Dating an SP

[whatswithme]

Okay, now, I know what the common answer is going to be "you paid her to be nice to you, she doesn't like you she likes your money" or whatever. But I'd like to start off by saying that last night was my very first night ever with an SP, so perhaps I'm just going through the first time emotions that everyone goes though.

But basically, I had a great time last night and felt like she and I kinda connected. I really like the girl and had a great time with her both when having fun and just cuddling and chatting, and she's younger so she's closer to my age.

Now, am I just being completely crazy right now? Or has it happened where two people would meet in a situation like this, and then end up dating? Is it worthwhile to come out and ask her out? Or would I be best off just to push these feelings away and forget about it completely?

Also, is this something that's totally frowned upon by SP's and agencies? Or is it more or less up to the individual girl to decide if she dates someone on her own personal time, and the results of asking someone out may vary from girl to girl?

I don't know...maybe I'm making an ass of myself even asking this, but I guess I'm pretty good at doing that...

 

[whatswithme]

Sometimes it just happens and it's definitely not unheard of.

However, there are many ladies who refuse to date clients no matter how much of a connection they might feel.

Some ladies also choose not to date at all, regardless of whether or not it is a client or not.

Hmmm...thanks. So I guess it varies depending on the lady. Does that mean it might be worthwhile to at least ask? I have nothing but good intentions, but at the same time I wouldn't want to make her feel uncomfortable at all either by just asking.

 

[who cares!!]

This is easy my friend.Ask to see her again and if she does NOT charge you, she likes you.If she keeps on wanting money, it's a job and for her, no feelings for you what so ever.I say that because if she did have feelings, she would not want to charge you.
Fellow pooners, am I right here or not?

 

[whatswithme]

This is easy my friend.Ask to see her again and if she does NOT charge you, she likes you.If she keeps on wanting money, it's a job and for her, no feelings for you what so ever.I say that because if she did have feelings, she would not want to charge you.
Fellow pooners, am I right here or not?

Well that makes perfect sense, except she works for an agency so I think she kinda has to charge, does she not?

 

[whatswithme]

I would say that if she wanted to date you, she'd ask you out herself

Damn Although it's tough to tell from the first time. Perhaps I'll have to go back, lol.

 

[Lilithlovesme]

I would say don't ask her. If she feels the same way, then she will bring it up. If you do ask her you run the risk of losing a great client/SP relationship. A good connection is a great thing to find, but it may be quite different in her mind than it is in yours.

 

[Lilithlovesme]

Took the words right outta my mouth

LOL, yes, and Holly said what I meant to say, but way more explanatory!

 

[athaire]

Dude.....the "Pretty Woman" thing doesn't really happen often. The odds are against you. My advice is this.....if you really really enjoy the time with her as you have indicated you will run the risk of fucking that all up by pushing boundaries. And believe me there are Client/Provider boundaries......

So if you must ask her be prepared to have everything change. She may laugh if off or something more sensitive, but you will never be able to regain the fantasy once you have crossed the boundry.

I think you should see other ladies before you repeat again.....

 

[whatswithme]

Seems like the general consensus is that I shouldn't ask.

To be honest, I'm not even sure what my shelf life in pooning really is. I mean, I really only did it yesterday because it looked like fun, and I had found this girl who I thought was beautiful in the pictures I had seen and actually was beautiful when we met. I had a great time, and she seemed to have a great time too. But I guess given some perspective that's what it was supposed to be.

 

[whatswithme]

Don't feel bad about being confused. There is a stereotype in the general public that escorts and clients don't feel s connection or chemistry, and that escorts don't really like their clients.

When you had a great encounter, perhaps you thought it meant that she liked you as more than a client, because it went beyond what you thought a client/provider relationship is supposed to be like. After all, enjoying each other's company, cuddling, hugging, chatting, laughing - this is not what the public thinks of when they think of sexwork. But in reality, this is a large part of what we do. I know that many of the male posters on perb mock these types of encounters. I don't know why that is, given that the majority of my encounters involve non-physical intimacy.

So perhaps when you had an amazing encounter, you thought that it was unusual, that she must feel something romantic for you. It's possible that she does, but it's more likely that she is just good at her job, likes her job, and that you did have some genuine chemistry that made for a great session.

All of the above is just speculation - it's possible something more is going on. Trust your instincts, and if you want to pursue things with her, book a few more paid encounters and see how things go.

Thank you

And thank you to everyone who has replied here. I really appreciate you all taking time out of your day to reply here, especially given that right now the discussion is really about my situation.

I'm thinking I'll probably book a couple more sessions with her and see how it goes. If there definitely feels like a connection then I'll probably ask her, if not, well at least we're having great sessions right?

 

[Bootsy]

Some SPs are really good at making you feel special, and it's an awesome feeling...but I'm under no illusion that it's anything more than what it is.

Although, who knows. It's situation specific.

 

[whatswithme]

Some SPs are really good at making you feel special, and it's an awesome feeling...but I'm under no illusion that it's anything more than what it is.

You're probably right. And perhaps I'm messed up for thinking that it could be more than what it is? I mean, maybe she doesn't feel that way. Maybe she enjoyed the time we had last night, but just doesn't think that it could go to another level or that I'd even be interested in taking it to another level?

 

[Bootsy]

You're probably right. And perhaps I'm messed up for thinking that it could be more than what it is? I mean, maybe she doesn't feel that way. Maybe she enjoyed the time we had last night, but just doesn't think that it could go to another level or that I'd even be interested in taking it to another level?

Hey dude, I've only been in this hobby for 2 months, and I know how you feel. I've had instances where the session was awesome, felt a connection and I was like "I wonder if there could ever be anything more", but I just put it aside and forget about it. It's part of the experience I think for them to make you feel like you're more than a client.

 

[whatswithme]

Well what if we think of this: what if I were willing to risk everything just to ask her out, for the chance of having something more special? Is the potential for success worth the risk? IE. I've always told myself that doing this would be a short-term kinda thing. Initially I was thinking one time thing, but I'm thinking now that I would probably go back. But even in that mindset, if it's short-term then it's not like I would be a long-time future customer, right? Is it worth it for a chance at maybe something more?

 

[SidGuy]

Let the SP set the pace. If she wants to date you...she'll let you know

 

[sonoman]

I wouldn't ask

If she wanted to date you, she'd ask you out herself

Yup. Any other situation, go ahead and make the first move, but you already have an established (business) relationship with the SP. Asking her out it she's not into it will likely change that relationship and not in a good way.

 

[sevenofnine]

there was a thread awhile back about sp's and friendship on another board.
guy after guy put his comments in, don't expect friendship from an sp. or you will just get burned.

that being said were all just people, and connections are made.
im married and im pretty up front about it with the ladies, that im not looking for anything out side of this hobby, but felt friendship with in this hobby several times,
with a couple of very special ladies. i feel very lucky, in some ways.

there are some very beautiful women out there, and i mean from the inside. that i have gotten a chance to know them,
but in all honesty i don't believe it would succeed out side of this hobby.

its easy to get along have fun with each other an hour or two at a time but the real world is quite different.

 

[BetterThenYouTRUS]

Grow a pair and ask the chick .....

Since you had to come on here and ask this dumb of a question lol

Women like men who when they see something they like they go after it and make it

theirs no matter what it takes......or is that just what I do thats why so many women like

me Not tryna be mean to you bro, but come on you shouldnt come on a pussy

poundin review website for poonin and sound like a pussy !! Just my two cents lol

 

[Pleaser]

This can happen......

whatswithme............ this can happen, without a doubt. Feelings develop and I know for a fact it is possible. I want to say however that it is very uncommon and most likely she is a very good provider.

As already mentioned, it can be very difficult for most people to deal with this sort of relationship as well.

 

[susi]

Well what if we think of this: what if I were willing to risk everything just to ask her out, for the chance of having something more special? Is the potential for success worth the risk? IE. I've always told myself that doing this would be a short-term kinda thing. Initially I was thinking one time thing, but I'm thinking now that I would probably go back. But even in that mindset, if it's short-term then it's not like I would be a long-time future customer, right? Is it worth it for a chance at maybe something more?

can i just ask......would you be comfortable with her continuing to be an SP? it seems you are interested in a long term relationship and you should consider exactly what it is you are getting into.

what if she likes her job and wants to continue?but on the other hand, i have a few men i have sex with, do not charge and consider friends....with benefits type thing. we go out sometimes and talk on the phone, but it is not a relationship....more a friendship...they know what i do and do not try to "change me".

the question i guess really is, are you really thinking through all the apects involved in an SP's life and are you willing to accept that?or are you dreaming of sex filled nights and days never leaving the bedroom....?

if you are prepared to accpet her lifestyle choices and not try to "change" or corall her, i say throw caution to the wind and ask her out!!after all, we aren't machines, we like to have friends and lovers as well....

love susie