what are your thoughts on repeats vs variety?

[sddghkfd]

As a new pooner, I've only repeated with a girl once. I mainly stick to agencies, plus one instance of PDC (collective). I enjoy the variety plus my favorite agency has quite a bit of turnover. Usually the girl I saw last isn't working the next time I'm looking.

Does the experience get better the more you see a girl? It makes intuitive sense since she becomes more comfortable and gets an idea of what you like

On the other hand, as someone with an additive personality (literally addicted to every form of dopamine minus hard drugs), I'm afraid of catching the feels

 

[rinamood]

Does the experience get better the more you see a girl? It makes intuitive sense since she becomes more comfortable and gets an idea of what you like

Repeat bookings and duration of time between such bookings are both factors to YMMV. Comfort and chemistry - you know when you see and feel it so you can tell who you could grow this with. For me, the extent of YMMV is vast. It's something unique built between two people. I do not see any of my client-SP relationships as replicable, and I cherish the time that life affords us to enjoy it.

Variety hunters? You get my natural chemistry that forms based off the first impression you give me. If you're gonna go in only ONCE, then you better come right and ready 🌸✨

Either way, it is an honour to have been chosen and connected 😇

 

[angry anderson]

Just when you think it couldn't get any better, they dump you.

 

[oldshark]

I would say the majority of the time that when you see a girl more than once, the experience does get better. You have to be careful of your feelings to the girls and not become obsessed. But it is very comfortable to go back to a woman who enjoys her time with you. I have seen one girl on an irregular basis for 8 years, and many others for the last 1 to 7 years.

 

[Fiona]

Both are fun , if we have chemistry it’s fabulous 🥰as when you really know someone it’s straight to the fun stuff . I’ve seen two clients the past couple weeks I’ve been seeing for over 15 years , so fun. Major “GFE” energy , but the hot unknown is so fun too , 🔥. The travelling business men are fun like that , you never know what you’re gonna get .

 

[Fiona]

Usually we have a very good reason even if you don’t know it. 💋

Just when you think it couldn't get any better, they dump you.

 

[Dick Ford]

The age-old debate of quality vs quantity. And that's not to say that you can't have quality dates the first time with a new provider, but it is harder as there are so many unknowns and variables that could derail your fun (e.g. nerves, not clearly communicating your desires, general first-date awkardness, lack of chemistry, etc.).

I prefer a regular situation myself, but it is easy as a romantic to fall hard for an amazing regular after many dates and deeper connections form. I'm always willing to take that chance, though, as the best sex I've ever had was with long-time regulars.

 

[204fun]

Early on in my time seeing SP's I was like a kid in a candy store and rarely repeated with any lady that I would see. I found after a number of years that the allure of one or two new SP's every month started to fade. There were still some bucket list things I was looking for or particular ladies I wanted to see, but as time wore on the allure of something new kind of took a backseat to guaranteed chemistry and comfort.

After almost 8-years I find I'm now mostly just seeing my one regular SP (not nearly as frequently as I used to) and there is a special level of enjoyment in knowing that we can pick up right where we left off every time we see each other and the sex will always be absolutely incredible.

If you're worried about catching feelings and know that you are someone who is prone to forming attachments like that quite quickly then do what you need to do to avoid those kind of situations and a more regular arrangement may not be in your best interest.

 

[Once you go black]

Man some great answers and major wisdom in this thread . I have to agree w much of what was said by
@204fun @Dick Ford @oldshark .

When I first started I also had the kid in a candy store syndrome .
but rather quickly met three of my ATF’s within about a yr & a half .

( I still occasionally either read about someone or get a dm or simply pass someone at a MP and see them for the thrill of the new . )

But for the most part I more or less see the same 5 ladies now , and just keep cycling though them over and over .

As I found it’s rare finding someone I truly click with ( I chalk the first few up to good luck )

When I find someone I really click with, I wanna keep going back and seeing them more over time .
My experience has been that the sex has only gotten better w every single one of them .

I have found sticking to the same, but not just one but a handful ( 3 minimum or more ) ,
has also allowed me to still have enough variety to satisfy that side of me ,
but the side of me that enjoys getting to know someone over time and building rapport is also satisfied.

There isn’t one of these ladies that I don’t vibe w just generally and I would be happy to be friends with if I had met under different circumstances.

So I think of all of them as woman who I am friendly with w whom I also enjoy having casual sex with .
The financial part allows me the freedom of knowing emotions from her or I won’t come back to bite me in the ass and it keeps the arrangement casual .
Which is perfect for me .

 

[dare.devil]

I experiment both but in past it used to be 50-50% but lately I its changed to 90% of time with my regulars and 10% looking outside. Finding variety has a risk that you might get awesome or really bad so be prepared for it.

 

[angry anderson]

Usually we have a very good reason even if you don’t know it. 💋

Let me guess. They don't like you?

 

[sddghkfd]

Appreciate the thoughts. I'm going try repeating with some girls I've seen and see how it goes.

 

[VinVan]

Back in the day when I first started it was such a rush to just plop down a few bucks and be serviced by an attractive woman. What an incredible feeling. It was probably 80% new and 20% repeat.

But over time, as I experienced more and learned more about my own sexuality, my ratio is more like 80% repeat and 20% new. Once I find someone I click with I’ll keep going back to the well. I have 3 or 4 faves at any one time who I will cycle thru. And the nature of the biz being what it is, it’s inevitable that one or two will retire during the course of the year, hence the 20% newbies to replace the ones who hang up their spurs.

Obviously everyone has different criteria for repeating, but (aside from physical attraction) mine is pretty simple: there is either a part of her sexuality or mine that we are both interested in exploring.

 

[Forum mod]

There's comfort and chemistry with repeat visits, especially when the novelty of the new is replaced by more satisfaction coming from connection. It's a delicate situation as someone might catch feelings, but the right kind of open communication can work wonders.

We have a cohort of guys who learned what they know about sex from porn and are seeing several girls a month, or even more than one a week. They seem compelled to climb the next mountain, rather than stop and enjoy the view. Different strokes (literally in this case) for different folks. Both can be fun, both can result in some amazing sex, but when either of them becomes a compulsion or turn less affectionate and respectful into something hostile, it's time to step back and smarten up.

 

[ChromeGasCap]

There's comfort and chemistry with repeat visits, especially when the novelty of the new is replaced by more satisfaction coming from connection. It's a delicate situation as someone might catch feelings, but the right kind of open communication can work wonders.

We have a cohort of guys who learned what they know about sex from porn and are seeing several girls a month, or even more than one a week. They seem compelled to climb the next mountain, rather than stop and enjoy the view. Different strokes (literally in this case) for different folks. Both can be fun, both can result in some amazing sex, but when either of them becomes a compulsion or turn less affectionate and respectful into something hostile, it's time to step back and smarten up.

You summed it up really well.
I might add that most human beings tend to prefer depth to their interactions, and interacting with SPs is for the most part a shallow interaction. When you frequent an SP, you begin to build depth to your interactions, or so it feels sometimes, even though the interactions are still predominantly shallow. Still better than all out hollow.

 

[Bridge]

You summed it up really well.
I might add that most human beings tend to prefer depth to their interactions, and interacting with SPs is for the most part a shallow interaction. When you frequent an SP, you begin to build depth to your interactions, or so it feels sometimes, even though the interactions are still predominantly shallow. Still better than all out hollow.

Wisdom from the Sound of Music, although the mod’s take is less sugary!

Climb Every Mountain
Climb every mountain, search high and low
Follow every by way, every path you know
Climb every mountain, ford every stream
Follow every rainbow, till you find your dream
A dream that will need, all the love you can give
Everyday of your life, for as long as you live
Climb every mountain, ford every stream
Follow every rainbow, till you find your dream
A dream that will need, all the love you can give
Everyday of your life, for as long as you live
Climb every mountain, ford every stream
Follow every rainbow, till you find your... dream...

 

[Big_Guy_Rye]

Does the experience get better the more you see a girl?

I'll probably say "yes", as a blanket answer... but you have to be aware of potential diminishing returns as each session goes by, and by then choices have to be made whether to continue the relationship/arrangement or not. As long as you're both level-headed, respectful and professional, repeat experiences can provide better services as more trust is gained. But people pointed out, there is the risk of "catching feelings", and that's a hazard or a blessing for both client and provider. But it's more than that, where more of your personal lives start to intermingle more.

For whatever reason one dabbles in this trade, both parties are from different worlds. And the trade itself sells "fantasy", not "reality"..... that's why you have to be level-headed.

The more you see a provider, the more familiar you get, the more trust you get, the more benefits you get, the better sex you get..... then the friendship ensues out of nowhere.... and the more favours are requested, more errands, more gifts and loans, more 'helping her move a couch', more 'can you pick up some eggs before the session so I can make breakfast after", more "I bought a toothbrush just for you", more "how come you never take me to the botanical garden?", more "will you leave your wife for me?", more "I need $1,000 by the end of the day or my gangster ex-boyfriend is going to get me", more "I'm ready to settle".....and then at any point, you have to step back and say, "Whoa, I just wanted some strange, and you were really good at giving it. But since when did we get THIS close?", and then you stone-cold ghost her (which I did speaking from my own experiences),... or continue the relationship, and allow her burdens to become yours if your willing; maybe you sought providers to change your life, while she was looking for a way to change her life too, and things just started to click, right? It can happen that way too.

So yeah, the sex can be great,... but is it great enough to merge your worlds down the line? Eventually there is only going to be so many of these regular sessions before that choice is imposed on you one way or another.

 

[Harmony-bc]

I’ll give my perspective as someone who has a few regulars that I’ve had for over 15 years and who are quite loyal to me. It really depends on the 2 people involved. I’ve always been really good at compartmentalizing my life and my boundaries are rock solid. It’s ok to develop feelings for your provider, providing you both can keep boundaries in place. I’m quite easy to love but I’m also extremely independent. It’s ok to do nice things for someone you care about. It’s not ok to bring boyfriend drama into this fantasy of ours lol. At the end of the day we’re all just people. And being people means that 2 providers aren’t the same even if they have the same profession. Someone’s experience doesn’t mean everybody will have the same experience with a different person or even that same person.

Repeat for connection. Branch out for variety.

 

[Pumped]

I do enjoy some regulars but also enjoy the spark of someone new -- as I'm sure SPs do as well.

And yes, I do have some feels for the regulars, but realize reciprocation is about as realistic as Santa Claus bringing me that pony I've always wanted. So I just acknowledge what I might be feeling to myself and just deal with it. The day I giddily announce I'm dating a 30 year old SP I really hope there's an intervention here on PERB because then I really have lost my mind!

Meanwhile, one of the best parts of knowing someone better is getting beyond the pure sex part and finding out other things that are interesting about them. Or just having fun in different ways that add interesting layers to what we're doing.

I have an inside joke going with one SP and I buy her these gifts that make both of us laugh when I give them to her. That's a fun part of being with a regular.

 

[Once you go black]

I'll probably say "yes", as a blanket answer... but you have to be aware of potential diminishing returns as each session goes by, and by then choices have to be made whether to continue the relationship/arrangement or not. As long as you're both level-headed, respectful and professional, repeat experiences can provide better services as more trust is gained. But people pointed out, there is the risk of "catching feelings", and that's a hazard or a blessing for both client and provider. But it's more than that, where more of your personal lives start to intermingle more.

For whatever reason one dabbles in this trade, both parties are from different worlds. And the trade itself sells "fantasy", not "reality"..... that's why you have to be level-headed.

The more you see a provider, the more familiar you get, the more trust you get, the more benefits you get, the better sex you get..... then the friendship ensues out of nowhere.... and the more favours are requested, more errands, more gifts and loans, more 'helping her move a couch', more 'can you pick up some eggs before the session so I can make breakfast after", more "I bought a toothbrush just for you", more "how come you never take me to the botanical garden?", more "will you leave your wife for me?", more "I need $1,000 by the end of the day or my gangster ex-boyfriend is going to get me", more "I'm ready to settle".....and then at any point, you have to step back and say, "Whoa, I just wanted some strange, and you were really good at giving it. But since when did we get THIS close?", and then you stone-cold ghost her (which I did speaking from my own experiences),... or continue the relationship, and allow her burdens to become yours if your willing; maybe you sought providers to change your life, while she was looking for a way to change her life too, and things just started to click, right? It can happen that way too.

So yeah, the sex can be great,... but is it great enough to merge your worlds down the line? Eventually there is only going to be so many of these regular sessions before that choice is imposed on you one way or another.

Wow ! One hell of an answer sensei .
Mind Blown ….
Respect ….& thanks for sharing .