Farting in Public

[agentwhite]

I am getting sick and tired about the amount of people that seem to believe public flatulence is appropriate in today's society. I cannot even count the numerous mount of times that I've taken a stroll on Robson and have heard an individual walk and squeeze out wet farts as they walk to their beat. Quite disgusting. I've even witnessed people farting among a group of people waiting at an intersection not realizing the loud sound as their headphones made them unaware of the noise.

What's next? Letting a loud one rip in the middle of an elevator ride?

 

[87112]

Add not washing your hands after going to the restroom. I notice that a ton at airports, people rushing to whatever they need to go, I get it but how about a polite sprinkle of water OK?

 

[Caramel]

let me guess..............you were watching some sexy women walking around or infront of you, checking them out, dreaming about doing nasty things in your mind and having a grand ol' time, and suddenly.....there it was, party pooper mood killer, a big loud and stinky FART!

 

[monk001]

My personal favorite.....people somehow thinking that bus transit/skytrain is the perfect time to trim your nails......toe nails.

 

[Sonny]

and squeeze out wet farts

Begs the question... how do you know they are "wet" farts? LOL!

 

[vancity_cowboy]

reminds me of a time in my youth when i was playing soccer the day after a trip to bellingham for an evening of overindulgence in american beer and pizza. partway through the game i just had to cut one, so i let loose this (thankfully) silent bomb

as the breeze slowly carried the aroma up the field, one by one the players stopped playing as they looked around to see where the stench was coming from... eventually the game stopped until the breeze carried in fresher air

now THAT was a fart!!

:high5:

 

[badbadboy]

Why is it on airplanes these jerks think they can get away with dropping bombs? I'm always stuck near farters. Two weeks ago I just looked at the guy and said "really, you did that here?" #sheepishgrin

Worse are people who douse themslves with perfume or cologne that's so strong it gives me a migraine. So inconsiderate.

 

[helloim]

Why don't you guys take a chill pill. Farting is a natural physical action to propel gas from your intestines to the outside. Are people supposed to cater to others and hold in their processed gas in their rectal area, just so you can have 5 more seconds of olfactory peace?

 

[deathreborn]

alot of the time i have dead people around me, so i just blame the smell on them.

 

[westwoody]

Just saw a guy screaming at a TSA agent because she won't let him board with three big bottles of shampoo, conditioner and body wash.
Everyone knows the rules, they have been in effect for years, there are signs all over the airport and charts on your ticket.
Passenger/asshole thinks they should make an exception for him because the bottles are gifts.
Fuck everyone who thinks they are special.

 

[uncleg]

......ever consider it might be a fellow perbite commenting on your latest "review" of some unknown "treasure.".....ound:

 

[Linden]

Best one I heard was at the Auto Show, a friend of a friend purposely dropped a scone in a Benz SUV and then enjoyed the quick entry / exit of the next few lookie lous.

 

[FreeG]

Worse are people who douse themslves with perfume or cologne that's so strong it gives me a migraine. So inconsiderate.

I agree - its the equivalent of a continuous fart following them around. And when its strong enough, it then gets on YOUR clothes, which leads to some further 'splaining when you get home. "Honest honey, I was in an elevator with a woman who had on TONS of perfume!" One just needs a dab or two to add a pleasant scent when you're nearby (or cover up BO, I suppose? I think that was the genesis of perfume/cologne)

 

[Karmen Krush]

Reminds me of when the bars in Calgary first went smoke free. All you could smell were fart sand stale beer. I wanted the smoke back lol.
You know some people pay top dollar for farts these days? Some crazy fetishes out there hahah.

 

[sushiman]

A little humour...

A lady walks into a Lexus dealership. She browses around,
then spots the perfect car and walks over to inspect it. As
she bends to feel the fine leather upholstery, a loud fart
escapes her. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously
to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a
sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns back,
and there standing next to her is a salesman.

"Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"

Very uncomfortably she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this
lovely vehicle?"

He answers, "Madame, if you farted just touching it, you are
going to shit when you hear the price."

 

[vancity_cowboy]

good to see you haven't lost your repertoir of excellent jokes, sushiman... ound: ound: ound:

 

[badbadboy]

Then again, there are those who attest smelling farts has medicinal qualities.

I'm amazed at what universities spend their research dollars (in this case UK Pounds) on.

http://theweek.com/speedreads/450160/study-smelling-farts-may-good-health

 

[Billiam]

I agree - its the equivalent of a continuous fart following them around. And when its strong enough, it then gets on YOUR clothes, which leads to some further 'splaining when you get home. "Honest honey, I was in an elevator with a woman who had on TONS of perfume!" One just needs a dab or two to add a pleasant scent when you're nearby (or cover up BO, I suppose? I think that was the genesis of perfume/cologne)

A little ironic as, to my understanding, the two are, indeed, connected. In Victorian England, you may recall seeing depictions of aristocratic types with hankies always in hand. These were soaked in perfume to mask the stench of the open sewers and urine/feces flowing through the streets. And you thought farts smelled bad.

 

[Elle Diablo]

hahahaha ... reminds of this one time i was on the bus and you know how you know to see regular people from around the 'hood, so there's this guy ('mentally challenged') ... on the not so packed bus ... standing right in front of me (a little too close) ... backside to my front side ... him standing, me sitting ... FART!! ... me shell-shocked, it passes (pun) ... couldn't stop myself from laughing!

Why meeeee!?

 

[ddcanz]

I'll take a public fart any day over a gaggle of screaming brats running amok and unsupervised by their distracted or CGAF parents.
And to an earlier comment- tone done on the perfume/cologne as well! Especially when attempting to mask BO- what a putrid stench- smells like a rancid, old- ahem, pardon my French- whore.