and so my daughter....

[edmontonsubbie]

...has decided to once again prorogue her studies in the venue of higher education that she chose. Sigh. I say this only because I am thoroughly annoyed and full of self doubt as to the why of that. This is the second time this has happened and I am now in a position where I am needing to draw a line....she can prorogue....her self doubts require further counsel. I think to myself...is it a result of my poor parenting? Was it all a result of my decision ten years ago to bust up that family? Logic tells me...no. Emotions...tell me....I don't know.

I/we will seek counselling of those that know and have seen such as this a thousand times prior. I don't give a rip about her proroguing.....I care deeply about her feelings of failure. She is a wonderful girl and I just need to find independent counsel that will ensure that the mother knows that also. Sum it up....today was a sucky day.

Having said that....I booked off work and called my one best friend in life...the "onewhoiwouldcallifihadonlyonecall" type of friend...and we went out for a beer. He dropped the bombshell to eclipse my own whining about how he and his wife of 21 years are splitting. Double sigh. I hate to be in a position to counsel on such matters.

I told him....well, you are a loser. He said...I know. Smart dude. Once that was out of the way, and we got to playing pool and his roving eye wandered over to a pretty hot young blondie....I said..."do you like her?"...he said..."duh". And I offered...well....as a single guy for a little while....don't spend your money indiscriminately....I know a pretty cool place where you can find what you need and be confident in the money spent....ergo...PERB. So, having said that, he is the only one to whom I would ever reveal my little "handle" on such an anonymous board as this.

The lovely ladies.....that I have met through this site....he will find the contact details if he chooses to follow my posts. I don't know if he shares my kinks...I don't really care or wish to. But, I do know that some very competent lasses inhabit this place.....Kendra, Lilith, Jasmine, Freyja, Nina, and a myriad of other intelligent posters spring to mind.

Sorry for this ramble....life is hard but it's never less than fun.

kindest,

eddie.

 

[island-guy]

...has decided to once again prorogue her studies in the venue of higher education that she chose.

Contact info? Rates?

I'm asking because the only way this could be relevant on an escort board is if she's decided on a new career as an SP.

 

[BcMod]

Contact info? Rates?

I'm asking because the only way this could be relevant on an escort board is if she's decided on a new career as an SP.

The lounge is open to most any topic and is not restricted to escort related items. Hence the Superman thread and the many, many, many, many hockey threads, along with an assortment of other non pooning related topics.

 

[CLIT COMMANDER]

Young people have troubles trying to figure out exactly what to do in life. The world is a funny place and very demanding and confusing for younger people so keep your chin up as I don't beleive that this has anything to do with you...just the times!

My sister took almost 12 years to finish her Bachelors degree!! Dropped out and restarted three times! Nobody has that beat right now except acutal Doctors!

Things will work out. Important for her to know that you love her and support her in her endovours!

My useless 2 cents.

Dr. CC

 

[edmontonsubbie]

Contact info? Rates?

I'm asking because the only way this could be relevant on an escort board is if she's decided on a new career as an SP.

I saw this reply as I went to bed last night and went....."oh well, everyone is entitled to their opinion....however framed"

The lounge is open to most any topic and is not restricted to escort related items. Hence the Superman thread and the many, many, many, many hockey threads, along with an assortment of other non pooning related topics.

ummm....thanks. That was kind of my initial reaction too but I didn't want to get into that. I just put my crap out there because I know there are like minded people who view this place and I enjoy their varying take on things.

Yes it is, even comments that lack empathy and good taste. C'mon Island Guy, I realize the dude went on an emotional tirade but it's his fucking daughter and she's not well.

ummm....thanks. It wasn't really a tirade though dood....more of a mild rant. I save my tirades for Tuesdays and Fridays. One must always act in moderation I believe.

Young people have troubles trying to figure out exactly what to do in life. The world is a funny place and very demanding and confusing for younger people so keep your chin up as I don't beleive that this has anything to do with you...just the times!

My sister took almost 12 years to finish her Bachelors degree!! Dropped out and restarted three times! Nobody has that beat right now except acutal Doctors!

Things will work out. Important for her to know that you love her and support her in her endovours!

My useless 2 cents.

Dr. CC

Hardly useless Dr. CC. It affirms what I have been discovering as I have shared this little event with a few tight friends.....they have or know of similar instances in the past or present. One interesting little gem out of this....as I was talking with my ex about the "what to do stuff"....she was...."and she's always been so clever, smart and focussed"...I corrected that gently with...."and she remains clever, smart, and focussed". A slight distinction, but a critical one.

She will take a year off at least....learn for herself that life is made slightly easier with credentials to back you up....and possibly go back to obtain them. Besides, after a year away school, student loans no longer require parental income to be taken into consideration. I am sure she will be able to access the necessary funds.

Thank you for the thoughts, I do appreciate them. Island Guy, I promise to confine my future posts to items of a more appropriate nature to this forum. It's the least I can do.

kind regards,

eddie.

 

[personalmale]

There's a book entitled "Do What You Are" You can find it on Amazon. If a person's going down a buffet and they sample a certain dish and they find out that they don't like it, are they a failure in life? No, they just don't like that sort of food. Same with jobs/or training programs. Want to set someone up for failure? Take the action hero and stick him behind a desk or the details dork and ask him to report back on the big picture concept for the company. In fact, there are certain aspects of my job that I hate and when I've had a bad day it's because issues surrounding those aspects of my job that don't fit my personality have consumed the majority of that particular day. When I read this book, after being involved in a number of years of schooling and subsequent work, surprisingly/disappointingly the number one job that I was best suited for..........was the one that I was doing. Now, if she has other issues besides just her "academic fit" that might be worth exploring. Life isn't a race and no one gets a prize for finishing first.

 

[cloud_9]

Contact info? Rates?

I'm asking because the only way this could be relevant on an escort board is if she's decided on a new career as an SP.

you are such a dick dude!

 

[HB40]

I told him....well, you are a loser. He said...I know. Smart dude. Once that was out of the way, and we got to playing pool and his roving eye wandered over to a pretty hot young blondie....I said..."do you like her?"...he said..."duh". And I offered...well....as a single guy for a little while....don't spend your money indiscriminately....I know a pretty cool place where you can find what you need and be confident in the money spent....ergo...PERB. So, having said that, he is the only one to whom I would ever reveal my little "handle" on such an anonymous board as this.

You are a good friend eddie, and no doubt a fine parent too. I'm sure your daughter will do fine, just think of what you were like at that age. And being a rogue myself I can say it is an adventurous path to take, I didn't even know there was a prorogue class....I wonder if a person can reach masterrogue status? Ah well, everyone has their own pursuits.

I save my tirades for Tuesdays and Fridays.

Those are Inglewood nights right?

 

[hunsperger]

my advice eddie is to relax and enjoy the journey...

life is a journey, not a destination or credential...

your job description during this journey is to be a supportive father who is always available for guidance, counsel and wisdom...

but is always mindful of the fact that her choices trump yours...

when it comes to making her choices, clever and smart is a good start...

but cut her some slack on focussed and let her find her passion...

when she finds or decides upon her passion, being focussed will be so much easier...

future best wishes to both of you...

 

[HubbaHubba]

Who posted this? It couldn't have been hunsperger. The post contains humanity and sensitivity. Who really posted this?

This is what's known as a change up spermie. You see, if he throws one of these every once in a while, he thinks it's OK to throw his typical turd balls more often than not.

 

[edmontonsubbie]

There's a book entitled "Do What You Are" You can find it on Amazon. If a person's going down a buffet and they sample a certain dish and they find out that they don't like it, are they a failure in life? No, they just don't like that sort of food. Same with jobs/or training programs. Want to set someone up for failure? Take the action hero and stick him behind a desk or the details dork and ask him to report back on the big picture concept for the company. In fact, there are certain aspects of my job that I hate and when I've had a bad day it's because issues surrounding those aspects of my job that don't fit my personality have consumed the majority of that particular day. When I read this book, after being involved in a number of years of schooling and subsequent work, surprisingly/disappointingly the number one job that I was best suited for..........was the one that I was doing. Now, if she has other issues besides just her "academic fit" that might be worth exploring. Life isn't a race and no one gets a prize for finishing first.

There are only the issues that surround the typical young lady in life. Self doubt, the need to impress, and the wonder of life. The premise of the book sounds good and while not being much of a fan of the "self help" section of the local book pimper, your story mirrors mine and if it was helpful to you then it likely will be to myself and others. Thank you for the recommend.

Damn straight dude. I spent years toiling through school to get a degree in Commerce only to find out that I hated the job and the work environment. Some time ago while moving I lost the diploma and didn't even bother to reapply for a new one. It wasn't until I was 29 when I figured out where I needed to go in life to be successful. Before that I was just a floater with lots of school.

So don't sweat your kid man. It's an ugly world out there. Let them find their way in life, even if that means being a floater and have them living at home for a while.

Smile....I recall the best advice I ever received from my father. He said simply "don't worry about it until you are 30. By then, you should be knowing what you need to know. Until then....c'est ca la vie". His words turned out to be spot on.

You are a good friend eddie, and no doubt a fine parent too. I'm sure your daughter will do fine, just think of what you were like at that age. And being a rogue myself I can say it is an adventurous path to take, I didn't even know there was a prorogue class....I wonder if a person can reach masterrogue status? Ah well, everyone has their own pursuits.

Those are Inglewood nights right?

I had to double look at this one....the word play on pro rogue...lol. I love that word. Thank you Mr. Harper for bringing it back into the daily lexicon. As for the Inglewood nights, I gave those up as I was becoming far too much the uberrogue and it was not helpful. Besides, the Inglewood is best suited to a quiet Sunday afternoon beer and a few games of pool. As a late night establishment, it can get slightly more than a little sketchy.

my advice eddie is to relax and enjoy the journey...

life is a journey, not a destination or credential...

your job description during this journey is to be a supportive father who is always available for guidance, counsel and wisdom...

but is always mindful of the fact that her choices trump yours...

when it comes to making her choices, clever and smart is a good start...

but cut her some slack on focussed and let her find her passion...

when she finds or decides upon her passion, being focussed will be so much easier...

future best wishes to both of you...

Thank you for the best wishes. I am not overly hung up on her retaining focus. I am hung up on ensuring that she knows that she reserves the right to make mistakes and remains well loved. It's part of the whole parent/child deal....I don't have to like her choices....but I am pretty much screwed in doing anything but loving the person behind them. I plugged in "American Beauty" to the vcr last night, what a great show. It mirrors my experience in many ways. The hard driving "everything must be perfect" matriarch....and the "what the fuck just happened here" patriarch.

As an aside, I do all of my book and vhs movie shopping at the Goodwill store on 97 street and 51 avenue. They have an amazing and changing collection of vhs movies for sale for $2.00 each and a small library of hard and soft cover books available from $.99 to $3.99. What an excellent way to keep well stocked in visual materials. I remember the first time going in there being a bit wierded out....thinking....what if I run into somone I know? I got over that real fast. The prices are simply too good to ignore and I will often buy two of the same title so that when someone says..."mind if i borrow that"....I can simply say...."no, but you can have it". I can't recall the last time anyone returned a book borrowed. Better to simply be honest upfront up about it and treat it like the gift that it has become.

Hi edmontonsubbie ,

I think fathers are so important . If you keep looking backwards it just insures the fact you can't see whats ahead of you . If you give yourself more credit you will see how much she trusts you and loves you enough to share with you her good choices and inevitably the poor ones. I believe there is no need to fret your still her dad and just as important to her as the day she was born. You know you have to make choice, it may be be difficult.

Sometimes you have to ask your self the difficult question ,
Do I want to be a popular parent ? Or do I want to be a good parent?
Either way it will all work its self out , you know this from your life .

I believe you'll do the best and right thing.

All the best you and your family

Jessica James

Thank you Ms. James. I agree that fathers are important....I would go so far as to say that the future of the human race hinges upon their willingness to procreate. It kind of helps when they take responsibility for their creations too though. Oh yeah, mothers have a role in all of that too.

Your comment about the popular vs. the good parent is spot on and one that I am mindful of. Hence the dilemna. Do I put the hammer down? How....where....for how long....that sort of thing. It's not like I have a guidebook on any of this. I am happy that the ex has agreed and we have booked sessions with a counsellor for just the two of us....the goal being an independent view on how to proceed....what is likely to cause the least amount of scarring....that sort of thing. The other reason I am happy on that is that it will give the ex (hopefully) an independent point of view likely mirroring most of what has been said above. i.e. this is not some sort of disaster, it is common, it is part of living, and as parents...our job is simply to continue to ensure our availability as needed.

I am going to lock down this thread (if I can figure out how) so that it can simply fade away to the back pages. Your replies have been delightful and helpful and I thank you for them.

most respectfully,

eddie.

I guess I'm not locking down. I don't have the power!

 

[sevenofnine]

i wouldn't worry about it as long as she is happy,

give her time,

a little bit about my kid, i pushed her all through highschool with no luck, she barely passed.
after high school she wasn't qualified for anything, she worked a year, in a physically very tough job,

which i never thought she would make it she was just to much of a princess,
she did, and became formen for a crew of guys.
she thought about going back to school. an acedemic advisor told her basicly to forget she was to dumb.

she is now a full time student at university, top of her class actually. holds down a job brings home more money then i do while going to school.

my point is, they have to make up there mind what they want, that is half the battle right there,
so give her time let her find her way, and give her a good example to follow.

in the end school, is nothing,
i am helping out a couple of girls i know, distant family actually,

they went from one abusive relationship to another, drugs sex, and an abusive husband,
ruined there lives.

trust me as long as your kid is healthy and happy that is the only thing that matters,