Caught feelings - what do you do?

jjm86 said:

The problem is you are loyal to one SP, build a roster, then youll see things from their perspective.

They didnt get into this career field to have their Pretty woman fantasy come true.

Dude book another provider, itll help you understand the connection is strictly transactional,
Have you paid for every session?
Has she ever offered to see you outside of work?
Is the effort mutual? She texts you thru the day to see how you are, to share a funny meme

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Tsubame said:

This is definately not a suggestion for OP. The exact opposite actually.

Some guys book SPs for short getaways or hotel stay-cations. Unless it goes terribly, a little closeness must develope. Eating meals together, sightseeing, entertainment, sex in a couple type setting. Mostly just fantasy, but some unexpected true connections might be there too.

It must take dicipline to think, "okay that was fun, but it's over now". A guy could empty his bank account if he got too attached.

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Neelsmith1234 said:

Lot of valid advice here. I will add one more thing. Even if she reciprocates your feelings, would you be ok with your girl sleeping with several other men? That alone would be a reason to walk away before feelings get too strong.

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PeterPannedRedux said:

(snip)
Talking is downright awkward even though there's a lot of trust and connection physically.

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Once you go black said:

(snip)
Your feelings will pass and this will pass cause you’re not really in a relationship.

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• Dopamine: Often called the "pleasure chemical," it activates the brain's reward circuit, creating feelings of euphoria, craving, and intense motivation similar to the effects of cocaine.
• Norepinephrine: Similar to adrenaline, this chemical triggers physical symptoms like a racing heart, sweaty palms, loss of appetite, and sleeplessness.
• Phenylethylamine (PEA): A natural stimulant that causes "butterflies" in the stomach and initiates the release of dopamine and norepinephrine.
• Serotonin: Levels decrease to those comparable to people with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), leading to obsessive, intrusive thoughts about the loved one.

Larry's Torch said:

This says a lot. Can you maintain a relationship on this? Not likely.



It can be difficult because you're dealing with YOUR feelings and what you THINK she might be feeling.
Best to just step away. It might feel cruel etc., but you need to protect yourself emotionally and financially.
I'm speaking from personal experience of a broken heart and bank account. After the hormones clear out of your brain you see things as they realy are.

" The brain chemistry of infatuation is primarily driven by a surge of dopamine, norepinephrine, and phenylethylamine (PEA), alongside a significant drop in serotonin.

• Dopamine: Often called the "pleasure chemical," it activates the brain's reward circuit, creating feelings of euphoria, craving, and intense motivation similar to the effects of cocaine.
• Norepinephrine: Similar to adrenaline, this chemical triggers physical symptoms like a racing heart, sweaty palms, loss of appetite, and sleeplessness.
• Phenylethylamine (PEA): A natural stimulant that causes "butterflies" in the stomach and initiates the release of dopamine and norepinephrine.
• Serotonin: Levels decrease to those comparable to people with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), leading to obsessive, intrusive thoughts about the loved one.

AI-generated answer. Please verify critical facts. "

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Neelsmith1234 said:

Lot of valid advice here. I will add one more thing. Even if she reciprocates your feelings, would you be ok with your girl sleeping with several other men? That alone would be a reason to walk away before feelings get too strong.

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Once you go black said:

(snip)
However that being said , that infatuation and all the love chemicals that came with it have lead me to ending up in a few otherwise less than ideal relationships .
When the chemicals dropped off w time and my head cleared I realized I’d been fooled by my own brain ( or lack of ) .
This has happened to me a few times .

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Big_Guy_Rye said:

"Catching Feelings", imo, usually implies that you're envisioning a future with this person.... marry her.. have kids.. mortgage... yearly vacations to Disneyland....white picket fences,..dog and cat.

Now I'm guessing you yourself are a gentleman, since she's allowed you to see her every week. Otherwise, if you weren't, or even if she found you a little too clingy to a neurotic level, she'd probably start ghosting you for her own protection. But if this has been going on for a year, then that could only mean she's found a steady stream of reliable and 'safe' income that she can shorten her network. If she can rely on 10 other 'nice guys' to see her once a week at (ie) $500 an hour, including extras... then she doesn't need to spread herself too thin, finding other clients to top up her demanded income.

Reading the rest of your post, you're going off attractiveness, and I'll assume her 'skills' too... but I'm not hearing anything from a personal level, beyond just 'intimacy'. Not hearing how you two see each other outside those professional boundaries, or go above and beyond with her, or she with you... she's just looking good and giving your great sex.

How much do you know of her personally? Has she opened up to you completely in any small way? Told you a tragic story, farming for sympathy...?

From my own second-hand experience, as in my brother dabbled with the trade and fell into this trap with someone he saw frequently. She might be all 'sugar and spice' but once the 'transactional' becomes 'personal' there's a good chance you're going to get sucked down her spiralling life that she's kept hidden under her professionalism. One step, you're having the best sex of your life with a goddess tier provider; next step, you're in the middle of a street-beef with her 'ex-boyfriend-pimp' who's shaking you down for money she owed from a drug debt...

Now I'm not saying "Cinderella/Pretty-Woman" scenarios don't happen, they probably can... but those odds are better used buying lottery tickets.

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