why the wife may be saying no

[anonanon]

What she expected was an ass that wasn't fresh with recent shit nuggets.

Next time I have the runs..can I offer you a complimentary session full of DATO and DATY, Lovin?

Seriously though..some guys get the 'nervous shit' thing...hahahah. They get all nervous and have to take a poop.

I dont know. Ive never been so nervous that i had to run and take a shit.

 

[Cock Throppled]

What happened to plain old courtesy and respect for another person?

 

[stryker]

Seriously though..some guys get the 'nervous shit' thing...hahahah. They get all nervous and have to take a poop.

Regardless,,I always "Wash" my ass after taking a dump,,sorry,, just butt fluff just dosn't cut it for me,,I like to be clean.

 

[gravitas]

I always "Wash" my ass after taking a dump

OK, I'll bite.....how do you pull this off when away from home? Say you're in the middle of a hit and need to run into a McSpork to quickly drop a loaf.....ask the staff for a mitt full of paper towels and bucket of soapy water

What happened to plain old courtesy and respect for another person?

its been replaced by the pervasive David Dingwall "I'm entitled to my entitlements.", the Madonna baby stealing, Britney Spears/Paris Hilton/generic talentless skank show my cooter attitude

 

[stryker]

OK, I'll bite.....how do you pull this off when away from home? Say you're in the middle of a hit and need to run into a McSpork to quickly drop a loaf.....ask the staff for a mitt full of paper towels and bucket of soapy water

Fo r some reason my metabolism(sp)runs like clock work,pinch one off and wash before I head out to do whatever,,a good diet helps.
The numerous times I did need to go,or felt like I might have sour ass,always fortunate to have access to a private bathroom with soap and water.

Ya ya,,someone would probley ask,,,when I go camping,,take wet whipes,,have a solar shower,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Don't forget the soap!!!I love chewing & licking a nice clean pussy,,I always have tried to do the same for my lady friends,,,,,,,,after all,,who wants to smell last nights digested dinner?

 

[westwoody]

Auntie Flo's monthly visit

A few months ago I had a guy come see me.. he was nice, clean etc.. After we were finshed.. He let one rip in the middle of a nice bit of cuddling.. The gross part was it was more than a fart... he left a brown spot on the sheets..

Now that you mention it, I had an escort over recently who maybe should have been taking a couple of days off instead of working. She left an indelible mark on my brand new sofa...

 

[steven69]

Could this thread be called
"toilet humour"?

 

[xoxo Amie]

PERB-land Parable

Client walks in & immediately tells me he's freezing cold & needs to use the bathroom cuz he's ready to explode. Charming. Here i am dressed in pigtails, see thru pink babydoll dress & 6" lucite heels and that's how i get greeted?

Comes out a few minutes later after he's stunk up my bathroom. Great, now i'm really getting wet with excitement. I ask him to take a shower. Oh no he says, just had one 45 min ago. Does he seriously expect me to 69 him with fresh bathroom butt? I push stinky back into the stank & thankfully he's in there for a good 5 min pumping away at the liquid soap.

Well big baby has now stopped complaining, he's warmed up from the shower & doesn't smell like an outhouse. Dumbo sprawls himself on my k-size bed. Mmm, untrimmed pubes too, lucky me. I have no doubt guys like this do a reverse anorexic when they look in the mirror and see a potential pornstar but hey, all the power to him i spose.

Get him taken care of, he uses the washroom again and on his way back to bed makes some loud burps & belches...not sure which orifice they came from but the suite again immediately fills with gut rot. I open the window. He tells me he felt lousy all morn & had take-out szechuan the nite before. Ah, post-coital romance, too.

All i can add to this is thank heavens he didn't ask for a finger up the butt. That would've ended the session with my climactic purge.

Dearest VV,

I am amazed...
no - in awe
of your good humour & patience

And thank you for sharing
May we all take note
& learn from your misfortune...
A PERBland parable of sorts

Lucky that guy
got ultra professional you
and not nervous & flighty me
because personally
(no pun intended)
I wouldn't be putting up with none of the !@#$

*umm yeah, - next time we are out, drinkys are definitely on me, Lady! *

 

[DJLAW]

i wonder how many guys right now are looking at their pubes and thinking "i wonder if i should trim them a bit?!?!"

 

[xoxo Amie]

i wonder how many guys right now are looking at their pubes and thinking "i wonder if i should trim them a bit?!?!"

exactly! lol

It is technically "PAY for PLAY"
however, there is nothing wrong
with putting on your best game face
(presenting yourself in the best possible manner)
weighing the odds in your favour
maybe turning a "good time"
into a "great time"

 

[sonoman]

Respects to VV, Avarice, et al:

Mods - please put a lock on this thread! I can't read any more!

(and no, it wasn't me!! )

 

[shapeshifter]

i wonder how many guys right now are looking at their pubes and thinking "i wonder if i should trim them a bit?!?!"

hahah! that reminded me of a funny conversation I had with an SP.
I can't remember how we got onto the topic of male grooming but I asked her about that and she said:
"Here's how to know when the chicken needs plucking, if you can touch your chin against your chest, look straight down while in a standing position and SEE pubes...it's time for the weed whacker!"

I have always trimmed mine back and shave my balls

I tried her test and no pubes in sight

So i asked her what about guys who have big beer guts and can't even see their FEET when they look down?

She said, gross as it might sound she has had fat guys visit her that could still see pubes while looking down over a beer belly!"
I damn near laughed myself sick!
How fucking long and wirey would pubes be that you could see them sticking out beneath a beer belly???

Glad I'm not an SP!