Dating SPs

[dasECAWdasdasx]

Interesting numbers did you get that from www.madeupstats.com? My experience (both personal and observation of friends) indicates that it is generally the person dating the escort looking to have their financial means taken care of, which is probably where the negative stereotype of “her pimp boyfriend” comes from.

Even in civilian relationships there is a high possibility of being scammed or leaving the relationship with less than what you had going in. That said, I am not advocating a real relationship with a currently active SP, I believe very few people can handle that without ending up in a place of insecurity and jealousy.

Xo
Katey

oh my apologies. i meant 100%, some providers are just better at making up more believable excuses

 

[Toddbertacchi]

Wow, even though they slandered the honesty and moral character of all sex workers you display limitless empathy - that is a very powerful, constructive and classy response!

Personally I get tired of hearing sex workers slammed and stigmatized as being dishonest scammers. My experience after a decade of purchasing sex is that sex workers are as varied as everyone else and the fact that they do sex work does not define them. And I would go further to say some of my most honest relationships have been with sex workers.

It’s unfortunate mindset but hopefully it will change. I have met some amazing people through this, and they have made a positive impact on my well being.

 

[PierreCoeur]

Sex workers are not having sex out of impulsive promiscuity. They're working.

Those who assume otherwise are fools to paint every working girl with same brush. Me on the otherhand, as a consumer of these services, do consider myself promiscuous. My resistance is futile.

 

[DATYer]

Nice thread, so enjoyable to read! :eyebrows:

 

[Miss Hunter]

99.9% of the time they're trying to scam more money out of you

oh my apologies. i meant 100%, some providers are just better at making up more believable excuses

I’m curious about the roots of your perspective. Sure not everyone we get close to in life has our best interests at heart, but 99.9% - 100%... That’s quite an extreme view.

 

[g eazy]

I didnt end up taking the offer. My ego wouldnt let me do it. Although it wouldve been nice to be a sugar baby. LOL. Either way, it didnt work out because she actually ended up getting too insecure with what i was doing.

I guess it works both ways, you as a guy knowing your girl is with other dudes, and your girl knowing you could hop onto LL and do the same thing with another SP.

To this day I still feel like she had an ulterior motive. Our communication wasnt great. But she told me she loved me every chance she could. Something felt off.

I'm curious as to what you think made you special to her as opposed to all the other guys who saw her regularly.. assuming there are others that she could also theoretically date. Also, what ulterior motive do you think she had? Just wanting citizenship?

I'm more inclined to think that generally speaking, SPs would be more insecure about their partners partaking in the hobby secretly rather than the other way around since it's easier to hide as a guy... so I wouldn't say the outcome was surprising either

 

[poonerboi]

99.9% of the time they're trying to scam more money out of you

It goes the other way too! My ATF and I actually had a few lengthy discussions about how many of us will profess to have feelings to scam the SP for free services and/or intimacies not "on the menu".

 

[Jjjj1111]

The outcome definitely was not surprising. As for what i “felt made me special”.. i honestly have no idea. I think thats why i felt she had an ulterior motive. The whole time i kept thinking “why me?”. I mean these girls have tons of guys who are obviously attracted to them, so for her to be doing this for me just made me second guess myself.

As for the ulterior motive, yes, the citizenship.

 

[Toddbertacchi]

Ultimately this topic boils down to 2 things. Courage and (in)securities. Required of both parties in order to make things work. Courage to love, and security within oneself, both her and yourself. As I've seen over the years, the SP, although sees many guys a day, is probably more insecure in putting her real self out there to be with you as she's seen so many examples of how men can be. You on the other hand just cant get over the fact that she's 'working'. Its not easy but its what it boils down to. And its not specific to a relationship with an Sp, its relationships in general.

If u love her, then see beyond her work, and love her. Make the distinction between her and her chosen line of work. At the end of the day is the issue with her, or yourself? See with your heart, not with your brain.

Look at it this way, this butterfly chose to be in your garden. She could easily fly over to the next or the next, other gardens with maybe more plentiful and fragrant flowers where she may reap bigger rewards. Yet she chose your garden to dwell in. Believe in that, work on improving your garden to make her stay the best it possibly can be. Nurture your garden, and give her the best you possibly can. Plant more flowers, grow greener grass. If at the end of the day this butterfly decides to move on, you'll at least have a greener bounty for the next butterfly to come along. Nurture and be the best you, the rest you leave to time.

Usually we are our own worst enemies in this situation. But work on yourself, be the best you for her, and see her for her, not her work.

You have explained it so beautifully. Love the butterfly and garden analogy.

 

[mrnaveen]

I dated a few many years ago.

The first one I ended up living with for one year... it was a disaster as I learned when together she was a "closet" functional alcoholic. She hid alcohol in secret hiding places... I don't know why as I was totally cool with having a few now and then.

The second one started as a client... and then a few months later we went on a vacation together... paid her way but the time was no charge. It eventually went into a 100% friendship with benefits. I wanted a committed relationship but she wanted to see other men/woman.. she didn't want a commitment. It eventually grew into a distant friendship and I moved on. I have alot of respect for this woman because she never lied.... wish things had been different.

Now days I don't seek relationships with women in this industry beyond a business friendship. It's just easier that way.

 

[DHB]

As to "why me" I think it may be looking at things the wrong way in that we are thinking we are not in the same league as the SP in the Physically Attractive department.

Not everyone is turned on by looks. And what one person may think is hot another may not find attractive at all. We have all seen couples where we think one is way out of the others league but they appear to be in love.

SP's who enjoy their work are probably not people that care as much about looks. If they did place a high value on looks they probably would not enjoy having sex with most of their customers and the ones that are our ATFs usually seem to be having a great time.

So if a SP has chemistry with your personality and is not driven by physical attractiveness then you may have found a potential soul mate. And it is not easy for SPs to find people to have relationships where they do not have to hide what they do.

I have had several relationships with SPs although none that turned into a girlfriend. But ones where we did things together that were things that friends do together, like go out to eat or go to movies or even trips together that were not paid time together. So if you happen to be someone the SP likes to hang out with and you have fun together why not?

 

[Bubblebishop]

In Thailand, I dated for awhile 2 girls (SP) at different time but at the end it did fail. They are sweet, but it is just too complicated and they are pennyless. I am still friend with one.

 

[Sphubby]

Hey all

I am curious to see if anyone here has ever dated an SP. and by dated I mean not paying for her time. (Well i guess dating in some ways this is still true).

I have a story to share, but wanted to see if anyone has ever been in the same boat.

Disagree.

Depends on your maturity. I don't know many SPs who don't have a boyfriend, most do.

Like any other human, many get married. Some continue to work after.

The stigma is rediculous, in my opinion. Sex is just sex.. it's nothing.

The outcome, long term, is generally unfavorable.

Just had our 11th anniversary last week. For us our relationship is stronger that is every has been. Doesn't work for everyone but for us it does.

Being insecure is not an option if you want it to work. Trust is mandatory.

We have been together twice as long as she has been a SP so it was a joint decision as is everything we do and she is currently an active SP.

Its all what you make of it. As AF said, sex is just sex.

 

[Sphubby]

Just curious, how does the financial situation look like for the both of you? Curious since SP’s make a solid amount of straight cash income, do you guys ever have disagreements over the bills etc.

Interesting. We have many vanilla friends that have commented to us about “her money his money”. This is foreign idea to us. We have our money. I have a full time job and pay all the normal bills and everything else her earnings are used.

There has never been a discussion of who pays what. Like everything else in our marriage we both contribute and share as needed.

 

[TOAO]

Interesting. We have many vanilla friends that have commented to us about “her money his money”. This is foreign idea to us. We have our money. I have a full time job and pay all the normal bills and everything else her earnings are used.

There has never been a discussion of who pays what. Like everything else in our marriage we both contribute and share as needed.

In other words, no 50/50. More like 100/100

 

[marklasco]

There is this one SP that I always see at least once a month since August of last year, always 2 hours every time. I think we are getting closer on a personal level each time but you know how guys are, you give us a little bit of affection and compliment, we tend to remember that even after a couple of years. Shit, a girl complimented my hair back in HS, I still remember it now that i'm in my 30’s lol. My point is, I’m starting to like this SP and I really want to ask her out but don’t wanna ruin what we have right now lol. But for all I know, it’s all in my imagination. pretty sure is haha

 

[Kikoolol]

My rule is that it's all in your imagination until she explicitly takes initiative.

 

[dasECAWdasdasx]

Don't take it too personally. I think men should be very wary of entering relationships with providers lest they become simps. They're business people first and foremost. Stop mistaking their advances and compliments for attraction or something long term unless it's some sugaring/FWB arrangement.

 

[NEWISHADVENTURE]

I've dated a sp 2 times and both times by freak chance. both gave me the I have something to tell you. then told me what they actually did for a living. me ok. let's just see where this goes.
the relationships both died off. but were very mutual break ups. still both very good friends and speak often.
really if it wasnt for this I probably wouldnt be in this hobbies

 

[Miss Hunter]

Don't take it too personally. I think men should be very wary of entering relationships with prostitutes lest they become simps. They're business people first and foremost. Stop mistaking their advances and compliments for attraction or something long term unless it's some sugaring/FWB arrangement.

Sure because all we care about is money

From the other perspective... SPs should be wary about getting emotionally attatched to pooners lest you wind up on an emotional fucking roller coaster.