Asian Fever

Gaffes, mishaps, and bloopers

Sporting

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Feb 7, 2010
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This is intended to be a humor thread where we can share crazy things that have really happened on the way to, during and from visiting an SP. I suggest we don't mention SP's by name.

I'll start. I like to be on time for dates and I'm often close to the line. I'm always libated pre-date, so my brain and particularly memory goes into neutral and I forget things, like to stop into a bank machine.
1. I showed up once with no cash, and had to run thru Metrotown and across Kingsway to the machine. Lost 20 min, handler wasn't giving me a break, but still got it done (45 min date).
2. Was on the train, realized I took wrong train and had to circle back. Groan, but only 5 min late.
3. I wear prescription glasses. I parked them under the pillow mid missionary. We finished late and in the rush to leave, the hidden glasses escaped notice. I realized when I was on the street that I was without my glasses, and had no choice but to go back. The readout on my phone was a blur, I guessed and called, they wouldn't answer. So I go into a store close by and the proprietor reads out the text, which was instruction for intercom, room etc. Somehow I hookup with handler, get buzzed back in and up. Luckily, she had no follow on appt. She says she looked everywhere didn't see. In desperation, I lift the pillow, there they were. I slunk out with profuse apologies.
4. Late again, I was hustling from RO station. There's 6" of fresh snow. There's no trail over to the street i take. I'm wearing boots that were bought in Pac Center. I've been telling myself I got to get out the Vibrams. There's a steep slope about 10' down. I put one foot forward and do a complete Charlie Brown, land on my back, my head bangs the turf. No harm, I'm wearing a back pack and a toque. There was a beer in there, and I didn't hear any fizzing so assumed everything ok. I told the girl about it, thinking there was no damage. After the deed, I reach in for the beer, and it's all wet in there....WTF? Well there was a good sized bottle of mouth wash in there that got flattened, and the mouth wash was soaking everything, including the chair the bag was sitting on. OOPS!

I'm sure I will think of more. Anyone else got funny stories?
 

jamasianman

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Dec 5, 2015
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1. One time I had to piss really bad. But it wasn't time for my appointment yet, I was maybe 20 minutes early and didn't want to head over. So I go to International Village mall to piss, but the downstairs washroom has a cop and security guard dealing with an addict outside the washroom. The security guard nodded for me to move on as I wouldn't be able to use it. I go upstairs to the ones by the food court and the men's washroom is closed for cleaning. I was literally about to burst so I just went into a stall in the women's washroom, and of course they had like 15 stalls. After I do my business I had to wait as two other women went in and I wanted to exit with no confrontations. This was back in 2017 so the whole washrooms are for everyone wasn't a thing yet

2. The same fucking thing happened to me before a visit with a Korean lady in burnaby. I popped into a McDonald's and didn't notice I went in the women's washroom and passed, then washed my hands and an old lady started screaming at me for using the wrong one

3. Ar my old job I would usually not get off work till 4pm. One of my faves Svetlana of 6456 would usually work til 4pm so I always missed her. I got cut at 230pm and figured I may try and see who's free since it's a rare chance that I get off early. I see that svet is working til 4pm and maybe I can just get a 45 min session by 315. I literally booked without even knowing if I could make it. I normally take a bus to their burnaby in all but I was downtown. I run to the skytrain and take it to Edmonds, and was lucky to snag a cab there and gave the address and told him to step on it. We get there just a minute shy of 315 and I tip the dude 25 percent and go for my session. To this day it always reminds me of those: my parents aren't home memes where the guy is shown rushing after being told to come over. It was the fastest commute and run to a session ever lol
 

Ray

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Dec 21, 2005
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Went to a place in Burnaby. Did a drive by of the complex to get an idea of the address. Parked at a pub down the street, and started walking to the place.
Phoned the lady and said I was about 30 seconds away, she provided me with the access code for the front door.
I couldn't find the address. The buildings seemed to skip a set of numbers. I went around the side of the building to see if I'm missing something.
Called the lady again. Chatted with her as she came outside. She informed me she was outside her building. I didn't see anyone. This is unusual.
I looked around, up and down the street. Saw a lady across the street on her cell phone. That explained the missing address. Even numbers this side of the street, odd numbers across the street. I had a brain fart.
She grabbed my ass and dragged me in.
 
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ExpCharlee

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I was touring Toronto and had a session booked with a couple and got a surprise period that morning. It was pretty early. I rushed out to find a drug store where I could buy some makeup sponges (yeah, you can't really feel them when we have them in, surprise motherfuckers!) but NOTHING WAS OPEN. I was running around with toilet paper jammed in my vulva trying to find an open fucking drug store SOMEWHERE ANYWHERE while furiously texting the couple saying something had come up and I had to meet them later. IT WAS AWFUL lol
 

Number17

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Dec 24, 2019
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I was touring Toronto and had a session booked with a couple and got a surprise period that morning. It was pretty early. I rushed out to find a drug store where I could buy some makeup sponges (yeah, you can't really feel them when we have them in, surprise motherfuckers!) but NOTHING WAS OPEN. I was running around with toilet paper jammed in my vulva trying to find an open fucking drug store SOMEWHERE ANYWHERE while furiously texting the couple saying something had come up and I had to meet them later. IT WAS AWFUL lol
Did you end up finding the sponges and how late were you for the appointment?
How the hell did you fish them out after sex? I assume it would be pushed way in there after the FS. I’m just curious.
 

take8easy

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Jul 27, 2014
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1. I picked up a bag of something in a store and started to walk towards the cashier. I also made a stop or two in other aisles on the way. I noticed that people were looking at me funny. By the time I got to the cashier I realized, the bag had a hole at the bottom and I had been leaving a streak of the powdery content behind me thru aisles!
2. One SP swung her leg around my head to be in 69 but her toe nail left a cut on side of my face.
3. Left an ATF without paying but thankfully I realized it while I was still waiting for the elevator so I quickly ran back and gave her the money.
4. I have left my (very cheap, luckily) sun glasses at an incall. But she kept them till I saw her the next time. I left my brand new blue umbrella when I went to see one of the WCA girls. I did return to see another of their girls, but they sent me to another incall. :)
5. An SP let me cum in her mouth. She was a regular that I can be very kinky so she quickly got up, crawled up to me and started to kiss me. I am not a fan of my own cum so I almost threw up!! We would laugh about it in every session after that.

I am sure there are many more but this is it for now.
 
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ExpCharlee

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Did you end up finding the sponges and how late were you for the appointment?
How the hell did you fish them out after sex? I assume it would be pushed way in there after the FS. I’m just curious.
I did! We had to push it an HOUR. Luckily they were fine wth it as they had no other plans that day.

We fish them out... with difficulty. Especially if we have nails. But often bearing down as if pooping helps push them down so we can grab em 😂 #tricksofthetrade
 

FreeG

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Dec 25, 2015
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I wear my smart watch during appointments. It’s JUST IN CASE I get an emergency text that I better respond to and also so I can discretely check the time to make sure I grab a shower, etc.

It’s usually on mute but one time, in the middle of much excitement, I hear this voice “Starting Run”.

My watch’s Strava had started! I almost (ALMOST!) just let it go to track the activity, then realized that posting an activity mid-day, in the middle of the city MIGHT be hard to explain! :-O lol

quickly paused our activity to stop the Strava activity, and much laughter ensued after!
 
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take8easy

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Jul 27, 2014
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This is a bit of a long story so I will just keep it short. I went to see an SP in a high-rise a while ago. I got buzzed in but one of the two elevators was not working!! So it took at least 15 minutes for my turn. Someone else got in the elevator as well. To my disappointment, I could not press the SP's floor because the smart elevators allow only certain time for the visitor to get buzzed in and then take the elevator. Luckily the other person in the elevator was just going a floor below the SPs so I got out there thinking that I could just walk up the stairs. Guess what, I did get in the stairs but could not open the door on my floor because one can not do that without the key. I went down to the the floor that I had arrived at and guess what, that door would not open either. Luckily, she saw my texts, came down and got me out of there. It was like a thriller movie scene. :)
 
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masterpoonhunter

"Marriage should be a renewable contract"
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This is a bit of a long story so I will just keep it short. I went to see an SP in a high-rise a while ago. I got buzzed in but one of the two elevators was not working!! So it took at least 15 minutes for my turn. Someone else got in the elevator as well. To my disappointment, I could not press the SP's floor because the smart elevators allow only certain time for the visitor to get buzzed in and then take the elevator. Luckily the other person in the elevator was just going a floor below the SPs so I got out there thinking that I could just walk up the stairs. Guess what, I did get in the stairs but could not open the door on my floor because one can not do that without the key. I went down to the the floor that I had arrived at and guess what, that door would not open either. Luckily, she saw my texts, came down and got me out of there. It was like a thriller movie scene. :)
Have been in the same situation before and now, before I open any stairway door, I check to make sure I can get back in. The worst though is when you set off the door alarms. Ends up in quite the adrenaline rush.
 

justwannahavefun

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Mar 17, 2018
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This is a bit of a long story so I will just keep it short. I went to see an SP in a high-rise a while ago. I got buzzed in but one of the two elevators was not working!! So it took at least 15 minutes for my turn. Someone else got in the elevator as well. To my disappointment, I could not press the SP's floor because the smart elevators allow only certain time for the visitor to get buzzed in and then take the elevator. Luckily the other person in the elevator was just going a floor below the SPs so I got out there thinking that I could just walk up the stairs. Guess what, I did get in the stairs but could not open the door on my floor because one can not do that without the key. I went down to the the floor that I had arrived at and guess what, that door would not open either. Luckily, she saw my texts, came down and got me out of there. It was like a thriller movie scene. :)
I had the exact same thing happen except that the cell service was next to nothing. I spent 20 minutes going up and down stairs until the cell service was enough that the lady was finally able to help. Needless to say, I needed a rest once inside her place.
 
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take8easy

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I had the exact same thing happen except that the cell service was next to nothing. I spent 20 minutes going up and down stairs until the cell service was enough that the lady was finally able to help. Needless to say, I needed a rest once inside her place.
Now that you brought it up, I had the same thing happen to us as well!! Not just that, initially, I had contacted her via email and my poon phone has no data plan so I had to text her and luckily she checked her phone!!
 
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rlock

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May 20, 2015
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1. One time I had to piss really bad. But it wasn't time for my appointment yet, I was maybe 20 minutes early and didn't want to head over. So I go to International Village mall to piss, but the downstairs washroom has a cop and security guard dealing with an addict outside the washroom. The security guard nodded for me to move on as I wouldn't be able to use it. I go upstairs to the ones by the food court and the men's washroom is closed for cleaning. I was literally about to burst so I just went into a stall in the women's washroom, and of course they had like 15 stalls. After I do my business I had to wait as two other women went in and I wanted to exit with no confrontations. This was back in 2017 so the whole washrooms are for everyone wasn't a thing yet
I've had this problem too at malls and such. Pro-tip: handicapped washrooms are any-gender and usually not occupied. It may seem a bit ruthless, but believe me it's better than "containment failure". Just don't go #2 there.
 

rlock

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May 20, 2015
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I was on Alberni, about half a block from my 2 hours appointment with a very glorious visiting lady.
As I'm walking down the street to the building, I run into an old friend, who I haven't seen in years, so he wants to get chatty ... and also wondering what I'm doing downtown. Had to give a vague answer, and also clock-watch the convo so that I would not be too late and blow the session entirely. (LOL if he only knew what awaited me, he'd have graciously shut right up.)

In some higher-security buildings, I've been locked in stairwells or out of elevators that don't seem to work unless you sprint to the damn thing once buzzed in. In those taller buildings I've had elevator rides that took so long because of other people, the SP almost thought I had gone missing or ghosted her.

Weirdest was that for seeing one lady in Burnaby, the intercom didn't work, so she tossed her building keys off the balcony and I had to catch them in order to get in.

Once had booked a duo near the Stadium and for whatever reason, the communication was sparse, so even though I was on time, the ladies took my lack of communication on the day prior to appointment to mean I had no-showed them. (Though they also never asked if I was still on for the day.) When I texted to say I had arrived, they had just left the building and had to come back. (I guess it's also lucky they didn't block my number, because then I'd have never been able to tell them I was there.)
 

CapnMaynards

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Aug 18, 2017
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It's not really a specific incident. I just cannot, for the life of me, fuck. Oh sure I can lay on my back and get ridden, but as soon as I take an active role I last a few seconds before I break down laughing at how stupid I must look, and then my dick gets soft.

Thankfully I've always been able to explain myself, but more and more I'm leaning towards non-FS sessions because why bother?
 

l00min

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Mar 12, 2015
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A few years back, I was reconnecting with one of my ATF as she comes in and out of Vancouver. She was hosting out of her friend’s place and I met up with her after a work dinner.

Things got pretty heated in the bedroom as it was the first time we had seen each other in months. We we were at it like bunnies, and then crack! We broke one of the legs of the bed. That was not the worst part, I had put my clothes on the night stand and we knocked over some drinks right onto my clothes. It was thankfully not red wine.

I had to stay and hang out as she kindly washed dried my stuff. We laughed about the whole thing, and got time to catch up on her travels.
 
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masterpoonhunter

"Marriage should be a renewable contract"
Sep 15, 2019
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It's not really a specific incident. I just cannot, for the life of me, fuck. Oh sure I can lay on my back and get ridden, but as soon as I take an active role I last a few seconds before I break down laughing at how stupid I must look, and then my dick gets soft.

Thankfully I've always been able to explain myself, but more and more I'm leaning towards non-FS sessions because why bother?
I had to read this 3-4 times before I thought WHAT?
Friend, there is not that much science to it. Really. You get that bagged thing into that very nice warm slippery place and you start moving. You do NOT look stupid. You are a fucking man whore, fucking that very beautiful vag. You gyrate, thrust and do it again and again, and you will find that beautiful warm vag will start to respond to your manly man-ness and you, you fucking stud, will be rewarded with a very nice pop.
See. It's easy. Take it from me.
 

BrSpBoardID

Member
Dec 1, 2015
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I wear my smart watch during appointments. It’s JUST IN CASE I get an emergency text that I better respond to and also so I can discretely check the time to make sure I grab a shower, etc.

It’s usually on mute but one time, in the middle of much excitement, I hear this voice “Starting Run”.

My watch’s Strava had started! I almost (ALMOST!) just let it go to track the activity, then realized that posting an activity mid-day, in the middle of the city MIGHT be hard to explain! :-O lol

quickly paused our activity to stop the Strava activity, and much laughter ensued after!
lol - I had exactly the same thing happen to me! Big buttons on my older Garmin watch - easy to press! Now I try and remember to take it off....
 
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ExpCharlee

NOW ACCEPTING GIFT CARD DEPOSITS
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www.experiencecharlee.com
It's not really a specific incident. I just cannot, for the life of me, fuck. Oh sure I can lay on my back and get ridden, but as soon as I take an active role I last a few seconds before I break down laughing at how stupid I must look, and then my dick gets soft.

Thankfully I've always been able to explain myself, but more and more I'm leaning towards non-FS sessions because why bother?
This is really cute and silly but also surely getting ridden is worth it?
 
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