am frustrated and maybe its just me but i need some opinions

[trentanator]

I am only lurking here on perb once in a while, as i am finally dating someone, we have been dating since thrid week of december have shared a bed. this has happened numerous times

I always make a concerted effort to give her an orgasm while manually or orally. have given her oh say 15 to 18 orgasms in this time period

she has given me 2 hand jobs in all that time

now i was very honest with her that i did partake in this hobby and she has asked me to get tested i have done that she has asked me to get tesed again in 6 months i will do so

but i am not getting anything from her at all except for the 2 hj's i have provided us with condoms.

I am really trying to be patient and understanding.

but with regular relationships how long do you girls in your private life wait to start things? and how long do you guy's in your private lives wait for things to start

just wondering if i do have a right to be slightly frustrated or am i full of it?

 

[Markl]

First of all, congratulations.

As to your question. The ex and I tried to last 3 months when we started dating, we made it to 1 month before jumping each other.

 

[housedj69]

To me it's not about any particular length of time. It's about both of you being on the same page. Waiting for months can be pretty awesome because of the built up anticipation, but you both have to be in agreement that that is want you want to do. Sometimes it feels right to have a sexual relationship right off the bat. If the testing is an issue for her than there's not much you can do about it other than comply with her wishes to get tested (which you have already done) and decide if you can live with the possibility of waiting six months. Also, I would ask her flat out if she intends to keep you cut off until that time. I would be frustrated if I were you, but you can't blame a girl for wanting to be sure.

 

[trentanator]

i dont mind her wanting to be careful but cant we do something with a condom but i am wondering if its just a girl thing or a mainstream thing to wait for a long time i thought people were a bit freer these days a bit

just asking for people to relate some stories or their experiences about how their sex life gets started

 

[wolverine]

If she's still holding on ya, start pooning again!

 

[Bad Santa]

If she's still holding on ya, start pooning again!

I'm with wolvie on this. Why go on with all that frustration? In the future, yes get yourself tested before having sex with your girlfriend but if you test clear, why on earth would you ruin things by telling her about your previous pooning days? She'll always think you're comparing her to the SP's you were with. You'll freak the poor girl out.

This is also why it is never a good idea to talk to a girlfriend or wife about any of your previous relationships. You're just opening a big ugly can of worms!

 

[HotGuy25Edmonto]

There is nothing normal at all about being with her that long and not getting laid. Dumb her and try again and don't be some damn honest next time.

 

[EnchantingAria]

Honestly, I think she's overreacting and you've fallen for it hook, line, & sinker.

It won't bode well for the relationship if she always gets off in the bedroom but comes up with stupid excuses why she won't reciprocate for you! Believe me, there are sooo many ways to orgasm through safer sex, so she just isn't using her imagination!

You need to take the reins of the situation and research some great ways that she can participate in YOUR sexual pleasure "safely" and then present these possibilities to her. If she balks at the idea of pleasing you in these "safer" ways, then she's just a greedy sex bitch who will never care about your needs... But if she's game, then you've got a winner!

 

[trentanator]

ok thank you Aria appreciate the opinion will act on the options thing

and all the rest i think i understand that you all feel that its not me being really needy and that you feel that i am actually normal

 

[edmontonsubbie]

I'll chime in because...well....it's a discussion thing. I saw this interesting little snippet on the news where someone was interviewing some psych type dude and his schtick had to do with relationships. And he made a very interesting point about the modern day "sexual liberation" of western society....combined with the inherent prudishness of most that exist within it. His notion, and I had to agree, was fairly simple. He is an advocate of talking openly with your partner about your own expectations. Be blunt, be polite, but be honest. If she won't provide you what you need....ask...why? If she won't answer that...suggest. Go ahead...think about your past. Fine, I am a self admitted whoremonger. I didn't have to admit that, but I did. So....what will it take for you to trust me enough to give me what I need from this relationship? Do you want me locked up into a cb6000 chastity device to which only you hold the key? Well, as I think you are pretty cool....maybe that has possiblities.

My point here only is....be honest with her about what you expect. If she can't or won't answer honestly in return....then you have a flag. It is easier to sit here and logically think about all that....gawd knows I have run around flags before....but....this is discussion forum and that is my input. Good luck trent. If she's good enough to have attracted your eye and interest, she's good enough to hear all of what it will take to make it work.

kindest,

eddie.

 

[Markl]

or... "If people can't accept you at your worst, they sure don't deserve you at your best" - Marilyn Monroe.

 

[pjrd]

ya You better sit down with her and have an honest talk about things. You've tested clean so there's got to be another reason. If you're not getting it on by now what do you think it's going to be like after a few more months? I was once in a relationship like that and it never did get any better so we just went our seperate ways with no hard feelings. Talk now and don't waste time with someone that doesn't want simillar things in life sexually. From what you tell us you sound pretty normal.

 

[FloridaGuy]

I can't believe you told her you hobby. Stupidest thing a man could say to a woman.

That said......the fact she knows you're a cheating asshole but she still sticks with you is a good sign. She's a hearty woman and may be worth some patience to try and work things out. Assuming of course that you're looking for a crazy woman. Because only a desperate crazy woman with no self-esteem would stick around with a new boyfriend after he's told her he sees prostitutes. You may be ok with that. If that's the case, you are in complete control in this relationship over the long run, which may or may not be appealing to you.

Or, she wants something from you and is stringing you along until she gets it (and you're acting like a sucker by staying with her). In that case, she is in complete control of the relationship.

Anyhow, please don't take this the wrong way - I am not trying to be insulting and am a sleazy enough guy in my own rights!! I'm just giving a couple opinions. I'm actually kinda envious that you've found a woman who knows you hobby yet she sticks around. If it were me (all other things being equal) I would stick it out until she'd let me "in", once the test waiting period is over. There can't be too many women in Canada who would stick with a guy once he let the hobbying thing slip out.

 

[trentanator]

no i do not go pooning while i am seeing her but told her that i had done it in my past

i had been asked by girls that i had dated a couple of times why i was not kiss shy or how i knew what i was doing

they wondered as i had already told them that i had never had a girlfriend before ( at that time )

i have only told the one girl that i was a pooner