Sometimes it's not that easy to dictate where you're going to raise the munchkins though...have you seen the prices on the houses in that area? Pretty low and sometimes it's the only thing a low income family can aford. Not saying that's all the resident's situations there...but a good chunk of them though.
Cruising the streets....
- Thread starter t-bone
- Start date
I used to live in Beverly. I didn't care for the area, so I moved. I moved to 107 ave. and 114 st. I didn't like the area, so I moved. I then bought a condo downtown. I didn't like the area, so I bought a house in a nice area that I like.Jub said:
Those were all choices I made. I could do what I did because I have drive, am ambitious, and am educated, have desire etc. etc.
Unless one suffers from a non self inflicted medical/mental condition, the life they choose, the lifestyle they choose to live is their choice, their choosing.
Although Ralph Klien's statement lacks tact, I can't say I disagree with it - in most instances.
Most people in that area DO have options, probably far more than I did when I lived in Beverly.
On the other hand, I think investing in real estate in that area is a great idea as the downtown core grows, and what is considered downtown is a far larger area than it was 10 years ago.
I'm with T-bone because I used to live in a pretty bad part of Vancouver many years ago and in the end it was up to me to do something about it.
Once I'd had enough I decided to make a move and while it was hard the pains were well worth it becuase it's been nearly 15 years since I've seen a SW or heard a gunshot and I don't miss any of it.
It's not a Ralph line Jub, it's too true, we live in a free society and we are free to choose where we live. There's plenty of affordable housing in other parts of Edmonton with bus service to get around. I'm living proof of that.
Once I'd had enough I decided to make a move and while it was hard the pains were well worth it becuase it's been nearly 15 years since I've seen a SW or heard a gunshot and I don't miss any of it.
It's not a Ralph line Jub, it's too true, we live in a free society and we are free to choose where we live. There's plenty of affordable housing in other parts of Edmonton with bus service to get around. I'm living proof of that.
OK, so, picture yourself as a woman. You've got a decent job, you're saving up for a downpayment on a house when all of a sudden you find yourself pregnant. It could happen to anybody. But, oh dear, your man leaves you, he's not ready for children, your maternity leave is two thirds of what your income was. Now you've got yourself and a baby to clothe, feed, and shelter on an income that was just enough for you when you were working but just doesn't quite stretch now that you have a baby. So you try looking for a cheaper apartment but all of the ones available are adult only buildings. The only apartment you can find is in a bad area of town. So now you're torn between going back to work early to try to afford a better place or staying home so you can bond with your baby, but you can't go back to work because you can't find a daycare in your price range that will take an infant.
So you tell me guys... what are your choices there?
So you tell me guys... what are your choices there?
Oh boy, you're going to hate me.Lilith said:
"You've got a decent job, you're saving up for a downpayment on a house when all of a sudden you find yourself pregnant. It could happen to anybody."
Why weren't you using protection? Were you forced to get pregnant? Someone was holding a gun to your head? If you got pregnant by mistake, you and/or your partner fucked up. Bottom line.
"But, oh dear, your man leaves you, he's not ready for children, your maternity leave is two thirds of what your income was. "
Your man is a dud. You make bad choices. This is YOUR fault, not his, mine, or anybody else's. It's YOURS. You are a bad judge of character.
"Now you've got yourself and a baby to clothe, feed, and shelter on an income that was just enough for you when you were working but just doesn't quite stretch now that you have a baby."
You should have pondered this BEFORE you got pregnant, not AFTER.
"So you try looking for a cheaper apartment but all of the ones available are adult only buildings. The only apartment you can find is in a bad area of town. "
You should have considered this BEFORE you got pregnant, not AFTER. You should have considered this before you let the dud you call an ex get down your pants. You should have used your brain, been a better judge of character, and not even hooked up with him in the first place. It is YOUR fault.
"So now you're torn between going back to work early to try to afford a better place or staying home so you can bond with your baby, but you can't go back to work because you can't find a daycare in your price range that will take an infant. "
These are choices YOU made. Live by them, quit whining, get a better education, and a better job.
I am not trying to piss here.
I just don't buy the "woe is me" bullshit. You choose your path in life. If you screw it up, deal with the consequences. You have many choices in life. You made terrible ones, and still are. Is that your story Lilith? Perfect! I don't know her, but admire her!goesks said:
Here is a woman who obviously made bad choices in her life. Her common law being one of them. BUT, she is making the best of a bad situation, and bettering her life, securing her future for not only herself, but her children! She is living smarter, working harder, getting an education. You see, with people like her, there is nowhere to go but up. She is destined for success! Unfortunately she is probably one in a million.
You may as well stop reading at this point. Why assume that she wasn't using protection? Not all protection is 100% effective. What if the condom broke?t-bone said:Oh boy, you're going to hate me.
"You've got a decent job, you're saving up for a downpayment on a house when all of a sudden you find yourself pregnant. It could happen to anybody."
Why weren't you using protection? Were you forced to get pregnant? Someone was holding a gun to your head? If you got pregnant by mistake, you and/or your partner fucked up. Bottom line.
Who cares if the condom broke? Who cares if she was using protection? Or not?wolverine said:
The whole story starts loooong before getting pregnant. It starts with terrible judgement. She should have used good judgement and never involved herself with him in the first place. I have zero sympathy for women who involve themselves in bad relationships. I have been in many bad ones myself, and it was *me* choosing to stay in them. A gun wasn't held to my head, I was tethered to a ball and chain so I couldn't leave. I *chose* to stay. And had nobody to blame but myself.
Choices, control, choices, control --- This seems to be a lot along the lines of:
1) What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
2) So, do you make much money here?
3) So, how did you get started in this line of work?
4) So, you been doing this long?
And for the guys -
1) My gf, wife, significant other doesn't understand me.
2) I control my life, except for the nights the little head is in control.
3) This is cheaper than most dates.
4) I can't have sex out of wedlock with a woman I respect.
5) There are some things my gf, wife, s.o. just won't do.
6) I want to be a well-rounded person and experience this.
7) I'm doing research for a book, project, course, survey etc.
8) The devil made me do it.
9) I'm under the influence.
10) I'm ugly
11) I'm fat.
12) I'm old.
13) I have no personality.
14) It's my money and I can do what I want with it.
15 My gf, wife, s.o is too fat, skinny, tired, ugly, unskilled, befreft of personality etc etc.
16) I owe it to myself - it's my birthday, divorce day, anniversary, I bought a new car and I'm celebrating.
17) I'm working on my technique
18) It's a dare, gift, bet etc from my friends.
19) ---Add your own
OF COURSE we all make choices. The point is, our environment and past history shapes us into the choices we end up making. No matter how much one of us chooses to be prime minister or a lady in space, it might not happen.
For many of us, we can CHOOSE not to let the little head do our thinking. What do we end up doing anyway?
Maybe we aren't in as much control as we like to think.
At least, that's MY story and I'm sticking to it.
1) What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
2) So, do you make much money here?
3) So, how did you get started in this line of work?
4) So, you been doing this long?
And for the guys -
1) My gf, wife, significant other doesn't understand me.
2) I control my life, except for the nights the little head is in control.
3) This is cheaper than most dates.
4) I can't have sex out of wedlock with a woman I respect.
5) There are some things my gf, wife, s.o. just won't do.
6) I want to be a well-rounded person and experience this.
7) I'm doing research for a book, project, course, survey etc.
8) The devil made me do it.
9) I'm under the influence.
10) I'm ugly
11) I'm fat.
12) I'm old.
13) I have no personality.
14) It's my money and I can do what I want with it.
15 My gf, wife, s.o is too fat, skinny, tired, ugly, unskilled, befreft of personality etc etc.
16) I owe it to myself - it's my birthday, divorce day, anniversary, I bought a new car and I'm celebrating.
17) I'm working on my technique
18) It's a dare, gift, bet etc from my friends.
19) ---Add your own
OF COURSE we all make choices. The point is, our environment and past history shapes us into the choices we end up making. No matter how much one of us chooses to be prime minister or a lady in space, it might not happen.
For many of us, we can CHOOSE not to let the little head do our thinking. What do we end up doing anyway?
Maybe we aren't in as much control as we like to think.
At least, that's MY story and I'm sticking to it.
Self defeating attitude.Rocky1 said:
I believe that is *I* truly wanted to become prime minister, I could. Or at least I would try. But that is me. My environment and past history have a lot to do with who I am. But nothing to do with what I am, or what I aspire to be.
I had zero dollars growing up. None. Nada. Zilch.Jub said:
I didn't drop out of highschool because I chose not to. When I was in highschool, I knew plenty of people that held jobs AND went to school, me included. And I earned decent money at the time. Enough that I could have lived on my own.
The point I was trying to make there is that not everyone has total control over all the factors in their lives. That is not my story, I don't even have kids. However I used to work with children and their families. I have seen alot of people struggling to get by on very little. I myself have chosen to live in a shitty area of town so that I could afford to go to school while working part time. I'm not saying that there aren't people out there who have made poor life choices that they have to live with, but there are some people out there trying to make the best of a bad situation. There are many people that don't have alot to start out with. It takes time to realize your goals in life. Bettering one's self is not an instantaneous happening. I wonder how many of you guys out there have ever had to feel rock bottom? It is a fact that for every highly successful person on this board, there has to be another person in the world that can't afford to eat. This is the nature of living in a capitalistic society.
Very good points, Lilith!Lilith said:
"The point I was trying to make there is that not everyone has total control over all the factors in their lives."
You are absolutely correct, and I agree with you. If you lined up 100 people in a room, I could probably pick out 1 that didn't have control over their lives. Perhaps someone with a handicap, poor upbringing, mental disability....
"There are many people that don't have alot to start out with."
I had nothing when I started out in the journey of life. I was the typical "I had nothing but three bags of clothes, and shoes on my feet." And it is true.
"Bettering one's self is not an instantaneous happening."
You are right. But I started the process of bettering myself when I was young. In school. By being a good student, getting good grades, and getting a good job.
"I wonder how many of you guys out there have ever had to feel rock bottom?"
I have hit rock bottom several times in my life. And not once can I think of an instant when it wasn't a situation I could have handled better. At the time I blamed the world for my mishaps, but in hindsight, it was me who created them.
In conversations like this all anyone can do is rely on their past experiences to shape their opinion on such a powerful and personal subject and my experiences were homeless with a girlfriend, we got a place and started to make a life together . But very soon realized that we could not go very far on 7.50/hr in Vancouver and raising a family. We chose to go our seperate ways and try to make some headway independant of each other. We both did and when it came time to make a decision as to if we should get back together or not we chose the later.
We're still great friends and love each other dearly however we knew we had CHOICES (there's that damn word again) and we chose to make better lives for ourselves rather than bring a kid into it first.
I mean no disrespect to anyone but getting pregnant by accidnet is as much of an accident as getting hit by a car when playing in traffic. And after all of it an abortion is still a possibility but once again there's that word CHOICE in your face. This one is not for everone so please don't flame me for mentioning it and I'm NOT trying to change the subject either.
We're still great friends and love each other dearly however we knew we had CHOICES (there's that damn word again) and we chose to make better lives for ourselves rather than bring a kid into it first.
I mean no disrespect to anyone but getting pregnant by accidnet is as much of an accident as getting hit by a car when playing in traffic. And after all of it an abortion is still a possibility but once again there's that word CHOICE in your face. This one is not for everone so please don't flame me for mentioning it and I'm NOT trying to change the subject either.
I am a very compassionate person. Almost to a fault.Jub said:
As for that midget, if he is dumb enough to try out for the Lakers, I have no compassion towards him when he gets laughed off the court. However, if he has set realistic goals, if he is making an effort, struggling through law school (for example), barely making ends meet, yet convinced he is going to make something of himself, I will happily buy the man a cart of groceries or pay a months rent.
I am a very charitable, and compassionate person to those who deserve it. Don't get me wrong.
I agree Goesks, a strong support system can make all the difference in the world. It is sometimes hard knowing where to go for help but asking is the first step.
I really seem to be sitting on the fence these days. I had had a post here yesterday and deleted it cuz I just knew it would ruffle some feathers on both sides. I really think each case has to be looked at on it's own. t-bone is right, we do have choices but sometimes thing DO happen and whether right or wrong, sometimes it's to late to turn back and you have to play with the hand that dealt. It's too easy for both sides to look at the couple of experiences they've had and apply those result to all other cases. There are a lot on dead-beat guys out there who leave women in a mess (whether or not they should have even been with the loser aside) and there are also a lot of women who milk the system and poke holes in condoms or whatever just to get guys to pay so they can stay at home until the kids 18 and then do it all over again for another 18 years. Welfare has tons of cases where women get pregnant just as they are about to get cut-off (and it ain't no accident). Does not mean all welfare cases are scammers. To re-iterate, each set of circumstances is unique.
