shitty deal man
ive never been stood up before, but as your attorney i would advise you to leave as many annoying voice mail messages with her as possible. the tragedy isn't in being stood up, it's having your time wasted not only on the date that didn't happen, but for taking the time it took to post here for ideas for a chick that probably isn't worth the flesh she's printed on (ok thats a little harsh.)
as i mentioned before, this is strictly for your own personal amusement. think jim carey messages in the movie "cable guy" if you lack ideas.
example:
"hello ____ this is _______ i didn't hear from you last night. I just wanted to apologize for missing our get together, I was in a four car pile up and in emergency surgery the better part of the evening. Don't worry though, everything is cool. Maybe it's the anesthesia talking, but I think you're a very beautiful young lady, who seems kind, tactful, and classy and I would love to make it up to you sometime by taking you out for 5 cent candies at 7-11 and hanging on to the dim hope that someday, if I spend enough money, you'll throw an old dog a bone and let me slam your pooper. anyways, call me back"
example:
"hey, it's me again. I just had my catheter removed, and thought about you. my phone also rang in the middle of it, but the ID was restricted so I thought it might have been you, anways. call me back when you get this. bye"
example:
hi _______. this is _______ again. havent heard back from you. anyways, i just called to say hello again. funny story, the orderly was helping me with my walker to the bathroom and there was an unusual amount of blood in my stool, and my urine was unusually brown and murky so they're going to keep me for a couple more days just to be on the safe side. anyways, i know you're probably busy but i'd love to hear from you. call me. bye!
example:
Hi ______, OK, i'm starting to get a bit worried, the only person i'm hearing from are my parents, and my lawyer. My mom keeps asking me when i'm going to meet a nice girl, and i keep saying "ma, i've met one. She's kind, caring, considerate, and as beautiful as the sun and the seas, the stars and the moon, she's just a little busy with work right now" (i hope) Anyways, my lawyer says with the way my case is going my settlement should be quite considerable, well i won't bore you with the details right now, but you should drop by the ICU and maybe you could wheel me down to the hotel cafeteria and we could finish that date we tried to start. the nurses say i should be able to handle solid food tomorrow. my urine and stool analysis came back better than expected. funny how i remember that stuff whenever i'm calling your voicemail. dont ya think? anyways. CALL ME!
hopefully you get the idea by now. remember. this isn't to heal your fragile ego. im sure you'll have no problem finding another woman to go out with you, just close your eyes and imagine the horror and aggrivation she's going through when she checks her messages and the mailbox is full because you haven't stopped calling.
text messaging is getting popular these days too. you might want to consider alternating between her voicemail and sending her text messages. you want to find the balance between getting on her nerves, and coming across as a psycho, Hannibal Lecter type nutjob.
DISCLAIMER: I do not specifically condone this behaviour towards women, it's fun with EVERYONE. i did it to a guy i work with when he was on holidays for a month last summer. i called him 2 or 3 times a day for about a week before i couldn't leave anymore messages. his wife and kids wrote down the ones they liked the best made a nice card for me
