Stress of something, bad/poor leadership role models when learning stuff etc. The problem is that in a position of power, individuals keep on pushing and pushing, not knowing they crossed the line until someone speaks up. But its not harassment if you have to tell someone to do their job. Yelling can be motivational... just don't do it often. Go to an American Restaurant, you will find customers are frequently rude, has something about getting their money's worth. So next time figure out if the Rude person is American, if so squeeze ketchup at their white shirt...
As for tips, you give what you can. Reading online everybody has to be paid min wage, even waitresses (in bc its the ex liquor server wage is now the new minimum wage). Tips don't count towards wages. Most places have a system for tips (all tips go towards a pot, divided up at end of night, with % going towards the waiters/waitresses, bar tenders, kitchen staff, bus boys/girls). I don't think managers or owners should receive tips.
The thing about a tips jar or locked tipped jar, depends on the honesty of the people running the place. Years ago (out of high school), I worked in a place where the owners/managers collected the tips, and no money was handed out. The boss every quarter would take the crew out for dinner. Yeah that guy was raking in the tips big time.
Very rarely are you going to find places where the waitress collects all the tips herself. Its a team effort.
It's Murphy's Law when it comes to eating with a white shirt on.
Tipping is a racket, a substitute for pay that the wait staff should be getting but aren't. I hate to be like this fucking guy ...
... but honestly, I am becoming that guy, seeing the society-wide scam of it and refusing to play ball.
Tip percents have been stealthily creeping upwards over the past 20 years or more.
Used to be 10% in Canada. (In Europe, usually nothing!) Nobody ever announced there was some rule about 15%, but influenced by the Americans, the local travel & hospitality advisors began to "suggest" it, out of nowhere.
Then came electronic payments, and that used to start at 5, 10, 15, etc. - but if you notice, it then moved to a default suggestion of 15%, and lately a default tip "suggestion" of 20%, 25, or 30%. Don't want to tip that? Well forget about 1 button or a tap, now you have to fuck around with "suggest other" and key it in - all the while with the wait staffer or delivery person staring at you with dagger eyes, like you're some cheapskate asshole, because you actually remember that literally
nobody gave consent for the "customary" percentage to be raised.
Just like "fuel surcharges" and other hidden / tacked-on fees, we get handed these fucking lies, and are expected to swallow them without complaint.
We're all being disrespected - nickel and dimed to death by de-facto scams, because the economy relies on dishonesty as its business model.
Again, not the fault of any hospitality workers. I have respect for them, and I know it's not their fault. If someone gets a big tip from me, it's because they earned it, not because some point-of-sale machine suggested it.
How about instead: Pay the workers a wage that reflects what they're worth. Advertise the true price, even if it means openly admitting the price has gone up. And if people tip well, it's because they really want to compliment the service. If they feel good about their experience, they give repeat business.