Do you respond to sex you are paying for differently than sex you have with a nonpro?

[Alix Turner]

I can see this quickly breaking down in to semantics of things like "with dinners and gifts its all sex you pay for" because this question is about subtle emotional and perspective differences, which aren't the most popular subjects of discussion on perb..

but for those of you willing to try to share their insight with me, I was wondering

For the guys out there, do you find that you judge the sex with an sp differently than you would with a girl you were dating? Are your expectations different with an sp or do you find yourself in the same state of mind and excited by the same things in both circumstances.

If you do feel differently, do you find that it is because there is money involved and as in any situation where you are a paying customer you associate a certain expectation of service/quality/experience with the amount you are paying and it's natural to evaluate the experience in that "am I happy with what I got for the price I paid?" mindset

or perhaps when you are with a girlfriend you prefer to focus on having really good sex (for her) which you also enjoy.. but you see the service provider and are able to relish in enjoying a specific fantasy that you know she is going to be eager to fulfill and be able to enjoy..


or.. i don't know, something like that. I just wonder if it's a different head space for some of you and if so.. what it is like

cheers!

 

[PuntMeister]

Of course, the difference is the sure thing. Other than that, an sp should be treated as a lady just as anyone would treat an SO. Any opportunity for romance or foreplay make the session all the more satisfying, paid or not. My fondest SP sessions included dinner, whitty banter, and having my balls squeezed under the table of one of those tepan-yaki (SP?) steakhouses, followed by really great mutual jungle fucking. Interestingly, same applies to my favourite SO sessions. lol. For me, I try to make the transactional aspect irrelevant, and open myself up to total immersion in the truest context of a GFE.
I will not be satisfied unless we are both hot, spent, and satisfied. Great when it happens. Seek it always.

-Punt.

I can see this quickly breaking down in to semantics of things like "with dinners and gifts its all sex you pay for" because this question is about subtle emotional and perspective differences, which aren't the most popular subjects of discussion on perb..

but for those of you willing to try to share their insight with me, I was wondering

For the guys out there, do you find that you judge the sex with an sp differently than you would with a girl you were dating? Are your expectations different with an sp or do you find yourself in the same state of mind and excited by the same things in both circumstances.

If you do feel differently, do you find that it is because there is money involved and as in any situation where you are a paying customer you associate a certain expectation of service/quality/experience with the amount you are paying and it's natural to evaluate the experience in that "am I happy with what I got for the price I paid?" mindset

or perhaps when you are with a girlfriend you prefer to focus on having really good sex (for her) which you also enjoy.. but you see the service provider and are able to relish in enjoying a specific fantasy that you know she is going to be eager to fulfill and be able to enjoy..


or.. i don't know, something like that. I just wonder if it's a different head space for some of you and if so.. what it is like

cheers!

 

[Webster]

or perhaps when you are with a girlfriend you prefer to focus on having really good sex (for her) which you also enjoy.. but you see the service provider and are able to relish in enjoying a specific fantasy that you know she is going to be eager to fulfill and be able to enjoy..

This is closest for me. It's really fun to make your partner come, but not feeling that obligation brings a level of relaxation to what I'm doing that, who knows, maybe makes for a better fuck.

It's also a pretty important part of seeing an SP - for me anyway - that her body is open and available to strangers in a way the usual partner is ordinarily just not gonna go with. The SP is an object of sexual desire not just for me but for others, and sex with her is a connection to a larger world of lust.

The financial transaction's out of my mind as soon as it's dealt with.

 

[[Server Error]]

For me, the money aspect leaves my mind as soon as I set it down on the counter (and the thought never returns until after the session, and only if it's a really poor experience).

No matter the duration, SPs to me are my lovers, friends, fellow human travellers in the journey of life, and I treat them as such. And 99% of the time they kindly reciprocate. It takes a unique spirit with beauty and fortitude to be an SP par excellence who excels in her work and leads a balanced life and goes against the societal currents--this is extremely attractive to me. Compared to some of the non-SP women who like to play games, have a grand sense of entitlement, and think they are god's gifts to men, this elite group of SPs is the god-send.

It is no wonder that some of the SPs are the best women, either as friends or lovers, that I've ever met in my life. Whereas in my non-perb life, I can't seem to find such quality ladies easily. I do shower every day, so I am not too sure what's going on. lol

 

[hipdude]

I think most men treat the sex differently when they pay for it than when they don't. They probably behave differently as well.

What is amazing is those that do not treat it differently. What is even more amazing is the men who fall in love with the escort even as they must pay her for intimacy, and every time there is that intimacy, they must pay. What kind of a fool pays for love?

 

[johnjxxx]

These are my newbie impressions, but I think the answer is: "it depends"

1st time SP #1 experience: just a wild fun ride

2nd time SP #2: sensual but professional, like getting a great treatment at the spa, only with all the extras

3rd (4th, 5th, etc) all with the same girl #3: pure bliss, pure GF (forget about the "E")


My first two SPs were easier to enjoy simply as entertainment, like
going out to dinner or getting take-out, and easier to evaluate that way.

But No. 3 was/is like a home cooked meal, with us barefoot in the kitchen,
with me holding her hand from behind as we stir the risotto as it simmers and savour a glass of barolo...

To carry on the metaphor: #1 was the waitress, #2 was the chef, #3 we were cooking together

Very different experiences that affect you on different levels. If one is happy with, or only seeks the first two types of experiences,
or if I hadn't found this girl, I think I would have to say yes I would respond and judge it differently.

However, having crossed this threshold I think for me she erased the line between SPs and nonpros, so I don't see it as being different.

The real kicker was not knowing the degree to which #3 was even possible, and realizing only later it was what I was looking for.

 

[the old maxx50]

I not sure if i can say i a have had both .. My first sex was with Sp's.. and then one of the first 5 i saw . became a girl friend of some sort . I have to add mite it was probably a sugar daddy thing ..little did I know . Yes sex was different in the Girl friend situation . Of course that was before i knew it could be a lot better .

It was after that i saw other escorts and then i found that with those that i was more comfortable with the sex was better . and with most escorts i did 2 hrs .. not always sex .. ,one i think I did more picture taking then sex.. To day she is a friend that i have spent time with .. but only cuddle The nice part is , we can talk about any thing and i can still be a smart ass sometimes .. I would say that is part of what Girl friend is .. but may be not the girl friend you have sex with ... Sex some time is still that intimate place in a relations ship that two people can only go to if they love each other in an intimate and the sexual way .

I can definitely feel the difference .. with an escort i usually am seeing them to have fun , enjoy their company , have sex , the feel of another body , but i know it will be over in hour or two and there is no lingering ... With some I have managed to make it our moment But I have connection with them . they are willing to go on a GF experience . a drive , a walk on the the beach to a secluded spot.. and then some sex .. I can't say it is love making . because we won't be there all day . But it a gain is different then just having sex for the hour and then gone .. there is time for foreplay and with that one special person that fore play started hrs before with sexy texts.

I don't see having sex with any one as being different with an Sp or a girlfriend .. in the sense of .. how i perform or feel about the person .. I want to be with them and please them .... What i do fe is the need for speed to get to at the act . because they are not staying the night , or spending the day together.. I have to live just with a brief memory of the moment.
where o money come in it decides when i can see some one and for how long .. depending on how much i have to spare ,or not ...When money was not a problem there have been escort tat i saw 3 or more time a week .. I guess i was making my own GF.

I have experienced many different levels , but I always look for the woman that is going to be open to a friend ship even though i am willing to pay them for there time..Now these seem to be the girls i am comfortable with and would want as a girl friend .. ( mentioned in many threads before)

 

[AA_Train]

Absolutely. First off, in seeing an SP, there is already and expectation built up because there are advertisements and prior reviews to read. The money is also a factor, for a working class guy like me anyway. This is not a venture I can partake in whenever I feel like it, so I have to be fairly certain I am going to be able to have the experience I am looking for. With a non-pro, you don't know very much about that person, so there is more of a getting-to-know-you angle to the experience, especially at first.

Beyond that, it's not too different. I still treat them both like ladies and try to be attentive to their needs. I think the initial chemistry with an SP is probably better in most cases due to their ability to read people and be more intuitive with what they want. YMMV when it comes to chemistry but I think it is more likely to be instantanious. With a non-pro there is more of a learning curve but there is the potential of it going somewhere and to develop a deeper physical and emotional bond due to more intense and prolonged exposure to each other. With an SP it is probably better out of the gate but with a non-pro it probably gets better over time.

 

[bug321]

because the sp-client relationship is transactional at it's heart, even the best times can't compare to an organic experience. in hindsight the fact that you're "paying for love" can lay doubts on the authenticity of the encounter that don't exist with a nonpro.

having said that, i think the goal of a good sp (and client) are making sure in the moments of a good session there is as little difference as possible.

 

[[Server Error]]

I'm not going to be popular saying this but SE, I seriously think that you need to cultivate some friends that you do not have to pay to be your friends.

An SP will be your friend as long as you have the money to spend but try asking her to spend time with you without payment & they will quickly remind you that they are working.

If you do not believe that have a chat with the local Union Boss - Pillowtalk.

That does not mean that an SP cannot spend time with you off the clock but to expect it is naive & possibly impolite.

If you were to ever engage in a 'normal' relationship where you did not have to pay for the time of the girl I think you would discover that you can meet & cultivate a relationship that is equally rewarding.

Friendship & genuine affection from a woman should not come with a price tag SE.

You should find a woman who is willing to spend time & get to know you without handing her an envelope full of cash.

If you want sex without having to take her out to dinners or suffer through several dates before you finally get to blow yer load, then an SP is definitely a good choice.

I think I might not have expressed myself clearly, or that you might have taken liberty in extrapolating based on what I actually wrote. Yes, I might have tried to inject some emotions to make the post more exciting (and to elicit response/discussion, which I think worked ), but in no way does that mean I make emotional-based decisions or let emotions cloud my judgment.

I didn't mean to say that I only have SPs as friends; I meant to say the few SPs who have become friends (like you said, without money!) are amazing individuals.

Yes, of course, engaging women in 'normal' relationship can be equally rewarding (otherwise there won't be billions of men trying to do it). I don't think I implied otherwise.

You said, "Friendship and genuine affection from a woman should not come with a price tag." I totally agree, but I am not sure which part of my post gave the wrong impression? You might have thought that I confused 'paid companionship' and 'friendship', but I assure you I know the difference between the two

Thank you for your analysis, but it feels to me that it wasn't directed at my post at all. For instance, no where in my post did I even remotely make a connection to the word 'love', but it seems to be one of the central themes in your analysis.

p.s. As English is not my native language, if my usage of the term 'lovers' implies that I am in love, I shall correct myself and say that it simply refers to an SP and me who share/partake in the intimate activities that typical lovers do. I appreciate your misplaced concern for my not thinking straight and believing love can be bought--I assure you that is not the case. No worries

 

[Ms. Yoko Anna]

You were a pretty good lover to me, SE!
I believe we had physically and metaphysically an awesome time!

I personally think sex with clients are better than sex with non-business lover(s).
I thought: 1) limited time make both of us focus on sex 2) the fact the guy had to pay encourages him to give 100% to the session, and most importantly 3) I'm more active in sex.

Hahaha, it's kinda funny but I rearly "ride" on a guy for non-business sex as I want to relax myself too! Huh!

So, yes, I think some guys have different motivation, attitude, and expectation for paid sex, which makes our session better. Yay.

 

[Webster]

because the sp-client relationship is transactional at it's heart, even the best times can't compare to an organic experience. in hindsight the fact that you're "paying for love" can lay doubts on the authenticity of the encounter that don't exist with a nonpro.

Well, it depends on what you mean by "can't compare" I guess. I don't see an obstacle to having as great a time with an SP as I've ever had with a lover. I can take with good humour the possibility that I am gonna receive a little kindness that absent the payment I might not deserve: I mean, what the hell? It's SERVICE. I have been lucky enough to have encounters with some SPs who have been - on stage at least - just utterly wonderful people who were great at fucking and making me feel comfortable. It's not like one party doesn't know a transaction is going on and someone's being fooled: take it for what it is and it can be the greatest time in the bedroom you've ever had. Possibly not hers, but it's a cooperative game and in general happy people have fun times.

It's something of a weird mindset to think an SP might not be friendly absent the cash in any case: what would make them different from any other professional I can share a joke with? (Yes yes, the joke is between my legs and so forth.) Do you worry that anyone you ever see who is working in any capacity might be smiling insincerely because it's work?

Thanks, ladies, for doing what you do.