Crying Over You

[N!ghtsh!ft]

Recently (since about Sept.) I have met an SP who is into Domination. We have been getting together two or three times a month for sessions anywhere between 6 to 10 hours. Just so you know, this isn't about the money. The first time this happened between us I had only paid for one hour and we ended up spending over twelve hours together with no mention of additional fees. She charges me a very low rate considering our activities and she usually has several orgasms during our time together. She has told me that she enjoys the Domination but has not been able to find anyone who can provide her with what I can. I find that I enjoy pleasing her and being Dominated, this is something kind of new to me (the Domination, not the pleasing ) We haven't been able to see each other for almost a month now and we have a session coming up next week. She has told me that she has purchased some toys and accessories as have I and we are both looking forward to this next meeting very much. The thing that I find a bit unusual is that I get very emotional at times. In particular when she looks at me in a certain way I know exactly what she is thinking. She has this look that says "Don't even THINK about acting without my say so" At this point I am very near tears. Not out of fear or anxiety or anything along those lines. It's just a strong emotional feeling of knowing that she is happy doing what she is doing to/with me and that she knows that I am very happy with what is happening as well. Occasionally I have wept and she has stopped and asked me if I'm okay, I always tell her that everything is fine and that I'm just feeling very emotional. So I guess what I want to know is this: Is this something that usually happens during Domination? Has anyone else experienced this? Or is this exceptionally rare? I haven't read anything here about this, so I need to know if anyone has any knowledge of it.
Thanks.

 

[HubbaHubba]

I'm guessing uncleg will be telling us about one of his weeping sessions also. He is a very emotionally charged individual

I presonally have never experienced anything like you 2 gentlemen are talking about.

 

[edmontonsubbie]

Recently (since about Sept.) I have met an SP who is into Domination. We have been getting together two or three times a month for sessions anywhere between 6 to 10 hours. Just so you know, this isn't about the money. The first time this happened between us I had only paid for one hour and we ended up spending over twelve hours together with no mention of additional fees. She charges me a very low rate considering our activities and she usually has several orgasms during our time together. She has told me that she enjoys the Domination but has not been able to find anyone who can provide her with what I can. I find that I enjoy pleasing her and being Dominated, this is something kind of new to me (the Domination, not the pleasing ) We haven't been able to see each other for almost a month now and we have a session coming up next week. She has told me that she has purchased some toys and accessories as have I and we are both looking forward to this next meeting very much. The thing that I find a bit unusual is that I get very emotional at times. In particular when she looks at me in a certain way I know exactly what she is thinking. She has this look that says "Don't even THINK about acting without my say so" At this point I am very near tears. Not out of fear or anxiety or anything along those lines. It's just a strong emotional feeling of knowing that she is happy doing what she is doing to/with me and that she knows that I am very happy with what is happening as well. Occasionally I have wept and she has stopped and asked me if I'm okay, I always tell her that everything is fine and that I'm just feeling very emotional. So I guess what I want to know is this: Is this something that usually happens during Domination? Has anyone else experienced this? Or is this exceptionally rare? I haven't read anything here about this, so I need to know if anyone has any knowledge of it.
Thanks.

I read this post earlier and just kind of ignored it wondering what sort of reply might come from it. You have expressed your emotions competently and intelligently. You are a lucky man to have met your match/friend/whatever. Anyone who can bring me to tears is a special and wondrous individual....I was almost to tears when I hugged Miss T goodbye on that long ago street corner in Vancouver after having spent the night there....she rocks. But, that is fleeting...and what you have described is ongoing. So, I say to you Sir, you are a lucky man. Your post is more bragging than inquiring but a wonderful post all the same.

kindest,

eddie.

I'm guessing uncleg will be telling us about one of his weeping sessions also. He is a very emotionally charged individual

I presonally have never experienced anything like you 2 gentlemen are talking about.

Nor have I...but I admire those that do.

kindest,

eddie.

 

[N!ghtsh!ft]

I read this post earlier and just kind of ignored it wondering what sort of reply might come from it. You have expressed your emotions competently and intelligently. You are a lucky man to have met your match/friend/whatever. Anyone who can bring me to tears is a special and wondrous individual....I was almost to tears when I hugged Miss T goodbye on that long ago street corner in Vancouver after having spent the night there....she rocks. But, that is fleeting...and what you have described is ongoing. So, I say to you Sir, you are a lucky man. Your post is more bragging than inquiring but a wonderful post all the same.

kindest,

eddie.



Nor have I...but I admire those that do.

kindest,

eddie.

Yes, eddie, I'm afraid it is. But who wouldn't?

I wasn't sure what to expect when I posted this. As I said I'm very new to all of this and I find that every time we meet our activities are stepped up a notch. I am assuming this will continue until one of us reaches their limit, I dare say it may be me first. I don't expect that it will get out of hand as even though she can be very aggressive at times she is ALWAYS careful and aware of my safety. What I find so fascinating about all of this is we have never sat down and discussed it, there was no conversation like: "I'm very dominant." Oh good I'm very submissive" etc. We just gradually came to this point. I must admit that I recognized her Dominant nature early on and she has said that she saw the submissiveness in me. I think that we just naturally continued along in our personalities and we meshed. Thank you for the information you have provided. I will be posting here from time to time as new issues arise and I'm sure they will. If it is okay I will continue posting to this thread and not add new ones. I would also like to post details of our meeting coming up this week if that is acceptable to the board. Again I am seeking information and, as per eddie, bragging just a bit.

 

[uncleg]

I'm guessing uncleg will be telling us about one of his weeping sessions also. He is a very emotionally charged individual

I presonally have never experienced anything like you 2 gentlemen are talking about.

I was only weeping because I was out of ammo and there were still some moving targets.

 

[HubbaHubba]

I was only weeping because I was out of ammo and there were still some moving targets.

...........and to think, BA was going to invite you to go bird watching with her

 

[N!ghtsh!ft]

This is difficult to write. This is all so new to me and its getting very confusing. We spent some time together just talking about what is going on and started to lay down some ground rules: limits, safety word etc. I trust HER very much and SHE has stated that SHE will never hurt me (you know what i mean). Later on that evening SHE sent me a text telling me that she was very proud of me. i had to pull over as i began to get very emotional over this.Very recently we spoke briefly in person again and when i told HER how i felt about her text i actually began to sob uncontrollably. SHE held me and comforted me until i was feeling better. The emotions are so powerful and i'm feeling overwhelmed at times. We spoke about this as well and SHE told me that if things were too much for me that we could back off for a bit. SHE is not forceful or trying to push things beyond my capabilities. Again, i need to ask; has anyone else experienced anything as strong as these emotions? Not sure if this is all a part of the whole 'process' or if there is some underlying issues with me. Not seeking psychological advice obviously. Just more info. Thanks.

 

[HubbaHubba]

I'd love to hear from some of the ladies on this. I'd think the fact none of them have said anything, leads me to believe this isn't something that happens very often (if at all)?

 

[N!ghtsh!ft]

Initially i had thought i would hear more from the guys on this, but it definitely would be a huge plus to get any input from the ladies. Perhaps HH is correct, as there hasn't been much in the way of responses this may be something out of the ordinary . The ones who have provided info have been helpful, but if there is anyone who has had extensive experience in the BDSM world i would appreciate some feed back.
Just a bit of an update: recently SHE has instructed me to send HER a text message whenever i need to urinate. i must ask permission to touch HER cock. It doesn't belong to me, i just happen to be wearing it. i find that i am almost intruding on HER life by doing this, however SHE has initiated this and so i comply. i am very careful as to the times i text HER as i do not wish to disturb HER rest or recreation. Often i do not receive a response immediately, nor do i expect to as HER time is much more valuable than my needs and i must often beg for the opportunity to relieve myself. i enjoy the control SHE has and also enjoy the fact that SHE is pleased that i am following HER instructions. SHE tells me that it makes HER smile when i text asking for permission. Since it is HER cock i am also not allowed to touch it for my own pleasure. SHE may for HERS or if SHE wishes to provide me with pleasure, consequently i haven't experienced an orgasm in several weeks. Needless to say this is doing amazing things to my libido and my dreams. Lately i find that i am waking up not only quite hard but also very wet, no not from 'wet dreams' just extremely excited.
i realize that this is a bit beyond the usual SP/client relationship and i also know that it is what it is. There is no mention or expectation of this becoming a closer relationship and when/if SHE finds someone to spend HER life with this may or may not continue. i know SHE enjoys the control so much and it is hard not to continue to give HER more and more, however i do realize that there is a limit and we haven't reached that point yet.
i will finally be able to see HER tomorrow night! i will post an update here on how our meeting went. In the mean time, if anyone has any info on what i have been asking about i would appreciate any additional information. If i am providing 'too much information' in any of this, then let me know and i will tone it down.

Thank you for the input Beautiful_Anna! Yes i agree it is a total mindfuck, when i am with HER we seem to be very much on the same page. Actually more often we are on the same word, in the same sentence, in the same paragraph on the same page!

 

[HubbaHubba]

Hubba darling, drop the machismo and step away from your dick (well, at least get your hand off it ;-) ).

Let's get a little empathetic here.

Domination is much more than just about whipping and bossing someone around. If done right, it's a total mindfuck.

Getting so deeply into someone's head can bring up very intense emotions. I won't go into it here but just rest assured that sub space in nothing to be trifled with. It's very real and the profundity of the emotions it can unleash is amazing. Quite cathartic, actually.

Why the heck do you think it's been so popular for all these centuries?

Machoism was not intended or implied BA. I have just never heard of this from anyone, either male or female. Thus why I asked for the females such as yourself to chime in (as did he). I still have a tough time understanding this, while actually trying. I'm not judging the dude and if he is enjoying himself all the power to him

Not the response you thought you were gonna get was it

 

[N!ghtsh!ft]

Machoism was not intended or implied BA. I have just never heard of this from anyone, either male or female. Thus why I asked for the females such as yourself to chime in (as did he). I still have a tough time understanding this, while actually trying. I'm not judging the dude and if he is enjoying himself all the power to him

Not the response you thought you were gonna get was it

Not feeling judged. If i thought that would have happened i would not have posted. i get the feeling that this is a relatively safe place to get and give information..........and to experience a little online drama from time to time ; )

Not at all. In fact I'm gobsmacked! (love that word) Thank you for your honesty.

And yes, I guess it would be difficult to understand the dynamics of the dom/sub relationship if you've never experienced it. Done right, it involves a lot of trust from both and therefore vulnerability from the sub. My guess is the N!ghtsh!ft was psychologically ready for this situation and is releasing what he needs to at this time in his life.. The sub conscious is incredibly adept at attracting what we need in our lives.

My only concern for him is something he's hinted at in his last post: limits. I hope he knows where his are and can pull back the reigns (or she is of good enough character to do so) when they are reached.

Again Hubba, thanks for man-ing up!

i have discovered early on in our relationship that SHE is VERY careful and shows concern for me. i trust HER very much, but at the same time we are aware that my limitations are the stopping point. SHE has been very patient and we have been slowly moving forward, testing them all the time. As i mentioned i will be seeing HER tomorrow night and i will get a better idea of what my limitations are. We have been planning this for a few weeks and i'm not sure what to expect, but i am not concerned for my safety.

Thanks for the input!! Very helpful.

 

[uncleg]

Not at all. In fact I'm gobsmacked! (love that word) Thank you for your honesty.

And yes, I guess it would be difficult to understand the dynamics of the dom/sub relationship if you've never experienced it.

Actually the dom/sub dynamic is pretty heady and powerful stuff - especially for the sub. Done right, it involves a lot of trust from both and therefore vulnerability from the sub.

My guess is the N!ghtsh!ft was psychologically ready for this situation and is releasing what he needs to at this time in his life. The subconscious is incredibly adept at attracting what we need in our lives.

My only concern for him is something he's hinted at in his last post: limits. I hope he knows where his are and can pull back the reigns (or she is of good enough character to do so) when they are reached.

Again Hubba, thanks for man-ing up!

What BA said, way to man up. Now when are you going to man up enough to bend over and let BA have her way with you ?
Drawers down and give us a vertical smile.

As to the rest of what BA said, there is a lot of truth there. I had a pro-sub I went to a few times before she left the business, a young lady about BA's age I would think. She had been in the scene for some time and she had a certain image of herself. When I went to see her I had no definite scenario in mind, so we played it by ear. She had all the toys, but it came down to a collar and leash, and a flogger. It became a puppy training scenario. I led her around on a leash, she was on all fours, and put her through the paces, like you would train a dog. If she didn't respond quickly enough, a quick smack to the butt would be applied. By the end of the session she responed to command as well as any dog I had ever trained, not that I'd use a flogger in dog training.

At the end of the session we chatted a bit, and while nothing was said I could see something was bothering her. I called her again awhile later booked again. When I got there we talked and she told me that after I had left the last time, she had broken down and cried her heart out. She had to have a friend come over to help calm her down. She was hesitant to book that second session, but she did because she also had to find out what happened to her. So we discussed the session. Her image of herself was that of a beautiful woman, that while willing to submit herself to a man, would at the end be the one that was in charge, topping from the bottom. In this scenario it didn't happen that way. She did say that during the session it was starting to be a mindfuck, but she couldn't bring it to a stop because she was so far into sub-space. I knew there was a possibility of something like this happening, but figured that as a pro she would know/be able to stop if it got to intense.

Anyway, we had a number of other sessions after that, but I stayed away from the psych sessions and stayed to the more tried and true, bound, bagged and tagged sessions. We did actually become friends and had a relationship outside of the working relationship.

 

[HubbaHubba]

What BA said, way to man up. Now when are you going to man up enough to bend over and BA have her way with you ?
Drawers down and give us a vertical smile.

.

Imma giver

 

[HB40]

Just a bit of an update: recently SHE has instructed me to send HER a text message whenever i need to urinate. i must ask permission to touch HER cock. It doesn't belong to me, i just happen to be wearing it. i find that i am almost intruding on HER life by doing this, however SHE has initiated this and so i comply. i am very careful as to the times i text HER as i do not wish to disturb HER rest or recreation. Often i do not receive a response immediately, nor do i expect to as HER time is much more valuable than my needs and i must often beg for the opportunity to relieve myself. i enjoy the control SHE has and also enjoy the fact that SHE is pleased that i am following HER instructions. SHE tells me that it makes HER smile when i text asking for permission. Since it is HER cock i am also not allowed to touch it for my own pleasure. SHE may for HERS or if SHE wishes to provide me with pleasure, consequently i haven't experienced an orgasm in several weeks. Needless to say this is doing amazing things to my libido and my dreams. Lately i find that i am waking up not only quite hard but also very wet, no not from 'wet dreams' just extremely excited.

Wow! That actually sounds like a lot of fun!

I have to admit, I have cried while with a few girls. A couple were dom sessions and the mind just does funny things sometimes. The other time I was emotional, but comfortable enough with the girl to let my feelings out. I try to keep it together for the most part though.

Machoism was not intended or implied BA.

Yeah, thats a non sequitur.

And yes, I guess it would be difficult to understand the dynamics of the dom/sub relationship if you've never experienced it.

From what I understand he hasn't even experienced sex yet!....I'm actually quite surprised at his level of understanding.

 

[HubbaHubba]

I have to admit, I have cried while with a few girls.

Yeah but that was typcally after turning down your advances, that's an entirely different converstion HB40

 

[uncleg]

Yeah but that was typcally after turning down your advances, that's an entirely different converstion HB40

Since he's already with the girls I don't think it's so much a matter of turning down his advances, as it is his early splash downs. Lay out $$$ and leave your load on the floor seconds after whipping your dick out would make anybody cry.

After all isn't that why you're still a virgin, you keep blowing your load before you get a chance to get near a pussy.

 

[edmontonsubbie]

Wow....this has turned into one of the singularly more interesting threads I have seen come along in a long time. Thank you Nightshift. You are a fortunate individual to have met who you have met, and we are fortunate to hear it articulated so clearly and interestingly. It has also prompted some really cool insight from BA, uncleg, hubba, hb...and on and on.

I salute you sir and wish all the very best to you both as you wander along this road. It seems to me....that you both have a firm grasp on things....and, isn't that what it's all about. When awarding or taking this much power over another, awareness and honesty are paramount. Well, once the plants are watered, the floors washed, and the chickens fed. Speaking of which, I don't hear one of the chickens clucking any longer....that cannot be good. Sorry Mistress, I killed one of the chickens....I doubt....would be a good thing to say.

I love this board, and I enjoy you people.

kindest,

eddie.

 

[Daddy]

Wow....this has turned into one of the singularly more interesting threads I have seen come along in a long time. Thank you Nightshift. .

ditto. It sounds like she floats your boat NS. Ya know I'm havin' a little trouble with the .. well, let me put it this way: You're a newbie right? Right. Ok, in the game there is something called limits, which is a really a drag to even talk about, much less enforce. But everyone who plays in this way must give it some thought. The great thing about using a pro is you can communicate what those limits are and let them worry about it. Also, a pro has her own limits emotionally speaking, and will have no trouble navigating those. If you don't know what your limits are, she will more than likely proceed slowly and err on the side of caution. It sounds to me like, for whatever reason - chemistry, whatever - she's sped along quite smartly. My suggestion, if you're feeling a bit - overwhelmed - is that you simply give some thought to what those limits are. Try and come up with at least one or two, even if you don't think you have any, and communicate them. It is far, far better to err on the side of caution than risk. No matter what the D/s dynamic is between you, the submissive always, always has the right to say yes, no, or maybe with every act. You can always test your limits again, but once they're inadvertently crossed it can be very, very, VERY difficult to restablish trust. And if you have a great thing going, you don't want to blow it. She will probably respect you more if you proceed this way.

 

[HB40]

No matter what the D/s dynamic is between you, the submissive always, always has the right to say yes, no, or maybe with every act.

Wait...what...really!?! You mean I DON'T have to wear garters and 10 inch heels and try to walk lady like with a dildo in my butt?!?
And why do I have to take the dildo home and practice?!?

I think she likes to see me cry!!!

 

[HubbaHubba]

Wait...what...really!?! You mean I DON'T have to wear garters and 10 inch heels and try to walk lady like with a dildo in my butt?!?
And why do I have to take the dildo home and practice?!?

I think she likes to see me cry!!!

I can not find the words........................