Seeing an SP while in a relationship, need advice

[poolerbrian4]

Looking for advice, wondering how everyone here feels about seeing an SP while dating. My girlfriend is amazing but theres things I cant help but fantasize about, and I keep trying to convince myself that if I get it out of my system then I will be good. I find myself fantasizing about women with body types different than my gf, and I'm struggling with not pulling the trigger on paying a SP to help me get the fantasy out of my system.

Just looking for advice since these urges are strong and its getting harder to not pull the trigger since I've found the profile of an SP who ticks all my boxes.

 

[masterpoonhunter]

Work up a flow chart
Am I horny
No - don't see SP
Yes - see SP

 

[phukedup1]

Work up a flow chart
Am I horny
No - don't see SP
Yes - see SP

If the girlfriend ain't ticking your boxes, dump the girlfriend.

 

[poolerbrian4]

If the girlfriend ain't ticking your boxes, dump the girlfriend.

I think I fantasize about a level of attractive I probably couldnt pull, so dumping my gf because she doesnt meet the high standard of fantasy doesnt seem smart. I just want to bury my face in a beautiful thick booty on fit chick and get it out of my system.

 

[luvsdaty]

If you're in an open relationship with your girlfriend, what's the problem?

 

[rinamood]

If you're that excited to do it, then you won't end up stopping at one 🫣

 

[poolerbrian4]

If you're that excited to do it, then you won't end up stopping at one 🫣

I think you may be right about this. I think once I prove to myself the options always there, aside from financial reasons itd be tough to justify stopping. Honestly not watching pornography is probably whatd help the most.

 

[lukom]

Consider it an occasional luxury. It's not cheating in my opinion if it's for pleasure. You're not having an affair, going on dinner dates, or making this meaningful. Just like your doctor and dental visits. It's a transaction and you're gone when it's done. Don't ask, don't tell, and if your gf is also out mind your business. You don't question her about her activities outside of the home, and so she shouldn't question you about yours.

 

[Newb808]

I just want to bury my face in a beautiful thick booty on fit chick and get it out of my system.

As Rina and many others have said elsewhere, this isn’t generally something you just do once and get out of your system.

 

[204fun]

I will also reiterate that if you are going into this thinking that it is something that you will do once and then get it out of your system that is most likely wishful thinking.

If you are smart and use Perb effectively, you will most likely have a very positive and pleasurable experience and if you don't get caught by your significant other or experience overwhelming guilt, it is almost a guarantee that you will do it again in fairly short order.

 

[Big Dick Bob]

I would put the SPs on hiatus for now

One day that girlfriend isn't going to be as hot or as horny as she is now. That's when you resume seeing a SP so you can still get your rocks off and not annoy the hell out of her.

 

[YaletownFuckboi]

A while ago, I had a girlfriend and we were in a long-distance relationship for a bit. During that time, I occasionally went for massages with happy endings and got handjobs from providers, but I never had in sex or got bj's or anything. It felt like a viable option, and I didn’t feel too guilty about since I couldn't catch anything from handjobs lol. So thats an option.

Another concern, depending on your age and the age of the providers you see, is the possibility of unexpectedly encountering a provider who is a girl you know or a girl your girlfriend knows.

 

[poolerbrian4]

I will also reiterate that if you are going into this thinking that it is something that you will do once and then get it out of your system that is most likely wishful thinking.

If you are smart and use Perb effectively, you will most likely have a very positive and pleasurable experience and if you don't get caught by your significant other or experience overwhelming guilt, it is almost a guarantee that you will do it again in fairly short order.

I genuinely wonder how everyone affords to see SPs often. For me itd have to be a once every year thing MAX otherwise my finances would definitely be hurting.

A while ago, I had a girlfriend and we were in a long-distance relationship for a bit. During that time, I occasionally went for massages with happy endings and got handjobs from providers, but I never had in sex or got bj's or anything. It felt like a viable option, and I didn’t feel too guilty about since I couldn't catch anything from handjobs lol. So thats an option.

Another concern, depending on your age and the age of the providers you see, is the possibility of unexpectedly encountering a provider who is a girl you know or a girl your girlfriend knows.

Thats very good advice, honestly what I had in mind was basically to just worship a thick booty for like an hour and end it in a HJ so thats kinda in line with my thinking. I definitely also had that thought that she might know my gf, which definitely would be unfortunate. The SP i was looking into is traveling from a different city thought so that would help make me feel less worried. Idk I'm leaning on just holding this urge in but we'll see.

 

[dchoye]

There are threads from lots of unhappy dudes who are married and can’t get the type of sex they want at home Welcome to Perb.

 

[OftenWrong]

I too thought this would be 'one and done' and that held true for about a year. Then it held true for 8 months, then 6.
Its not the easiest habit/hobby to walk away from if that is your plan. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

 

[lukom]

I too thought this would be 'one and done' and that held true for about a year. Then it held true for 8 months, then 6.
Its not the easiest habit/hobby to walk away from if that is your plan. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

It's okay to realize you like sometime enough to do it again, and even frequently as long as you're not hurting yourself or others.

 

[angry anderson]

There's always 12 step meetings

 

[tymyshoe]

If you're that excited to do it, then you won't end up stopping at one 🫣

very true. Now were a few decades into just one..

 

[tymyshoe]

There's always 12 step meetings

You know its comedic relief at the end but if you reverse the gender rolls its fairly real. You dont stop at one. You start living dangerously. And sometimes you get caught and loose it all. If i could give the poster any advice is dont even start because there is no end. I was young when i started and most of the providers were older than me. It started as guilt free sex. Then you get your first dance with the sti clinic. Then after that your scared a bit off. Then go back when your scanning the internet for the perfect girl. Then you see her. And your back at it for a while and the cycle continues. At least for me I would say dont start. Develop a healthy sense of love and intamicey. Now that im older most of the providers are younger than me and now im the older guy. These girls are also addicted. The thing is when you sell crack you sell the crack and its gone. When you sell yourself...your still there in the mirror. After years you see that your both addics in different ways. Im addicted to the variety and beauty, but maybe im more addicted to the thrill of the hunt. That moment before they open the door and their the girl in the picture or hotter. Yet always now after its a empty drive to where ever your going after (wondering if caught some in curable sti or maybe even a cureable one "the danger"). Maybe wishing you could just stop one day.

Im feeling a bit dark after watching the video. sorry boys

 

[MikeyLikey99]

Honestly, it’ll be easier on you in the long run if you don’t start. A lot of guys here thought they would just scratch a particular itch, and here they are still 5, 10, 15+ years later still doing it, having spent a small fortune. Some will deny it, of course, but it’s an addiction for a number of us. Tymyshoe’s comment rings true to me.

You say that your girlfriend is amazing so consider talking to a therapist if you have benefits or can afford it. Or, maybe, flip it around in your head and think about how you would feel if your girlfriend paid for a male sex worker to satisfy her kinks. It’s tough, but I’d suggest doing what you can to avoid going down this (expensive) road. My 2 cents.