totallytouching...good point. I didnt think about what I would tell others. I guess you would really have to be comfortable with the SP. I would never want to have to lie about what my GF does, where she lives, and all those annoying questions family always ask.
Anyone ever date/marry a SP or former SP?
- Thread starter Ron Jeremy Jr.
- Start date
For my lovely Tianna
First of all....looking HOT baby love!
BUT
Lets say your guy treats you like gold. Its all good.
Then he doesn't want to introduce you to friends and family for fear of questions. (And I'm totally not saying ths has or will happen to you)...
What to do?
Are you spurned? Do you feel like he is just being smart and not rude?
You are in every other aspect of his life.....he treats you like a total princess and is so cool to you and has accepted your work. He even CALLS you Princess. Whatever you want....you have.
Now.....here's the rub.... he feels that his family will ask a bunch of questions to you....make you into an evil-doer (as Bush would say
), and you would be hurt, he would have family problems and therefore, you don't meet the family...talk to the family or anything close.
His friends? Well he knows that they see escorts and he is worried that they....upon meeting you will say "ISN'T THAT TOTALLY TOUCHABLE TIFFANY?....SHE GAVE ME THIS ROCKIN BLOW JOB LAST WEEK....But dude....why are you dating her? Just do her a few times and get it over with...Wait. You live with her? She's your woman? That's the chick that does your laundry and stuff? Man....thats screwed up. Me and a few of my friends have had a bit of fun with her too!"
NOW.....You never meet the friends because apparently the friends would go see you as an escort and report back to him.
Should you feel as though he is protecting you (as he probably is if he loves you).
Or should you feel like a second class citizen in the relationship? He is good enough for your friends and family but you aren't good enough for them. If thats the case, and I have lived it so I know the dillema, then what is the right thing to do?
I'm really not sure as to the answer especially when the guy treats you great and your dogs great and is great but there is always that looming thing for us girls...."I don't talk to my family about you or my friends about you because it may become a problem".....I totally see the point the dude has so I don't challenge it or try anymore....
Are men afraid to be blunt with friends and family about who we are and what we do SHOULD the topic come up.
The answer I THINK is a resounding YES! No one wants to say what we do to their mom or to their family and then say "pass the potatoes"....they want you to quit.....they don't want you to be close with your clients....they want who they love to be theirs and I think that is a realistic perspective from their point of view.
If people could understand us and what we do better than yeah....totally....I think its great. But they seem not to. Families generally (and I am sure there are exceptions to this for sure), want for their son to be with a girl WHO IS NOT AN ESCORT.....too much drama for their mama!
First of all....looking HOT baby love!
BUT
Lets say your guy treats you like gold. Its all good.
Then he doesn't want to introduce you to friends and family for fear of questions. (And I'm totally not saying ths has or will happen to you)...
What to do?
Are you spurned? Do you feel like he is just being smart and not rude?
You are in every other aspect of his life.....he treats you like a total princess and is so cool to you and has accepted your work. He even CALLS you Princess. Whatever you want....you have.
Now.....here's the rub.... he feels that his family will ask a bunch of questions to you....make you into an evil-doer (as Bush would say
), and you would be hurt, he would have family problems and therefore, you don't meet the family...talk to the family or anything close.His friends? Well he knows that they see escorts and he is worried that they....upon meeting you will say "ISN'T THAT TOTALLY TOUCHABLE TIFFANY?....SHE GAVE ME THIS ROCKIN BLOW JOB LAST WEEK....But dude....why are you dating her? Just do her a few times and get it over with...Wait. You live with her? She's your woman? That's the chick that does your laundry and stuff? Man....thats screwed up. Me and a few of my friends have had a bit of fun with her too!"
NOW.....You never meet the friends because apparently the friends would go see you as an escort and report back to him.
Should you feel as though he is protecting you (as he probably is if he loves you).
Or should you feel like a second class citizen in the relationship? He is good enough for your friends and family but you aren't good enough for them. If thats the case, and I have lived it so I know the dillema, then what is the right thing to do?
I'm really not sure as to the answer especially when the guy treats you great and your dogs great and is great but there is always that looming thing for us girls...."I don't talk to my family about you or my friends about you because it may become a problem".....I totally see the point the dude has so I don't challenge it or try anymore....
Are men afraid to be blunt with friends and family about who we are and what we do SHOULD the topic come up.
The answer I THINK is a resounding YES! No one wants to say what we do to their mom or to their family and then say "pass the potatoes"....they want you to quit.....they don't want you to be close with your clients....they want who they love to be theirs and I think that is a realistic perspective from their point of view.
If people could understand us and what we do better than yeah....totally....I think its great. But they seem not to. Families generally (and I am sure there are exceptions to this for sure), want for their son to be with a girl WHO IS NOT AN ESCORT.....too much drama for their mama!
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It is something you have to discuss with you sp g/f first of all... If both of you are ok with it,why fricken lie to anyone...After all,who the fuck is anyone too judge wut any of are pasts are...And if you only live to impress everyone else in your life,then there is no bloody way that your sp g/f or sp wife arrangement will ever work out...It is up too the both of you too agree on how your story of your past may go..F**k everyone else and grab some balls,cuzz in the end only love prevails.... MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL !!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL !!!At this point in time
I like to experience now for what it is!.. and the near future,.... I can only forshadow, what may happen, as of how I feel right now. I do not anticipate what if's, buts, by chances, or anything else, that has not happened. If it does apply in the future, then I will change, grow, or whatever it may be that happens in that moment..
xo
I like to experience now for what it is!.. and the near future,.... I can only forshadow, what may happen, as of how I feel right now. I do not anticipate what if's, buts, by chances, or anything else, that has not happened. If it does apply in the future, then I will change, grow, or whatever it may be that happens in that moment..
xo
Hmmm... wading into the whole family/friends agruement... I would think most families would be delighted to see their son being with someone who makes him happy. True, there would probably be questions about what does she do for a living, I could see that being difficult to answer
As far as the guy and his friends is concerned... if your man is bragging about your BJ's to his friends, then maybe he isn't the right man to be around? Seriously, that's a pretty crass and demeaning thing to do... to anyone, let alone your gf. It's a totally different situation when describing professional services... but who in their right mind says that stuff to friends? I'd be embarressed if one of my friends spoke of their wives or girl friends that way.
It'd be a quick trip to the "waaaaaay to much information there!" line.
Also, all of my friends ARE happily married or involved in long term committments.. so the chances of any freak encounters are pretty darned slim-to-none for me. I can see how other people might not be so lucky though.
Dammit... why are we even having this discussion? lol... right at x-mas, one of the lonliest times of year for single folk... and it's got me all thinking about who/how I'd want to settle down. I must be some sort of closet masochist or something for posting here heh
As far as the guy and his friends is concerned... if your man is bragging about your BJ's to his friends, then maybe he isn't the right man to be around? Seriously, that's a pretty crass and demeaning thing to do... to anyone, let alone your gf. It's a totally different situation when describing professional services... but who in their right mind says that stuff to friends? I'd be embarressed if one of my friends spoke of their wives or girl friends that way.
It'd be a quick trip to the "waaaaaay to much information there!" line.
Also, all of my friends ARE happily married or involved in long term committments.. so the chances of any freak encounters are pretty darned slim-to-none for me. I can see how other people might not be so lucky though.
Dammit... why are we even having this discussion? lol... right at x-mas, one of the lonliest times of year for single folk... and it's got me all thinking about who/how I'd want to settle down. I must be some sort of closet masochist or something for posting here
hehThis business is fucked and relationships within it are confusing and damaging. I feel sorry for the girls who are emotionally weaker and haven't had experience being a call girl and a girlfriend because it can twist a man into a knarled little self concious/absorbed mess and alot of women do not know how to handle it. Circumstances on how you met and how it went from there are certainly defining factors in the outcome, even more so then in real life. It makes every move we make magnified and keeping secrets and lying is most girls biggest mistake. My opinion.
That's a valid opinion.... keeping secrets does tend to be self detrimental.. leads to stress, anxiety, the dark side of the force...
Women are women ... they are all great until they are in
a relationship and then its the same shit: I don't care if
they are sp's or nurses or teachers or doctors or whatever:
women in relationships are simply nuts.
Bottom line: I wouldn't date any woman irrespective of her profession,
because the fastest way to make a good woman go bad is to date her!
For the dumb-asses who think 'free' sex doesn't come at a cost,
you deserve what you get.
Merry Christmas!
a relationship and then its the same shit: I don't care if
they are sp's or nurses or teachers or doctors or whatever:
women in relationships are simply nuts.
Bottom line: I wouldn't date any woman irrespective of her profession,
because the fastest way to make a good woman go bad is to date her!
For the dumb-asses who think 'free' sex doesn't come at a cost,
you deserve what you get.
Merry Christmas!
Ron Jeremy Jr. said:
Got fooled twice that it could work. Once a chick is an SP, I think she becomes incapable of having a normal relationship. In both of my instances, they insisted they wanted to get out but they were about as stable as a cat on crack. It is too bad as both were great humans but they had such low self esteem that no matter what I tried, it was never enough. One is back in the biz in Vegas and the other is on husband number three and fucking that up too I understand.
My advice, stay a long way away from them.
Hmmm,after seeing how many married or involved in a relainship men come too them...How are they ever to feel secure about being in a relationship ??
funnguy694u said:Hmmm,after seeing how many married or involved in a relainship men come too them...How are they ever to feel secure about being in a relationship ??
more like...
I've been doubtful of truly successful relationships even existing since witnessing the divorce of my parents when I was 17.
I am convinced more than I ever was that in 99% of cases, conventional relationship/marriage are an illusion and crock of ***. A lot of ppl consider it as a better and easier option to being single. It works for some. For others it's easier to pretend it works.
All I know is that once you know you have no problem being single and consider it a healthy option, you can be a lot more honest with yourself about what you're looking for in a relationship...in a partner.
I haven't figured out what the alternative is (that's why I'm choosing to remain single
) but being an sp has opened my eyes to the fact that conventional, conformity and being within the norm (?) works for very few so exploring other options that work for me is the only way I'll find a relationship I feel "secure" in or about. I do think it's possible, but it's for each person to find out how...unless you're comfortable with the conventional definition, of course.Also, saying getting involved in a relationship with an sp is all bad, all trouble and to be avoided is generalizing one ones' experiences. I truly believe that we are half to blame for any failed relationships.. blaming it on your ex being nuts, on drugs, crazy, being an sp, etc.. doesn't absolve you of anything... afterall, we choose who we date so in my world, that makes you just as responsible for the failure of the relationship. In some cases, having had it happen twice just means someone didn't learn anything from their first mistake....One word: Projection.
One last thing... it's been said already but... If you're paying her: You are NOT dating.
Me
I completely concur, after all how can someone say that their partner being an sp led to the downfall of the relationship when that partner was an sp when the realtionship started. I myself have dated an sp and found it to be a great and rewarding experience, even though it didn't last I have no regrets. I always knew that a portion of the time she was not with me she would invariably be spending time with someone else but that was fine as I didn't need details and she didn't needlessly provide them.Miss*Bijou said:
An sp is no different then a teacher or secretary or any other profession, frequently they are those as well. To stereotype them either way would be inaccurate and unfair.
I would much rather have an respectible sp for a g/f or wife,than a cheap ass bar hoping slut that goes around bare boning everyone when she is drunk and bringing home the dose or even worse...
And from my perspective, Bijou, a conventional relationship IS something that can very much work out...as both of my grandparents remained happily married until death took my grandfathers, and my parents are still very much married.
Part of the problem today is that people seem to get married "till annoyance do us part", rather than the more traditional phrase :| Love and marriage take work, it's not a free ride, but the reward of that work is more than worth the expense in time and energy... as long as you've made the right choice.
So much is done on whim or passion, with the expectation that the passion and excitement will remain forever. However, it doesn't work that way at all... and if you want that passion, romance and excitement to last, you have to work at it an reinvent it every waking day. The relationships that are worth it do it...those that aren't are the ones that break up.
You know, it down right ticks me off that Stephen Harper and his groupies blame gays on the deterioration of the institution of marriage... as far as I can see, the damage has wholly been caused by people (regardless of sexual preferences) who treat marriage as a fad or a "thing to do" or "just because"... and then end up divorcing for the same reasons.
I guess settling down and getting married is a definite goal for me, as is raising a family eventually. However, I need to find a good partner in crime to do all the fun things in life (travel, goof off) first...and I'm not about to simply "settle"... but it's the personality that is the clincher. Job? Not so much...
Part of the problem today is that people seem to get married "till annoyance do us part", rather than the more traditional phrase :| Love and marriage take work, it's not a free ride, but the reward of that work is more than worth the expense in time and energy... as long as you've made the right choice.
So much is done on whim or passion, with the expectation that the passion and excitement will remain forever. However, it doesn't work that way at all... and if you want that passion, romance and excitement to last, you have to work at it an reinvent it every waking day. The relationships that are worth it do it...those that aren't are the ones that break up.
You know, it down right ticks me off that Stephen Harper and his groupies blame gays on the deterioration of the institution of marriage... as far as I can see, the damage has wholly been caused by people (regardless of sexual preferences) who treat marriage as a fad or a "thing to do" or "just because"... and then end up divorcing for the same reasons.
I guess settling down and getting married is a definite goal for me, as is raising a family eventually. However, I need to find a good partner in crime to do all the fun things in life (travel, goof off) first...and I'm not about to simply "settle"... but it's the personality that is the clincher. Job? Not so much...
I don't know, I see SP's and I'm married and have been for over 12 years. I'm not about to leave my SO because I want sex more than she is prepared or able give. But that doesn't mean I don't love my wife its just that at this point we aren't in the same place with that aspect of our lives. That doesn't mean that we won't be at some later date.......funnguy694u said:Hmmm,after seeing how many married or involved in a relainship men come too them...How are they ever to feel secure about being in a relationship ??
And I know many women that are unfaithful and stay with their spouses, so it isn't fair to think that SP's should feel anymore insecure than men about relationships.
Dating / Marrying an SP
I'm basically ignorant or naive about this situation but the idea sounds grand. However if you look at it as an occupation point of view it's way differnt. Considering a Tianna who enjoys her work a lot and is very popular. I'm sure there is another side of her that men may want to know about but can't because we define our boundaries on our intimacy issues. Being someone who hasn't had much experience, I think I can give a differnt point of view.
First of all I think it takes maturity beyond years to realize that what your sp is doing is a job (no pun intended). It has its benefits of course, being popular sp has considered the safety, money is obvious very good (non taxable) and it gives a certain lifestyle. IF anyone wants to be involved with an sp it's really easy to 'visualize' what it might be like. A hot Tianna waking up every morning giving you the business then off to work. She's physically attractive and want to remain that way, blah blah. The problem lies what's inside her brain. Is she thinking about him or you during the naughty bits. ARe you doing it better/worse than clients? These issues can be detrimental to the relationship when things aren't going well. Do we as clients believe we can physically take her out of her occupation and make her what we want her to be?? Can't because that's her 'work' was what made us attracted to her in the first place. Some porn stars have boyfriends and I'm sure what attracted them initially is not that she understands the socio economic viability of a country such as china or does she know afghanistan is in for a long haul with US butting in, but she can screw like no other. Personally, I find honest, fun intelligent girls very attractive and that I trust that when she's with me she WANTS to. I love this site because of the anonymous nature and we can be honest. So Tianna we haven't met but it would be great to pick your brain sometime!!!!
About the family issues. Well tht point is harder. Being Asian we don't neccesarily ask our sons/daughters what they do and as long as we see grandchildren we don't ask questions. ( I would tell my gf is rich ) I think once marriage comes into play she would choose to retire the business w/o ANY PRESSURE from us. If she doesn't well it's the lifestyle change so maybe marriage wasn't supposed to happen to begin with. My 2 cents
I'm basically ignorant or naive about this situation but the idea sounds grand. However if you look at it as an occupation point of view it's way differnt. Considering a Tianna who enjoys her work a lot and is very popular. I'm sure there is another side of her that men may want to know about but can't because we define our boundaries on our intimacy issues. Being someone who hasn't had much experience, I think I can give a differnt point of view.
First of all I think it takes maturity beyond years to realize that what your sp is doing is a job (no pun intended). It has its benefits of course, being popular sp has considered the safety, money is obvious very good (non taxable) and it gives a certain lifestyle. IF anyone wants to be involved with an sp it's really easy to 'visualize' what it might be like. A hot Tianna waking up every morning giving you the business then off to work. She's physically attractive and want to remain that way, blah blah. The problem lies what's inside her brain. Is she thinking about him or you during the naughty bits. ARe you doing it better/worse than clients? These issues can be detrimental to the relationship when things aren't going well. Do we as clients believe we can physically take her out of her occupation and make her what we want her to be?? Can't because that's her 'work' was what made us attracted to her in the first place. Some porn stars have boyfriends and I'm sure what attracted them initially is not that she understands the socio economic viability of a country such as china or does she know afghanistan is in for a long haul with US butting in, but she can screw like no other. Personally, I find honest, fun intelligent girls very attractive and that I trust that when she's with me she WANTS to. I love this site because of the anonymous nature and we can be honest. So Tianna we haven't met but it would be great to pick your brain sometime!!!!
About the family issues. Well tht point is harder. Being Asian we don't neccesarily ask our sons/daughters what they do and as long as we see grandchildren we don't ask questions. ( I would tell my gf is rich ) I think once marriage comes into play she would choose to retire the business w/o ANY PRESSURE from us. If she doesn't well it's the lifestyle change so maybe marriage wasn't supposed to happen to begin with. My 2 cents
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Luckyj, I've never dated an SP, but I've known about three well enough as friends to say I have a bit of a handle on what it would be like to date an SP. I hope you don't think I'm picking on you, but I just disagree with a lot of what you said, so in the sake of free discussion, here it is:
Other than that, I agree with everything else you said.
Oh, and just for the record, I'm not saying I wouldn't date an SP. I'm just saying there's a lot of issues involved and both sides should go into it without rose-coloured glasses.
Yes, it's a job, but the first time your SP girlfriend stands you up because she wants to make money with a client, and all sort of things will be going through your head. Vancouverman shit on me the last time I said this, but I truly believe the boyfriend of an SP needs more emotional reassurance from her than boyfriends in other 'normal' relationships because of the nature of the job. It might not be right, but it's true.luckyj said:
Safety? Just wondering how being popular leads to be safe. Money's great, no argument about that. Non-taxable? Yes and no... how do you arrive at the conclusion that the money SPs make is non-taxable? A certain lifestyle, yes, but I'm not sure if I envision the same lifestyle you're envisioning. You might find yourself with a whole new group of 'friends' that are very different than the friends you had before.luckyj said:
Not to pick on Tianna but let's say any SP girlfriend. It's debatable whether the boyfriend will get the business before work. Sometimes the boyfriend will get put after the work, and therein lies the rub.luckyj said:
Are you kidding me? I dated an Asian girl once and the second and third questions out of her mother's mouth was what do I do and how much money do I make. I know there are exceptions to every rule, and generally I find stereotypes to be unfortunately quite accurate, but I haven't seen enough evidence to support this generalization.luckyj said:
Other than that, I agree with everything else you said.
Oh, and just for the record, I'm not saying I wouldn't date an SP. I'm just saying there's a lot of issues involved and both sides should go into it without rose-coloured glasses.
What gets me are guys that pimp out their wives or girlfriends? Whats up with that?
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The Happy Hobbyist
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The Happy Hobbyist
Sps definitely make great girlfriends and lovers. Actually quite a few of themwilde said:
are great moms too. I personally know a few of them . Usually they are single moms looking for a better life for their children.Of course there are some who are terrible moms no matter sps or not !
