Dangerous client-heads up ladies

[Small pleasures]

Fuck you , you uneducated peon, my first sentence was I was glad she was ok. Quit trying to wiggle your way out of being so confused you don't know what to think. And don't try your domme ways with me because I'm nobodies slave least of all yours.Who the fuck do you think you are to decide who is wellcome and who is not. That really shows narrow mindness if any statement does. Remember what I said about anger management, you sure could use some

Mick_eight, my dear, you can not win here. It's like walking into a party with a bunch of people who have known each other for years. Many of us have known each other and have played with each and trust each other more than most people we know.

We are not hypothasizing. We are speaking from years of hard core experience.

Your language and attitude have made it clear that you don't understand or respect people who deviate from the norm. I appreciate your well-wishes and I hope some day you change your perspective on people who have interests in BDSM. It does not primarily attract people who are mentally flawed. It really doesn't. In fact, it seems to attract people who are more personally aware, accepting and happy than most of the people I've met in my vanilla life.

If you would like to dip your toe in...sample this 'wild' side, I specialize in beginners. It may not be for you, but you don't know unless you try.

If you're really sure it's not for you and you are pretty damn certain that people who are into BDSM are freaks and you won't be convinced otherwise, please fuck right off and don't imput in the BDSM section. We're a pretty fun-loving, positive group here and don't take kindly to negativity and judgement. And yes, I am one to say you're not welcome here because I've worked very hard to make this the kind of place that kinksters feel welcome and unjudged. The 'lounge' part of Perb is for all, the BDSM section is for people into BDSM: duh.

Peace,
Mistress T
xo

 

[DominaPandora]

Glad to hear that you are OK. Maybe its just me but my guess is that anyone who gets a thrill from being beat, is not dealing from a full deck anyways. I would think that anyone of your clients may at some time lash out in a violent manner. After all you are not dealing with mentally stable people.

Actually, many enjoy being beat for many different reasons and these people come from all spans of life. Many are highly intelligent people, well adjusted people, in high power positions. They are always in control and therefore need the relaxation of being totally out of control and "put in their place". Some may have gone through situations when younger that have lead to a need for pain to bring stability to their lives. This is a much better way to go about it than cutting or a multitude of other self destructive control maneuvers. To some, pain is an intense pleasure, it does affect the same centers.

Yes, some have issues and some may not deal with a full deck but as has been pointed out, that is the case in any circumstance. I've seen flashbacks occur as well to unknown childhood occurances, which can happen quite suddenly during a session. The BDSM playground is certainly full of perils. Not because only people with issues get involved with BDSM, but because everyone has some issue and when you deal in fantasies, pain, pleasure and pushing the limits... things can happen. And, if you do get an a-hole, you have many neat toys about in hands reach, which makes it even more frightening.

This section tends to be a little more respectful in posting in general for the most part than other sections and I think that's why others jumped on you. It's actually very common for fetishists to stick together as there is alot of misunderstanding and judging in general that most of us deal with day to day. Comments like yours, though it may not have been made with any ill intent, can certainly raise the ire. It's much like walking into the ghetto and commenting that most ghetto people are "insert whatever". It doesn't usually get a very good response. I do understand your comments though from a general perspective. A client lashing out is always a fear.

Miss T,

I do not know you but am very glad to hear that you are ok and took the steps to assist other Doms in hopefully avoiding this same experience. Going to the police can be very hard and the feeling of being looked at as a freak while you're giving the report is worrying, wondering if they'll take it as seriously as they might of had you not been who you are. Your actions in this matter, I think, speak highly about who you are as a person.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[Small pleasures]

One more thing Mick-eight...you have managed to start a shit storm in MY thread warning other ladies about a potentially dangerous client. Also a thread expressing my feelings about being scared to death last night and then my feelings about dealing with the police today.

Have a little respect and keep quiet instead of defending your honor in this thread and keeping the drama going.

It's like starting a fist fight at a funeral over a sports disagreement. Bad taste. Bad form.

 

[Kittie]

I am happy you are allright. It is scary how fast (in all situations) things can go from ok, to very very not ok.

stay safe

XXXKittie~

 

[mick_eight]

As I said I never read BDSM threads I only did because of the warning in the title on the new posts. I also said it was only just me thinking that. I was then jumped on as is I was looking down on your lifestyle . Not at all. I was concerned with your well being. Aeiyah took my concern and reacted in anger and called me names and flew off the handle. I treat people the way they treat me . There was no malice in my post, and to be jumped on was not taken kindly. Your response was to the point and was nicely written . Thank you for that. Now please enjoy whatever you desire, its fine with me. I don't think anyone here is a freak and never said that. Having said that, I still think that the BDSM lifestyle would lure more people with anger problems then the mainstream styles would, hence the warnings

 

[Small pleasures]

A. I only did because of the warning in the title on the new posts.

B. I was then jumped on as is I was looking down on your lifestyle . Not at all. I was concerned with your well being. I still think that the BDSM lifestyle would lure more people with anger problems then the mainstream styles would, hence the warnings

A. regarding the warning, unless you are a lady, the warning wasn't for you. No need to read it, REALLY no need to comment on it.

B. I'll expand on my initial reaction: BULLSHIT. Mick_eight, you have no fucking clue what you're talking about. You are sharing your completely uninformed, uneducated, unresearched opinion on a topic you know nothing about with a group of people who are passionate on this topic. Know when to shut up, bow out and beat it. The BDSM lifestyle does not attract more people with anger problems then 'mainstream' lifestyles. Does NOT. Period. And yes, it really does feel like you're looking down on our lifestyle and in fact even questioning my judgement in being a Pro in this lifestyle, just as the police did today.

I have seen HUNDREDS of wonderful, sane clients. Nutters are in nightclubs, on buses, in your office, at your bank and driving cars in rush hour traffic. I was bound to get one in my dungeon eventually. It was just a numbers game, just as pretty much everyone gets in a car accident eventually. We take calculated risks everytime we get into a car. I'm not going to change the way I run my business just because of one bad client.

Now I've asked you nicely but I've had a really fucking bad day. Do one good thing for me and the universe and stop commenting on my god damn thread, you selfish, ignorant, attention-hungry, self-righteous, narrow-minded...gentleman . Please. Thank you.

 

[uncleg]

I treat people the way they treat me . There was no malice in my post, and to be jumped on was not taken kindly. Your response was to the point and was nicely written . Thank you for that. Now please enjoy whatever you desire, its fine with me. I don't think anyone here is a freak and never said that. Having said that, I still think that the BDSM lifestyle would lure more people with anger problems then the mainstream styles would, hence the warnings

Much as I hate to disagree you mick on the anger problems issue, I will. I've found that the lifestyle actually tends to attract people with self esteem issues more so then anger issues, in particular on the sub side of the play. People that have anger issues usually don't last to long playing at events or with pros, they get weeded out pretty quick. Safety is a big issue with people that play in this lifestyle and they tend to have a keen sense for problems. Consider the numbers just on this Board, more SP's have fallen victim to violence in the mainstream lifestyle then in BDSM.

Having said that, I will say that you are generally a reasonable poster and I would back your claim that no malice was intended and that if somebody pisses on your parade you have every right to shit on theirs.

 

[mick_eight]

A. regarding the warning, unless you are a lady, the warning wasn't for you. No need to read it, REALLY no need to comment on it.

B. I'll expand on my initial reaction: BULLSHIT. Mick_eight, you have no fucking clue what you're talking about. You are sharing your completely uninformed, uneducated, unresearched opinion on a topic you know nothing about with a group of people who are passionate on this topic. Know when to shut up, bow out and beat it. The BDSM lifestyle does not attract more people with anger problems then 'mainstream' lifestyles. Does NOT. Period. And yes, it really does feel like you're looking down on our lifestyle and in fact even questioning my judgement in being a Pro in this lifestyle, just as the police did today.

I have seen HUNDREDS of wonderful, sane clients. Nutters are in nightclubs, on buses, in your office, at your bank and driving cars in rush hour traffic. I was bound to get one in my dungeon eventually. It was just a numbers game, just as pretty much everyone gets in a car accident eventually. We take calculated risks everytime we get into a car. I'm not going to change the way I run my business just because of one bad client.

Now I've asked you nicely but I've had a really fucking bad day. Do one good thing for me and the universe and stop commenting on my god damn thread, you selfish, ignorant, attention-hungry, self-righteous, narrow-minded...gentleman . Please. Thank you.

I'm not he only one that thinks the way I do . Better educated people then me and you think the same way I do . Now you go fuck yourself because you don't have a fukking clue about people with mental illness so stop sprouting like your some sort of expert because you beat people for a living. Just because you surrond yourself with people you can dominate, don't think you can do it to everyone. And once and for all this thread is only yours through Freds pleasure so STFU about it as if you own it. I'll come in here any fukkin time I want Got that you ignorant fukkin bitch. Not everyone is a sub and quit fukkin treating me like one . I know the dom is hard for you to drop. But it won't fukkin work around me. Now take your whip and go fuck yourself with it.

 

[Small pleasures]

you go fuck yourself you don't have a fukking clue I'll come in here any fukkin time I want Got that you ignorant fukkin bitch. Not everyone is a sub and quit fukkin treating me like one . it won't fukkin work around me. Now take your whip and go fuck yourself with it.

You've illustrated my points for me beautifully. Well done.

Welcome and thank you for contributing to the BDSM section of Perb. You've provided a great deal of entertainment for all of our viewers today.

Tomorrow you may wake up and feel a little bit bad about telling a women who was attacked by a client to go fuck herself with her whip in a thread where she is warning other women and discussing her feelings about the situation. Maybe you won't. I couldn't really guess as I don't have a clue about mental illness.

 

[lenharper]

I'm certainly not a lap dog for Ms T as my needs are not ones she choses to serve. That said, even thou we've had a verbal tussle on this board, she conducts herself with dignity and class.

why guys like Mick 8 and Krustee and 'stapler dude" insist on using this board to attack woman who are willing to provide a service they would never get in the real world is beyond me.

Sadly they seem much closer to the "attacker" in Ms T's story than I think they even recognize...

 

[MissJasmine]

You've illustrated my points for me beautifully. Well done.

Welcome and thank you for contributing to the BDSM section of Perb. You've provided a great deal of entertainment for all of our viewers today.

Tomorrow you may wake up and feel a little bit bad about telling a women who was attacked by a client to go fuck herself with her whip in a thread where she is warning other women and discussing her feelings about the situation. Maybe you won't. I couldn't really guess as I don't have a clue about mental illness.

Miss T nice to see you in red I wouldnt worry about others' personal issues about bdsm...including that of other members or the police. People can hide behind usernames and spew out all sorts of nonsense, in the end the thing that matters is that youre ok and you handled the situation correctly.

Going to the police and explaining yourself would have been difficult whether as an sp or a dom. Attitudes such as "its part of the business" or "he wont get prosecuted anyways" is the very reason why offenders get away with shit and the thought makes me sick.

Your a class act for not taking this sort of thing lying down.

 

[Domina Alize]

Advice

Mistress T, I am so sorry to hear of your bad experience but I do have words of advice:

1) Put on some clothes already! Most of the famous Dommes of the world keep their clothes on. Domination is not about peeling and attracting clients this way. Doing masturbation shows and making yourself look like a sex object is not good for your reputation or your mental health. Your photos, image and reputation WILL attract a seedy and questionable clientele. This is the real difference between a Dominatrix and a Service Provider.

2) Screen your clients/submissives! I know Dommes who have never had your horrific experience. Mainly because they do not see anyone but submissive men….they do not cater to masochists, fetishists, and switches who are not 100% submissive. These types of clients are known to cause problems in the industry. When you screen your clients, do you watch for assertive tones in the voice or email? Assertive males can pose problems during sessions.

3) You do not appear like a dominant woman! The whole school girl image makes you look vulnerable. Put on some leather and cover yourself up! You are suppose to be a woman of authority and dominance not some little tart who teases with her pussy. Again, your image projects vulnerability. Not only will you lose the bad clients by presenting yourself as real dominatrix, but you will gain some authentic submissives who are not interested in the image you are currently projecting.

4) It appears you only have 2 years of “professional experience!” You have no business training other women to become professional dommes. Find someone who has been in the business for at least 5 years and educate yourself properly about the business and the clientele. Having one or two meetings with experienced dominatrixes is not good enough. You should be under someone for at least a year. Who mentored you!!!?

I hope you never again have the experience you did recently. No one should have to go through what you did. But, there are ways to limit the possibility of scary clients. Becoming a real Dominatrix and not a “service provider,” is one way of limiting your bad experiences. I hope you listen to my advice.

Be well,
Alize

 

[Small pleasures]

Mistress T, I am so sorry to hear of your bad experience but I do have words of advice:

1) Put on some clothes already! Most of the famous Dommes of the world keep their clothes on. Domination is not about peeling and attracting clients this way. Doing masturbation shows and making yourself look like a sex object is not good for your reputation or your mental health. Your photos, image and reputation WILL attract a seedy and questionable clientele. This is the real difference between a Dominatrix and a Service Provider.

2) Screen your clients/submissives! I know Dommes who have never had your horrific experience. Mainly because they do not see anyone but submissive men….they do not cater to masochists, fetishists, and switches who are not 100% submissive. These types of clients are known to cause problems in the industry. When you screen your clients, do you watch for assertive tones in the voice or email? Assertive males can pose problems during sessions.

3) You do not appear like a dominant woman! The whole school girl image makes you look vulnerable. Put on some leather and cover yourself up! You are suppose to be a woman of authority and dominance not some little tart who teases with her pussy. Again, your image projects vulnerability. Not only will you lose the bad clients by presenting yourself as real dominatrix, but you will gain some authentic submissives who are not interested in the image you are currently projecting.

4) It appears you only have 2 years of “professional experience!” You have no business training other women to become professional dommes. Find someone who has been in the business for at least 5 years and educate yourself properly about the business and the clientele. Having one or two meetings with experienced dominatrixes is not good enough. You should be under someone for at least a year. Who mentored you!!!?

I hope you never again have the experience you did recently. No one should have to go through what you did. But, there are ways to limit the possibility of scary clients. Becoming a real Dominatrix and not a “service provider,” is one way of limiting your bad experiences. I hope you listen to my advice.

Be well,
Alize

Wow. You sure are helpful, opps, I meant judgemental. You've thinly disguised slander as advice and although I should ignore it, I'm not going to. I'm actually going to respond as if you were actually trying to be helpful, just in case there was a tiny bit of well-meaning in your post.

1. No. I am not copying others. I am creating my own persona and defining what I want out of this career and life. I am an exhibitionist and a nudist. I am self aware enough to know what does it for me, instead of just trying to copy-cat what someone else has done. Which seems more dominant to you? You seem pretty sure that my image WILL attract a seedy clientel, yet it never has, and this particular client was not seedy either. May I borrow your crystal ball?

2. I was one of those Dominatrix's who NEVER had a bad client, up until a couple of days ago. I may NEVER have one again. No amount of screening would have prevented anyone from seeing this client. It was the 3rd time I had seen him and he was VERY submissive and respectful in every way personally and on the phone and email.

3. See #1. I don't think there's anything wrong with being a service provider (if you are you the Alize whom I met at a party, aren't you an SP?) I don't offer hj's, bj's or full service by personal choice, not because the "Domination for Dummies" handbook says that I shouldn't. In fact, I've recently started to force certain clients to orally worship me: because I like having my pussy licked! It's about what I like, not what people like you say I 'should or shouldn't' do.

4. Hmmm, I wonder why you would attack my ability to train anyone? Is it because I refused to train you? Rather than responding to that I will simply refer to all of the great reviews Dominique Domme received after I trained her. It speaks for itself.

To Alize (who seems to have a personal agenda here) and to everyone else I implore you to please let this thread die. The purpose of this thread was to warn other women and to vent about my experience with a group I expected would be supportive. Most of you were and I thank you.

It has been a little traumatic and I'm not going to play the tough guy and pretend it hasn't shaken me. It has less to do with the business and more with the moment of attack. Last year a friend I was walking with down the street in a good part of town was attacked by a group of guys just looking for a fight. Totally random. I was shaken for days. I really don't like this kind of violence. The verbal personal attacks on me in this thread have not helped and really make me question the malice in some people's hearts. Mick_eight and Alize, I direct that at you both. If either of you respond in this thread it will only be to selfishly defend yourself, not to offer any genuine help to me. Just let it go, okay? There will be lots of other opportunites to say mean things to me. Leave this thread alone.

 

[Domina Alize]

Wow. You sure are helpful, opps, I meant judgemental. You've thinly disguised slander as advice and although I should ignore it, I'm not going to. I'm actually going to respond as if you were actually trying to be helpful, just in case there was a tiny bit of well-meaning in your post.

1. No. I am not copying others. I am creating my own persona and defining what I want out of this career and life. I am an exhibitionist and a nudist. I am self aware enough to know what does it for me, instead of just trying to copy-cat what someone else has done. Which seems more dominant to you? You seem pretty sure that my image WILL attract a seedy clientel, yet it never has, and this particular client was not seedy either. May I borrow your crystal ball?

2. I was one of those Dominatrix's who NEVER had a bad client, up until a couple of days ago. I may NEVER have one again. No amount of screening would have prevented anyone from seeing this client. It was the 3rd time I had seen him and he was VERY submissive and respectful in every way personally and on the phone and email.

3. See #1. I don't think there's anything wrong with being a service provider (if you are you the Alize whom I met at a party, aren't you an SP?) I don't offer hj's, bj's or full service by personal choice, not because the "Domination for Dummies" handbook says that I shouldn't. In fact, I've recently started to force certain clients to orally worship me: because I like having my pussy licked! It's about what I like, not what people like you say I 'should or shouldn't' do.

4. Hmmm, I wonder why you would attack my ability to train anyone? Is it because I refused to train you? Rather than responding to that I will simply refer to all of the great reviews Dominique Domme received after I trained her. It speaks for itself.

To Alize (who seems to have a personal agenda here) and to everyone else I implore you to please let this thread die. The purpose of this thread was to warn other women and to vent about my experience with a group I expected would be supportive. Most of you were and I thank you.

It has been a little traumatic and I'm not going to play the tough guy and pretend it hasn't shaken me. It has less to do with the business and more with the moment of attack. Last year a friend I was walking with down the street in a good part of town was attacked by a group of guys just looking for a fight. Totally random. I was shaken for days. I really don't like this kind of violence. The verbal personal attacks on me in this thread have not helped and really make me question the malice in some people's hearts. Mick_eight and Alize, I direct that at you both. If either of you respond in this thread it will only be to selfishly defend yourself, not to offer any genuine help to me. Just let it go, okay? There will be lots of other opportunites to say mean things to me. Leave this thread alone.

Mistress, T

You and I have never met. There are many Dommes out there with the same name. There is even another Mistress T out there!

I am sorry you had your bad experience, there is no malice and I am sincere. However, what you’re failing to realize is that this IS a public forum and as such, all kinds of people will share their opinions whether you like it or not, or, if it differs from your way of thinking. You are a person of the public, you have a website and you are out there posting and engaging, therefore you should expect at some point there are going to be criticisms and dissent from your views.

As per your “apprentice”, it’s common knowledge that reviews on public forums can be biased. I won’t reveal third party comments.

I’m all for female empowerment, but I disagree with you way you conduct yourself as a Dominatrix. I don’t really feel or see empowerment or strength from your persona. And I believe it can affect your experiences. I am allowed to have my views and share my opinions since this is a public forum.

Perhaps what I said in my previous post was insensitive considering your experience, but you shared your experience and opinions so I decided to share mine.

And finally, if you want to control what people say in public forums I might advise you develop your own personal forum.

Regards,
Alize

 

[lenharper]

i find the

"dressed like that you were asking for it" admonishment pretty twisted for someone to spout in this day and age (especially with regard to the business we are discussing).

 

[Domina Alize]

"dressed like that you were asking for it" admonishment pretty twisted for someone to spout in this day and age (especially with regard to the business we are discussing).

Len,

I'm of a generation of Dominatrixes who prided themselves on their craft, not for exposing their nude bodies to attract clients.

I have plenty of experience in the business as do several of my associates. We are of the belief that "Domination is not Prostitution." And we raise awareness to prevent legal ramifications and consequences. This is our view, you don't need to share it.

But I do know that many local Dommes share this view and have been feeling the effects of Dommes who provide certain "services." There are consequences from this new type of service provider. And this subject is debated all across North America in many public forums.

My perspective is not unpopular.

Regards,
Alize

 

[uncleg]

Len,

I'm of a generation of Dominatrixes who prided themselves on their craft, not for exposing their nude bodies to attract clients.

I have plenty of experience in the business as do several of my associates. We are of the belief that "Domination is not Prostitution." And we raise awareness to prevent legal ramifications and consequences. This is our view, you don't need to share it.

But I do know that many local Dommes share this view and have been feeling the effects of Dommes who provide certain "services." There are consequences from this new type of service provider. And this subject is debated all across North America in many public forums.

My perspective is not unpopular.

Regards,
Alize

I am sure Ms. T can speak for herself, but let me add this, maybe your generation of Dommes is becoming passe? You and yours provide an image as part of your play, an image that some subs need, want, demand, whatever. However, not everybody wants that image and Ms.T provides an alternate image. The certain "services" provided are nobodies business except the Domme and the sub. Just because you are of the belief that "Domination is not Prostitution," doesn't make it so.

Prostitution: misuse of talent for gain: the use of a skill or ability in a way that is considered unworthy, usually for financial gain.

As to exposing your nude bodies to attract clients, ever consider that you might actually drive them away if you did that. A couple of years ago as part of the coverage of Taboo one of the suppliers of fetish wear made the comment that she noted that, "many of the women that were in this lifestyle were of a larger size." I prefer my BBW's dressed, but that's me.

 

[Aeiyah]

i myself also like the unconventional thinkers

... let me add this, maybe your generation of Dommes is becoming passe? You and yours provide an image as part of your play, an image that some subs need, want, demand, whatever. However, not everybody wants that image...

A good friend of mine once told me that most pro-dommes she's met struck her as being divas. She also told me she was impressed by some of the new generation pro-dommes who where unfettered by conventional thinking and who were unafraid to be feminine and expose their vulnerabilities.

 

[lenharper]

Ms A

now you are being completely disingenuous. i am sure you are aware that many men are hard wired to be sexually provoked by fetish wear, leather and PVC, corsets, thigh high boots etc and as such are just as turned on by fully clothed women as they are "near nude" ones. I doubt very much that "skin" is the thing that put buddy over the top.

I would also say that your clothing is probably worn to illicit some sort of sexual response. Even if that sexual response is never going to get farther than submission and a release sometime after the fact.

 

[Domina Alize]

I am sure Ms. T can speak for herself, but let me add this, maybe your generation of Dommes is becoming passe? You and yours provide an image as part of your play, an image that some subs need, want, demand, whatever. However, not everybody wants that image and Ms.T provides an alternate image. The certain "services" provided are nobodies business except the Domme and the sub. Just because you are of the belief that "Domination is not Prostitution," doesn't make it so.

Prostitution: misuse of talent for gain: the use of a skill or ability in a way that is considered unworthy, usually for financial gain.

As to exposing your nude bodies to attract clients, ever consider that you might actually drive them away if you did that. A couple of years ago as part of the coverage of Taboo one of the suppliers of fetish wear made the comment that she noted that, "many of the women that were in this lifestyle were of a larger size." I prefer my BBW's dressed, but that's me.

Uncleg,

I don't disagree with you on a few of your views. But in my original post, I mentioned that certain services, persona, or reputation would bring unsavoury clientele. And I also stated that this type of service provider would indeed drive away authentic submissives. Authentic submissives = safe: (specifically from direct physical violence). We all know that. It is well known in every corner of the bdsm planet that switches/fetishists/masochists can be dangerous during a scene.

If a Mistress desires to provide non-traditional services (hj/bj/nudity/sex)in a profession that is accustomed to a certain ethic then there is going to be criticism. Period.

Sorry to add more salt to the wound, but Mistress T had stated that she thought the guy was "a little strange" from the beginning. Why would that not be a red flag in itself, and cause her to decline the session in the first place? Judgement and instinct are paramount.

And one last comment uncleg... I doubt that the dominant, sadistic, cruel femme fatale archetype will ever become passe

Regards,
Alize