I've been seeing an SP consistently for about a year at an AMP. I went from seeing her once a month to lately once a week. She's really kind to me and I do everything I can to be a great client for her. She's always happy to see me and we have great physical chemistry but we've just never found our social stride in that time. Talking is downright awkward even though there's a lot of trust and connection physically. I realized today that I've created a weird fantasy around her in my mind and I think I'm subtly (I hope subtly!) forcing a type of intimacy on her that she doesn't want.
My problem is that I don't know what to do. I realize I'm the dummy for turning this into something bigger in my head when she was just doing her job! Do I just have to stop seeing this person? I'm so attracted to her that it breaks my brain, and obviously I don't want to stop going! But I genuinely can't perform lately because of the fantasy version that's not happening and my self-judgement about it all. It's like I'm torturing myself and I'm so in my head about it.
Surely this has happened to some gents before - a sort of unrequited desire for more intimacy and care. Is the solution to go cold turkey? Do I book a session just to talk to her and let her know I caught feelings and I'm sorry and that's why I won't be back? I've really lost perspective on this. Any help is appreciated!
My problem is that I don't know what to do. I realize I'm the dummy for turning this into something bigger in my head when she was just doing her job! Do I just have to stop seeing this person? I'm so attracted to her that it breaks my brain, and obviously I don't want to stop going! But I genuinely can't perform lately because of the fantasy version that's not happening and my self-judgement about it all. It's like I'm torturing myself and I'm so in my head about it.
Surely this has happened to some gents before - a sort of unrequited desire for more intimacy and care. Is the solution to go cold turkey? Do I book a session just to talk to her and let her know I caught feelings and I'm sorry and that's why I won't be back? I've really lost perspective on this. Any help is appreciated!






