The "Unofficial Guy Code"

I am sharing this project with the board. It was to originally be my first book, but i have not the time to finish it. All men abide by the unwritten code amongst men and I like to highlight some of the funnier ones, please feel free to add you own:

1. In a public washroom, always obey the "one urinal" spacing rule unless forced by numbers to directly piss beside another man.

2. Do not engage another man in direct eye contact or conversation while either of you is urinating.

3. Under no circumstances do you ever "share" an umbrella with another man. Pick the man in the nicest suit and let the other idiot run for it.

4. Do not preen another man's lint off his blazer under any circumstances. It is polite to simply ridicule your friend with a dandruff or "head lice" joke to advise him he should brush off the offending lint or particles.

5. Do not advise another man he looks hot or sexy. Again it is polite man-etiquette to simply ridicule him as "fag bait" or "pretty boy" and the other man will understand and accept your compliment on his fashion choices or appearance.

6. Do not hold another man's hand unless it is your father on his death bed.

7. Do not touch another man in the following body areas: face, neck, buttocks, groin/thigh, and foot massages are not acceptable between men.

8. You may engage in consensual sex with a friend's sister if she is single, cute, and 21 years of age or older. Retribution is allowed if the age rule is violated from 18-21 in the form of said friend may sleep with any female in your family 17-50 of his choosing. Physical beatings are appropriate when the violation consists of the single or under 17 criteria.

Hugging...

You may always hug children, women (especially if they are hot), and your mother.

You may hug another man provided each of you keeps your arms and hands above the solar plexes and below the neckline during the hug and the chest contact does not exceed 2.3 seconds of total body contact. Under no circumstances may the hug exceed 5 seconds with another man (subject to the Father-with fatal medical condition-exception). In addition, you may never hook your ankles around the back of another dudes knees or thighs during the hugging - this is not negotiable.

Underwear...

Under no circumstances should you be in possession of another man's underwear, be they boxers, briefs, or man-thongs. You are at liberty to immediately "garbage" (using any handy stick-like object being careful to avoid direct contact with your hands) a buddy's drawers upon seeing them anywhere at any point regardless of whose residence you may be within.

If you are without underwear (for whatever reason), do not ask another man to "lend a spare pair", rather, you are required to go commando until you are able to return home or purchase a suitable pair at a mall.

Do not advise another man that you are in fact presently "commando" during any conversation- no father- with fatal medical condition- exception applicable.

Underwear continued...

there are absolutely no restrictions pertaining to the storage of "women's" undergarments, especially ones worn recently by hotties. they may be collected, traded, or sold as the case may be. typically a semi-verifiable story must accompany said items if they are to be sold. these items tend to have excellent re-sale value at workplaces and universities.

Shower Urination...

If forced by a lack of alternatives, you may urinate in another man's shower, especially if buddy has advised you he has "plugged" his own toilet and forced your hand. If this is the case, be a gentleman and ensure no visible traces of the event are left and there is no need to advise buddy of the "unfortunate" incident.

If you have plugged your own toilet, do not urinate in your own shower, attend neighbor's bushes or other suitable area depending on bladder urgency.