Is it wrong to not want to get married and just enjoy this lifestyle?

purpleelephant · Sunday at 12:08 PM

With divorce rates through the roof now and less people are getting married and having kids, plus the economics simply doesn't work out/work in my favor to get married and have kids is it still worth it? Getting married means the end of my freedom I'm stuck with someone way less attractive and having to pay way more money. (birthdays, anniversaries, regular outings, taking care of her parents, childcare etc) and yes regular women seem to be a lot more demanding than these service oriented women. What if I have more than enough for myself seeing different beautiful women all the time at a fraction of the cost and they all put their best feet forward we retain the best moments and all of that all goes away if I'm to marry a regular woman and be in debt all for what? For the sake of marrying a regular woman and having a kid that might not even be close to me or grow up the way I want just for the sake of bringing another life to this world when there is enough population in the world and the future is uncertain with AI replacing jobs? I could live like a king with what I have always in the presence of absolutely beautiful women and I would throw all of that away for a regular life raising kids that would take on regular jobs and that I wouldn't have more than enough to provide for them? It seems like this lifestyle is a cosmic cheat code in a broken system it just feels too good to be true sometimes and I'm not providing value to the world if I'm just enjoying myself. But on the other hand is marrying and living a regular life and being miserable providing any more value?

If anything after seeing so many beautiful women I would much prefer to marry within the industry with a SP of my choice as taboo as that sounds. Do people do that? I'd imagine it would be difficult for both of you to give up your lifestyles so would you be keeping the relationship open at that point? In the end I just think regular women just don't compare to the women in the industry that some are just like angels that have my legs melt. Regular women are far more judgemental, way less fun and the very little exclusivity that you trade for could be very short lived if she decides to cheat on you anyways or more often just finds a reason to divorce you and take half of your money simply because of her expectations that you are not good enough. (yes and it seems with regular women they are way more entitled and are harder to satisfy not to mention it's almost impossible to find regular women in the open world that look just as good as women in the industry where they are all concentrated)

So having lived this lifestyle for so long it seems like the regular life is a complete 180 and a life sentence in comparison and the tradeoff is just looking fringe when regular folks ask and you are not living for the approval of the regular folks.

Anyone else feel the same, experience the same way or have personal experiences with this?

ChromeGasCap · Sunday at 12:56 PM

I'm married and have advised my son to not seek out marriage. Also suggested he get tied off so he cannot be baby trapped, and still continue to wear condoms.
It is not worth dealing with baggage that women carry today.
An example is how they are so fearful of men, yet seek out relations with the worst of the worst, while most men are kind and considerate.
I love women, just not going to entertain their drama.
I see it much like an investment. Men an women need to make steady deposits into the relationship in order to cash out later.
In my relationship, we have a dead bedroom. She just has no interest. I've told her she hasn't deposited enough into the bank to have my support if she finds she needs help later, as it is not the responsibility of a room mate.

Equity Market investor · Sunday at 1:21 PM

When I was much younger, I had many tell me to stay single. I've had girlfriends in the past, lived the common law route twice --- never worked out so, I decided to remain single. What ever makes your boat float. Do what you think is right for yourself. If you are young....you'll figure it out. You should not feel guilty by your decisions because your making those for a reason. Relationship mentalities in todays world are not what it once was. That is for sure!!

Off topic. I hear divorce rates are sky rocketing. Is there a link which proves that to be fact?

maniacalone · Sunday at 1:46 PM

Equity Market investor said:
When I was much younger, I had many tell me to stay single. I've had girlfriends in the past, lived the common law route twice --- never worked out so, I decided to remain single. What ever makes your boat float. Do what you think is right for yourself. If you are young....you'll figure it out. You should not feel guilty for your decisions because your making those for a reason. Relationship mentalities in todays world are not what it once was. That is for sure!!

Off topic. I hear here and there divorce rates sky rocketing. Is there a link that proves that to be fact?

The divorce rate data is mixed. The “gray” divorce rate among 50 and older is rising whereas the actual overall rate is declining and runs from 35-40 percent as opposed to the commonly shared “50 percent of marriages end up in divorce” cliche.

Why do we only look at the declining marriage rate from the male perspective? Recently heard a Bill Maher editorial on what he calls the “masturbation” economy and young women choosing sex work as their only options in the present economy. Either choosing to do onlyfans, pornography, stripping or getting sugar care from boomer men who seem to have all the money.

Is it possible that women no longer have interest in marriage either and are happy to have older boomer men support them via platforms, escorting or other means than getting married?

Forum mod · Sunday at 1:59 PM

It's a choice you can certainly make, but realize that all of your interactions with the opposite sex will be transactional, superficial and shallow. You won't develop a real relationship, loneliness will be broken only by these short-term encounters. If you can handle that, you're good. I would suggest having some good friendships, people you can hang out with. You might wake up one day 20 years later and realize you are empty, but it happens to a lot of people.

westwoody · Sunday at 2:07 PM

Until I left home in the early 1970s I only knew of 3 divorces.
My 2 nephews have had 3 EACH!
So from my perspective it’s way up.

People are realizing you only have a short time on earth, don’t waste it being miserable.
Don’t let leeches drag you down.

dude1q2w3e2w · Sunday at 2:17 PM

Forum mod said:
It's a choice you can certainly make, but realize that all of your interactions with the opposite sex will be transactional, superficial and shallow. You won't develop a real relationship, loneliness will be broken only by these short-term encounters. If you can handle that, you're good. I would suggest having some good friendships, people you can hang out with. You might wake up one day 20 years later and realize you are empty, but it happens to a lot of people.

Honestly doesn't sound that bad

purpleelephant · Sunday at 2:23 PM

I did a quick Google AI search although divorce rates are actually declining they are still high as in the 40-50% and fewer people are having children that was the whole point that divorce rates are still high. As for being empty later and all my relationships are transactional I bond way more with SPs and women of the industry even though people say they are just providing a service and are after your cash they are still human beings at the end of the day and there is still mutual attraction and there is way more attraction between us than with a regular woman that I'm not even attracted to in the first place. Plus what about the women in the industry don't they have this exact same problem? What about pursuing long term relationships with them because they are the only women I'm attracted to because of their looks and personalities? I've had many regular conversations with SPs I've been with in the past and some could have turned into something it's just that I keep on finding new ones and there is less incentive to nurture something for 20 years later when everything has a 40% failure rate. That said I see it even less with regular women that I'm not even attracted to rather than women that makes my heart beat fast and my legs melt so why force it with a regular woman? Is it just because of the taboo of dating SPs and women of the industry?

Larry's Torch · Sunday at 4:34 PM

Wow, lots to unpack in this thread!
To the OP: there's nothing wrong with living your life the way you want to. It took me a few decades to figure this out and the amount of time and money I wasted learning this is almost depressing. Plus all the drama and emotional involvement left a mark on me as well.
Not everyone experiences this, but mine have led me to the point in my life where I'm better off alone.
Starting a relationship with a SP, in my opinion wouldn't be any different than one with someone from civvie life. It may turn out to be worse in some respects. I don't believe that anyone can be involved in this industry (pooners and SPs) for a while and not have it affect them on some level. Perhaps your thoughts on having a relationship with a SP are based on your short term (1hr+) experiences. It won't be like that day in day out.

maniacalone said:
(snip)
the actual overall rate is declining and runs from 35-40 percent as opposed to the commonly shared “50 percent of marriages end up in divorce” cliche.
(snip)

Perhaps due to the fact that fewer people are getting married/common law.
Fewer "legal" relationships, fewer divorces.

Forum mod said:
It's a choice you can certainly make, but realize that all of your interactions with the opposite sex will be transactional, superficial and shallow. You won't develop a real relationship, loneliness will be broken only by these short-term encounters. If you can handle that, you're good. I would suggest having some good friendships, people you can hang out with. You might wake up one day 20 years later and realize you are empty, but it happens to a lot of people.

THIS!⬆
Develop a strong group of really good friends! As you get older they will play a big part in your life where family doesn't exist. We are ALL going to need help and support of some type as we (hopefully) get older.

the_world_depression · Sunday at 8:04 PM

if you look throughout history, marriage for the wealthy is really used for alliances and joining of houses/assets. the idea of "marrying for love" is new.

most men were incel/work slaves. those that married usually had property and married someone in the same social class that joined their assets together. men were basically expected to seek "fulfillment" outside of marriage.

Pumped · Sunday at 8:22 PM

the_world_depression said:
if you look throughout history, marriage for the wealthy is really used for alliances and joining of houses/assets. the idea of "marrying for love" is new.

most men were incel/work slaves. those that married usually had property and married someone in the same social class that joined their assets together. men were basically expected to seek "fulfillment" outside of marriage.

Marriage for love is many hundreds of years old. And for poor people, it was pretty much all they had in their marriage until they produced enough kids for them to be economically viable.

We need to remember that marriage took many forms throughout history and it varies throughout different cultures as well.

Pumped · Sunday at 8:31 PM

Forum mod said:
It's a choice you can certainly make, but realize that all of your interactions with the opposite sex will be transactional, superficial and shallow. You won't develop a real relationship, loneliness will be broken only by these short-term encounters. If you can handle that, you're good. I would suggest having some good friendships, people you can hang out with. You might wake up one day 20 years later and realize you are empty, but it happens to a lot of people.

I have a number of close friends who are married and they describe it as being incredibly lonely, often superficial and transactional.

If someone does absolutely no work on themselves, they won't develop fully as human beings regardless of their relationship in a marriage. They might actually find their growth stunted through complacency.

Some people thrive in relationships like marriage, but they need the tools and emotional/psychological maturity to deal with it as well. Many people never find any of those tools in relationships or on their own.

Sadly, we have very few good role models or mentors around to help either men or women to have good relationships. And those that have had them, tend to find each other. The rest of us deal with the leftover mess.

VinVan · Sunday at 8:55 PM

No matter where you go, there you are…

lukom · Sunday at 10:57 PM

Things do go up in price, and that includes this lifestyle. This isn't simply a onetime large investment, like fishing gear and a hunting rifle, which is a lifestyle of its own. It's a luxury that goes up in price. Eventually you get old, your dingdong wont work, you'll have no one, youll be a pensioner with money that won't be enough as inflation continues. I never got married, and this will be me. However, I learned that I have a biological son, and have been reaching out, and with his mom's permission getting to know him through Facebook. They live in Alberta. So I lucked out in a way.

only_lurkn · Monday at 12:33 AM

purpleelephant said:
I did a quick Google AI search although divorce rates are actually declining they are still high as in the 40-50% and fewer people are having children that was the whole point that divorce rates are still high. As for being empty later and all my relationships are transactional I bond way more with SPs and women of the industry even though people say they are just providing a service and are after your cash they are still human beings at the end of the day and there is still mutual attraction and there is way more attraction between us than with a regular woman that I'm not even attracted to in the first place. Plus what about the women in the industry don't they have this exact same problem? What about pursuing long term relationships with them because they are the only women I'm attracted to because of their looks and personalities? I've had many regular conversations with SPs I've been with in the past and some could have turned into something it's just that I keep on finding new ones and there is less incentive to nurture something for 20 years later when everything has a 40% failure rate. That said I see it even less with regular women that I'm not even attracted to rather than women that makes my heart beat fast and my legs melt so why force it with a regular woman? Is it just because of the taboo of dating SPs and women of the industry?

Are you thinking of dating an SP?
You're original comments was one feeling but the last statement in this comment kind of hints youve fallen for a Companion
You are paying these women to simulate a dating experience that lacks accountability,

80watts · Monday at 3:51 AM

Pumped said:
Marriage for love is many hundreds of years old. And for poor people, it was pretty much all they had in their marriage until they produced enough kids for them to be economically viable.

We need to remember that marriage took many forms throughout history and it varies throughout different cultures as well.

I think throw in religion (catholic) and anti-divorce stance (for centuries), compared to the last 100 year (yes you can get a divorce). Its all about maintaining the children to be raised in the catholic faith.
One problem is that people don't go to church anymore... where marriage is the goal for young people (again increase generation numbers of catholics- actually a fertility cult).
The Victorian era myth that sex was for making babies. No sexual dalliances....
Go to public school, and marriage is not on the teaching schedule. Schools orient highschoolers to getting jobs, careers, university, talk about safe sex, or even purity vows (most of this is to avoid teenage pregnancy). Most movies emphasize the teenage prom as first time for sex, then they break up....

Kids today are more likely to be from divorced/broken homes and don't see marriage as a goal in life.

Pretty much marriage does not have good vibes for most people these days because the institutions have belittled it so much.

The idea of anyone man going out to fuck as many SPs as he can afford, is a wonderful idea. But the consequences of that, are that it impacts/effects on the man and the SP lives; and when the money runs out, the man is alone at the end.

Most marriages are hard. Cost of living, cost of kids. The man and woman spend so much of their time surviving the basics, it leaves no time for themselves, and usually when the kids are gone, the marriage ends. Their marriage ended when they didn't look after one another... They didnt' put the work into the marriage.

Also most marriages today, I would say they can't afford to get divorced.

There is a parable about the 2 roads before you. The open and easy road, or the twisted and hard road.

Marriage is the hard road, and SPs are the easy road.

Pumped · Monday at 6:25 AM

lukom said:
Things do go up in price, and that includes this lifestyle. This isn't simply a onetime large investment, like fishing gear and a hunting rifle, which is a lifestyle of its own. It's a luxury that goes up in price. Eventually you get old, your dingdong wont work, you'll have no one, youll be a pensioner with money that won't be enough as inflation continues. I never got married, and this will be me. However, I learned that I have a biological son, and have been reaching out, and with his mom's permission getting to know him through Facebook. They live in Alberta. So I lucked out in a way.

For every man surrounded by a loving family, there's likely some guy who isn't, even if he has family.

There's a reason care homes are full of drugged up oldies in diapers because there's no guarantees that your kids are going to be there when you need them. And they more likely need more support than you do!

You also need to look at the articles that have been published about older women who would rather live together as friends than have a man in their life. Particularly if that man needs any kind of help or support.

I'm sure life looks good for some men, but many of us should be planning for our exit strategy and get our shit in order and not try to rely on family to keep us alive just because we're related.

Bang4thebuck · Monday at 7:14 AM

Most successful people are married. Not because marriage itself improves your life but because being married to the right person improves your life in many ways. The divorce rate is high because people are stupid and marry the wrong people or marry for the wrong reasons. A lot of guys are easily whipped by abusive women and have no spine, and a lot of women go for losers who they think they can change, these rrlationships dont last. Or, people get married but don’t want to put in the work, so when they need to band together and work through everyday issues, they just give up and quit. Ive seen people divorce for reasons such as "just not feeling it anymore" or "im taking on a new job in another province and there will be too much distance", or arguments over bullshit like household chores that escalate...

Kids are a tough one. They take a lot of time and resources, unless you want to be a crappy parent. They add a lot of strain to relationships. But if you want to leave something behind that will live on beyond you, like a legacy, that's only possible through having children and being the best parent you can for them. It's also nice to have kids who will look out for you in old age, and to experience having grand children.

I knew an older businessman who had enjoyed being a life long bachelor with a lot of money. As soon as he got older, 60+, he was continually scammed by "friends" and gold diggers, and as his mental health deteriorated and he had dementia, his care takers influenced him to give them all his money and property. They then gaslit him and the few people around him that he was crazy and delusional so nobody listened to him anymore when he'd ask about his accounts. He ended up dying alone in the hospital without a penny. They didnt even let him have a phone so he could call his brother in another country one last time.

brown.sugar · Monday at 7:32 AM

I should consider myself lucky to be happily married and also get to enjoy this lifestyle openly. Doesn't really have to be official / ceremonial marriage but I think if you can find the right life partner, the benefit of having something like that is up there among the top things in life. The side effect that is codependency is worrying though.

Pumped · Monday at 10:13 AM

Bang4thebuck said:
I knew an older businessman who had enjoyed being a life long bachelor with a lot of money. As soon as he got older, 60+, he was continually scammed by "friends" and gold diggers, and as his mental health deteriorated and he had dementia, his care takers influenced him to give them all his money and property.

He likely had early onset dementia long before he started getting scammed. Or he thought, like so many people in business, that he was smarter than everyone else -- very often they're not and get scammed by other businesses, 'once in a lifetime' deals or investments, and think that their success in their business means that they have the brains to be successful in other aspects of life. Take a look at Trump and his merry band of morons for classic examples of this hubris.

Is it wrong to not want to get married and just enjoy this lifestyle?

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