we spent outside of a session through emails, PM's, and chatting on IM, the cooler she seemed to get during our sessions. It's not like I ever proclaimed my undying devotion to her or anything, we chatted and she would refer to me as being more than just a client and she felt like we had become friends. But the service continued to get worse until it wasn't any fun seeing her anymore because the sessions sucked so badly.

I donno, maybe Violet is right, and what I experienced was the sp's way of either making sure that I kept her boundary, or it was the sp's way of ensuring hers.

Just to clarify, it is correspondence that I'm referring to. One Sugar Babe, who I've been seeing for almost 3 years now, had changed our relationship over the last 6-7 months to the point that we only meet for the occassional lunch, so go figure. As someone said earlier, I'm half to blame if I allow a relationship to go in a particular direction.

 

[Rotcod]

From my experience, it's a two way street. I certainly know SP's who purposely make you feel like you're damn near the one and only. Start or end all their e-mails with endearing phrases, or words. (ie xoxox, love ya, Hi Babe,) that sort of thing. And then seems surprised when every second guy they see ends up get attached to them.

Hello??? If you don't want any emotional attachment to occur, perhaps you may wish to restrict the endearing comments or at the very least use them sparingly.

Honestly, I use those terms to some (not all) of the sp I see. Most know that I am sincere in those comments, but that they are not the only ones that use them towards.

I have one rule of thumb that so far has proven effective to keep me from getting to close to a girl. When I see a girl as an escort, then that is all I see them for. Their job is to give me an hour I will not soon forget, and my job is to present myself in a polite and clean hygiene-wise state. If a girl wishes to see me outside of this client-escort relationship, then I have absolutely no problem with, in fact I have been asked this a few times. However, I make it clear to them that if I do start seeing a girl on a friends basis, then I can no longer see them in a client-escort relationship.

Remember, the girls are selling a fantasy, so to speak. Everything that happens during a session, is part of the fantasy, although a lot of feelings that a girl shares may be true. For me, seeing a sp is akin to renting a girlfriend. When I see a girl, I like to pretend that she is my girlfriend for the hour (without all the nagging ), and ideally I would like for her to pretend that I am her boyfriend (again, without all the nagging ). My message to the OP, and anyone else that has similar problems is that the second you feel you are getting too attached, step away from the situation, until your male logical mind takes over again. If that means quitting this 'hobby' then its all for the better. But for God's sake DO NOT START TEN THREADS ON HOW YOU GOT YOUR HEART BROKEN!!!!!! This is an adult escort forum, not a self help center. Although maybe some of us can relate to some extent a person's problem, we are not qualified to provide therapy. That is something to see a professional for.

 

[FunSugarDaddy]

I actually have a little stranger solution. If I'm getting close to an SP or SB and I think perhaps I'm crossing a line, I usually stop communicating with them for awhile. A while might be until they start communicating with me. Me and this one SB went months without being in touch.This usually sets things straight and adds the proper perspective to the situation.

I know it may be unusual but if they aren't prepared to initiate contact then I know what the score is, and if they do, it usually means they're at least fond of me on some level. Given that I'm married, I do know that these type of relationships aren't going to towards marriage or anything idiotic like that, but that don't mean a special friendship can't be developed that lasts for several years, and in many respects this is more valuable anyway.

Speaking of which, we use to have these young, often male, english language students staying with us, and I would always tell them "don't get married." it was the best and only advice I could pass off to them.

 

[melissa.in.abby]

Everything that happens during a session, is part of the fantasy, although a lot of feelings that a girl shares may be true. For me, seeing a sp is akin to renting a girlfriend. When I see a girl, I like to pretend that she is my girlfriend for the hour (without all the nagging ), and ideally I would like for her to pretend that I am her boyfriend

I feel the same way... it can be true, but only for the time specified... it is actually quite a special relationship it its self.

 

[Violet]

From my experience, it's a two way street. I certainly know SP's who purposely make you feel like you're damn near the one and only. Start or end all their e-mails with endearing phrases, or words. (ie xoxox, love ya, Hi Babe,) that sort of thing. And then seems surprised when every second guy they see ends up get attached to them.

Hello??? If you don't want any emotional attachment to occur, perhaps you may wish to restrict the endearing comments or at the very least use them sparingly.

Do you really think that ending emails with "xoxoxo" is overly endearing & could lead men to think that the SP has feelings for them?? I think that one is a bit of a stretch. TBH, I end ALL my emails & PMs with "xoxoxo", it's just like an idiosyncracy & a little more fun that saying "bye" or what have you. I certainly never thought anyone could possibly construe this as my having special feelings for them... (I agree with you in general though, just not on that particular one; but it is also true that many SPs do that kind of thing because if they are GFE, then that's what's often expected of them, the fantasy...)

I actually have a little stranger solution. If I'm getting close to an SP or SB and I think perhaps I'm crossing a line, I usually stop communicating with them for awhile. A while might be until they start communicating with me. Me and this one SB went months without being in touch.This usually sets things straight and adds the proper perspective to the situation.

I know it may be unusual but if they aren't prepared to initiate contact then I know what the score is, and if they do, it usually means they're at least fond of me on some level.

I don't think that it means you "know what the score is" if the SP doesn't initiate first contact. It could also be the reverse, that she isn't initiating contact when you haven't been in touch because she does not want you to think that she is only interested in your money & getting ahold of you because she wants you to book with her again. She could also just be respecting your boundaries or not wanting to seem like she is soliciting business. But I do agree that it can be a good idea to take a break for a while, maybe go see another SP, if one is getting too close to a particular SP who you see all the time.

 

[blazejowski]

"The vast majority of women in the business hate it. They need the money but hate the work. They often require drugs to dull the pain and disgust of having to allow a stranger to use their bodies while performing all sorts of acts.

The "Johns" may not be decent, kind, nice, or attractive...in fact they may be dirty, smelly, and repulsive; they may like aberrant or deviant sex acts that a woman finds repulsive. The may be abusive, hurtful, and disrespectful. Doesn't matter.

These women learn how to pretend the guy is great when behind their backs they laugh at how they can manipulate the Johns to believe they are really great guys. They are paid to pretend a guy is wonderful when in fact he may be the farthest thing from a decent man."

Linda Greene
Massage Brothel worker for 8 years (Toronto)

The Prostitute that wrote the above obviously has little respect for us Johns. I am deeply saddened by this, you think she would be more appreciative since it is us Johns that pay her for her Prostitute services! [angry face].

Go peddle your papers somewhere else, little "man", no one wants to hear your garbage...

 

[anonanon]

Scary stuff really when it comes down to it.

I've often wondered at what point do you stop seeing your "regular" and start to see your "gf" or what have you. I've never gotten to the OP's situation with a SP (hopefully never will) however you all must realize that SPs are one of the most addicting hobbies around. Hell every guy wants a girl to tell him he's great, and while your in fantasy land make her a hot DD blond to boot.

What is important to know in this industry is that she really IS your girlfriend, but only for that hour or two hours. After your time is up she is just like your plumber or electrician to you, more than willing to come and provide a service with/for you but you have to pay for it. Would you expect your plumber to fix your toilet for free because he fixed your leaky sink a few weeks ago? Nope.

When it boils down to it you need to set boundaries in this industry and not cross them. If you ever feel that your becoming too attached, or if "she really likes me" floats through your head, then well my friend IMHO it's time to move on and see someone else or take a break entirely.

With this being said, I have 4 friends who I met as SP's who are now personal friends. I no longer see them professionally and we no longer have sex but sometimes having a friend is better. I do realize, however, that this is quite rare and should not be expected.

Also, bashing the guy is not the route to go here. If you don't like this thread then don't open it. The OP needs to realize that there is sex and then there is SP sex, vastly different. I can sympathize with him however, I've *almost* caught myself a few times....But then I don't see the girl for a while and I'm good to go again, once I get myself into a better, more clear frame of mind...