Shown nothing but Disrepect

[ShyCourage]

In making attempts to get to know Dominant Women and spending time making it a memoriable occassion I have face nothing but disrespect from them.

Wheither it spending time going out of the way to buy flowers and bring a crafted gift with me upon meeting for the first time. Asking them out on a supper date and bring out my custom ride as well as being more than willing to pick up the tab for dinner. I have recieved being stood up time and time agian. Usually at the very last minute or please call again in a few hours only to find they don't answer. Also being solicted for a gift.

Would a Dominant Woman rather be treated as a cheap trick only to get my rocks off and pay a tribute to them. Then say to hell with them after the session til next time. Sure as hell hope not but that the picture that is being painted to me lately.

 

[edmontonsubbie]

ummmmm....

In making attempts to get to know Dominant Women and spending time making it a memoriable occassion I have face nothing but disrespect from them.

Wheither it spending time going out of the way to buy flowers and bring a crafted gift with me upon meeting for the first time. Asking them out on a supper date and bring out my custom ride as well as being more than willing to pick up the tab for dinner. I have recieved being stood up time and time agian. Usually at the very last minute or please call again in a few hours only to find they don't answer. Also being solicted for a gift.

Would a Dominant Woman rather be treated as a cheap trick only to get my rocks off and pay a tribute to them. Then say to hell with them after the session til next time. Sure as hell hope not but that the picture that is being painted to me lately.

....i gotta say shy....this is a little disturbing....

I would suspect you have incompatible expectations....any Dominant I have ever met from here on a professional basis has been...exactly that...a total professional. I will bring some sort of book that I have enjoyed and think she might like...or a picture....or some little thing that has meaning to me that I wish to pass along to her....but, I sure as hell would never expect her to go out on a supper date or take a ride on my "custom ride"....(otherwise known as a CCM bicycle)....as that is hardly the endgame on such as this.

I am procuring and paying for a service and I have yet to be disappointed in that regard. My dealings with people that I have met off of other sites such as collarme has also been, for the most part, pleasant and mutually agreeable.

Shy....it is lonely being single....but, it has rewards. I have no one to answer to at the end of the day other than myself and that has value. I know it can be frustrating but....like the most common advice ever given....be patient and wait for the right thing to come along....it will arrive....and, perhaps, you may end up wishing it never had.

kindest,

eddie.

 

[MissJasmine]

Wheither it spending time going out of the way to buy flowers and bring a crafted gift with me upon meeting for the first time. Asking them out on a supper date and bring out my custom ride as well as being more than willing to pick up the tab for dinner. I have recieved being stood up time and time agian. Usually at the very last minute or please call again in a few hours only to find they don't answer. Also being solicted for a gift.

Would a Dominant Woman rather be treated as a cheap trick only to get my rocks off and pay a tribute to them. Then say to hell with them after the session til next time. Sure as hell hope not but that the picture that is being painted to me lately.

I'm sorry you have had bad experiences with Doms. Last minute cancelling and no-showing is extremely discourteous, however many service providers do not want to be "courted" in the traditional sense whether she is a cheap (or expensive) trick or pro dom. Hopefully you will find what you are looking for

 

[ShyCourage]

Hey Eddie I am not talking about a bycycle more like a 30,000 dollar hi proformance rod. Yeah that right I own one that I keep in very good shape.

 

[ShyCourage]

Hey I got no problem treating a Pro Dom like a piece of meat it that what it boils down too. After all I have to come to reason they are in it for the money and don't give a shit about anything else. If a Pro Dom want something from me they can damn well pay fot it in the future. As well as pay their own damn tab if they want to interview before hand. I mean why not. .

It is the same as booking a session and then at the last minute cancel out or put it off a few times after a time is set do to unexpected delays then don't show.

 

[Delta_man]

not my experience

In making attempts to get to know Dominant Women and spending time making it a memoriable occassion I have face nothing but disrespect from them.

.

As someone who has been with quite a few of the regular dommes who contribute to this forum, my reaction to your post was you must be quite naïve. I doubt that most service providers are interested in establishing a relationship with their clients, and likely have a significant other already.
I have never found any of the ladies I have been with to be other than committed to the session, and to make me feel special, whether I am or not. I also have never been stood up or been short changed with a session; in fact, invariably they are overly generous. My last session 2 weeks ago with a domme was a 5 hour event, 2 hours of fun, and 3 hours of socializing. The point is it was her choice, not mine.
My impression from your other comment regarding your wonderful $30,000 car, is that it is laughable. I drive a $160,000 BMW, but so what. My suggestion is that you grow up, and realize the facts of life. If you are looking for a girlfriend, commercial domes are not likely candidates.

 

[myboy]

From personal experience, you may have to do a bit more research before you contact a dominatrix for a session.
This may involve reading reviews of dommes and then contacting only those who have positive reviews.
However, I did have an experience a few months ago where a domme actually e-mailed me and told me that she had to cancel, about a half hour before I was to see her.
She went out for lunch and got Montezuma's Revenge or somethin' like that!
I had seen her before, and so I believed her!
I replied, "That's too bad! No problem! I'll see you another time!"
Well, within a few minutes she e-mailed me back, "Thanks! Do you want to come over for a cup of coffee / tea?"
Well, I accepted her offer, as I had no place else to go!
We talked, and then I saw her the next week!
And, that session was soooo very nice!

 

[ShyCourage]

I know it disrepectful to see someone as a piece of meat even if it is a harsh reality. A quick bare bone look without the glamor or prestege.

First a customer will tell the Pro Domm what to wear be leather latex or PVC and take a look at what her body style is like.(making a selection) They may even ask for references and level of experience from the Pro Dom. (quality)

Then of course comes what fetishes they want to explore and how they want th Pro Domme to act be is strict or sensual. (preparation)

A quick final interview before the session and then comes the session (cooking). Yes you want to bring out the fantasy to the max. You want to heighten the senses. Bring out the full enjoyment of the session and leave the customer happy and wanting more. (taste) After all you are being paid for a services. Is the dungeon attractive and well laid out. (decor)

How well you pulled it off will be rewarding if the customer comes back again. Treat a customer like crap, not bring out a good session, and no returns you failed.

Customer goes away end of story.


Myself I look at a Dominant Women as someone who can stand on her own. A person to get to know become friends with and share intimate times with. One who understand my fetish the need to allow someone else to take control on occassion. Someone who can separate the difference between playing and reality.The reality to accept me as I am, who I am, and know that submission is only a small part of the full picture. It would help me from going into dark places, to be better behaved, and know I also have her best interest at heart. Not be a big disappointment or face the consquence for my actions.

 

[MissJasmine]

First a customer will tell the Pro Domm what to wear be leather latex or PVC and take a look at what her body style is like.(making a selection)

If you are PVC/ latex fetishist dress up can be an important part of play and something you should communicate before arriving...either way asking a dom to change on the spot is done on your time and not hers.

They may even ask for references

Actually its the other way around. Many doms will ask you for references from other pro doms. If you need references check reviews

How well you pulled it off will be rewarding if the customer comes back again. Treat a customer like crap, not bring out a good session, and no returns you failed.

This is generally true about any service. However it is as much a client's responsiblity to be open about his needs as it is a dom's to be in tune with them. Most gents who have been in the "scene" for a while session with a few ladies before finding one who shares perfect chemistry. Others who enjoy variety want to try a different domme every time.

Someone who can separate the difference between playing and reality

Between the $30,000 car comment and the "becoming friends" one I'm wondering where you make that separation...

 

[dan1]

disrepect - respect

Hey ShyCourage.

I too am sorry that you have been stood up by pros with whom you want to add a bit, for lack of a better word, romance to the session.

You might try the following....

Have a session with a domme that you think you will be compatible with. Be really clear in a couple of emails regarding what you like and don't like etc. It is amazing how incoherent people can be. Look for a domme that is interested in fantasy role playing outside the straight BDSM (great oxymoron!)

Have the session. If you like the session, plan another one with the Domme. In this one you might ask that the session starts out of the office . Perhaps at a coffee shop, restaurant or wherever (should be a public place). Realize however that you are paying for a highly specialized service. The clock is going to start ticking when the session starts and the session is going to be starting when the Domme shows up at the meeting place. Hell, there might even be a fee for traveling down to met you. Needless to say you will be picking up the tab for dinner and taxis etc. Incidentally, I suspect that you have a really nice car, but if I was a domme, I would not get into your car - so plan on taking taxis.....

Just remember, always remember that you are paying for a service. Don't fall in love because it is highly unlikely it will be reciprocated.

Good luck, have fun and play safe!

dan

 

[ShyCourage]

Of course I understand this what other are missing here about getting into my vehicle is I know the Pro Domme, She contacted me when things got rough and agreed to at first go for supper. We have mutual friend in the Lifestyle who can voucher for one another.

I wouldn't expect someone I didn't know to just come for a ride with me that just plain stupid. Besides I also listen to my friends advice if it is suggested I let it go or drop the issue.

Also I am not about to have someone rape my wallet, or my emotions only to play me for my money. I am not very well off but I do have things others work hard for which I got threw a lot of hardships and misfortunes I faced.

Someone who asks how much of a budget do you have to work with is also sending a red flag. I have am not fully versed in watch out for the red flags. When returning the question of asking what is their tribute I get no answer.

 

[submissive_one]

First off all women, whether pro-doms or otherwise are very expensive, as are children, holidays, etc. Nothing comes cheap in life.

But in response to what most have posted here, i strongly disagree with most of you. i have known many of the premier pro-doms in this city, and i know for a fact that most have dated clients and most are currently living with, dating, fucking or even married to what they now call former clients. As a matter of fact, i am guessing there are no more than 1 or maybe 2 that post here that can say otherwise, and i think one of those already posted on this thread. So i disagree that sub/clients cannot date, fuck, be a boyfriend or even marry a so-called professional domina. After all, it is easier for them to be with somebody in the lifestyle than explain it all to some vanilla guy that would never understand it.

Having said all that, it doesn't mean that all or even any of the members of this particular board to get that opportunity. Even just dining with one is a privilege based on their desire to go or not. And we, especially us submissive ones, should respect their desires, even if that becomes sad or disturbing for us.

Not easy being a sub to beautiful dominas that's for sure.

 

[ShyCourage]

Thans submissive one we all know that most in the Lifestyle don't like to be called on their crap.

Just like i know at least three couples where a Pro Dom is married threw the Lifestyle.

After alll I really do know what it like to be disrepected when all I have to do is look back at alt.com. Wonder why most don't go there anymore let alone make any compensation to the one willing to stand up from the start. Course it will never happen most sweep it under the rug.

 

[sub882]

In making attempts to get to know Dominant Women and spending time making it a memoriable occassion I have face nothing but disrespect from them.

Wheither it spending time going out of the way to buy flowers and bring a crafted gift with me upon meeting for the first time. Asking them out on a supper date and bring out my custom ride as well as being more than willing to pick up the tab for dinner. I have recieved being stood up time and time agian. Usually at the very last minute or please call again in a few hours only to find they don't answer. Also being solicted for a gift.

Would a Dominant Woman rather be treated as a cheap trick only to get my rocks off and pay a tribute to them. Then say to hell with them after the session til next time. Sure as hell hope not but that the picture that is being painted to me lately.

Sorry you got stood-up.

But... it seems to me a bit unreasonable to swing to what seems to me to be an extreme view. I hear a lot of black and white thinking, whereas the reality is probably grey (ie. somehwere between the extremes). Just because a pro-domme does not follow through on your friendship or intimacy expectations does not mean that she is treating you like a "piece of meat" or that she in return wants to be treated like a "cheap trick".

A pro-domme is by definition a professional. They first and foremost provide a professional service. But that doesn't mean to say that they do not want to form good relationships with clients. My accountant is a professional who provides a professional service. But when I "use" him that doesn't mean that he sees me as a "piece of meat" or vice-versa. I want my relationship with him to be trusting and open a friendly. But that doesn't mean to say I want to be intimate friends with him (or her).

If friendship with a pro-domme develops... great. But to go in with that expectation is, generally speaking, too much of an expectation. Can it happen? Of course it can happen. Over the years I've developed friendships with a number of pro-dommes, enjoyed social times with them, etc. I have never been stood up, and I have never felt that they have promised more than they delivered.

I also think you need to be careful that you don't drawn conclusions about pro-dommes generally from your one instance. Just because you see one cat with 3 legs doesn't mean all cats have 3 legs. That's just a non-logical conclusion.

 

[ShyCourage]

sub 882 I think you need to read the whole paragraph before making a comment. The last sentence summed it up.

 

[ShyCourage]

Furthermore I like to see a Pro Dom show me my eras of my way and prove to me I been wrong. I am not saying there are not some good Pro Dom out there I am say lately the taste in my mouth is bitter.

 

[sub882]

Furthermore I like to see a Pro Dom show me my eras of my way and prove to me I been wrong. I am not saying there are not some good Pro Dom out there I am say lately the taste in my mouth is bitter.

Okay... a bitter taste in your mouth. I've experienced that as well and know what that's like, but that doesn't mean that I tar all pro-dommes with the same broad brush.

How many bad experiences is this bitter taste based on? And with how many pro-dommes?

 

[ShyCourage]

[

I think though, that the op should not have any kind of expectation whatsoever that the pro domme he is seeing would become a friend outside of the business relationship. It might happen, sure, but expecting it is definitely going to make him disappointed, most, if not all, of the time.

Nina hmm doesn't that fall back on what I really don't want to treat a Pro Dom like a cheap trick or a treat them like a piece of meat. No expectation of friendship outside the business relationship. Your there to play then leave the Pro Dom the hell alone and don't communicate with them until your ready to play again. Knowing the only way the friendship or relationship would work is your paying for it to work.

Just simply go to an encounter with no expectations of anything else but what is at hand. Then afterwards walk away maybe a simple hello, not even a coffee after cause that would be business.

Don't expect aftercare from a Pro Dom on the way down that would be classified as work.

 

[MissJasmine]

I didn't read anywhere that you cant date, fuck, befriend or marry a pro dom, but a real friendship/relationship isn't readily available like a commodity. Things are so different when money is not involved

One of my closest friends happens to be also be an ex-client, but it took over a year and a few storms to become as close as we are now, and it was anything but expected.

I've also enjoyed a few NSA meals with clients and gents from "the scene", including at least one who responded to this thread. All is good when there is no hidden agenda.

What I have a problem with are the "personal slave wannabees" who book a session through our websites expecting us to be 1) single and looking, and 2) interested in an ongoing arrangement.

I also know that what many pro doms seek in their own intimate relationships dont reflect what they want in their professional ones, otherwise every sub would be married to their dom.

Personally I've found vanilla guys to be generally understanding and I haven't had a problem balancing dating them and my job. I actually enjoy the thrill of surprising and corrupting the innocent ones that I meet outside the scene...but hey thats just my perverted self.

 

[edmontonsubbie]

I have pretty much already said what I wanted to say about all this in the original reply....what has followed has only served to confirm my original suspicion and make me feel kinda bad for taking shy's side on that "issue" he had with those two Dommes with the big ranch deal....there's always two sides to every story....and shy yours has become significantly less credible, but that's the beauty of such a forum as this...it affords everyone the right to say and do whatever the hell they like even if it involves shooting themselves in the foot. I am sure this will afford you the opportunity to go bitter on me if you wish/choose/whatever and, so, before you do...I agree...your dad is bigger than my dad....you know more and cooler people than I do....you are smarter....better looking....etc, etc, etc.

Oh, by the way Purr....I am so sorry about my insane reaction to your funny reply about HisPaniks small penis thing....I just didn't "get" the intention behind your post but I have laughed about it since cuz it was, in fact, pretty funny....so, my apologies. I'm terrible at double entendre and abstract shapes...my daughter will point at a cloud and say "see the unicorn with two stripes????"....I'll say...."of course baby"....without a single clue what the heck I was looking at beyond a large puffy mass of water vapour.

In any event, this thread is kinda funny and I think I will just pedal down to the corner store on my CCM and pick up some popcorn as I do have the entire day off and no place to go. This is like one of those really bad B movies that you just can't take your eyes off...."what will happen next????"

eddie.