Being stood up

Dec 18, 2016
777
31
18
Oak Bay, Victoria
I was reading a review when it got me thinking...

If I have someone book 2 hours or more, in advance, I will often ask them to text me when they are on their way, just so I know nothing has come up they are still coming.

If I do not hear from them I assume they are not coming. I do not think I have been stood up because they never confirmed in the first place.

Or am I wrong? Is the intent to show up enough to consider them as standing me up?

Guys this goes for you too. If a lady asks you to confirm the call and she does not confirm, do you consider this as being stood up?
 

apl16

Well-known member
Jul 26, 2011
1,271
299
83
Look left. Way left.
If it's agreed to contact at certain time, the contact should be made....... the person being contacted should make some effort to contact the other person before writing them off.
 

badbadboy

Well-known member
Nov 2, 2006
9,576
277
83
In Lust Mostly
I read that both SP's and pooners either pull no shows or just don't reply to texts or emails when nearby etc. They are both highly disorganized, inconsiderate of the other person's time and just plain rude.

My drill is to email or text 24 hours in advance to reconfirm and notify them when I have parked nearby. Admittedly I have slipped on occasion with someone I've seen quite regularly like clock work over the years. Getting a text 30 min before asking "BBB are we still meeting this evening?" was my wake up call to almost over communicate. Even with SP's I've repeated with many times.

It works both ways though; If a regular says 11 AM, it doesn't mean I'll wait nearby til 11:45 to get the txt to buzz up. I have already gone 15 minutes ago.
 

MRGREEN

Lost in Translation
Jul 7, 2003
747
126
43
Winnipeg
perb.ca
I have had same day bookings but rarely. I usually book minimum 24-48 hours in advance and ask for a confirmation timeline . The confirmation ensures I'm coming and as well confirms my partner as well. If I were to cancel with less than 24 hours notice I expect to be responsible for some form of lost opportunity fee. More than 24 hours notice no harm no foul in my view. A non response to confirmation request would likely cause me to move on.

Peace
 

felixthecat

Well-known member
Aug 28, 2011
1,581
34
48
Guys this goes for you too. If a lady asks you to confirm the call and she does not confirm, do you consider this as being stood up?
My basic expectation for each party is to either proceed with the appointment, or to cancel it explicitly as soon as it's known they are not going with it.
Same as you would with any other professional appointment once date/time is set.

The main difference with other professional appointments is that it's hard to collect the cancellation fees. A bit of extra communication may be needed to alleviate that.
So yes, the other party is expected to reply, but I know sending one more message than "you have to" helped in some real-life situations when an unexpected occurred (an accident, phone's malfunction, text was sent to a wrong client).

If everything failed, a follow-up / apology is often what draws the line between WOT and an accidental screw-up. It doesn't mean I'd take a second chance with an unknown. But I would report their WOT behaviour if they completely disappear, and maybe give the benefit of the doubt otherwise.
 

Addison Cortez

Addixion
Sep 14, 2017
851
5
18
I don't consider it an appointment until there is confirmation.
That being said, if there is a no show, I won't make time for said person again until my time lost is compensated.

I don't think it is a good idea to be tracking down anyone that doesn't call or show up either.
How do I know he is alone or not, and that it is even safe to call. That's also why I do not return missed calls or messages, unless clearly says to do so.
 

Addison Cortez

Addixion
Sep 14, 2017
851
5
18
Just have to say I love your signature. Some time and thought put into that :dance::wink:
And yes you are right, looks like an animal cookie :)
cookies are meant to be eaten ;)

thank ya, the shill thing occurred to me while I was reading our new rules...this slit has a little witt (I did NOT just say that out loud, that was ViXiE, not Lady Addison)


who would stand up a cookie?!?
 
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