Ghosts in the Machine .....

Bad Santa

Seeking Sexy Helpers
Feb 26, 2010
1,111
28
48
South Pole
We all have to admit there is a certain loneliness to our pastime. For most of us it is a secret life. Out there in the "real" world we have families, friends and aquaintences who know absolutely nothing of our secret lives of pooning or providing.

Thus, we seek community and that is how boards like PERB become such a wonderful refuge for us. A refuge from our lonely pastime where we can celebrate our secret lives with fellow travellers and make new friends here. For many of us it is the only place we can discuss this pastime which takes up a significant part of our lives.

For that I will always be thankful to the creators of boards like this. It should be said more often. Thank you Fred Zed!

There is a slightly eerie aspect to the boards though. We are all anonymous of course but we all build our unique characters here and many of us form friendships in this electronic jungle. Of course pooners and providers actually see each other as well on a very intimate level.

The eerie part of the boards are the "disappeared". Sometimes fellow pooners who have become great friends on the board or providers who have been wonderful, intimate lovers will just disappear. Whether they were banned or retired from the hobby, or are just taking a long break, or have actually passed away, we may never know and might never find out. That's what's eerie.

Some do of course announce their retirement from the hobby but very many don't. They're simply gone.

When you've spent a fair bit of time here as I have in the last year or so, you realize this really is a community of fellow human beings, almost a family of sorts. When a friend on the boards or an SP you've been intimate with many times vanishes from here and from the business, there can be a real sense of loss. Most likely they have probably just retired from the business or may be taking a long break only to come back later and have simply not announced it. Sometimes they have actually passed away though.

I recently found out that a beautiful young SP who had been a favorite of mine for several years had died. I had thought she had retired a couple of years ago as she was no longer working. Then about a month ago, someone told me she had died a violent death. Her story had been in the newspapers but I had missed it.

I was completely shocked and I've been going through an actual period of grieving as I would for any close friend or family member. I'm still not past it as she was a remarkable, beautiful, intelligent and very giving young woman who I really cared for. I pray that she's in a peaceful good place now.

This experience has made me think though, how many of those who simply disappear from these boards are actually really no longer with us? How many have become "Ghosts in the Machine"?

Perhaps we should say a little prayer for them from time to time.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

That having been said, I'm going to be taking a break for awhile. I won't be a Ghost in the Machine, God willing, and will probably be back before too long. How long, I cannot say, as my 'little head' has a habit of breaking my schedules when he puts his horny mind to it! It may be days, it may be weeks, it may be months.

If my little dickhead, 'Ole Southpole leads me astray with some lovely new SP, I'll be sure to come back and let you all know about it.;)

In the meantime have fun boys and girls and always remember to:

Take care out there!

Signing off from the South Pole, always pointing North,

Bad Santa
 

BS Detector

Active member
Sep 7, 2003
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www.bsdetector.com
I recently found out that a beautiful young SP who had been a favorite of mine for several years had died. I had thought she had retired a couple of years ago as she was no longer working. Then about a month ago, someone told me she had died a violent death. Her story had been in the newspapers but I had missed it.

I was completely shocked and I've been going through an actual period of grieving as I would for any close friend or family member. I'm still not past it as she was a remarkable, beautiful, intelligent and very giving young woman who I really cared for. I pray that she's in a peaceful good place now.
I've always said it is about more than money. Yes, we are all out to earn a living but there are some people out there that will give you the time of day and not just to make a buck but because they are genuinely good people. I'm sure many who knew this lady feel the same way you do, myself included.
 

wolverine

Hard Throbbing Member
Nov 11, 2002
6,385
9
38
E-Town
Good luck, Santa. Always looked forward to your reviews, seeing that we have similar tastes in ladies.

I've posted on various internet forums for interests other than pooning - sports, cars, movies, you name it. Forum posters coming and going is the nature of the internet. People stop posting on a particular internet forum because their interests and lives change. Simple as that.

As for being unable to talk about the hobby outside of the boards, there's nothing wrong with hooking up with your fellow pooners for a drink or two if they are willing. I meet with one other regular PERBert for dinner/drinks/waitress-oogling at least a couple of times a year, and have met other PERBerts. And those other internet forums? I've met the guys for drinks, have dated the ladies.

Anyway, get your alcoholic* ass back here once you've sorted your shit out!

* I picture you more as the Billy Bob Thornton character and not the mythical Christmas person.
 

uncleg

Well-known member
Jul 25, 2006
5,655
839
113
Good luck Big Guy........................just remember Christmas is coming and wouldn't be the same without you.
 

Man Mountain

Too Old To Die Young
Oct 29, 2006
3,851
29
0
Vancouver
That was a really thoughtful and thought provoking post, Bad Santa. Take care of yourself and be well and try not to let those ghosts haunt you too much. I look forward to your posts when you return. :)
 

Bad Santa

Seeking Sexy Helpers
Feb 26, 2010
1,111
28
48
South Pole
Thanks for all the kind words everyone. I will miss all the good people here.
 

uncleg

Well-known member
Jul 25, 2006
5,655
839
113
Thanks for all the kind words everyone. I will miss all the good people here.
Just don't end up in the trunk with Jim.:thumb:
 

Dark_Knight

I'm Batman
Nov 23, 2003
1,287
7
38
Here
1208
I hope you enjoy your time away! I will miss your posts though!
 

69guy

Active member
Sep 24, 2006
1,022
11
38
Santa you all good in my books. i get that you have been really effected by this loss. it shows that you are, for lack of better words, human.

i will miss reading your posts as well. hope to see you back in the future, but if for some reason you are gone for good i wish you nothing but the best.

take care.
 

satinguy

New member
Apr 15, 2011
238
0
0
Edmonton Area
Great post Bad Santa, one of the best i have ever read.

I agree with what you are saying and think you should be commended for saying it. I too have the same concerns and while i am still relatively new to this lifestyle your points hit home with me. The Boards provide an outlet for likes, dislikes, positive experiences as well as negative and at times can be a source of comfort. There are very few of us that can talk to a buddy about our hobby over a cold beer on Saturday nights and i am sure it must be similar for the ladies.

For a variety of reasons we all have to remain annonymous on the Boards. For some it is for family reasons, career reasons, or any combination of both but it certainly can be a lonely existence. I have contacted a few people here through PM about a number of things that are not related to something like recommending a girl. I have often asked for advice on how to best deal with feelings associated with the hobby and received some very solid advice. I often wonder if the guy in the office next to me is on the Board and making plans to see someone or if the polite young lady in reception moonlights as an SP? Not exactly something you can ask about so i find my comfort here in the great folks that contribute to the board.

And i am not ashamed to say that i care about the girls i spend time with. They are not objects, trophies, possessions or anything like it. They (and i can only speak of those i have seen) are beautiful, intelligent, caring people who are someones daughter, sister, friend, and Mother and deserve to be treated with the same respect we would show a friend or coworker. I also think they care for the guys as well.

I have tried to respect all of the guys and girls here since i joined and really appreciate those who went out of their way to help me find my way. Like it or not, we are a community and we are really the only ones who understand this lifestyle. A recent party i attended and listening to my friends speak about this business reinforced the fact i am on my own in this hobby. The off the wall comments and uneducated statements i heard almost made me laugh. Thank God i can come to this Board and actually contact someone who gets it.

I attended my first M&G recently and it was great to be able to share time with someone that has the same interest as me and i like to think i made some good friends. Truth is i never grew up here and probably have more friends here than the so called real world. I also like to keep in contact with the girls i have seen and regard them as friends and i would be quite disturbed if something bad ever happened to either of them. One particular young lady i am always worried about but she knows how to take care of herself.

This may shock some, i go to Church every Sunday. I beleive in God and don't for a second beleive my hobby makes me a bad person. Last night i had to tell my son about the famine in Somalia and explain that some kids don't have enough food. It was heartbreaking as he started crying and asked if we could help and today we are going out to make a donation when i pick him up. Problem is 95% of society probably think i am a bad guy.

For those who have made it this far in my post, sorry i went off track. Writing provides me an opportunity to express my feelings. I want to wish Bad Santa the best and thank him for writting this post. I think may have had these concerns but he came forward. Hope you find solace and whatever else you are looking for and come back real soon.

SG
 
Great post Bad Santa, one of the best i have ever read.
Wow, what a good read, thanks for being so genuine. This is so true, I as an escort who see's a great number of "mature" gentlemen and form close very friendly relationships often encounter that, once in a while someone just stops calling, vanishes, and its usually someone who I'd noticed there health declining and such, it can be a very off setting lonely feeling to not be allowed to know what happens to our friends who disappear.

Thanks for shining a light on something that constantly crosses my mind, I can't say I'm not worried about losing someone in my bed but that's a whole nuther situation... "enter at your own risk" ... ;)

 
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