How Does This F***king Thing Work??? OUCH!!!

[Bad Santa]

What is it with the showers at MPs? Maybe I'm just dense but I can't figure them out for the life of me.

My shower at home is nice and simple, for a "simple" man. Turn the handle to the left, it gets warmer, to the right, it gets cooler. Once you set it in a certain position, it maintains its temperature.

But at MPs, well let me tell you.....

Sometimes I think the SPs have hidden cameras in the showers so they can get their "giggles and guffaws" watching us hapless pooners trying to figure out the damn showers and hopping around while either getting scalded or frozen, doing the pooner's jig!

Some showers have a myriad of handles, with no proper labels, and while you are jumping around trying to get the right temperature, you turn one handle and suddenly get doused by a different shower head from above or turn another handle and it sprays ice cold water in your face!

One I was in suddenly started filling the whole fucking room with steam and I couldn't turn it off. I couldn't see a bloody thing as I stumbled around the massage room, groping my way as I blindly tripped over chairs and knocked over towel racks!

Even when they just have one knob, they usually go from left to right to get hotter, the opposite of what I'm used too. Others seem to have a permanent "cold" setting. Are the SPs trying to tell us something??

And then there are the "teasers." Turn the handle by the slightest increment in one direction, you get scalded, the slightest increment in the other direction, it's so cold your dick shrivels to the size of a peanut! Then you finally get it nice and warm and the damn washing machine turns on; Youch!!

I swear, I hear the SPs laughing in their little lounge.

No wonder they usually have a sly little smirk on their faces when they finally come into the room to the sight of my scalded pink red ass glowing in the dark!

How about an instruction manual, "How Does This F***king Shower Work, Directions for Dumbass Pooners?"

Haw, haw, haw... You can stop laughing now girls. It hurts!!!

 

[edmontonsubbie]

o.k....this is funny....I love the simple observations of things that most won't admit. I get confused over fancy door hardware....which way do I turn this fucker???? I end up looking like an idiot as I bump into the door that 9 out of 10 could easily navigate.

For the MP girls with the fancy showers.....wow, cool stuff and thanks to the owners for providing such an upscale experience. That, surely, was their intent. So, to maximize the use of that investment....why not hop into the shower with the client....lord knows you are going to be intimate anyway...that's just the end game regardless. Show him/her lovingly and carefully...how to use that shower. Don't assume they know. Take those 15 minutes to set the tone....I know that I, for one, would be eternally grateful for the extra effort shown. Not to mention, my sweaty ass would be far cleaner for having known the details on how that whole rig worked. Not to mention my overall disposition on thinking..."wow, she actually gives a fuck".

kindest,

eddie.

 

[jdtipper]

While I agree with Eddie on having the ladies join in, I have to know...are you guys white-collar workers?? Maybe its just me, but I love gizmos and gadgets!! Hell you want to make easy money, then install some complex doo-hickey with lots of buttons, lights and thing-ama-jigs... throw me in and im good for a solid hour or two, or at least until I figure it all out. And hell, if the lady wants to join in the fun, by all means, the more the merrier.

But I havent had the experience of those fancy showers yet, maybe they are super complex and frustrating. So im not saying your a fool for not being able to operate a simple shower... but why not just enjoy the intricate controls of something that someone put hours upon hours creating for the masses?

Maybe if you take a little longer the misses just might come in and help you out, who knows.

 

[edmontonsubbie]

lol....no....i am a tan collared worker....i am just stupid.

but, thanks for the fun reply. I always mess with people in the heat of the moment..."what's this button do?". Little inspires more confidence in my tan collared ability.

kindest,

eddie.

 

[Kittie]

I am honestly in hysterics reading this thread! Picturing you guys naked and confused hehehehe.


And don't ask me, I have a hard time with them too for the most part!


XXXKittie~

 

[HB40]

But I havent had the experience of those fancy showers yet, maybe they are super complex and frustrating. So im not saying your a fool for not being able to operate a simple shower... but why not just enjoy the intricate controls of something that someone put hours upon hours creating for the masses?

oh yeah, they're great fun when your dodging freezing or scalding water and trying to stay on your feet.

I wiped out once in a Legends shower. I made mention of it and suggested one of those shower mats for traction. The next time I stopped by low and behold there was a shower mat, trouble was it wasn't suctioned down and I took one step onto it and flipped right onto my ass, luckily I didn't pull the shower curtain down. I needed a massage during that session let me tell you.

Elite Retreats showers can be tricky, the hot/cold knob is very hard to turn so it's best not to fuck with it. The shower will be hot but bearable. The best thing to do there is book a session with Haley, she knows those showers better than anyone and has taught me everything about them.

Extreme Bodycares showers are my favourite. No doors to bother with and they are nice and big with flooring I never worry about slipping on. Yes the temperature control can be a little finnicky, but what I do is turn both the rainhead and regular showers on so you can bounce back and forth as the temperatures adjust.

I also like the soap at EBC the best, it smells nice and never irritates my sensitive skin. The soap at ER is good I guess but it dries out my skin a bit, maybe its just me. Most other places use something generic I think, probably get it in bulk or something, I hate that stuff and will often bring my own.

 

[edmontonsubbie]

lol....thank you Kittie. But, I am thinking...bullshit. Admit it...you know what those controls do....you are just holding out. For whatever perverted reason you might have. I am thinking the whole "camera's in the lounge deal" isn't far from the truth. But, given current standards of privacy law, that's likely not the case.

In any event, thank you for the post. Would you be willing to frame it up in such a way as...."I don't know what the fuck that shit does, just get your ass clean so that I can fuck it.....and, hurry up bitch".

There is little more sexy than a woman taking control over the things I wish to forget. I have three beer left in the fridge then a set of pillows that will love me unconditionally. I am so looking foward to meeting Kittie...she sounds fun.

I know I should stop posting but....what the hell.

kindest,

eddie.

 

[edmontonsubbie]

HB!!!!!...call me....wait don't....just message me or something. I wish to purchase the drinks tomorrow if possible...I owe you and I like to keep the slate clean.

eddie.

 

[HB40]

I have three beer left in the fridge then a set of pillows that will love me unconditionally.

ROTFLMAO!! You know I love ya buddy.

 

[HB40]

HB!!!!!...call me....wait don't....just message me or something. I wish to purchase the drinks tomorrow if possible...I owe you and I like to keep the slate clean.

eddie.

Let me check my schedule.....hmmm, putting the ex on a plane for Mexico in the morning, a duo in the afternoon....hey, it looks like my evenings free.

Oh wait, I was going to exfoliate and wash my hair.....aw hell, I'll just have an extra long shower at the studio.

 

[edmontonsubbie]

bitch...

oh shit, i need a minimum of 10 characters for a reply....fine....I will rephrase it...

bitch

kindest,

eddie.

 

[jdtipper]

Geez...why does eveybody always end up going for beer??? What are us NON-DRINKERS?!?! Maybe we would like to be invited out too once in a while. Man, doesnt anyone just sit back and roll a joint anymore? Ah those were the days.

 

[edmontonsubbie]

just don't go talking gestalt and existentialiastic theoroms....we beer drinkers have already done that.

love to have you join us though,

kindest,

eddie.

 

[jim]

HB!!!!!...call me....wait don't....just message me or something. I wish to purchase the drinks tomorrow if possible...I owe you and I like to keep the slate clean.

eddie.

ROTFLMAO!! You know I love ya buddy.

Let me check my schedule.....hmmm, putting the ex on a plane for Mexico in the morning, a duo in the afternoon....hey, it looks like my evenings free.

Oh wait, I was going to exfoliate and wash my hair.....aw hell, I'll just have an extra long shower at the studio.

Hey you two, get a room!

 

[Bad Santa]

I am honestly in hysterics reading this thread! Picturing you guys naked and confused hehehehe.


And don't ask me, I have a hard time with them too for the most part!


XXXKittie~

See!! I knew it, I knew I heard you girls laughing!!!

oh yeah, they're great fun when your dodging freezing or scalding water and trying to stay on your feet.

I wiped out once in a Legends shower. I made mention of it and suggested one of those shower mats for traction. The next time I stopped by low and behold there was a shower mat, trouble was it wasn't suctioned down and I took one step onto it and flipped right onto my ass, luckily I didn't pull the shower curtain down. I needed a massage during that session let me tell you.

Elite Retreats showers can be tricky, the hot/cold knob is very hard to turn so it's best not to fuck with it. The shower will be hot but bearable. The best thing to do there is book a session with Haley, she knows those showers better than anyone and has taught me everything about them.

Extreme Bodycares showers are my favourite. No doors to bother with and they are nice and big with flooring I never worry about slipping on. Yes the temperature control can be a little finnicky, but what I do is turn both the rainhead and regular showers on so you can bounce back and forth as the temperatures adjust.

I also like the soap at EBC the best, it smells nice and never irritates my sensitive skin. The soap at ER is good I guess but it dries out my skin a bit, maybe its just me. Most other places use something generic I think, probably get it in bulk or something, I hate that stuff and will often bring my own.

You actually figured out how to work both those showerheads at Extreme, HB? Kudos to you 'cause I'm still working on it.

And thanks for the tip about Haley. Gives me another reason to go and see her again!

 

[wolverine]

I'm not a plumbing expert, but I think part of the thing with MPs is the water consumption itself. You have showers going on and off in each room plus the washer/dryer for towels and linens - all of that competing for hot water. A busy MP probably needs several hot water tanks just to keep the place operational. Even in a highrise, you're in the shower and the person above you turns on the shower and the water temp changes on you.

Elite Retreat has the best showers, bar none. All they're missing are bidet nozzles in the floor!

 

[Dark_Knight]

I am so looking foward to meeting Kittie...she sounds fun.

She is fun.

 

[uncleg]

While I agree with Eddie on having the ladies join in, I have to know...are you guys white-collar workers?? Maybe its just me, but I love gizmos and gadgets!! Hell you want to make easy money, then install some complex doo-hickey with lots of buttons, lights and thing-ama-jigs... throw me in and im good for a solid hour or two, or at least until I figure it all out. And hell, if the lady wants to join in the fun, by all means, the more the merrier.

But I havent had the experience of those fancy showers yet, maybe they are super complex and frustrating. So im not saying your a fool for not being able to operate a simple shower... but why not just enjoy the intricate controls of something that someone put hours upon hours creating for the masses?

Maybe if you take a little longer the misses just might come in and help you out, who knows.

It's the Beer.

 

[a_shy_guy]

I'm not a plumbing expert, but I think part of the thing with MPs is the water consumption itself. You have showers going on and off in each room plus the washer/dryer for towels and linens - all of that competing for hot water. A busy MP probably needs several hot water tanks just to keep the place operational. Even in a highrise, you're in the shower and the person above you turns on the shower and the water temp changes on you.

i was a plumber at one point in time. ive had tons of jobs before i found the job i like and now settled with, so i have knowledge in workings of various aspects of construction.

there are several reasons why the temperature gets so finicky at MP's. one reason is that the hot water tank is simply too small in comparison to how much water would normally get consumed, the solution is to get a bigger tank. another reason it gets too hot or too cold is because of the distance the water must travel. the best way to keep the water hot, is to insulate the hot water lines. by insulating the lines, you keep the hot water in the line hotter for a longer period of time so when someone turns on the tap, you dont have to wait for all the cold water to flush out of the lines. id imagine that is the number one reason why it gets too hot and too cold constantly and is hard to find a comfortable temperature. its all in who was contracted to build the place, and the plumbing guy obviously cheaped out on the job.

in a highrise thats been engineered properly, each suite would have its own dedicated hot water tank. older ones may have a shared boiler system, but even then, it should have a reheat tank between floors to keep the water hot

 

[JessicaPrabbit]

This is funny ...I will fully admit that the showers at EBC are a touch on the difficult side to land in a comfort zone but gentlemen ...I have explained to many many of you prior to leaving the room and after starting the shower ...if it is too HOT, only a touch of movement to the handle and a touch MORE patience is required. Too Hot? nudge slightly to the cool (ever so slightly) and step away (before burning anything important that the ladies may wish to play with) and then ...yes ...WAIT A MOMENT OR TWO. I think it has something to do with a majority of clients being, for some reason, rushed to get done their shower ...you know, like at a Dr. Office when they say change and it's like BANG the starting gun is fired and you try your fastest to get into the paper robe without tearing it because gosh forbid you should be walked in on by a ...Dr. or a Nurse ... or a SP ...while you are 'naked'. It is either that or it's like eating a bowl of hot soup, knowing darn well that you are going to burn your tongue but you just can't wait ...maybe it's the arrival of your lady that has your mind in a 'need to get this done' mode. These are my theories which are not applicable to all clients by any means. Some clients adore the long showers and the double shower heads and take oodles of time soaping up and scrubbing down (BTBF).

I will let you in on a teeny secret if I may. EBC, unlike some (not all) other studios, does not begin your hour in the book until the lady is leaving the staff room to enter your room. Your hour is not started upon her leaving you for your shower, your hour is not started upon her leaving to go for a tinkle and a cleanse, or for a smoke and a pancake ...you get it? All I'm saying is
.....
A SLIGHT TOUCH OF MOVEMENT TO THE HANDLE AND A TOUCH MORE PATIENCE ...trust me, it works.

*** The above statement does not apply to days when we are in fact sooooo busy with laundry and back to back (front to front) showers that the supply simply can not keep up with the demand. If there is HOT water ...you can adjust it to a comfortable level, if you're having troubles ...allow me the pleasure of staying in the room until you are comfortable with the temperature of the water.

BunnyHugs
Jessica
www.jessicaprabbit.com