BBBJ shouldnt be automatic. For a GFE even in real life in the dating world things are often wrapped up till they know you better so why expect an SP to feel automatically comfortable with things unprotected. BBBJ should generally belong in the PSE cause that is what it is. Should generally be one of those YMMV things I suppose. I'm all for all parties being in a comfort zone.
Should BBBJ's be Included in a Standard GFE Session?
- Thread starter Bad Santa
- Start date
Thanks for your very thoughtful comments, Jana!
You're obviously a very smart girl and have thought through the risks very carefully.
I wish you all the best.
Take care of yourself, Sweetheart!
Sorry Jana but inasmuch as your comments are appreciated by Bad Santa. They are .... wrong.
Frequent testing is interesting but useless if you are practicing unsafe sex. While waiting for your results you have already engaged in a risky activity.
A case in point. Little Asian Guy - fresh from this trip to Thailand (150 young girls) claims he doesn't use condoms.
And he claims he tested clean for STD (still has to wait a few months if he has contracted something but the initial results is "clean")
If you ask - every Perbert will say he is clean ( "this is his first time" ... "just got tested but didn't bring my results" ... " here are my test results freshly forged and printed at home" )
If we look at the current poll results we have about 100 Perberts and 70% think that a BBBJ should be part of a GFE .
I seriously have to ask if you think the 70 Perberts are informed and responsible ... I'd say no and as such I can't image themselves locking themselves in quarantine for "pinkeye"
You mention that every SP has to make a decision on whether to lower her restrictions .... how many SP's can alienate 70 % of their market ...
No matter how comfortable you are - a BBBJ is a risk. Your next Perbert might decide to wear a Value Village suit and a $ 15 rolex and could you identify the STD's he has ?
A Perbert doesn't have personal responsibilty to an SP ... just look at LAG or Vidwindow
Everyone has a personal responsibility to themselves. Only you, yourself are responsible for YOUR decisions, YOUR comfort levels, and YOUR actions.
If your really not comfortable with OTHER PEOPLE'S actions (which by the way, you have absolutely no control over) then obviously this isn't the industry for you.
Frequent STD/STI testing is not at all useless. As we all know that many people can have an STD, and not have any symptoms, frequent testing is a great way to work with lack of symptoms, it could be the ONLY way you find out. And wouldn't it be better to decrease the number of people you are potentially putting in a riskier situation?
I'm not at ALL saying that BBBJ offers no risk. All I'm saying is that some people are COMFORTABLE with that risk. Same with people that participate in extreme sports, or hell, drive or get on a plane. Every part of life has SOME risks, and not everyone is OK with those risks....and that's OK too. My posts have not been about the inclusion of a certain service under a catch-all phrase at all, they were about certain people who have the gall to make judgments and assumptions about others, when they are really in no place to judge. I'm sure, you, Stella_Hardon don't live everyday wrapped in bubble wrap, and coated head to toe in latex. ARE YOU COMFORTABLE WITH THIS DECISION? That's right, I thought so, if you weren't you wouldn't do it.
I think the poll results are partially "wishful thinking" on behalf of Perberts voting. A lot of gents would love if this service were available, but settle with a CBJ from their favorite SP, because she has so many other great qualities/talents.
I know I don't personally judge a pooner on what they wear. The guy in the Armani can have just as many scary things lurking in his peepee as the guy who puts together a suit from the Zellers special rack.
Quite frankly Stella, I would hope that YOU get out of this industry altogether, since it does seem that the stress of not being able to change the masses is trying for you. I really hope you're not an SP because your disdain, lack of respect, and lack of faith in pooners is quite appalling, considering they'd be your client base.
So I'm looking at a post by health nurse where the boys in Victoria are telling SP's that a BBBJ is safer than sex with a condom.
What is interesting is that health nurse shows the risks to the SP. Pretty much every STI is on the list.
That risk is pretty much shared by the next Perbert visiting the SP for an BBBJ don't you think ?
So there might be an argument that there is a responsiblity to themselves AND to those they interact with ?
As for the need / utility of testing ... I'd say that your points would be 100% stronger if CBJ were the norm.
What is interesting is that health nurse shows the risks to the SP. Pretty much every STI is on the list.
That risk is pretty much shared by the next Perbert visiting the SP for an BBBJ don't you think ?
So there might be an argument that there is a responsiblity to themselves AND to those they interact with ?
As for the need / utility of testing ... I'd say that your points would be 100% stronger if CBJ were the norm.
I think gfe should include what ever you want it to include, and if a pooner wants a specific activity, he can read your reviews, look on your website and see if you say bbbj anywhere, or whatever it is he is looking for. Or come out and ask you. To say an acronym should include a list of other acronyms is as silly and as hard to regulate as pricing for example. You will have 10 different people with 10 different ideas of what it should include.
The reason I started saying safe gfe on my website, is because I got an email from an American about a year ago, that thought gfe was code for sexual intercourse. He almost did not book with me, because I did not advertise gfe. I do not want requests for no condom bj, so I put safe in front of the gfe. I tend to attract the type of guy that shows up with a bottle of wine, some flowers and chocolate, lol. I am not interested in attracting the guy who sees nothing but a list of acronyms when he is looking for his next date.
Oh yeah, and I am pretty sure Stella is a guy or at least, he keeps saying he is, lol
The reason I started saying safe gfe on my website, is because I got an email from an American about a year ago, that thought gfe was code for sexual intercourse. He almost did not book with me, because I did not advertise gfe. I do not want requests for no condom bj, so I put safe in front of the gfe. I tend to attract the type of guy that shows up with a bottle of wine, some flowers and chocolate, lol. I am not interested in attracting the guy who sees nothing but a list of acronyms when he is looking for his next date.
Oh yeah, and I am pretty sure Stella is a guy or at least, he keeps saying he is, lol
Strange how any discussion about GFE devolves into a debate about the safety of BBBJ.
If the poll had asked "Does BBFS mean bareback full service?" and 70% of respondants said "Yes it does" would that also have devolved into a debate about the safety of BBFS?
Whether BBBJ is considered safe or dangerous is not the question, the question is, does the acronym GFE imply that BBBJ is included in the services offered.
The answer is that the acronym GFE means absolutely nothing anymore, as it has been used by any and every SP to mean anything and everything.
The term GFE in an SP's ad is like the restaurant that has had the sign "Under new management" hanging up outside for 20 years.
If the poll had asked "Does BBFS mean bareback full service?" and 70% of respondants said "Yes it does" would that also have devolved into a debate about the safety of BBFS?
Whether BBBJ is considered safe or dangerous is not the question, the question is, does the acronym GFE imply that BBBJ is included in the services offered.
The answer is that the acronym GFE means absolutely nothing anymore, as it has been used by any and every SP to mean anything and everything.
The term GFE in an SP's ad is like the restaurant that has had the sign "Under new management" hanging up outside for 20 years.
I agree. Ignore the GFE term and look for what she does provide. I am sure she will include a list of things in most cases, and if not, just ask if you are looking for something specific. I can't understand why anyone would assume that their interpretation of any term is the same across the board, especially when it has been shown over and over that it isn't. GFE can also be used to simply describe that she is interested in giving you a nice time with a friendly manner, but does not provide msog because that would, to her, mean a PSE session.
I don't disagree with anything in your post but I have to say that the answer to this question in all likelihood is "yes" and I think you probably know that too. Whatever the original question of a thread is, as people respond, the debate and the thread in question usually evolves into the issues that different members tend to have on their minds. And it would probably get boring around here pretty fast if they didn't.
if u want a bbbj then dont come complain that the gfe cost goes WAY up. seriously, why not get an actual girlfriend? coz u can't? you want more, then be willing to pay more!
In montreal bbbj was the norm and seems to be expected. Infact most girls let you do bbbjcim that i've been with and many swallowed also. In bc so many of the girls dont see opened minded and are hard to even get a peck on the lips. Had one russian veronika who advertise by joyce who was charging 250/h or soemthing who claims to offer gfe ...but when i ask her about lfk or dfk she goes another 50.00 and laughs on the phone.....took my business elsewhere.
Why is it that there are SP's who continually oppose the idea of delineating the terms "GFE" from "Safe GFE", and continue to insist that the term "GFE" shouldn't have to include bbbj?
Is it because you know that there are clients who might mistakenly come to see you when they otherwise wouldn't? I suspect it is because there is no rational reason other than that to continue to fight clarification of this term.
Why wouldn't you just advertise yourself as a "Safe GFE" if that is what you're offering? Your clients will know exactly what you're offering (and don't offer) then and neither them nor you will have any problems when you meet. What is the problem? Or is it because you know that if you advertise your true services that you're actually going to lose business then?
I very much appreciate when someone actually advertises themselves as a "safe GFE" because there is no ambiguity then. I think its just plain stupid for women not to include this term when they advertise if that's what they are and is all that they will provide - unless they intend to manipulate their clients with smoke and mirrors. If you're a safety girl and you refuse to advertise as such you're just begging for some guys to get into disagreements with you.
Why make this so hard? Just advertise yourself as "safe", everyone will respect that, and you'll never even have to have this discussion with anyone ever again.
if sp do not advertise GFE, then theres no problem, sp's control what they offer
if sp does advetise GFE, then BBBJ. DKF, msog, daty (digits?) are part of gfe
and how can be safeGFE with daty or kissings
so if so does not want to do daty or dfk or bbbj STOP advertising gfe
So, if you don't want to do it, that is your choice, but don't advertise that you offer GFE.
Similarly, if you don't want to do anal, don't advertise that you offer greek.
Simple enough?
the question is whether GFE should always imply BBBJ. I think not. GFE for me has always been more about attitude and communication. It's openness to a temporary pretence of intimacy, which provides a warmer and more playful experience. That is, more like hanging and having fun with a GF. It does not imply that we throw out the common-sense rules of safety.
But since there is no higher authority to decree a final definition for this term, and since so many men have taken it to mean "no protection" and "reckless endangerment", the term is now useless for my purposes and I will not employ it.
I'm not here to insult anyone, but for those of you who do play safely..."well done!"
But since there is no higher authority to decree a final definition for this term, and since so many men have taken it to mean "no protection" and "reckless endangerment", the term is now useless for my purposes and I will not employ it.
I'm not here to insult anyone, but for those of you who do play safely..."well done!"
P
PhoneGirl
BBBJ is like playing russian roulette with STD's. To put it blunty, it's bloody stupid. I have said if before and I will say it again, find an SP that respects her CLIENTS and HERSELF to protect both parties involved.
It's like driving drunk, it may seem like a good idea at the time but think of the huge risk you're putting to yourself and everybody else on the road.
If you are going to see a sex worker, always try to minimize the amount of bodily fluids exchanged, use condoms, limit kissing, use a dental dam for DATY. It's your life, it's not worth gambling your personal health for a quick thrill.
'nuff said.
It's like driving drunk, it may seem like a good idea at the time but think of the huge risk you're putting to yourself and everybody else on the road.
If you are going to see a sex worker, always try to minimize the amount of bodily fluids exchanged, use condoms, limit kissing, use a dental dam for DATY. It's your life, it's not worth gambling your personal health for a quick thrill.
'nuff said.
Why "limit kissing" with sex workers? Does this apply to any form of kiss, like closed lips, LFK, DFK?
Do the limits change depending on the body part kissed, like on the cheek, ear or butt?
Is kissing, etc, ok with those who are not SP's?
What is the limit, 2 kisses, 5 minutes nonstop, 20 or 60 minutes?
I have kissed for hours at a time and never got anything worse than a 24 hour bug or sore lips for a few hours. I guess the crack and saliva basicly kill anything that might be harmful.
Lenny, you sometimes stumble onto the verge of a few good points, then derail. Don't think for a second that nothing bad can happen.
It's a minimally dangerous activity for which many feel the risk is acceptable for the pleasure derived.
I've recieved scores of BBBJ's from dozens of SWs considered to be the highest risk groups and never got anything but a tooth indentation that lasted a day or two. Although i never do it if her mouth has sores all over it.
That being said, however, if one has self discipline and know how, a CBJ can obtain the same level
of pleasure, as i've said on this site before.
