The process of the reference...

[newatit]

Sounds like a cat fight with you in the middle

 

[PierreCoeur]

I was surprised recently when I provided a well known and well reviewed high end local escort with the name of another well known and well reviewed high end local escort as a reference. She declined saying she doesn't accept references from my reference.

Selective referencing. Could be that the last reference she accepted from the other SP turned out to be a real loser or a bad john. When you are already asking for references it only goes to say that there is an obvious high level of screening that the escort has put in place. It's a free world and in my own opinion, I would not even approach an escort who is asking for the reference. It isn't a matter of being an individual who can't get a reference, it is more about my desire to remain anonymous and protect my privacy as I have a high level government position. Also I am afraid that a girl who has such a high level screening process could turn out to be a WOT, after raising that bar so high that my expectations would be also be higher than the experience she could actually deliver. A disappointment.

If it's a safety thing that the girl is asking for a reference, there are other better ways that she could be ensuring her safety, than relying on the opinion of other escorts. Also that she expects others in the industry to provide a reference means she is happy for others to take the risk but not necessarily willing to contribute to the process.

As I said this is just an opinion given in an opinion forum and you can take it or leave it. Opinions sometimes offend and sometimes hurt when the reader doesn't share the opinion, so please don't shoot me again for expressing it or for the fact you don't understand what the opinion is.

 

[voodooking]

I don't mind when an SP asks for my age and nationality and possibly my forum username which i would gladly share with them.

When they are asking to contact an SP that I have seen before I feel that that is going to far.
I respect the SP's privacy that I have seen in the past and don't want them being bothered for a reference.

Some SPs that i have seen have said that if I wanted they would give me a reference for other SPs that I may want to visit and I said to them don't worry about it.

It honestly creeps me out when SPs are way too paranoid and have zero trust for who is booking them.
Many SPs may not like my opinion but I am being honest by letting you know how myself and others feel about this reference shit.

 

[newatit]

I agree. Safety is one issue but privacy another

 

[Cami Parker]

Strange... She may gotten a bad reference from the lady previously, or has reason to believe that that particular lady has reason to set her on fake dates using herself for any number of reasons.,. Strange

I was surprised recently when I provided a well known and well reviewed high end local escort with the name of another well known and well reviewed high end local escort as a reference. She declined saying she doesn't accept references from my reference.

 

[Cami Parker]

You can't just "let them know" that you're using them as a reference Silly, you have to ask (and receive) permission before hand lol

I don't think these references are the same type as a work reference. I would assume that the lady requesting a reference is more concerned with safety, and whether or not the potential client is a time-waster or limit pusher.
If I was giving a an sp as a reference, I would contact them to let them know, and would also remind them who I was. Even someone like Cami, whom I've seen more than once, I would remind when I last saw them. Otherwise, you force them to waste their time trying to remember who you are.
We all like to think we're special, but at the end of the day, we're just one of many.

 

[Cami Parker]

Agree! I have no trouble giving out references for the most part, assuming the client is not a difficult one, and always share with the lady as much info as possible. However, when I receive a reference request from a lady and the gentleman hasn't cleared it with me first, I will tell her as much, and leg her know that if he would like to use me as a reference I need him to contact me and let me know. She usually passes the note along and he does so with no issue. I don't typically ask for references (in my home city) unless something seems shady, but even then I usually just stop communicating.

Cami I agree with you one hundred percent. I would never offer a reference without clearing with the SP in question first. I think it's only fair and respectful. On the same note, I generally won't book with an SP if she requires a reference. That's is my choice, just like its her's to request one.

 

[Cami Parker]

I couldn't agree more! Most of my clients have been seeing me for quite sometime, and I assume continue to do so in the future. Obviously emotional fondness adds to and improves a sexual experience for both parties.

In my fifty years in this game I have never supplied a reference but I have heard that the gals have discussed me favourably at their occasional gatherings where it seems they discover clients in common. Maybe that's why I seldom get asked. I also tend to be discriminate and devoted to a one only supplier as it leads to a warmer more satisfying long term relationship. So on the odd occasion when I decide to see some else asking the current sp for a reference to a new sp feels like asking a wife instead. Nope not in the reference game but in this world of cops and robbers I do understand it. And no issues for those who need it. I just can't get into the complications of arranging it.

 

[Cami Parker]

Agree! I'm glad I'm not being unreasonable! Lol

In my professional life the process of references works as cami suggests. People need to request from me that I serve as a reference. I would not respond to a person who called me and stated that an individual asked that I be a reference unless I had agreed to serve in that way.

As an aside, I am more in line with MM that if a lady requires a reference I would probably move on as it is a bit more effort than I wish to go through.

 

[Cami Parker]

Yes, yes yes! Spoken like a true gentleman

As a first point I'd say out of politeness and common sense the Gentleman should have asked you first if he could use you as a reference. I 100% agree this should be the procedure.

I would also throw into the mix that for client & provider security this would also be good practice. If someone wanted to establish if a person known to them had visited yourself or another escort a good means of getting some validation of that might be to call / email and pretend to be looking for a reference. Now you might feel obliged to check to see if this person is a legitimate SP before providing the information but realistically you shouldn't have to, I think the onus should be on the client to ask if you would be a reference and let you know before an other SP makes contact.

 

[Aellyn Rose]

Sounds like a cat fight with you in the middle

Even if two ladies don't get along, if both respect the other's intelligence and professionalism they should accept references from each other.

The refusal to accept references from certain ladies can be due to things we know about each other that clients may not know, that lower a lady's credibility. Or, that we feel our preferred type of clients are rather different and that we wouldn't be comfortable entertaining the same gentlemen.

That also applies to duos, I've flat out refused to work with some ladies and that was solely based on protecting my brand.

 

[Cami Parker]

Well said my beauty. You explained it better than I could.

Even if two ladies don't get along, if both respect the other's intelligence and professionalism they should accept references from each other.

The refusal to accept references from certain ladies can be due to things we know about each other that clients may not know, that lower a lady's credibility. Or, that we feel our preferred type of clients are rather different and that we wouldn't be comfortable entertaining the same gentlemen.

That also applies to duos, I've flat out refused to work with some ladies and that was solely based on protecting my brand.

 

[CanineCowboy]

I actually pulled the plug today on trying to set up my date. The whole process started January 18th. The first reference never got back to her, the second was not accepted, the third (provided at the same time as the second) was never even acknowledged. Last week I provided a list of an additional dozen women that I had seen in the last three years (most should be recognized immediately by name recognition). I asked that she pick a reference and I would then contact them to make sure they could provide a reference. After not hearing anything until I prompted her this morning, she suggested she would contact someone soon. I decided the end experience, if it ever actually happened, would not live up to my expectation. Kind of using what Aellyn said earlier in this thread and turning it on its head - I have never had a good experience with a conceited escort and that was the impression of her I was starting to get.

 

[Aellyn Rose]

Sorry to hear this happened CanineCowboy. It's not like you weren't trying to make it work...

 

[italian233]

I've always just used my board handle when setting a date. What is the best way to ask a SP for the reference? Do I have to name the lady Im looking to see or just ask if I could use her for a reference?

 

[Cami Parker]

Yes, an example of a proper reference request goes something like this :
"Hi ____,
I'm not sure if you will remember me, but my name is ____ and I saw you around _____ . During our time together, you ________ (something to jog her memory, maybe something specific she said that really resonated with you, or a special request she accommodated or a restaurant you went to on the date... Something to remind her who you are)
I am writing because I have requested a date with _____ and she has requested a reference. Would you mind if I used your name?"

I thin know who you are, and who I should expect to hear from. It's also better for you because I'm able to pass on any info about something's you may have really enjoyed that she can do for you.

 

[Cami Parker]

I'm sorry.... Some girls are just super snotty. Doesn't sound very warm or inviting.... Your money is better doesn't elsewhere.

I actually pulled the plug today on trying to set up my date. The whole process started January 18th. The first reference never got back to her, the second was not accepted, the third (provided at the same time as the second) was never even acknowledged. Last week I provided a list of an additional dozen women that I had seen in the last three years (most should be recognized immediately by name recognition). I asked that she pick a reference and I would then contact them to make sure they could provide a reference. After not hearing anything until I prompted her this morning, she suggested she would contact someone soon. I decided the end experience, if it ever actually happened, would not live up to my expectation. Kind of using what Aellyn said earlier in this thread and turning it on its head - I have never had a good experience with a conceited escort and that was the impression of her I was starting to get.

 

[Cami Parker]

I am starting to wonder though, when ppl say a reference was "not accepted"..... Recently I've been getting an abnormal amount of reference requests from the same lady. While I respect her right to request a reference, I don't do that so it's becoming a real hassle. I'm starting to feel like her unpaid agent or something and am about to tell her that she's capped the number of references I can offer her. So, if and when I do that, she will have to say that she is unable to accept my name as a reference. I wonder if other ladies say that for a similar reason?

 

[voodooking]

That is beyond ridiculous.
Take your money and go see an SP that actually appreciates you.

You should not have to jump through hoops to book someone who feels that entitled.
Sps that demand multiple references is a complete joke.

When someone is that difficult I will not even consider booking them.

I actually pulled the plug today on trying to set up my date. The whole process started January 18th. The first reference never got back to her, the second was not accepted, the third (provided at the same time as the second) was never even acknowledged. Last week I provided a list of an additional dozen women that I had seen in the last three years (most should be recognized immediately by name recognition). I asked that she pick a reference and I would then contact them to make sure they could provide a reference. After not hearing anything until I prompted her this morning, she suggested she would contact someone soon. I decided the end experience, if it ever actually happened, would not live up to my expectation. Kind of using what Aellyn said earlier in this thread and turning it on its head - I have never had a good experience with a conceited escort and that was the impression of her I was starting to get.