B.C. women pickier than most in Canada
By Cheryl Chan, The Province
He seemed nice, so when he asked her out to dinner, she said yes.
But when his appetizer got cold because he couldn’t stop talking about himself, Vancouver’s Amy Chan decided a second date is out of the question.
“If we can’t have an engaging conversation, there’s no way we’re going to be able to get past this to another date,” said the 31-year-old luxury hotel reviewer and relationship columnist.
In Vancouver’s perennially frosty dating scene, men are often called out for being too passive while women have a reputation of being too picky.
Results of a national survey commissioned by online dating website Match.com probing what single Canadians found attractive and unattractive in potential mates suggest B.C. women are indeed pickier than women in the rest of Canada.
In one question respondents were asked to choose any or all out of 14 attributes or habits they would consider a first date deal breaker. Across the board — from showing up late to eating with mouth open, from talking about money to not picking up the tab — B.C. women ticked off more no-nos than their national counterparts.
B.C.’s top deal breakers for women are poor hygiene (82 per cent), being distracted by a mobile device (74 per cent), and talking about sexual history and being rude to wait staff (72 per cent).
Canadian women were more forgiving of dates who constantly checked their smartphones, with only 59 per cent considering it a deal breaker compared to almost 3/4 of B.C. women. Almost 60 per cent of B.C. women polled said they wouldn’t go out on a second date with men who ate with their mouths open, compared to 46 per cent nationally.
Longtime Vancouver matchmaker Susan Seminew said women are naturally more picky then men, but “Vancouver women have kicked it up a notch.”
She’s seen women who obsess over a partner’s looks, height, and income. Some have illusions of nabbing a tall, dark Prince Charming, and have unrealistic expectations.
“Women analyze everything,” said Seminew. “We are looking for reasons to dismiss.” Her advice: Relax. “You don’t fall in love with a list. You fall in love with the person.”
Seminew also urged women to be more forgiving of a first date faux pas.
“First dates are not the best barometer,” she said. “Some guys tank the first date. They’re nervous. As long as he doesn’t do something really rude or obnoxious, and there’s intrigue there, give him a chance.”
Chan said there are women who zero in on the superficial stuff, but maintains there is an important distinction between being picky and having standards, including expecting proper etiquette and manners and consideration from your date.
If anything, added Chan, Vancouver women should up their standards, not lower it, especially in today’s casual hook-up culture.
“The more women accept that — it’s fine that our dates aren’t really dates, or you just go for coffee and it’s never a proper date — the more guys are going to keep on doing that,” she said.
“If you up your standards and yourself, it elevates the norm to a better bar.
“And we need to raise the bar in Vancouver.”
chchan@theprovince.com
twitter.com/cherylchan
http://www.theprovince.com/news/women+pickier+than+most+Canada/9506251/story.html
