Affairs, open relationships, utilization of SPs
I've derailed this thread enough..lets get back on the topic of affairs..
I think life is best single or in an open relationship :cheer2:... Avoid the affair drama if you can!!!
I, for one, cannot honestly see myself completely committing to one person. At least not at this point in my life.. And I wouldn't want to force anyone to completely commit to me either..
There is a beautiful word I learned while reading Opening Up...That word is Compersion...it's the opposite of jealousy. Although at times it can co-exist with jealousy...
Opening up is an awesome book. It has alot of good info.. even for people who are just in casual fuck buddy relationships..to the more serious polyamoury agreements. And everything in between..
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I have not been an active member of PERB for a very long time yet I have been engaging the services of service providers for 40 years. I usually come to the site for recommendations or to be warned of who to stay away from.
I was very impressed by your comments Miss Hunter and a number of these replies and this thread is what stirred me to reflect and ultimately share my thoughts.
You had mentioned how it be best not to digress and get back to the topic at hand which was affairs. And your comment that you did not see yourself committed to one person but rather keeping relationships open or stay single . [Not exactly I'm just generalizing] Your first comment that Miss Hunter made that caused me to really think was when you shared how bits of your soul get chipped away Little by little with every encounter , with a newbie and especially many of the ones that a re disrespectful.
I think that's the key point here. Disrespect has become rampant. John's disrespecting service providers, service providers disrespect and John's, we just respecting ourselves, most people disrespecting others even if it is kept in them selves and the majority of people deep down inside not respecting themselves.
Respecting each other is something I don't see happening much anymore. True, caring and unconditional respect regardless of what's going on is not something I see not only him in this industry but in any industry and essentially it all comes down to relationships. No longer is their respect within relationships. I'm seeing that so often we are making it about ourselves. We have become very selfish and self-centered and demanding and opinionated and critical and judgmental and the list goes on. These things are very deep and well didn't and because we cannot identify them or see them we won't knowledge them.
Life revolves around relationships and our heart and soul is either build or chipped away at based on the quality of our relationships. .
I can't believe how many of the service providers nowadays are all about scamming and ripping off and taking advantage lying and manipulating.
I don't want to sound like my parents and say "I remember when". tt wasn't like that even 10 years ago yet alone 40 Years ago. Sure there's always been a of disrespect them on the profession the workers and the community but the amount of disrespect that people have for others is huge
. I think this is primarily a result of how there is much more selfishness and self-centeredness as each generation moves forward. A lot of that is from the immaturity we have as individuals because most of us and many of us have not fought through the fight to been able to build the character to stand firm on a solid foundation. It was so much easier to take the easy way out or to fake it or just fit in with the Joneses. Still a lot of disrespect among each other as there's so much finger-pointing judgment and I'm better than you don't deserve this name-calling the list goes on. Definitely not the idea of a community I want to live in and be part of I'm definitely not part of the community I would like to bring grandchildren and great grandchildren among each other as there is so much finger-pointing judgment and I'm better than you don't deserve this name-calling the list goes on. Definitely not the idea of a community I want to live in and be part of and deafly not part of a community I would like to bring grandchildren and great grandchildren.
My parents are celebrating 60 years of marriage as are many in their generation. They went through the years of depression and then a world war and then a baby boom and they learn how to fight and to push through and persevere and how to help each other and not be so self-centered. They learn to be there for each other and not manipulative and mine and disrespectful. They learn how to be hard workers and pay the price and put in the time and the effort and the energy and not expecting instant results. Quite a novel idea isn't it. There are those who are still doing that but it is fewer and fewer had a big reason for that is there's nobody to keep them or to mentor them for to be an example for them. It's becoming a lost art and growing up as a man or woman with character True character is harder to find.
They on the whole have no problem staying together. Large part of it was they were not selfish and they respected what marriage is about and we're willing to put in the time effort and energy so they could fight the fight and push through what had to be fought. That's a foreign concept to us today where as it is been often said do you want instant ratification and a quick solution happen let's just disrespect one another and talk to each other to the curb for that matter many people do not even respect yourself so it makes it very difficult for relationships to be beautiful or depressed through difficult times are going to happen. At the same time when one does not respect themselves they so easily take it out on others and unfortunately it was people like you miss Hunter stuff most of the abuse. I can totally understand how you feel and see the way that you do.
I think affairs come down to not respecting our self and not respecting the commitment you have made. I know I was brought up where it was easy to break commitments or to quit or to say one thing and do another . I could go on yet for me and it is strictly my opinion the main thing which Miss Hunter alluded to is about respect. Do we truly respect ourselves. In the deep subconscious mind are we respecting ourselves and others or are we walking around pissed off and angry and hurt and in pain hidden so deep that comes out in my calf commitment in this respect and in quick solutions and finding the easy way out. I know I said I sure that strictly as my thoughts and my Pinyan and I'm not trying to say this the way it is and everybody should do something about it. So I need that here as a fun and I know I myself personally need to keep digging deeper and looking inward and deal with the until pain, the lies that I tell myself and the actions and choices I make so that I can truly respect myself and others and in doing so being selfless so that I will have the energy to be out there doing things for others and helpful and beneficial way. sure it may also Mike Nevada but at least I got something to aspire to believe them. As this is my first post I would welcome any private messages regarding the progress of these comments from Milyer with the site and maybe do something different or better or worse that I can do . I'm open to suggestions and I do not usually take offense so please comments of the helpful kind are welcome. ( I do apologize as I have dictated this lengthy whatever we want to call it and as it is quite late and time for me to retire the second half I didn't get a chance to proof and I'm asking everybody to please respect that decision and give me a break ,lol) i'm sure I will learn how to put things in drafts and come back to finish the more important I need to learn how to keep things
