A call from my clients' wife ...today ...my heart hurts

[JessicaPrabbit]

Oh Miss Jessica...It is so nice to received your arrogant PM
Yeah it does..As i do need to screen my clients..

My reply came to you in PM in a tiny effort to lighten the amount of uncalled for fodder that is filling this thread. Nothing more. If you think it was arrogant that is your opinion.

It is MY PM to you and I have the right to post the content. I will absolutely type every single thought within the thread if that is what pleases you most because obviously my life needs to revolve around pleasing you most ...

"Wow ...
My behaviour will reflect on your work ...?

Perhaps but YOU are NOT my primary concern at the moment. My primary concern is in regards to the fact that a few of the SP's on the board are making it abundantly clear that they simply don't want my level of honesty to negatively affect the amount of business they have. It won't if you don't let it. It's really that simple. By continuing to post opposition to an opinion ...which I am entitled to ...you only give me reason to continue on with the thread.

I'm not trying to piss anyone off and if my caps lock offended you ...WHAT? Are you serious? I typed it LOUDLY so that this, maybe the 4th or 5th or 6th time I've said the same things, it would be noticed. It's simple. Read all of the information that is here and have an understanding of the content before presenting an argument which has already been answered to. OK?"

 

[Miss*Bijou]

A very high % of your customers base have a gf or wife and they dont expect anyone to cover for them. But they dont want the sp to go out and give too much info if they are caught.

People keep saying she shouldn't have to lie for him or cover up for him..... none of us are saying she should have to. What we are saying is she shouldn't get involved AT ALL. No lying, no telling the truth... nothing, nada, rien. Zip it. Pretty easy to do IMO.


And I have to be totally honest here, I have been asking myself and cannot for the life of me figure out how one could think that posting a thread such as this one would be a good idea. I don't get it, I really don't.

Let's look at it this way:
Out of all the guys who are saying JPR did the right thing and was justified in doing what she did, how many of you are married ( edited to add: ) and pooning without your SO's knowledge? Anyone?

Um, still no one? Not even one? Shocking! lol

And I'd like to know why the few very revealing posts disappear so quickly. The ones I've had a chance to read before they're gone seem to me like they would it would be in ppl's favor to have the 411.

(btw I love how we've got all these new posters suddenly joining in on the discussion in support of JPR.)

 

[Dark_Knight]

This will be my last post on this thread. I have learned a couple things here:

1. Victoria Jolie, Miss Bijou, Vanessa Kelly and others are quite simply the epitome of what a true courtesan is. They have class and professionalism.
2. That Miss Rabbit is devoid of all the things you would expect in a true professional! Also, from watching shows like Lie to Me as well as many other police shows. When a person's story changes many times over the course of time, they know that the story cannot be trusted. In the course of this thread it has gone from Jessica KNOWING it was a clients wife right from the get go

I answered my phone this morning and knew right away that I was on the line with a clients wife …”This is going to sound weird but who am I talking to? I know I called you but who is this?”

to her being a sleepy haze and the person ALREADY knowing who she is talking to. Which is it? Were you truly tired and not know who was on the other end of the line, or as you first posted, did you know exactly who it was and she asked WHO you were? If she already knew who you were, why would she have to ask???
3. Discretion truly is a two way street. As much as we rely on the SPs to be professional and discrete with our information, we must also be discrete with theirs. (This has been much talked about in other threads as well)
4. That I would never want to see a SP that is soooo brazen with giving out a clients personal information.
5. This incident along with that other incident earlier this year (Misty and her website) have done tremendous harm to this industry. This is an industry based on discretion. I feel sooooo sorry for all the true professionals out there whose business you have caused serious harm to.
6. That the OP here is someone that seeks attention from us. I will remedy this, by NOT posting anything further to her or from her. I will put her on my ignore list and not post any further replies on threads regarding her.

 

[Hedonist7]

A few points...

With all interactions we have between us humans (and a few sub ones - by the look at this board) we decide which way to take it... like little forks in the road... do you engage in conversation with the street beggar, or do you avoid eye contact and just keep walking?

Obviously, with this call, the SO made a very good case with Jessica - be it by timing, language or content - and she "connected & engaged"...

If anything, this person must be a very good salesperson (if not a lousy lay...) and Jessica is demonstrating "a bit of buyer's remorse" and looking for reasons as to explain her behavior and justify her choices. Not that she'd necessarily make a different one was the case to repeat itself - which is what she has been trying to explain on this board. She appeals to her sense of values and explains the ways she sees things - and that's totally fine. She has decided to discuss on this ubiquitous web space the line where her moral compass dictates for her to choose truth over lies - and decision to trade off a client's personal info (even through mere confirmation) for a stranger's plea for truth and enlightenment...

She made a judgment call - and she is living with it - I applaud her for that.

But now she has consciously "stepped up" her role in her client's life and may be instrumental into what happens next (just like choosing to give that street beggar a sandwich, warm clothes or a place to sleep).

Wondering if her regular is reading this (all the talk on this board has been about anybody but him... 2 funny...) and how he feels about his new-found fame...

 

[JessicaPrabbit]

This will be my last post on this thread. I have learned a couple things here:

1. Victoria Jolie, Miss Bijou, Vanessa Kelly and others are quite simply the epitome of what a true courtesan is. They have class and professionalism.
2. That Miss Rabbit is devoid of all the things you would expect in a true professional! Also, from watching shows like Lie to Me as well as many other police shows. When a person's story changes many times over the course of time, they know that the story cannot be trusted. In the course of this thread it has gone from Jessica KNOWING it was a clients wife right from the get go to her being a sleepy haze and the person ALREADY knowing who she is talking to. Which is it? Were you truly tired and not know who was on the other end of the line, or as you first posted, did you know exactly who it was and she asked WHO you were? If she already knew who you were, why would she have to ask???
3. Discretion truly is a two way street. As much as we rely on the SPs to be professional and discrete with our information, we must also be discrete with theirs. (This has been much talked about in other threads as well)
4. That I would never want to see a SP that is soooo brazen with giving out a clients personal information.
5. This incident along with that other incident earlier this year (Misty and her website) have done tremendous harm to this industry. This is an industry based on discretion. I feel sooooo sorry for all the true professionals out there who's business you have caused serious harm to.
6. That the OP here is someone that seeks attention from us. I will remedy this, by NOT posting anything further to her or from her. I will put her on my ignore list and not post any further replies or threads regarding her.

Could you possibly have read and absorbed some of what I have written in regards to all of the above things you are inquiring about? All of the above have been addressed but please, let me type s l o w l y so that you can keep up DarkKnight.

I agree completely that the ladies you speak of are high calibre courtesans and there is no doubt in anyones mind that is the case ...but I'm sure they appreciate your review.

What about a police show on TV? Sorry but I don't even understand if you mean you think I'm watching them or if you are trying to impress people by saying (not clearly) that they should think you are SMRT for learning your investigative skills from the television. That's funny. Thank you for the laugh.
My story has not changed, it has been elaborated on as well as somewhat kept a teeny bit confidential due to a sensitive topic the wife shared with me but I've already explained all of this. My story did not change DK my facts are what they are because they are facts. You asked me some questions in regards to this so here are my answers:
~When someone says "I knew ...whatever" do you think it's a matter of taking it literally? I used it as a commonly used expression to express a gut feeling.
~I was awakened from sleep and hazy when I answered and still, as I have already explained, in the time it took me to correct myself physically, turn on the light ...put on my glasses, scratch my ass (lol) and sit upright she had provided me with a verbal wealth of information. I've typed this out so many times but for you DK I will do it again at 50 wpm instead of 100 ...ready? What she said to me included but was not limited to ...she had retrieved my phone number from his cell and it had my photograph with it. She had been to my website which would have confirmed my phone number ...keeping up DK? The photo on his phone must have been 'right clicked and saved to file' and then transferred to his phone because she said she was looking at the picture of me on my site that was on his phone. Now ...I realize that me explaining this is far more wordy and taking far more time than it took her so please do not fire back with a silly question about how she managed to get all of this information in within the first few moments of the call ...she did because she did. Remove all of my crap. Say the points that she would have said and you will see the amount of time involved in reality. Still keeping up DK? Why would she ask who it was if she knew? I really can't believe this needs explaining. It was not a matter of 'hand on hip' "Who the fuck is this" it was more of a plea for help ...like someone begging to know not WHO I was by name or occupation, rather WHO I was in relation to why her life was obviously spiralling out of control at that moment. Do you see DK? At all?
~You say I gave out a clients personal information. Glad to know you know everything DK. I didn't tell her a thing. She had all of the information she required. She was not calling to confirm the relationship because she seemed intelligent and had already concluded by way of evidence (you should like that it's kinda like TV PI talk ) that my number and photo matched the info on my website. Do you think she's stupid? Do you think she figured I sold a line of children's clothing using my site?
~I'm very glad you have put me on ignore because I think reading what I have written back to you, you'd be rather embarrassed at all of your assumptions being incorrect ...I know I'd be embarrassed.

DK ...go figging or get to the toy store and buy a kite, there may just be enough breeze to enjoy the pretty colours spinning through the air for a moment or two.

 

[HB40]

...I know I'd be embarrassed.

You should be.

 

[Pillowtalk]

JPR. you admit you have not been doing this for long. Then don't you think you should be listening to the advice of those who have been doing this for a very very long time? Instead of slinging insults and snarky comments at those who are reminding you of your role and responsibilities in your clients life, which is basically you are responsible solely to him. Your thoughts, concerns and feelings don't come into to it; who cares that you need to bare your soul or be honest with anyone other than your client. You don't. You are not obligated to his SO, mechanic, boss or employee to do anything, nada, zip. You are not even obligated to be "true to yourself" whatever the hell that is supposed to mean. Unless, (and if you do, you are not well) you provide him with your true name, true background, full history of work and family life, and blah blah blah, and feel like you are his next in line SO?


Instead of trying to justify yourself, why not just admit that you should not have spoken to the SO at all, suggested she talk directly to your client and hang up. You can't tell me you were worried about being called back, or harrassed by more phone calls, etc. Part of being an sp means getting a lot of crank calls, and learning to deal. You could block the #, if it actually came to that, which I don't believe it would.

When VJ says you are a danger, it means that you have shown yourself incapable of being discrete and keeping the confidence of your client. No doubt, other sps are aware of your inability to be professional, discrete and reliable, and will neither work with you (who knows what info you will reveal to other sps or clients about their personal lives) nor accept your name as a reference from a client (making in difficult for that client to see other sps). Plus, really would a reference from you be reliable? Would you say a good client is bad, just to keep him? Who knows? You are not trustworthy with your client's confidence; why would you be trustworthy in any other way.

You can repeat what you did and how it happened as many times as you want, but as someone mentioned very early on, until you admit that you should never have talked to the SO in the first place who would trust you? I can see, as do others, that you travel the back channels lol, and no doubt a condition of continuing to see you as a client comes with responsibility to support you in this thread. Well, who knows, possibly they are worried about what you might do with their SOs.

Apparently, you also think that every sp should present their clients with questionnaires, regarding "in the event of....". You can't seriously think that sps should chat with hundreds to thousands of their clients, about their personal lives and families, just in order to have a "plan of action" in case someone calls claiming to be their SO? lol. That is why so many sps come in here and say wtf at you, as well as many clients, because it is part of the job to NOT talk about your clients with ANYONE for ANY REASON. That you continue to pretend that is not true, and that you just so need to be honest, well yes you are in the wrong biz, because if nothing else, this biz is not built on honesty lol.

 

[wilde]

~I was awakened from sleep and hazy when I answered and still, as I have already explained, in the time it took me to correct myself physically, turn on the light ...put on my glasses, scratch my ass (lol) and sit upright she had provided me with a verbal wealth of information. I've typed this out so many times but for you DK I will do it again at 50 wpm instead of 100 ...ready? What she said to me included but was not limited to ...she had retrieved my phone number from his cell and it had my photograph with it. She had been to my website which would have confirmed my phone number ...keeping up DK? The photo on his phone must have been 'right clicked and saved to file' and then transferred to his phone because she said she was looking at the picture of me on my site that was on his phone. Now ...I realize that me explaining this is far more wordy and taking far more time than it took her so please do not fire back with a silly question about how she managed to get all of this information in within the first few moments of the call ...she did because she did. Remove all of my crap. Say the points that she would have said and you will see the amount of time involved in reality. Still keeping up DK? Why would she ask who it was if she knew? I really can't believe this needs explaining. It was not a matter of 'hand on hip' "Who the fuck is this" it was more of a plea for help ...like someone begging to know not WHO I was by name or occupation, rather WHO I was in relation to why her life was obviously spiralling out of control at that moment.

That conversation should never have gotten this far, I think you got suckered into talking because the wife was not acting like a bat out of hell. A simple: "many people copy my information and picture without actually going through with it, so I have no idea who you are talking about. I am sure you appreciate that I have a business to run and if you are not a potential customer, please don't waste my time." But instead you were acting like her long lost high school friend. That is what scares a lot of people.

 

[Pillowtalk]

I would like to know how many SP's who have been in the same situation as JPR and to honestly tell how they felt getting the phone call. Can they honestly say they would just hang up.

Actually the majority have had such a call, or someone pretending to be an SO trying to worry them, and I thnk it is clear they have said what they would do or have done: hangup.

. again she was asking for advice.

She asked for advice, received advice, and ignored/dismissed it and become belligerant and contemptuous of anyone who did not applaud and/or congratulate her.

I think it is pretty clear what we are seeing here.

JPR, as in my reply to one of your MANY pms, YOU do NOT have the RIGHT to discuss your client"s PRIVATE business with anyone. EVER.

 

[wolverine]

As a single and available guy, I don't have to worry about being outed as a pooner to an SO. I have the numbers of my favorite SPs on my cellphone list, and for all anyone knows, they are the numbers of girls I'm casually dating (which is true in a sense).

I'd be more worried about being outed as a pooner or blackmailed by an SP if I am thrown into the public eye for whatever reason, like winning the lottery or running for public office. Now that would be indiscretion to me.

If you're a married guy with a suspicious wife, much of the discretion falls on you, the pooner. I'd say the Bunny was put in a hard place there.

 

[juniper]

I keep seeing this kind of posting from you Angie in this thread. I understand you feel sympathy and compasion for Jessica's situation given you have had similar. I have one question for you.................

Do you think its okay to engage in a conversation with anyone, SO or otherwise, about a client and your time with him? Think of this as a yes or no question because there is no "Grey area" when it comes to discretion/confidentiality.

Actually, Athaire, there are grey areas although not necessarily in the current context. There was a famous case in California in which a psychologist, having treated a patient, was told that he (the patient) intended to go out and murder somebody. The psychologist, out of (undoe) concern for confidentiality, did not report the threat to the police. The patient, in fact, did kill. The information became public and has since involved all professional boards. Other than imminent threats, what happens in the case of criminal acts, assaults, martial abuse, child sexual abuse? In certain circumstances, i.e., the latter, the professional is required to report this to the police. In actuality, some circumstances remain grey areas. Ethical behaviour on the part of professionals is a very complex area. While Ms. Bijou brings up PIPA and massage parlours (businesses), I hardly think that individual acts of prostitution qualifies nor will ever come under the mandate of PIPA. It is an interesting idea but farfetched.

 

[myselftheother]

Thanks for saying what I've come to conclude about JPR fucking up. Her level of professionalism and discretion is in doubt, due to her doing something really dumb.....a rookie mistake. As a result of her posting this thread, she's been raked over the coals and rightly so for her insistent attitude that she did the rightous thing and outed her client to what is presumably his wife. Hell, might have been his wife's lawyer digging up dirt for a nasty divorce trial....

JPrabbit....your arrogance is unbecoming, your indignation is undignified, your level of 'maybe I did do something wrong' seems to drop with every protesting post. It's ok to admit that you fucked up, that you shouldn't have had that conversation with a client's wife or whatever this person was. This might be damaging for this industry, more likely it'll just be a minor wake up call for those who are married to cover your ass better, but the most damage is to your credibility, and will ultimately be to your bottom line.....Hundreds of pooner have now read this thread, your comments and gleaned from how you've conducted yourself that you are not to be trusted.

There is a level of trust that needs to be there for this industry so we all can have a good session safely and discreetly. Sp's like you put it all into question. Do you keep numbers to out others? Who knows? What other sort of things that you do are sketchy? Because of your actions, and your posts on this thread that you started, these questions are now asked. Sorry, but that's the way it seems to be going...trying to hang on to your dignity, and stand your ground....might wanna revisit your ideas about that.

JPR. you admit you have not been doing this for long. Then don't you think you should be listening to the advice of those who have been doing this for a very very long time? Instead of slinging insults and snarky comments at those who are reminding you of your role and responsibilities in your clients life, which is basically you are responsible solely to him. Your thoughts, concerns and feelings don't come into to it; who cares that you need to bare your soul or be honest with anyone other than your client. You don't. You are not obligated to his SO, mechanic, boss or employee to do anything, nada, zip. You are not even obligated to be "true to yourself" whatever the hell that is supposed to mean. Unless, (and if you do, you are not well) you provide him with your true name, true background, full history of work and family life, and blah blah blah, and feel like you are his next in line SO?


Instead of trying to justify yourself, why not just admit that you should not have spoken to the SO at all, suggested she talk directly to your client and hang up. You can't tell me you were worried about being called back, or harrassed by more phone calls, etc. Part of being an sp means getting a lot of crank calls, and learning to deal. You could block the #, if it actually came to that, which I don't believe it would.

When VJ says you are a danger, it means that you have shown yourself incapable of being discrete and keeping the confidence of your client. No doubt, other sps are aware of your inability to be professional, discrete and reliable, and will neither work with you (who knows what info you will reveal to other sps or clients about their personal lives) nor accept your name as a reference from a client (making in difficult for that client to see other sps). Plus, really would a reference from you be reliable? Would you say a good client is bad, just to keep him? Who knows? You are not trustworthy with your client's confidence; why would you be trustworthy in any other way.

You can repeat what you did and how it happened as many times as you want, but as someone mentioned very early on, until you admit that you should never have talked to the SO in the first place who would trust you? I can see, as do others, that you travel the back channels lol, and no doubt a condition of continuing to see you as a client comes with responsibility to support you in this thread. Well, who knows, possibly they are worried about what you might do with their SOs.

Apparently, you also think that every sp should present their clients with questionnaires, regarding "in the event of....". You can't seriously think that sps should chat with hundreds to thousands of their clients, about their personal lives and families, just in order to have a "plan of action" in case someone calls claiming to be their SO? lol. That is why so many sps come in here and say wtf at you, as well as many clients, because it is part of the job to NOT talk about your clients with ANYONE for ANY REASON. That you continue to pretend that is not true, and that you just so need to be honest, well yes you are in the wrong biz, because if nothing else, this biz is not built on honesty lol.

 

[athaire]

Actually, Athaire, there are grey areas although not necessarily in the current context. There was a famous case in California in which a psychologist, having treated a patient, was told that he (the patient) intended to go out and murder somebody. The psychologist, out of (undoe) concern for confidentiality, did not report the threat to the police. The patient, in fact, did kill. The information became public and has since involved all professional boards. Other than imminent threats, what happens in the case of criminal acts, assaults, martial abuse, child sexual abuse? In certain circumstances, i.e., the latter, the professional is required to report this to the police. In actuality, some circumstances remain grey areas. Ethical behaviour on the part of professionals is a very complex area. While Ms. Bijou brings up PIPA and massage parlours (businesses), I hardly think that individual acts of prostitution qualifies nor will ever come under the mandate of PIPA. It is an interesting idea but farfetched.

LOL....I deleted that post as I re read hers and realized she answered my question in her quoted posting. I think it is safe to assume that for the context of this discussion there are no grey areas.......but thanx for pointing out that in other circumstances there may indeed be extenuating circumstances....like public safety, abuse, etc....non of which is relevant to this discussion though.....

 

[jnewton]

There is a level of trust that needs to be there for this industry so we all can have a good session safely and discreetly. Sp's like you put it all into question. Do you keep numbers to out others? Who knows? What other sort of things that you do are sketchy? Because of your actions, and your posts on this thread that you started, these questions are now asked. Sorry, but that's the way it seems to be going...trying to hang on to your dignity, and stand your ground....might wanna revisit your ideas about that.

Ok, I have never met JPR, nor am I ever likely to (a little matter of geography), but I think these comments are stretching a point much too far. I don't think anything in what she has written justifies suggesting she tries to intentionally "out" someone. Keeping personal information for nefarious purposes is far different from a snap decision in a difficult situation. You can question her judgement in this particular scenario but it is unfair to suggest she is malicious. Anything I have ever read from her suggest she is far from that. I would hazard to guess that the edge that has crept into her posts (most un-bunny like) comes from the frustration of trying to respond to people who have not read the entire thread but are making uninformed comments that are totally off the mark. While I don't agree with her decision, I understand her stated reasons and because I don't know all the circumstances, I'm inclined to accept that in this particular case, she might have had good and valid reasons for what she did.

To JPR: I thing Angie gave you good advice. Let it go. There are some who will understand and agree with you, others who will understand and disagree politely, others who will take offense at what you did, and still others who enjoy being trolls and like stirring the pot. You've said enough for everyone to choose which camp they are in.

 

[MAXMILLIONS]

JessicaPRabbit, you sold him out.

just read the initial post, too lazy to read the whole string.
but in my opinion (if it hasn't already been said),
JessicaPRabbit, you sold him out.
and the client was stupid to have your name and photo in his phone.
probably deserved to be caught for being that dumb.
but you should have said nothing, business is business.
let him handle his own mess.
instead, you nailed the coffin shut on him.

and "your heart hurts"......
give me a break, you would have felt a lot better keeping your mouth shut.
your loyalty is to your client, he's paying you.....

 

[lenny]

That conversation should never have gotten this far, I think you got suckered into talking because the wife was not acting like a bat out of hell. A simple: "many people copy my information and picture without actually going through with it, so I have no idea who you are talking about. I am sure you appreciate that I have a business to run and if you are not a potential customer, please don't waste my time." But instead you were acting like her long lost high school friend. That is what scares a lot of people.

Jessica says she is an honest person, so i doubt that line would have been suitable
for her personal morality, considering that she seems to have recognized the
caller ID.

It was her compassion that appears to have moved her to accept the call, with the
end result being that she was thanked by her client afterwards and complimented
by the devestated caller.

 

[*trinity]

JPR, wake up. I have never read so much self righteous, immature, attention seeking, narcissistic, drama girl drivel in my whole life. I, amongst others, am still shaking my head.

 

[myselftheother]

No intent of maliciousness on her behalf was implied, just that the fact that she is defending what she ought to realize by now is a terrible mistake, and that by doing so, is putting her in a light of being unreliable and sketchy....she might have done the right thing if she were an affair, another lover, but as an Sp, she broke a cardinal rule, which is the wall of silence.

If this couple now gets a divorce, she might be dragged into court to testify against her client on behalf of the wife in support of divorce by grounds of infidelity. What then? Got to realize the scope of her decisions. Yes, her client is an idiot, should have not put her in a situation by being a dummy.

Ok, I have never met JPR, nor am I ever likely to (a little matter of geography), but I think these comments are stretching a point much too far. I don't think anything in what she has written justifies suggesting she tries to intentionally "out" someone. Keeping personal information for nefarious purposes is far different from a snap decision in a difficult situation. You can question her judgement in this particular scenario but it is unfair to suggest she is malicious. Anything I have ever read from her suggest she is far from that. I would hazard to guess that the edge that has crept into her posts (most un-bunny like) comes from the frustration of trying to respond to people who have not read the entire thread but are making uninformed comments that are totally off the mark. While I don't agree with her decision, I understand her stated reasons and because I don't know all the circumstances, I'm inclined to accept that in this particular case, she might have had good and valid reasons for what she did.

To JPR: I thing Angie gave you good advice. Let it go. There are some who will understand and agree with you, others who will understand and disagree politely, others who will take offense at what you did, and still others who enjoy being trolls and like stirring the pot. You've said enough for everyone to choose which camp they are in.

 

[Miss*Bijou]

Jessica says she is an honest person, so i doubt that line would have been suitable
for her personal morality, considering that she seems to have recognized the
caller ID.

It was her compassion that appears to have moved her to accept the call, with the
end result being that she was thanked by her client afterwards and complimented
by the devestated caller.

That makes no sense. If that were the case, then her personal morality would not allow her to provide services to married men in the first place! That she does provide her services to married men but then pull the morality card only when confronted by his SO is absurd.

If her morals make it impossible to keep her mouth shut about her client, then her morals should/would make it impossible to see him, get naked and accept money in exchange, from him and from any other married man. That's how morals work, you don't get to pick and choose when.

 

[SeekSteadyRegSP]

My heart hurts and I don’t know what to do.

I answered my phone this morning and knew right away that I was on the line with a clients wife …”This is going to sound weird but who am I talking to? I know I called you but who is this?”

Sigh

One of my clients wives, pain and sadness in her voice, a touch of strength that amazed me and the sound of confusion. “I’ve found your number and a photo of you on my husbands phone and I’m wanting to ask you some questions but I understand if you won’t talk to me”.

There was no question in the Bunny’sHeart. I needed to answer her questions.

She remained very kind, calm and intelligent throughout our 20 minute conversation. She never got angry, in fact she took the time to tell me she was not judging me for what I do. Wow.

Her circumstances are unique and I will keep that private, sufficed to say …she deserved the truth and she got it. I did not insult her husband, I did not say anything hurtful (that’s so not true and I know it, how could the entire conversation not have hurt?) I wanted to go to her and hold her and tell her what a wonderful man she has sharing her life. Too much to say, nothing would make sense to her or to me.

I did my best to explain the subtle and real differences between an industry favorite and a significant other. I told her that her husband was not seeking love or ongoing daily communication. I explained that, in my opinion, the industry offers a way for some men to avoid being pulled into a love affair. I told her that SHE is the one he wants to be with. I just don’t know if she’ll ever truly believe that again and for that I am eternally sorry.

My loyalties lie not with my clients, not with their wives but with my heart. Perhaps another person calling with a different attitude may have received a different response; but today, this call, this lady, this client’s life partner received the truth, not complete by way of details or specifics, just the truth as best I could explain things without graphic detail.

In the end …she said I seemed like a caring and intelligent person and suggested that if she and I had met under different circumstances maybe we could have been friends …Ouch. How the hell did I deserve that from her?

I don’t know if anyone wishes to say anything at all in regards to similar experiences or to offer advice. It’s something I will have to spend some time thinking about. I’ve always looked to the board members for support and advice when I’ve needed it in the past and I’ve always felt it was the right thing to do.

Like I said my heart hurts.

For what it’s worth …BunnyHugs
JessicaPRabbit

To My Very Special and Valued Friend and Client whose wife called me today ...
I thank you for all you've shared and I wish you the very best. You know I am here if you need to talk and I hope you know that I fully understand if I don't hear from you again. Please don't beat yourself up in regards to me. Concentrate on what's critical right now. I'm sorry if my honesty is not what you would have wanted me to offer her under these circumstances. It's all I could do.
I really think you deserve the best.

God this was expertly done!!! (I leaped right in here without reading the opinions of others)

The woman was bold... confronting that which she prooooooooooobably didn't want to know in many ways. You were sincere and honest and reflective of the good common sense that says: "when you're in that deep, the types of far-fetched lies which could get you out of such a conversation are too improbable to rely on".

Y'know what I wish for you (for better or for worse, I guess)... I wish that you had the chance to learn all of the details, just so that the instincts you were following would be satisfied by the chance to be reassured that you did the most sensible thing at the time.

I truly couldn't be more impressed by your response. You treated somebody else like a person, and in the process you inspired her to see you as a person. ("what you do" for a living doesn't even rate judgment in the context of that phone call)

I'm glad to know that someone responded as you did.


There just comes a time when, if you get in SO much trouble that you can't dig yourself out... it is important to have the reflex to humble yourself and dare to admit the truth to begin any small chance at doing the best you can from this point forward. Your client is in a spot like that, so in fact you probably helped him nearer to whatever small path of hope he can have from this point on.