Asian Fever

Interesting article on sex trade as an addiction from the SP perspective.

chris2008

New member
Aug 25, 2008
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Overgeneralization or some valid points? Interesting to hear what others have to say who are actually in it and help if someone needs it.

http://www.edmontonsun.com/News/Edmonton/2008/10/03/6961991-sun.html

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Never mind the drugs and booze that go hand-in-hand with the sex trade - prostitution itself is an addiction.

So says Lauren Casey, a Victoria, B.C., researcher, advocate and former prostitute.

She says there must be specialized rehab for people addicted to a lifestyle that's built around fast, easy money, living on the edge and the heady rush of power over others.

Casey is in Edmonton talking to local cops, social workers and health-care professionals about the Sex Workers Addressing Treatment program, which she developed with B.C. social worker Barbara Smith.

"We need to focus on sex-work-specific issues," she said yesterday at a seminar at the Alberta Avenue community hall.

SWAT, she explained, is intended to explode the myths about the sex trade and help people trapped in the habit-forming cycle of prostitution. It's the first of its kind in Canada, with test programs launched at rehab centres in Kelowna and Victoria.

The program is designed to recognize "the distinct culture of sex work and the impact that it has on the people who work in the industry."

Myths about the sex trade persist, she explained, because most research into the sex trade has been conducted solely on street prostitution, which represents only 10% to 20% of the industry. The rest is "inside," in escort agencies, massage parlours and on the Internet.

It's a common misconception, she said, that the vast majority of women go into the sex trade to pay for their drug and alcohol addictions.

In fact, Casey said, only a "tiny minority" who get into it are already addicts. While drug addiction is rampant in the sex trade, most prostitutes develop drug addictions after they go into the business.


Her research found that, by far, most women go into it for the fast money, and it's that easy cash that becomes the most addictive part.

But often they turn to drugs as the business grinds them down emotionally and spiritually.

People in the sex trade routinely lose their sense of identity, partly because of the need to keep parts of their lives secret.


"I was four different people," Casey said.

To some she was a sex worker, to others she was a heavy crack-cocaine user and party girl, to others she was a struggling university student and to the rest she was a member of mainstream society.

"I've been out of it for eight years and I'm just starting to know who I am," she said.

Casey also found that one of the biggest reasons people go back to the sex trade after leaving is boredom.

The struggle of living on a budget, without the adrenalin rush and excitement that goes with the business, can lead them to relapse.


SWAT, she said, is designed to address issues that traditional addiction treatment methods can't.

One former prostitute and recovering crack-cocaine addict, who had to go into rehab six times before she was able to stay clean and sober, said a program like SWAT would have saved her years of misery.

"If I had gone through this I would have recovered 10 years earlier," she said.

Dawn Hodgins of the Prostitution Awareness and Action Coalition of Edmonton, which brought Casey to the city, said the organization wants to see addictions treatment centres in Alberta adopt the program.
 

Lady Companion

Playful, Classy, Sweet & Sassy!
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Sep 21, 2004
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www.ClassyAngel.com
There are certainly some valid points in there

but as with everything, we need to be careful not to generalize.

I am the first to agree that this is a multi dimentional business to be in, and the reasons we are all here are so varied and change over time.

Cleary it is a difficult industry to get out of, as can be evidenced by the number of ladies who retire, only to return a few weeks or a few months later.

I did find it interesting that this article was written in Edmonton, and that the majority of escorts in edmonton work for massage parlors or agencies. I'm sure that those ladies again fall into a very different demographic than independent ladies. I'm not speaking for all ladies who choose to work under somebody, but it does seem that the majority do so because they don't have the business/organizational/finacial skills to do it on their own (and/or they aren't willing to learn them in order to become independent). For these ladies, entering a job in the 'real world' becomes much more daunting, as they are much more likely to continue having to work under somebody for much less income than they earn as being a companion.

I'm much more familiar with the independent Vancouver escort scene, and can really only speak from my expereince here.

Being an independent courtesan is a full time job before our billable hours start. Personally, I spend an average of 40 hours a week with emails, phone calls, screening, updating my website, perusing these boards to see what is going on, researching advertising, modifying my target demographic etc. I woud say that any lady who has been successful at being independent for any length of time has the attitude and aptitude to be an entrapreneur in other capacities - many of which would, could and do pay much more than this one does.

This 'job' provides a lot more than just money for many of us. A number of those positives are simply things which apply to being your own boss in any capacity; control over your business, ability to schedule your days and weeks (say hello to the 84 hour work week :) ) the fulfillment of being generative, growing and learning about yourself and the world, social interaction etc.

Unfortnately for those ladies looking to get out of this industry, there are also a host of other positives here which are difficult to come by in other industries, even if you are running the show. There is the truly diverse cross section of people we have the opportunity to meet, there are the expereinces and travel which come with those, there is the excitement of doing something which is considered a little taboo, and the immediate gratification of seeing that you are able to please somebody in more ways than one. Oddly what isn't often talked about is the self esteem that one can derive from this. Sure, any entrapreneur can feel empowered, but how many have the luxury of being continually told how wonderful they are from a physical, mental and social persective? It's very difficult to find another type of company which will provide all of that.
 

CODe333

New member
Apr 14, 2008
159
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Vancouver area
People who find meaningful work while also living an interesting, balanced and healthy life are probably quite rare – in any field. I don’t see why the SP profession should be any different. There are all kinds of programs aimed at helping folks in trouble so I don’t find it surprising that presentations or programs like this one by an ex-sp exist. But the story, even with its positive features, still leaves one with the impression that sex work is fundamentally negative in some unique way. It’s nice that the story presented statistics challenging the addiction stero-type for SPs but the story still insists on presenting the monetary challenges of ex-sps as a negative outcome that is somehow especially problematic for sps. The truth is the vast majority of people do not manage money well and it’s hard to believe that they are all addicts in any meaningful sense because they prefer a career where the money is good. I have no problem with someone helping working ladies to get a handle on the financial aspect of their lives but I cannot fathom why their situation is thought to be worse just because the money comes from fucking. For all its positive spin I still felt the article wanted me to think, “Yes, it’s just another horrible aspect of a horrible profession.” I cannot help but wonder what the reaction would be to an article in which Lady_Companion or Beautiful_Anna were to discourse publicly and positively about how wonderful and rewarding their lives have been as a result of their profession of choice. But I suspect that both ladies are examples of individuals who have found meaningful work and have achieved at least some modest level of balance and success. I admit I don’t know either woman, so I am assuming. Of course that they are beautiful, successful and happy women would cause some people to be jealous even apart from what they do. That they make a good living from "sin" would just be an added outrage to these folks. Personally I love meeting successful people from any field and I'd love to see business and investment seminars for SPs. If I'm really lucky maybe the nice big retirement property next to mine will be owned by one of these ladies. And maybe she invite me over for cocktails. I should be so lucky.

Oh, and thanks ladies for sharing. And please forgive my rant.
 

jackryan02

New member
Nov 29, 2004
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Based on this opening line:

"Never mind the drugs and booze that go hand-in-hand with the sex trade"

I can tell that the author has been using his journalism degree as a Kleenex.
 

tantalizeme

wolf in sheep's clothing
Oct 5, 2007
1,512
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It's a common misconception, she said, that the vast majority of women go into the sex trade to pay for their drug and alcohol addictions....But often they turn to drugs as the business grinds them down emotionally and spiritually.
To what extent is this true? What does "often" here mean—5% of SPs? 50%?

...there are also a host of other positives here which are difficult to come by in other industries, even if you are running the show. There is the truly diverse cross section of people we have the opportunity to meet, there are the expereinces and travel which come with those, there is the excitement of doing something which is considered a little taboo, and the immediate gratification of seeing that you are able to please somebody in more ways than one. Oddly what isn't often talked about is the self esteem that one can derive from this. Sure, any entrapreneur can feel empowered, but how many have the luxury of being continually told how wonderful they are from a physical, mental and social persective? It's very difficult to find another type of company which will provide all of that.
Ah, Lady Companion—your healthy, wise and cheery outlook on your chosen vocation, couched in beautiful words, touches this pooner's heart.

I'm sure you add something important and enriching to the life of everyone who steps into the radiance of your being.

I agree with CODe333 that it would be great if people like you could go on TV to give the public your perspective—I sincerely hope one day you will.
 

Willingham

Banned
Sep 7, 2006
457
0
0
I know I will never love a 'real' job as much as I love this one. I don't know when I'm retiring but I know I'll be mourning that day. It will be a huge loss for me, I just know it.

I'm sad just thinking about it. Where else can I do what I love most for my livelihood?
Maybe I'm a bit of a sex addict too, or I'm addicted to being praised for a job well done.

xoxo
Nina
In some ways I envy you, in other ways it makes me angry...I know, I should take a chill pill - its just sex.. For me, I had to stop seeing ladies because it did a number on my psyche, I am complicated that way.

You are paid extremely well because men are suckers and they think with the little head, not the big head. One hour a day can keep you more than happy. It takes me a long days work to take home what you make in 1 hour. I went to University for 5 years to do it.

I know you give your body away and all that.. I don't buy it...literally. As long as men are alive and breathing, you will do more than fine.
 

edmontonsubbie

Edmontonsubbie
Apr 22, 2006
1,307
19
38
113
uh...Edmonton.
You know, the giving away of my body, I was doing BEFORE getting into this business .. and I don't really feel that I am accepting money for that part of an encounter. This is the absolute least of what the money is about for me.

I feel that the loss of freedom I have had to sustain by not being able to be upfront and honest with what I do to the straight world, my family, and most of my friends is where most of the money I earn is what I'm being paid for. The rest is earned for professionalism-discretion and incall location.

Just think of what it's like to have to live a double life before you hate so easily. Imagine being outed and being treated like a pariah.

Any woman who would do this job cheaply is either really bad at it, not suited for it, or really really stupid.

The high pay is because it just would not be worth it otherwise.

I wish I had gone to university and worked as hard as you did when I was right out of highschool, but I foolishly and stupidly threw away my future for a boyfriend. I can enjoy this profession for a very short time, maybe 2 more years I am guessing, and then I'll have a nice big hole in my resume when I try to get work again. Try explaining that. I'm now thinking my only option is going back to school.

Oh by the way, that one hour? It takes me about 4 hours a day to do all the things I need to do to make that one hour appointment.. so take my hour rate and divide by 5.

Still hate me?

xoxo
Nina
nah...i love the humanity of that recount. I like that you get annoyed enough to post against the wind.

I am filling in holes in my resume....it's interesting...but, to say that I wished I hadn't found the need to done so...would pretty much say that I regretted the choices I have made. Some I regret...most I don't.

We all have the same moral compass. It's what seperates us from the apes.
 

spinynorman

New member
Aug 25, 2008
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in the dumpster behind YOUR place
wish I had gone to university and worked as hard as you did when I was right out of highschool, but I foolishly and stupidly threw away my future for a boyfriend. I can enjoy this profession for a very short time, maybe 2 more years I am guessing, and then I'll have a nice big hole in my resume when I try to get work again. Try explaining that. I'm now thinking my only option is going back to school.

Don't sweat the university thing. It obviously took brains for you to succeed in what is a tough profession. The world is run by MBA's from Ivy League colleges and look at the titanic FUBAR they've passed on to the rest of us peons. As for your resume looking like swiss cheese, I sympathize. I haven't worked for anyone else since '91! I'm gonna have to make shit up!
 

mistressfreyja

New member
Aug 25, 2008
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Well said.

Lady Companion wrote, it is varied, and no 'one mould' fits. That's why no one should be upset if we don't offer this service or that. We each fill in the blanks.

As for time spent, promoting oneself, it's very time-consuming. In addition to my personal submissives, that I derive great joy from, I also see clients, which is a completely different dynamic. I love the parallels, but I love the differences, mostly. Each experience offers me something different. And neither one, can mitigate on behalf of the other, because they are simply different.

Anyway, we're all different people. This is why there is a review board, and why every SP isn't for everyone.

I agree with Beautiful Anna! How wonderful we live in a country of choice. Let's keep it that way!

xxx Mistress Freyja xxx




but as with everything, we need to be careful not to generalize.

I am the first to agree that this is a multi dimentional business to be in, and the reasons we are all here are so varied and change over time.

Cleary it is a difficult industry to get out of, as can be evidenced by the number of ladies who retire, only to return a few weeks or a few months later.

I did find it interesting that this article was written in Edmonton, and that the majority of escorts in edmonton work for massage parlors or agencies. I'm sure that those ladies again fall into a very different demographic than independent ladies. I'm not speaking for all ladies who choose to work under somebody, but it does seem that the majority do so because they don't have the business/organizational/finacial skills to do it on their own (and/or they aren't willing to learn them in order to become independent). For these ladies, entering a job in the 'real world' becomes much more daunting, as they are much more likely to continue having to work under somebody for much less income than they earn as being a companion.

I'm much more familiar with the independent Vancouver escort scene, and can really only speak from my expereince here.

Being an independent courtesan is a full time job before our billable hours start. Personally, I spend an average of 40 hours a week with emails, phone calls, screening, updating my website, perusing these boards to see what is going on, researching advertising, modifying my target demographic etc. I woud say that any lady who has been successful at being independent for any length of time has the attitude and aptitude to be an entrapreneur in other capacities - many of which would, could and do pay much more than this one does.

This 'job' provides a lot more than just money for many of us. A number of those positives are simply things which apply to being your own boss in any capacity; control over your business, ability to schedule your days and weeks (say hello to the 84 hour work week :) ) the fulfillment of being generative, growing and learning about yourself and the world, social interaction etc.

Unfortnately for those ladies looking to get out of this industry, there are also a host of other positives here which are difficult to come by in other industries, even if you are running the show. There is the truly diverse cross section of people we have the opportunity to meet, there are the expereinces and travel which come with those, there is the excitement of doing something which is considered a little taboo, and the immediate gratification of seeing that you are able to please somebody in more ways than one. Oddly what isn't often talked about is the self esteem that one can derive from this. Sure, any entrapreneur can feel empowered, but how many have the luxury of being continually told how wonderful they are from a physical, mental and social persective? It's very difficult to find another type of company which will provide all of that.
 

FortunateOne

Banned
Jan 29, 2008
1,693
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0
vancouver
On a related topic:

In some ways I envy you, in other ways it makes me angry...I know, I should take a chill pill - its just sex.. For me, I had to stop seeing ladies because it did a number on my psyche, I am complicated that way.

You are paid extremely well because men are suckers and they think with the little head, not the big head. One hour a day can keep you more than happy. It takes me a long days work to take home what you make in 1 hour. I went to University for 5 years to do it.

I know you give your body away and all that.. I don't buy it...literally. As long as men are alive and breathing, you will do more than fine.
Resenting the sps for offering a service is your problem, not theirs. Angry men made rude, obnoxious and aggressive clients, who no doubt make the bad date lists that circulate. There are so many sps who charge far less than 350/hr that the guys who constantly throw out that figure simply look like jackasses, IMO.

Sps don't give their bodies away, and you can't buy them: you can, however, "rent" them for a short period of time :p . You pay them to be available 24-7, and to provide the sorts of services with the kind of attitudes you don't/won't/can't find at home. If they didn't get paid, they couldn't be available at your convenience.

I am often amazed at the contempt and hostility towards women and sps that some posters exhibit on an escort review forum. It's just a weird place to show it, also IMO.
 

CODe333

New member
Apr 14, 2008
159
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Vancouver area
For me, I had to stop seeing ladies because it did a number on my psyche, I am complicated that way.
Willingham I know you're honestly working to come to terms with deeply hurtful matters in your life but that comment speaks volumes about your current emotional impasse. You need to take full responsibility for your own emotions. Removing yourself from situations harmful to your psyche is absolutely necessary but will be of limited value for healing until you understand that you are your psyche and have total control over how it responds to events and situations no matter how difficult. What you wrote makes it sound like the problems are all out there beyond your control, that you're just a poor victim of circumstances in which you played no part. True, you can't control all the events around you but you have total control over how you respond to them. If every SP around magically vanished and your boss gave you a huge raise tomorrow you'd still be that unhappy little guy who feels everything happens to him rather than the one who makes his own reality because he particpates fully in creating his whole life. I don't intend to be harsh here but this is what occurs to me as I read your post. Take it for what you will. I wish you well as I know your struggle is genuine. You sound too smart to let yourself continue in this unprodutive mode.
 

AA_Train

Registered AWESOME
Jul 19, 2007
768
2
18
In some ways I envy you, in other ways it makes me angry...I know, I should take a chill pill - its just sex.. For me, I had to stop seeing ladies because it did a number on my psyche, I am complicated that way.

You are paid extremely well because men are suckers and they think with the little head, not the big head. One hour a day can keep you more than happy. It takes me a long days work to take home what you make in 1 hour. I went to University for 5 years to do it.

I know you give your body away and all that.. I don't buy it...literally. As long as men are alive and breathing, you will do more than fine.

From the client standpoint, I can understand how it can mess with one's psyche; beautiful women catering to you, pleasuring you in every sense of the word. It's nice, it's exhilarating, it's real but it's onlt temporary. I look at it as a vacation and you have to come home once it's done and deal with your life. i've never seen it as just sex. I look at is a paying to get the best of a beautiful woman without all the games, judgement and ceremony. it's indulgent, it's excessive and it's fun. If you can't deal with, STOP. Don't speak ill of them because you have problems.

If men had the same opportunities with their sexuality, many would try to turn it into profit. It's just like any other business; the ones who take care of it do well, the ones who don't get run into the ground. I think the ladies who find it taxing, as mentioned in the article, are either bad business people, have no work/life balance or have addictive personalities and their addiction is sex but drugs and alcohol may also be in the picture. The vast majority of the women in this business have signifigantly higher sex drives than most other woman and it may get the best of them. The tough thing about sex is that it is so much a large part of our personal lives that those who are SPs may have a tough time in their persoanl life so it takesa toll. Others can manage it better.

The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings.
 

wet_suit_one

Rule by Fear!
May 19, 2004
244
2
0
As a first post

I agree with Lady Companion. She is most wise (and most beautiful).

In my study of this business and consideration on it, it is clearly the case that people make their bed and then they lie in them. Those who are smart about money, smart about their own well being and smart about their own emotions and thoughts (this goes for both pooners and providers) do well. Those who fail to smart about these things suffer.

Also, the fact of the matter (or so every man I've ever met tells me) all men pay. Women don't have to "give it away" for free so they don't. They demand fidelity. They demand marriage. They demand time, attention, love, care and affection. All of these cost men something. Those men who want to give something else, namely money, and still get laid go to providers. Those men who fail to understand what the deal is are and will be unhappy because they will always be thinking they got screwed because they thought they were buying something else.

It also seems to me, that women who fail to understand the nature of the deal and who fail to know themselves well enough to know if they can deliver on their part of the bargain are those who get into difficulties and suffer.

I should note that wiser men know that there is something of real value in having a woman who really loves you for you and will go to the ends of the earth for you. Then again, finding such a woman is a difficult task and doing what is necessary and just for such a woman is a difficult task as well. Sadly, due to the laws in place in our country now, and given the difficulty of finding such a woman, it seems to me that this endeavour is no longer worth undertaking. It's too emotionally and economically dangerous to a man's well being. Rather less so for a woman IMHO.

It is truly too bad that we feed our populace so much bullshit about how male-female romantic relationships actually work. It has always been and always be about a deal of some sort. It may be more or less "transactional" in nature, but there will always be a price paid both by the woman and by the man. The happiest couples are those who are able to bargain for mutually satisfactory terms. The unhappy couples are those who fail to understand that there is a deal and that it has a price. They also fail to see the value in their significant other and in how they must pay for that value. There may be those who give love away freely (perhaps even too freely), but most people want to be treated justly by their significant others. It's not too long before resentment and anger set in and then things fall apart.

Sure is a hard world out there.

I for my part think that the providers should be free (as they essentially are) to do what they do. It's a free country and it's their body. Let them decide and let them suffer the consequences or rewards of their decision making. Why it should be otherwise, I do not understand (except that you buy the idea that someone else should control your or anyone else's fate. I do not).

Freedom can be a bitch, and I'm sure many older more experienced providers know this. I know that older strippers know it too. The good thing is, I've met enough smart strippers who have invested well and had a plan to make their pile of loot and retire, that I know without a doubt that many women in the trade are smart operators who will do well.

The real question is, how do wives compete? They have every advantage and yet they still blow it. How does that happen? Men aren't that complicated? Assuming you can defeat a man's desire to know something else, how hard can it possibly be? Ehhh.... I suppose that's why I'm not married or in a relationship.
 

kidstone

lap dog
Feb 5, 2006
191
0
0
In this work a day world there are few people who make huge money doing the thing they love most.

It's much more common that a person 1) makes huge money for doing something they don't enjoy 2) makes little money for doing the thing they love or 3) makes little money for doing something they don't enjoy.

Where are the social workers for those of us in factories and production plants, ruining our health with physical task that strain our bodies and expose us to toxins, then go home to veg out in front of the TV because we have no energy for anything else? Aren't these people just as exploited, just as prone to addiction and self-destructive behaviour, just as locked in their narrow choices, with no idea of how to get out, unable to leave their jobs because of a mountain of debts?

Let's form a task force for these people. But if we got them out of the life, where would industry find their workers? The economy would collapse. So we allow people to be used as wage slaves and ignore their suffering and pain.
 

mistressfreyja

New member
Aug 25, 2008
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Brilliant response.

That was a really interesting and pertinent thing to write.

xxx Mistress Freyja xxx


In this work a day world there are few people who make huge money doing the thing they love most.

It's much more common that a person 1) makes huge money for doing something they don't enjoy 2) makes little money for doing the thing they love or 3) makes little money for doing something they don't enjoy.

Where are the social workers for those of us in factories and production plants, ruining our health with physical task that strain our bodies and expose us to toxins, then go home to veg out in front of the TV because we have no energy for anything else? Aren't these people just as exploited, just as prone to addiction and self-destructive behaviour, just as locked in their narrow choices, with no idea of how to get out, unable to leave their jobs because of a mountain of debts?

Let's form a task force for these people. But if we got them out of the life, where would industry find their workers? The economy would collapse. So we allow people to be used as wage slaves and ignore their suffering and pain.
 
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