You know you are a Pooner when.....

[pro-boner]

You know you are a Pooner when.....

Your apartment neighbors comment on how many nice looking nieces you have, and
how ethnically diverse your family is.....ound:

You know you are a Pooner when.....

A visitor from out of town asks you for hotel recommendations and your mind automatically thinks of non-card access accommodations...

You know you are a Pooner when....

You need to catch yourself from using the word "pussy"...during polite conversations...

You know you are a Pooner when....

You bank account has a large amount of consistent "insert dollar amount here" withdrawals....

You know you are a Pooner when....

You hope your wife does not want to have sex....

You know you are a Pooner when...

You hook up with a civilian and you are wondering why her phone isn't beeping after an hour...

You know you are a Pooner when...

You hook up with a civilian in a bar and want to ask about her restrictions....

You know you are a Pooner when....

You over hear some guy bragging in a bar about how many women he has slept with and you smirk....

You know you are a Pooner when...

You habitually blow by the hotel front desk avoiding eye contact...even when you are staying there...

You know you are a Pooner when...

You eye pretty girls in the elevator and think...sp or not sp?

You know you are a Pooner when...

You have been in every major hotel.....in the city you live in...

You know you are a Pooner when...

You know which condos downtown are nice and which ones are not so nice....and daydream about the fond memories they bring to mind...

You know you are a Pooner when...

When you become a conniosseur of condoms and can give knowledgable advice to guys scratching their heads looking at the condom display at the drugstore...lol...

You know you are a Pooner when...

When you laugh at license plate letters...CBJ, CIM, BBJ, ..... Dad what's so funny?

You know you are a Pooner when...

You outrageously flirt with the most beautiful women, and you laugh when you get shut down, cause you just finished boning a girl much younger, more beautiful and more talented in bed than she could ever expect to be...lol...

Anyway those are just a few that came into my Pervy mind, all in the same vein as the "You know you are a redneck when" comedy.

Contributions any one??

 

[sybian]

You know your a Pooner when.....

You go looking for new pick-up trucks, and you worry about how big the back seat is, more than the size of the motor.

You know your a Pooner when.....You go to a strip club with a buddy and he mentions that the place has a second floor....And you almost answer..." Yeah, the rooms are small , but there's an ATM machine in the hallway"

You know your a Pooner when...You've just finished a full round appointment in Vancouver, and you take the 104th exit to the King George....Just in case you see something nice.

You know your a Pooner when....Before opening the page on Leolist ,you say to yourself.."Tonight..I'm in the mood for a little "Strange"

 

[sybian]

"Toe Prints on your windshield"......Thats happened to you as well?

You know your a Pooner when....

You don't buy the fully loaded diesel truck that's on sale for 8 thousand off sticker price, because the console between the seats doesn't flip up.

You know your a Pooner when....

Your planning the 10 hour drive to Calgary, and you cruise backpage's listings along the way, and your frustrated that Revelstoke has no representation....

 

[badbadboy]

You know you are a pooner when -

You look at the contents in your trunk - a cooler with a choice of red and white wine, your own personal body wash, and mouthwash.

When you are navigating your way through Downtown Vancouver and if you forget the Street names you will say to yourself "ok, across the Bridge past SP's old place, turn right, then left and go past SP #2's place and then head past that agency's incall and then head out to the East side past that incall :thumb:

Yah, I know google maps is there but I like my way better

 

[badbadboy]

How about when you see atm and think ass to mouth, not atm (money) ound:

I had to add my two cents in here ahahaha

See, I always think ATM is a pooner acronym and not a "Bank Machine".

 

[pro-boner]

You know you are a Pooner when...

The " To do List" on your phone is longer, much longer ,than your"To do Lis" at work.

You know you are a Pooner when:

You missed typed a digit on a phone number and asked some random guy for rates and availabilties. ound:

 

[wetnose]

You know you are a Pooner when...

The " To do List" on your phone is longer, much longer ,than your"To do Lis" at work.

You know you are a Pooner when:

You missed typed a digit on a phone number and asked some random guy for rates and availabilties. ound:

Yeah that happened to me ... I usually recover by asking them - wait you aren't 3G Hair Salon? Of course that sounds weak when the call is at 9.30 pm...

 

[LADY-VIA]

Classic lol

you know you are a pooner/escort when .....

you catch the guy beside you on the plane staring intently at you r phone while you are cruising around on a review board killing time until take off and then said gentlemen buys you a few drinks on the plane and then slips you his buisness card when you land. [if by chance you are reading this, yes I noticed you staring at my phone]


you know you are an escort when you often cofuse msg for msog and ask if there is msog in the food ??

or if the owner at the corner store says " god bless you miss and you take care " every time you run in quick for condoms sparatically and buy severl different kinds....

 

[LADY-VIA]

Gotta love the rope, chains, and screws eh!

lol Ive played around with the danger and caution tape too love hardware stores... Its a great place to talk to guys too as they always seem to be so happy in hardware store.. Ive had many chat my ear off about random tools.... while probaly thinking of their own in the back of their mind

I always think ass to mouth too when I see atm..


you definitly know you are a pooner when you desperatley take the split second you have at work to write down as many numbers as you can but have no idea who you are calling when you start dialing but just hope someone/anyone picks up.

I have a few ladies number saved in my phone for those men with somewhat of a feature type after recieving a few " hi angel/kristy are you around by chance today "

my response " hey there right building wrong office .. heres the number you need "

 

[vancity_cowboy]

you know you are a pooner when...

you look all hot young civvie women over, and you're confident you can have them if you want, but you're just not sure how much it will cost you

you know you are a pooner when...

you habitually 'delete browsing history' on every computer you ever use

 

[girth-brooks]

You know you are a pooner when...

You're out on a legit date with a lovely young lady and you can't figure out why you're still wearing clothes in the first hour.

You're closer with more women on LeoList than people that really know you on Facebook.

You've had more sex with different women than some of your friends have combined.

 

[xraytext]

Ykypw

When bra size is figured at a glance.

When "denier" means something to you

When you can navigate hair extensions

When waxed or shaved is how you remember dates

When you can unhook anything with your fingertips

 

[Ms Erica Phoenix]

lol Ive played around with the danger and caution tape too love hardware stores... Its a great place to talk to guys too as they always seem to be so happy in hardware store.. Ive had many chat my ear off about random tools.... while probaly thinking of their own in the back of their mind

I always think ass to mouth too when I see atm..


you definitly know you are a pooner when you desperatley take the split second you have at work to write down as many numbers as you can but have no idea who you are calling when you start dialing but just hope someone/anyone picks up.

I have a few ladies number saved in my phone for those men with somewhat of a feature type after recieving a few " hi angel/kristy are you around by chance today "

my response " hey there right building wrong office .. heres the number you need "

LOL Right building wrong office!!

I have had a couple calls like that too...asking for the wrong cougar...I always say Right occupation wrong name! ;D

 

[kinky_guy]

Sitting at a hockey game and seeing, " shots on goal".

 

[pro-boner]

You know you are a Pooner when....

Ethnic girls are not nearly as mysterious as the were at one time.

You have white envelopes stashed in all your vehicles...

You have lively teasing text exchanges with a couple of girls everyday, even on non Pooning days....

You feel very comfortable walking into a restaurant with a much younger very beautiful woman on your arm...(hey doesn't everyone do this? lol)

you buy your Favourite condoms by the gross, the funny thing is, you actually go through them:0

 

[Jethro Bodine]

You know you're a pooner when the firstt thing you do when you turn on your computer in the morning, is not to check the weather, read the sports scores, check the stock market, catch up on the news or read your emails but to log onto PERB.

You know you're a pooner when you automatically have your computer set to "Private Browser" and "Delete Search History and all Cookies" when you shut down.

 

[Cami Parker]

REWIND!!!!
A ladder....?!? Lol

When sitting stuck in some traffic and you see a house that you climbed up a ladder to enter a SW's bedroom window so she wouldn't have to sneak you in the regular doorway.

You ask for greens and purple's when cashing out at a casino

You grab handffulls of condoms at the clinic or pull up to the MAP Van as its making its rounds and get a load there as well as some lube

You seem to consistently gravitate to ERS or other advertising sites whenever you log on online

You always make sure you have that stash of pooning $$ tucked safely in your wallet ready to go at a moments notice

Your wife sends you to the store for some bread and you return home after she's gone to bed without your cash or the bread

Your always checking your vehicle or pockets for empty condom wrappers and other telltale signs of your adventures the night before

To your horror you notice toe prints on your windshield or footprints on your headliner as you have your mom and rest of the family in your vehicle for a family outing (could windup being a real outing)

Every time the cops pull you over they ask if you had a prostitute in your car recently or they have a knowing smirk on their face when you get an infraction and your family is onboard or they are wondering why you chose a certain road to be driving on late at night

You look in your mirror and see another extended family member driving behind you and you have a hot lookin Ho in your car

You have an assortment of excuses for leaving the house and returning at odd times with an empty wallet

You look at your wrist for the time and realize you have lost another among countless watches that you've left on a motel nightstand or some broads room and you don't bother trying to get it back cause it's a cheap piece of crap anyway

You freak out every time your phone lights up with a message on your screen cause it could be a Ho returning your call up to days later

All your debit and cc cards are maxed out and your at moneymart getting a payday loan so you can go poon some more

 

[sybian]

Yeah I was wondering the same thing?
I know last time I was involved with a ladder in a girls bedroom window , I ended up getting a shotgun blast in the ass by a very angry Farmer....Who had very good looking daughters.

Yeah....I'm a different kind of stupid.

 

[Cami Parker]

That's so awesomely filthy...
I love it

 

[Cami Parker]

Awesome! Reminds me of my favorite old joke... You know the ones you thought were SO DIRTY as a kid.
3 young men driving down a desolate road in a storm where their car breaks down near an old farmhouse.in the farm live a mean old farmer and his beautiful whore of a daughter....
You can guess where it goes from there lol

Yeah I was wondering the same thing?
I know last time I was involved with a ladder in a girls bedroom window , I ended up getting a shotgun blast in the ass by a very angry Farmer....Who had very good looking daughters.

Yeah....I'm a different kind of stupid.