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Is it okay to ask if SP is clean and recent tested result during scheduling?

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Professional_Task

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May 6, 2024
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Total noob. Saw some really great looking SP but everybody do wants to stay clean and safe right? Is it bad or rude to ask all these questions during initial scheduling? The last thing I want is to contact anything unwanted for everyone and trying hard not to use my lower brain to think before act. thanks
 

wintersurfer

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Jan 26, 2014
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Total noob. Saw some really great looking SP but everybody do wants to stay clean and safe right? Is it bad or rude to ask all these questions during initial scheduling? The last thing I want is to contact anything unwanted for everyone and trying hard not to use my lower brain to think before act. thanks
Are you going to provide the same info?
All kidding aside I would assume most reputable ladies would click “block/delete” (imo)…
 

rinamood

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Intimate activities all carry risk, but I'll outline the "lowest risk" methods. You can tell them that you're a bit of a germaphobe and that you'll be requesting some or all of the following:
  • No kissing (non-zero chance of transmission, even just of colds)
  • No BJ, or covered BJ
  • No DATY/DATO, or covered w dental dam
  • Bringing your own sheets, towels, etc
  • Thorough showers - take your time
I recommend scheduling an appointment to speak with a nurse at the BC CDC STI clinic so you can understand better risks of transmission and the amount of time it takes for certain STIs to show up in testing. Again, tell them that you're very risk averse and want to be conscious. Tell them it's for ease of mind. They will take care of you. You can also have your blood checked and get boosters for related vaccinations. Ask about HPV vaccines as most men haven't received this. Also, if you are bisexual, see men, or trans people, the monkeypox shot may be available to you too.

Personally, I think regular/monthly testing is great! It keeps duo partners up to date and protects everyone in the community 💐

P. S.
I prefer someone saying they are hygienic and health-conscious over someone telling me that they are "clean, drug- and disease-free vasectomy daddy" (yes, people say this). Health is important, but testing is easily falsified and providers will likely not be impressed to be asked for their regular screening as it contains our legal name on it. Maybe a provider you see regularly will be okay sharing when to book with the most up-to-date results out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Edit to update without getting "into the fray":

So, I don't include in my ads how often I test because for me, it's a given. I also don't list out how many covid boosters and other vaccines I've gotten. If someone is inquiring about it and they are coming from a place of concern for themselves like OP, not from a place of STI stigma, then I'm pretty forward about it. We handle our own social media and business goings, whatever way works (or doesn't work haha) for us. It's okay, don't worry!

If the client cannot trust that the provider is someone who meets their standards in safe practice, they should move on. Not answering does not necessarily mean denial or falsehoods. Just like how not answering does not = consent for something. It's important for me. Sometimes, it might be that they have asked me in an uncomfortable way and I have chosen to not host that energy in my space. Courtesy and kindness go a long way. Idk I'm Canadian so maybe some might think I'm entitled for expecting people to be polite to me, stranger-to-stranger. I don't want to see everyone - just the ones who truly want to see me, the person and the provider. I'm happy that there's a different style of provider for everyone 💐
 
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dare.devil

Well-known member
Apr 6, 2023
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Vancouver
Basically, the general idea is, and evident from the answers above. "Don't ask, don't question, and just be a wallet."
My suggestion is to go ahead with your queries if you are concerned about it. If they block you and don't respond, it means they have something to hide and not the one for you.
 
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Sibar

Active member
Nov 1, 2015
108
27
28
Vancouver Richmond
Intimate activities all carry risk, but I'll outline the "lowest risk" methods. You can tell them that you're a bit of a germaphobe and that you'll be requesting some or all of the following:
  • No kissing (non-zero chance of transmission, even just of colds)
  • No BJ, or covered BJ
  • No DATY/DATO, or covered w dental dam
  • Bringing your own sheets, towels, etc
  • Thorough showers - take your time
I recommend scheduling an appointment to speak with a nurse at the BC CDC STI clinic so you can understand better risks of transmission and the amount of time it takes for certain STIs to show up in testing. Again, tell them that you're very risk averse and want to be conscious. Tell them it's for ease of mind. They will take care of you. You can also have your blood checked and get boosters for related vaccinations. Ask about HPV vaccines as most men haven't received this. Also, if you are bisexual, see men, or trans people, the monkeypox shot may be available to you too.


P. S.
I prefer someone saying they are hygienic and health-conscious over someone telling me that they are "clean, drug- and disease-free vasectomy daddy" (yes, people say this). Health is important, but testing is easily falsified and providers will likely not be impressed to be asked for their regular screening as it contains our legal name on it. Maybe a provider you see regularly will be okay sharing when to book with the most up-to-date results out.
You just gave great reasons for seeing an SP over an AMP. I see AMPs mainly but may reconsider.
 
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rinamood

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You just gave great reasons for seeing an SP over an AMP. I see AMPs mainly but may reconsider.
Thank you for appreciating my write-up 🥹 I don't want others to feel ashamed for being health-conscious and choosing their own risk tolerance. There are proper kind and respectful ways to ask, and I really appreciate the understanding with this touchy subject 💙
 

Professional_Task

New member
May 6, 2024
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Thank you for appreciating my write-up 🥹 I don't want others to feel ashamed for being health-conscious and choosing their own risk tolerance. There are proper kind and respectful ways to ask, and I really appreciate the understanding with this touchy subject 💙
Thanks for the reply, I just don't want to be a dick what so ever. Well I kinda wanna be a dick... But you get what I meant. I appreciate your reply
 

wintersurfer

Carpe Diem
Jan 26, 2014
1,230
795
113
Total noob. Saw some really great looking SP but everybody do wants to stay clean and safe right? Is it bad or rude to ask all these questions during initial scheduling? The last thing I want is to contact anything unwanted for everyone and trying hard not to use my lower brain to think before act. thanks
Asking questions (sincere ones) is never a bad thing, welcome to Perb…
 
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Jackity

Member
Dec 19, 2015
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Thank you for appreciating my write-up 🥹 I don't want others to feel ashamed for being health-conscious and choosing their own risk tolerance. There are proper kind and respectful ways to ask, and I really appreciate the understanding with this touchy subject 💙
Great response!
 
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bruce.pepper

Banned
Apr 2, 2024
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Genuine question: Why don't more providers advertise that they get tested regularly?
Wouldn't it be good for their business if they advertised that they get tested often, like every month or every week?
 

vitaminD

Member
Nov 23, 2023
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Don’t ask her anything you wouldn’t ask for from a tinder date or anything you’re not willing to provide yourself. Remember it’s our job to stay healthy.
It's not that rare for women to ask men to get tested for STDs before they have sex. While it's not something most women do, some women might ask this question, especially those who don't have many sexual partners. I've had it happen to me a couple of times, and my friends have experienced it too.

So, it okay to ask?
I think its perfectly reasonable to provide yourself (with personal information redacted) if you are going to ask.
 
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vitaminD

Member
Nov 23, 2023
151
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Genuine question: Why don't more providers advertise that they get tested regularly?
Wouldn't it be good for their business if they advertised that they get tested often, like every month or every week?
I have seen some agencies and providers advertise this before, but its extremely rare.

The fact that its not common practice tells you alot....
 

rinamood

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Jun 15, 2022
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Genuine question: Why don't more providers advertise that they get tested regularly?
Wouldn't it be good for their business if they advertised that they get tested often, like every month or every week?
Weekly testing is unreasonable, and not recommended. I used to get it done every 2wks because I am one of those health-anxious people - my veins HATED IT. The nurses told me to stick to once monthly at most 😂 They recommend once every 3mo typically because that's when the STIs they test for should all be detectable. I hope you can understand 🌷
 

kelcaine

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Mar 31, 2022
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If this is a concern of yours I would say to word it differently. Asking if someone is “clean” is inferring the opposite is “dirty”. Getting an STI doesn’t mean someone is “dirty”. They can happen. Thankfully I have never had an STI, but most are treatable. So I would word it like “Can I ask what precautions you take to stay safe?”. Some may be open to answering, some may not. Asking about one’s medical history can be a bit invasive. We don’t normally ask our clients about their STI status or how often they get tested.

Most providers do take precautions like using condoms, getting tested often, getting vaccinated (like for hepatitis), not being intimate with someome with a sore/blister on their body (especially the mouth or genitalia). This is part of our job and moral responsibility to keep ourselves and those we are intimate with as safe as possible.

I also want to note it’s a huge misconception that people who are non monogamous and/or in SW are more likely to get or spread STI’s. I know SO many civ women who never get tested, assume they are “clean” not because they got tested but because they have no symptoms, and don’t use protection with sexual partners they have.

I personally have and will share my test results with clients who ask, and have my results online too. Not everyone will feel comfortable doing this, and I would say if someone doesn’t want to share this information it doesn’t mean something is wrong, or to be a red flag. Would you ask this with a hookup at the bar? Probably not, or a first date? It isn’t much different when seeing a provider.

I also would suggest seeing reputable providers with a good name in the industry. Those of us who do this as a business are less likely to put our money and business at risk by being careless with our sexual health, as it’s part of our job, and livelihood. There’s also a lot of other great information posted about by colleagues of mine too. I hope this all helps!
 

Professional_Task

New member
May 6, 2024
9
9
3
If this is a concern of yours I would say to word it differently. Asking if someone is “clean” is inferring the opposite is “dirty”. Getting an STI doesn’t mean someone is “dirty”. They can happen. Thankfully I have never had an STI, but most are treatable. So I would word it like “Can I ask what precautions you take to stay safe?”. Some may be open to answering, some may not. Asking about one’s medical history can be a bit invasive. We don’t normally ask our clients about their STI status or how often they get tested.

Most providers do take precautions like using condoms, getting tested often, getting vaccinated (like for hepatitis), not being intimate with someome with a sore/blister on their body (especially the mouth or genitalia). This is part of our job and moral responsibility to keep ourselves and those we are intimate with as safe as possible.

I also want to note it’s a huge misconception that people who are non monogamous and/or in SW are more likely to get or spread STI’s. I know SO many civ women who never get tested, assume they are “clean” not because they got tested but because they have no symptoms, and don’t use protection with sexual partners they have.

I personally have and will share my test results with clients who ask, and have my results online too. Not everyone will feel comfortable doing this, and I would say if someone doesn’t want to share this information it doesn’t mean something is wrong, or to be a red flag. Would you ask this with a hookup at the bar? Probably not, or a first date? It isn’t much different when seeing a provider.

I also would suggest seeing reputable providers with a good name in the industry. Those of us who do this as a business are less likely to put our money and business at risk by being careless with our sexual health, as it’s part of our job, and livelihood. There’s also a lot of other great information posted about by colleagues of mine too. I hope this all helps!
Very detail and I understand every words you've mentions. I don't have an English mother tongue so I might put words in here seems offending but not my intention. Your suggestion of “Can I ask what precautions you take to stay safe?” I am new here so I am still doing homework and understanding this hobby. Only to not offend any SP.
 

kelcaine

www.kelcaine.com
Supporting Member
Mar 31, 2022
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Very detail and I understand every words you've mentions. I don't have an English mother tongue so I might put words in here seems offending but not my intention. Your suggestion of “Can I ask what precautions you take to stay safe?” I am new here so I am still doing homework and understanding this hobby. Only to not offend any SP.
If English is not your first language that is understandable. I just wanted to let you know how you word yourself is very important and to word yourself in a respectful manner. There are also on one translators that can help.

Also if you won’t want to offend most SP’s do not refer to seeing providers as a “hobby”… just a friendly piece of advice.
 
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