What you don't get at home.

87112

Banned
Dec 13, 2004
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*&^%
I had a chance to COF with my dreamgirl years ago and never could do it to her. Seems like something I would regret.
But I did that with SPs sometimes and it was erotic!
As for Robert Kraft's GF, don't get the part where its necessary to date something in their 70s and your not even 40. How much money is enough? Never been rich but after a while material things lose the thrill and you only have yourself in the mirror.
 

haigum141

Active member
Aug 28, 2016
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You aren't a sex addict lol
We all have needs and different desires, just because we partake in this activity means nothing
Quiet honestly, things that I want to do with SP, not necessarily wants to do with my SO.
We are all different men with same goal in mind ;)
What is sex-addict then in your's & everyone's opinion?
 

Miss Hunter

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Aug 30, 2013
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I didn’t see anyone mention that sometimes whatever he goes to get elsewhere (with a stop at the ATM along the way) he, in some cases, could have gotten at home. But, perhaps he pissed her off and she shut the gates. Access to pussy isn’t a right, its a reward. At least, that’s how I see it. Just a thought..

Another thought... lust vs love and attachment. They run on separate brain circuitry paths. Of course you can feel both for the same person but often they’re not connected. Helen Fisher’s book, ‘Why We Love’ goes into detail about this.
 

80watts

Well-known member
May 20, 2004
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"Access to pussy isn’t a right, its a reward. At least, that’s how I see it." Miss Hunter

I can agree that access to pussy isn't a right, but I disagree with your thinking that it is a reward. Access should be freely given out of love/caring for the other person in the relationship. It goes both ways...

A reward for what? Kindness, good behaviour, or whatever it is; is it sending the wrong signals in a relationship? Are women training a lap dog?

Manipulation.....

Most men go "Who cares I'm getting laid"..... most likely the little head is saying that, because men are hardwired that way....

Women mostly prefer the young adonis over the old fat balding guy.... And from this, the oldest profession on earth.....
 

Miss Hunter

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Aug 30, 2013
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"Access to pussy isn’t a right, its a reward. At least, that’s how I see it." Miss Hunter

I can agree that access to pussy isn't a right, but I disagree with your thinking that it is a reward. Access should be freely given out of love/caring for the other person in the relationship. It goes both ways...

A reward for what? Kindness, good behaviour, or whatever it is; is it sending the wrong signals in a relationship? Are women training a lap dog?

Manipulation.....

Most men go "Who cares I'm getting laid"..... most likely the little head is saying that, because men are hardwired that way....

Women mostly prefer the young adonis over the old fat balding guy.... And from this, the oldest profession on earth.....
I wouldn't consider a woman who places high value on herself before allowing access to intimacy to be manipulative. Every woman has a right to set whatever boundaries she wants with men. No matter how ridiculous it seems to others. If he isn't into it, he can go elsewhere.

And I personally have zero interest in the "young adonis" of the world. Once upon a time I was into them, and wound up with a lot of unsatisfying sexual encounters.
 

clu

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Oct 3, 2010
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perhaps he pissed her off and she shut the gates. Access to pussy isn’t a right, its a reward.
Gotta after with 80watts on this. That's likely the very scenario that leads many guys in relationships to seek out alternatives like SPs, affairs, etc. in the first place. If sex is no more than a bargaining chip, then that's pretty well priming a guy for the mentality needed to seek out SPs, where at least the rules of the bargain are straight forward and clearly stated.

Sex in a relationship isn't owed but when it is given, it is elevated when it's used as a gesture of intimacy and a conduit for connection. Otherwise it's just another transaction.
 

Miss Hunter

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Aug 30, 2013
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In my case, it’s much more than something as shallow as a bargaining chip. My body, my life, my rules. The details are personal, I’ve only shared with one person and he isn’t complaining. It’s not something the general population of PERB needs to understand anyways.

But I stand by my comment. Any woman has the right to make her own rules regarding intimate access to her body.
 

Miss Hunter

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In hindsight, perhaps I didn’t explain myself properly. A bunch of thoughts came out kind of mixed up together. But whatever, it doesn’t matter.
 

clu

Active member
Oct 3, 2010
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But I stand by my comment. Any woman has the right to make her own rules regarding intimate access to her body.
Well we agreed explicitly nothing is owed. I was speaking in general to the topic of this thread. Your comment just prompted the thought to mind: in relationships that commodify intimacy, or where the partner might act like they're doing you a favour rather than it being mutually appealing, what that person is no longer getting at home is anything that, sexually, makes it particularly superior to any other transactional method of sex. Then it's just a matter of who's offering the most appealing deal.

To what you say, absolutely each partner gets to set their boundaries. And you could equally say some hypothetical person who is creating a transactional sexual relationship has just as much that right to do so too, but since this thread is about how fidelity goes wrong, it felt worth mentioning.
 

Sporting

Well-known member
Feb 7, 2010
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What I've learned about men over my 30-some years on this planet is they're wired on a biological level to want variety. As long as I feel valued and appreciated, I don't care about the recreational wandering as long as it's done safely.
Thank you for saying this. it's like groundhog day....over and over again until I get it right! My SO and I went at it strong for 5 years. Then we moved in together. After a month she told me couldn't sleep when I was in the bed. There were a bunch of other rules that I had to learn, and they were delivered in a rather authoritarian manner. Rubbed me the wrong way and drove me here as almost a kind of vengeance. I don't think she knows what I'm up to, which in itself shows how much she's paying attention to me. If she knew (she's Asian) it wouldn't bother her as much as some good Christian lady. She's forever telling me stories about men who have outside women. This venue suits my needs and desires perfectly. Nobody gets hurt. It is a great stabilizer for me. Gotta have lotsa action in life!! We're a long time dead.
 

Miss Hunter

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Aug 30, 2013
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Well we agreed explicitly nothing is owed. I was speaking in general to the topic of this thread. Your comment just prompted the thought to mind: in relationships that commodify intimacy, or where the partner might act like they're doing you a favour rather than it being mutually appealing, what that person is no longer getting at home is anything that, sexually, makes it particularly superior to any other transactional method of sex. Then it's just a matter of who's offering the most appealing deal.

To what you say, absolutely each partner gets to set their boundaries. And you could equally say some hypothetical person who is creating a transactional sexual relationship has just as much that right to do so too, but since this thread is about how fidelity goes wrong, it felt worth mentioning.
I agree with what you're saying. I didn't word my post properly, what I meant was I understand when some women go cold and don't want to have sex with their partners when they feel they aren't being treated the way they deserve to be. Never underestimate the power of a woman's intuition. I've had past relationships where I suddenly lost interest sexually, then found out a long time later exes were pulling some pretty disgusting fuckery behind my back.

And to clarify further...I'm not placing judgement upon any pooner who has to seek satisfaction outside his marriage/LTR. Your relationships are none of my business. It's not my place to pass judgement upon situations I'm not personally involved in.

For me, honesty is paramount. Id much rather allow the wandering than have it done behind my back. When I care about someone, I cant lie. Sometimes I'll try to dodge questions about my grades,when I'm embarrassed I’ve had a semester when they aren't great, lol. :behindsofa: But I can never hide the truth. And I expect honesty in return. I'm not a civilian woman, haven't been for a very long time, so I see pooning from a different perspective than the average woman.
 

R the Man

Variety is the spice...
Nov 23, 2002
351
6
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Somewhere in La La Land
What I find amazing about the Kraft story, is that his provider was old and not good looking, and he only had a 15 minute hand job. For a guy who could get the most beautiful escorts in the world, it just seems strange that he’s satisfied with a simple hand job from an auntie. Which makes it all the more ridiculous that he gets pulled through shit for such a simple act. It’s not like he was choking women or seeing youngsters. Americans are so puritanical, it’s crazy.
 

R the Man

Variety is the spice...
Nov 23, 2002
351
6
18
Somewhere in La La Land
To get back on topic, what I like from seeing providers, is that the focus is entirely on me. When I’m with a girlfriend, I like to make sure that she is satisfied too. I don’t have to worry about that with an SP. Plus, my SO is terrible at blowjobs.
 

Amuse0ne

Member
Jun 29, 2015
164
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What I find amazing about the Kraft story, is that his provider was old and not good looking, and he only had a 15 minute hand job. For a guy who could get the most beautiful escorts in the world, it just seems strange that he’s satisfied with a simple hand job from an auntie. Which makes it all the more ridiculous that he gets pulled through shit for such a simple act. It’s not like he was choking women or seeing youngsters. Americans are so puritanical, it’s crazy.
I know right for all his Billions, Power & Access he chose an Auntie at a Florida strip mall. He for one could appreciate good service value. The problem is that he overlooked the reality of the vulnerable women about. In all his success and intelligence how could he allow his lust and erection to cloud his good judgement. I tell ya you hit 75 ands its DILLIGAF...
 
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coffeeb

Active member
Feb 15, 2019
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To get back on topic, what I like from seeing providers, is that the focus is entirely on me. When I’m with a girlfriend, I like to make sure that she is satisfied too. I don’t have to worry about that with an SP. Plus, my SO is terrible at blowjobs.
I sometimes worry that the SP isn't satisfied because they are people too, it would make the session a lot easier if they enjoyed themselves too. I also get that the focus is on me, which I like because after a long day of stress at work I just want to relax a bit and let someone else do the work.
 
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