Thought I’d post this on the whole topic of dating an escort & the experience. I can’t say this is accurate as there is no 1 size fits all but it might shed some light on things for those considering it.
Stage 1: Introduction. You may meet the person in whatever way you normally meet people or perhaps you’ve seen her. You may hit it off and take it outside of normal protocol & socialize and become friends. This will probably be “light weight”. It’ll likely be a lot of fun and pretty casual.
Stage 2: Emotional Attachment. This is the stage when all hell will break loose. Your SP “date” will have spent a whole bunch of time building walls around her. Walls that make her feel safe, walls that guard her emotions, walls that make her forget her job sometimes. And you’ll come along with your Thor hammer and knock a giant hole in it. Suddenly, this in control woman will realize she’s not in control, her emotions are. And then, she will freak out. She will push you away, she’ll be mean, she’ll question everything you do. What are your motivations? She has a real and legit reason to do this and fear for her safety and for her emotional state. You will have a monster emotional meltdown. Mine had hers when I brought her to my house to eat dinner. It started with silence then into anger then into emotional explosion. I was everything horrible. It then morphed into why would I want a ‘dirty fucking whore’, then a slammed bedroom door and me wondering what in the hell have I did. The next day it was just tears. These up and downs will be common and they will for you too. You’ll come to the realization you are emotionally attached to a sex worker. You’ll question yourself. You’ll discover your own stereotypes that exist. You’ll question you’re motivations. This will happen repeatedly. The emotional highs and lows. They’ll be more than 1 night you won’t get much sleep. And they’ll also be emotional highs, the kind of “great times” thing. It is highly probable you will not make it through this stage and go your separate ways.
Stage 3: Clarity then Calm. If you make the above and survive, you’ll get to this stage. At this stage you’ll accept each other. You’ll accept her job. And it’s very likely at this stage she’ll trust you enough to walk away from that job . See that couple in IKEA shopping for a couch holding hands? That’s you. The major difference I found was that she was the first woman who appreciated me and didn’t see me as an ATM machine. She’ll share her past with you knowing you can likely accept it.. Her secrets will come out. And it’s likely you won’t be shocked. And, the stigma attached will likely wane or disappear. Your SO’s past will become insignificant. It will not define her. She won’t be an escort, she’ll be your woman.
Sidenotes:
Bad Dates: Your SO will have bad dates. Rough, aggressive and degrading men. She may react quietly, she may sit on your lap and cry or she may be unapproachable. Nothing will challenge you more than this. You’re first reaction will be to take a bat and beat the motherfuckers skull into powder. But you won’t. You’ll be there for her even if all you do is sit there while she cries on your shoulder.
Call Girl to Civilian worker: Huge challenge. Coming from a job where if you want money you turn on your phone. Or if you want a day off you shut it off. A civilian job will mean being like the rest of us, waking up, going to work, and building a career. And, she’ll feel the sting of “business” perhaps for the first time. The nasty, ugly reality that is the corporate world. She may not be prepared for it at all. I had an incident where things just went south for no fault of her own and she called me bawling telling me to come home. And I did. But there is a good part. You may watch her graduate from college. A big beaming smile of accomplishment. And you’ll see her get a civilian job & maybe a career. And along the way she’ll grow into that career and make something of herself in her field. It’ll be a moment you’re incredibly proud. You’ll understand this woman has a strength in her you can’t even begin to fathom.
And along this journey you’ll have to support her emotionally and financially. It will be difficult and sometimes you’ll wonder why you bother. She’ll feel the same way. She’ll consider going back to the trade. But she’ll find her way. I came home one day and found about a half dozen packaged garbage bags in the foyer. I was told to “take these to the dump please”. Inside was all her sex worker gear probably 10’s of thousands of dollars worth of it. I knew it signaled the end of that era of her life.
If I ever dated anyone it would have to be a female sp who I know is sincere. At this point I would not consider dating a man unless I was Head over heels in love and he could provide for a family and wanted to have kids or something, then he would be someone I already know well so we could even skip the dating scene all together, that would be the only situation I would consider making a commitment with someone. Other than that, dating is a total WOT and energy and I have to stick with those who are sincere and support me. I just want to give time and care for those who care about me as well, that's what it comes down to for me. People who dislike my profession are not my people anyways, so any guys out there talking trash about this profession or working girls are irrelevant to my life. That being said, yes, this can be addictive, so watch yourselves guys, set a budget and stick to it. Seeing sp's can be easier than dating so I understand the convenience of it, as long as you don't max out your credit cards all the time and are responsible with your "hobby"
