Carman Fox

Guilt over ghosting someone

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87112

Banned
Dec 13, 2004
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Has anyone else felt really bad remorse over ghosting ? About 7-8 years ago I ghosted a young lady I was introduced to, we shared some messages and pics and I lost interest as I did not find her as a potential GF, so I just stopped communicating. Now after all this time I can't think about the past and how mean it is to just throw someone away without an explanation. I have been ghosted myself by women recently so I guess Karma is kicking my nuts back. Its makes you more nervous towards people because the exit door in the relationship could be the next day, you just don't want to open up.

Since I will never be able to say I am sorry to this person I will just vow to never ghost anyone in my life. Eventually the pain you cause someone will haunt you.
 
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UhOh

Well-known member
Dec 11, 2011
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If you're only concerned for her now because the shoe is on the other foot than you shouldn't let it bother you, she's probably gotten over it by now likely doesn't want to hear from you anyhow. I've been on the reviving end of ghosting a couple of times because of my own fault. I wish them the best but I prefer never hearing from them again.
 
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87112

Banned
Dec 13, 2004
3,692
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*&^%
I felt bad and guilty years before I was a ghostee recently. Just last week a lady gave me her phone # and an arranged meet date. I texted and called and she did a casper the ghost on me. I had to wonder what happened on that one, I did not ask for number or a date. She went first!
 
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jamasianman

Well-known member
Dec 5, 2015
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Sometimes its awkward to tell someone you are are not feeling a connection. A friend of mine set me up with her sister and we saw a movie and it was fine, but there was no chemistry. Instead of texting her for another hangout I simply didn't initiate plans again, she didn't either because she was very shy. In a way I ghosted her but there's not much else one can do if she isn't willing to communicate either. I'm not gonna text her to tell her I don't want to see her again that would be weird.
 
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ndillinger

Member
Mar 18, 2016
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Because ghosting is a tactic employed shamelessly by people throughout modern societies, it is now considered appropriate etiquette to engage in this behavior. But please, go ahead and feel guilty about it. I will not hold any sympathy for you.
 
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Aesthetics>all

Member
Dec 28, 2015
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I recently cut someone off, I wish I had ghosted them instead of explaining that they just bring nothing to the table and spending time with them doesn’t improve my life in any way at all, so I see no reason to continue talking to them or spending time with them ����*♂
 
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204fun

Well-known member
Jan 18, 2018
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About two years ago, while traversing the wasteland that was Craigslist before getting into the world of SP's , I connected with a woman in her early 40's who was unhappily married and looking for some excitement. We emailed, texted, sexted and snapchatted for months, including one physical meet up that escalated into some fun foreplay. Finally we set a date to meet again and explore each other more fully and the day before that scheduled meet she completely fell off of the map. It was literally one minute I was receiving nudes over snapchat and the next her snapchat was deleted and emails were undeliverable. Tried reaching out a few times afterwards, but never received a response or explanation (although I'm quite certain I know what happened). Either way I was definitely ghosted and while I can understand why it probably happened it still would have been preferable to have some kind of explanation for a bit of closure.
 
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jamasianman

Well-known member
Dec 5, 2015
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I don't know if that qualifies as ghosting, she was just messing around. Ghosting usually means meeting someone who isn't taken and nothing seems wrong, maybe a first date or coffee and then they disappear for no reason.
The lady in your situation had a reason for cutting you off, she was married so she didn't want to get caught.

Ghosting is when someone drops contact without a real reason. They were just not into you but instead of telling you why they just disappear.
 
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johnnydepth

Average Sized Member
Nov 14, 2015
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winnipeg
If this is ghosting I must be a real asshole. I've had tons of meetings where things didn't click on one or both sides and communication just dropped with no explanation, both by myself and the lady. I don't take it personal. 1st, 2nd, even 3rd dates are a trial period for me and if it's not there, I bail. If the lady calls or texts me I just say we gave it a try and it's not working for me... and that is the end of it. I don't feel I need to give a further explanation and don't expect one in return. It's not that the other person isn't "good enough"' they just aren't the right match.
Now doing this after you have been seeing someone for weeks or months, that to me is ghosting and that is just wrong.
 
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JimDandy

Well-known member
May 17, 2004
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If you only have one or two dates and then stop communicating, I do not think of that as ghosting. That is just one way of saying, I'm not interested in continuing a relationship. In the past, before email and texting, you would just not call and if they called you, you would not pick up (if you had call display) or would make an excuse as to why you could not see them that week and that you would get back top them. That would usually get the message across.

For me ghosting is totally disappearing after having established a real relationship over a period of months or years.

JD
 
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firecracker-84

New member
Sep 2, 2018
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Aesthetics>all said:
I recently cut someone off, I wish I had ghosted them instead of explaining that they just bring nothing to the table and spending time with them doesn’t improve my life in any way at all, so I see no reason to continue talking to them or spending time with them ����*♂
Click to expand...
I think being honest, even when it's harsh, is much better than doing the cowardly vanishing act.
 
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JimDandy

Well-known member
May 17, 2004
3,086
656
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Lower Mainland, B.C.
sybian said:
I've never vanished on someone without an explanation....but I've been kicked in the nuts a few times for an honest ,harsh explanation.
Click to expand...
Lol - that is subtle. Hopefully subtle enough to escape the wrath of the mods :) Welcome back by btw. I for one missed your view on lounge topics.

JD
 
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