And this, boys & girls, is one reason why the sex trade exists

[Elmore]

Pleasing a husband in a docile, unchallenging, maid sort of way is not for everyone. Some guys like their women beside them and not a few feet behind them.

It's a broad generalization about non Canadianized Asian women but I don't think it's far fetched that many men (not all) look for those sorts of qualities when they seek out Asian women.

 

[BORKO]

And that is the reason. more and more men and women are in open relationship.

But it not allways the guy complaining about no sex.. all though it is most of the timr..

It does seem that women are more selfish . about their "O" these days.. and thats all they real want.
lets face it .. most sex toy are made for the women.. .Not too many guy. want a big vibrating cock up the ass.
and we dont have a vigina.. . Some would say "pity" So sex toys are for women because men want sex ut dont want to get the lady off

Yap that is why there are escort....and why women get together with other women..
play with each other and their sex toys.. and bitch about men

I think there are a few sex toys made for mutual pleasure, what about ones like these:

http://we-vibe.com/we-vibe-3

And I'm not sure a huge amount of women want a big vibrating cock up their ass either but I'm sure there are a number of men out there that would enjoy that.

 

[Elmore]

Elmore, I’m only speaking from experiences I’ve had with women from both countries, the women I’ve met from both, in the hundreds.
How many Japanese or other Asian women do you personally know to say they are docile?

If by docile you simply mean caring and self sacrifice (like I see my Canadian male friends doing everyday, coming home from work and cooking diner because Mommy’s pills and reality TV shows make her too tired to cook), then I would agree, but I have never seen any Japanese woman walk a few feet behind the men.

While I defer to your expertise when it comes to Asian women, I do know some and they are more inclined to smile, nod and simply go along with their husband when it comes to decisions that need to be made in the family. That is part of what I mean by docile.

It's comical for me to read reviews where the guy commends the Asian SP for putting on his shoes after the session.

C'mon man...put on your own damn shoes!!!

 

[vancity_cowboy]

Whoa Whoa WHOA there cowboy, don’t be so quick to write of mix marriages as mail order brides.

First of all, Hongcouver is about half Asian right?

Secondly, some of us left Canada, looked around, and found ourselves thinking something along the lines of:
“You value your husband over your "status"?”
“You put family time and values ahead of rallies and ideology?”
“You are genuinely concerned with making me happy and not just with what you can get?”
Once that sinks in, you can’t help but say “Sign me up!”

I’ve known sincere caring Canadian women like that, but not very many at all.
I’ve known materialistic ideology based Japanese women like that, but not very many at all.

As a big generalization (read racist statement) …
Canadian men (I’ve found) spend more time trying to please their SO then the women.
Japanese women (I’ve found) spend more time trying to please their SO then the men.
So… In general… Canadian men with Japanese women are a great match but Japanese men with Canadian women are a train wreck.

Just one Lost souls experience.

well said l-i-j

'mail order brides' was possibly not the best expression to use. however, when i see guys going on a two week holiday to the philipines, and coming home having met the woman they eventually marry and bring home to canada, that's the expression that comes to mind. nothing wrong with it, and the marriages last, so i'm basically all for it

 

[PlayfulAlex]

While I defer to your expertise when it comes to Asian women, I do know some and they are more inclined to smile, nod and simply go along with their husband when it comes to decisions that need to be made in the family. That is part of what I mean by docile.

It's comical for me to read reviews where the guy commends the Asian SP for putting on his shoes after the session.

C'mon man...put on your own damn shoes!!!

"They are man pleasing!"

 

[1nitestan]

I fail to see the connection that "pleasing your man" = "being subserviant and docile". It means a woman puts as much energy into looking after the household as her man does at work. Yes it's harder to do with both people holding down jobs. Even harder to do with kids. But you do it. A lot of people forget that just because someone is your husband/wife they somehow stop being your boyfriend/girlfriend.

Let's not talk solely about Asian women. There's also women from southern europe and Latin America. They definitely know how to hold down a job and look after their husbands. No one would ever call your typical latina docile.

The CL guy is on a rant for sure but it really looks like both him and his wife have given up on eachother.

 

[Elmore]

I fail to see the connection that "pleasing your man" = "being subserviant and docile". It means a woman puts as much energy into looking after the household as her man does at work. Yes it's harder to do with both people holding down jobs. Even harder to do with kids. But you do it. A lot of people forget that just because someone is your husband/wife they somehow stop being your boyfriend/girlfriend.

Let's not talk solely about Asian women. There's also women from southern europe and Latin America. They definitely know how to hold down a job and look after their husbands. No one would ever call your typical latina docile.

The CL guy is on a rant for sure but it really looks like both him and his wife have given up on eachother.

I actually agree. But we don't know what each man requires to "be pleased". Some guys want a woman to laugh at all his jokes even though they suck and tell him he looks great even though he's 70lbs heavier than when they got married (but he still complains she hasn't lost all the baby weight)

There are some weak men who want even weaker women. I have dated many Latin women and many fit the stereotype of having a fiery temper and not taking any shit but at the same time they were devoted women who very much wanted to please the man in their life. I see Asian women a bit differently though.

But as this thread is supposed to be primarily about sex, men need to take some responsibility for their wives being less interested. Just because a woman of a different culture will dutifully tolerate their husband laying on them for 5 miuntes or so doesnt really address the deeper issue. I've said this before...married guys can be clueless about how sexually charged their wife can be but they don't think they should have to put in any real effort.

 

[kauffman]

i guess the exception to the 90% i suggested earlier in the thread would be all the caucasian dudes i see when i'm shopping with an obviously foreign wife, usually asian. the equivalent of mail order brides i guess... they seem pretty happy

I think a big part of the problem is that tthe roles of men and women have become confusing. Women 's traditional roles are often looked down upon by other women. If you are a "homemaker" you are rarely given the credit where it's due. Women now seem to think that progress is not knowing how to cook, they dont find nor seek satisfaction in traditional roles, they are often only praised ofr acheivig traditionally held males roles. Working outside the home, independence, etc. Trouble is then some of them want traditional men yet now there is no one to take care of the homefront. WOmen are tired when they get home. Some of them, that dont work, now dont know how to cook, dont clean, want to dominate the relationship, arent feminine yet expect to be given everything. If they work, who is there to cover cleaning, cooking, energy for sex etc... Or sometimes they are expected to work cook clean raise kids and still have energy for the men. To be a woman that is deal takes a lot of time money and work. More than many men realize. Hair nails, waxing makeup shaving working out, And now work, mothering cooking cleaning as well. There are so many things that we are supposed to be and we forget that this is all a marketing ploy to keep us dissatisfied so that we will spend money. Why women are less interested in sex over time ios partially hormonal, partially potentially a result of having had children, maybe lack of confidence if comparing oneself to the female form shown as the ideal. perhaps because nobody feels comfortable in knowing what their roles are anymore. The standard of living presented to us by the media etc is ridiculously difficult to attain for the average person living in a city like Vancouver. We spend more time on acquiring "things" than on relationships with our significant others and families......I get the frustration

 

[sevenofnine]

Maybe, its just me

But any relationship can work if you want it to.
I think that is the key, do you want it to.

Do you look at some one and see all their flaws, all that is wrong with them.
Or see all that they can be, and try and help them be that.

I could have walked on my wife. Sure as hell could have.

But the first thing I thought was wrong in our marriage
was me.

I tried to fix me still trying as best I can.
Trust me its hard work.

Number two in my marriage. let my wife be the women she is. Not who I want but the women she is.
Its on going and continues we will never be done.

You know I have seen an sp for ten years. Regular for four.
Crossed way over the line into personal areas.

But the same thinking applies.
first be the best that I can be, then let her be the women she is,
doesn't matter at all that I pay her its irrelevant.

The problem with this entire thread, is your trying to change someone, its never my fault.

Change you,
the other person. give them all they need to be who they are.

 

[Elmore]

Be the best you can be for your wife...and your escort? Maybe it sounded good in your head but it's pretty flawed imo.

You are not alone. Others are convinced that they are a better husband because they see escorts.

 

[1nitestan]

Be the best you can be for your wife...and your escort? Maybe it sounded good in your head but it's pretty flawed imo.

You are not alone. Others are convinced that they are a better husband because they see escorts.

Usually because of the guilt associated with seeing an SP, they tend to be more attentive.

 

[PlayfulAlex]

Please tell me that you just forgot the /SARC tag Alex?

They are man pleasing!

You guys are funny...if you watch the whole 1:26, this phrase is a direct quote from the clip! ound:

 

[sevenofnine]

Be the best you can be for your wife...and your escort? Maybe it sounded good in your head but it's pretty flawed imo.

You are not alone. Others are convinced that they are a better husband because they see escorts.

Does it work to run some one down, my wife or anyone.
Find fault with them but of course Im perfect.
Its all my wife's fault, yeah.

Isn't that a dream, its not my fault it is someone else's

The reality is I am only responsible for me and I can only change me.

It is a pretty simple concept actually.
Team sports players use it all the time, take care of your position so your teammate doesn't have to worry about you.

Then if your good enough, you make everyone better,
It is a very simple concept, instead of blaming everyone else.
Finding fault with everyone, where does it get you,

And again its pretty simple Im fucking miserable because I'm horny and not getting any.
Im not a happy camper not fun to be around.

I find an escort she puts a smile on my face.
The pressure of sex is gone from my marriage. I have kids, and suddenly dad is happy.
Instead of a miserable son of a bitch. Im not planning how to walk out and leave them high and dry, a quick visit to an sp and its all taken care of.

I don't know why that is so hard to understand.


Sex is so simple and easy to take care,

 

[sevenofnine]

Something else to by the way.
Your horny as hell, you think your marriage is so bad.

You see an escort or you fool around, you see what is out there,
Maybe your wife your life your family doesn't look that bad.

Sex is so simple so easy, you have an itch you take care of it.

This is as stupid as hell from a guy cheating on his wife.
But my wife is mine and I trust her, trust her to be there.

More then I can say for me,

My sp and me discussed my wife,
and my sp called my wife a bitch, and at times she is.

My response is, yes she can be hard to live with,
but she is mine,

Ever heard the saying, Better to rule in hell then serve in heaven.

Stupid as hell to say, but I have someone, a wife. its not perfect, not even close. to perfect.
but she is mine and I trust her.

Looking at all the people out there, all the women, no woman is perfect,
So me and my wife aren't having sex.

Its pretty simple to take care of when the rest of it compares not all that bad to any other woman. There is a lot worse out there.

 

[addicted2lov]

Creating and maintaining relationships is hard. Very hard. This is one thing we're not being taught in school. And relationships are a very important part of life, you can't just fuck them up just like that.
Fucking a woman for cash is convenient and easy. We're wired to fuck women. That's what we do, that's what we are. SP's are actually so nice that they let us do it to them. The cash we pay them is so little for the risks they take: they can get diseases, raped, beaten, exposed, etc. We want them so bad so it would be stupid for them not to offer it. It's actually works out very well. Thanks god sex trade does exist and prostitution is not illegal in this country.

 

[Elmore]

Sex is so simple so easy, you have an itch you take care of it.


So me and my wife aren't having sex.

Seven
You seem like you've had a rough go of it early in life but have managed to keep things together and raise a family. Good for you. I think family is everything.

You often comment that you live in a sexless marriage to justify seeing escorts. That is up to you. I think guys can do more to prevent being in a sexless marriage but I certainly see the justification for seeking sex elsewhere if a person is not getting it at home.

But I think you would agree that if it was just sex you were after, you would be booking 1 hour sessions and not 3 - 4 hour sessions. You comment on how sometimes you don't even have sex during your session (I think once you said your escort was really tired). You take your regulars out for dinner...it sounds like you spend half the day with them. And then your wife's friend walks into a bar where you and your SP are hanging out.

Do you really believe you just see escorts for sex? You're basically paying to have affairs.

As someone who is divorced, I obviously won't be becoming a marriage counselor in this lifetime but based on my experience and others who have been divorced or chosen to stay together, if there is enough missing (not just sex) in a marriage that I (or my spouse) need to get all of those voids filled by someone else whether it's free or not then it's time to move on. Not even agrees. Some think it's best to stay together for the sake of the kids or for financial reasons and I get that. To each his own.

It is not that hard for strangers to recognize strained relationships in couples. People are delusional if they don't think those within that family (kids) who are closest to it also don't see it.

 

[ihatemyskirt]

Yup pretty much hit er right on the nail there.

sorry, the guy that wrote that is like 90% of husbands in north america. just check the divorce statistics if you don't beleive me

the thing that gets me is guys that get married AGAIN after going through it once - slow learners i guess...