1. When you want to screw your secretary, you can always depend on him to have an extra condom.
2. He knows all the hotels in town with hourly rates.
3. He can include humorous first-hand anecdotes when giving the company safe-sex lecture.
4. You can always depend on him to keep a cool head around that hot girl in accounting. After all, he says that compared to Tianna she is at best a six.
5. Savings on office supplies. How? All those paper clips that get stuck on the bottom of the pen holder---he can get them out with his tongue.
6. You know he's conscientious because each time he licks a stamp he instinctively looks up and asks, "How was that? Good?"
7. Unlike many men, he won't waste valuable company time and resources photocopying his ass. After all, he's seen his ass a thousand times in ceiling mirrors.
8. You know he's patient because when the female staff send him emails asking for the date, he never gets angry even though they keep spelling date with "Y" instead of "e".
9. Your wife likes him. Your daughter likes him. Your maid likes him. Your secretary likes him. But strangely enough they have trouble spelling "date" too.
10. He can help if you ever want to expand your business into Europe because he knows a lot of women that speak Greek.
11. He'll be an asset to the company hockey team because you always hear him insisting on the phone that he had to get multiple shots on goal.
12. He demands perfection. Apparently he had your secretary do some task and he made her come five times before it was done. Even your wife said he made her come twice and she's not even an employee!
13. You can be sure he understands the importance of teamwork. After all, if there's one thing that somebody who gets his balls shaved needs to know, it's teamwork.
14. He has experience in complicated personnel data systems based on coded classifications like GFE, MSOG and BBBJ.
15. He is experienced in outsourcing vital tasks to agencies and freelancers while still maintaining strong in-house relationships.
16. If there's one thing he knows the importance of, it's confidentiality.
17. He has the knowledge to set up a comprehensive and confidential staff review board so you can know who on your staff is only YMMV.
18. He knows how to get low-level staff to work for peanuts....well, candy bars.
19. The elves he gets for the company Christmas party give "extras".
20. He has great ideas that are really counterintuitive. For example, who would have thought that hanging a sliding black curtain across the opening of each office booth would improve company morale so much? Now when employees talk about the daily grind, they smile!
2. He knows all the hotels in town with hourly rates.
3. He can include humorous first-hand anecdotes when giving the company safe-sex lecture.
4. You can always depend on him to keep a cool head around that hot girl in accounting. After all, he says that compared to Tianna she is at best a six.
5. Savings on office supplies. How? All those paper clips that get stuck on the bottom of the pen holder---he can get them out with his tongue.
6. You know he's conscientious because each time he licks a stamp he instinctively looks up and asks, "How was that? Good?"
7. Unlike many men, he won't waste valuable company time and resources photocopying his ass. After all, he's seen his ass a thousand times in ceiling mirrors.
8. You know he's patient because when the female staff send him emails asking for the date, he never gets angry even though they keep spelling date with "Y" instead of "e".
9. Your wife likes him. Your daughter likes him. Your maid likes him. Your secretary likes him. But strangely enough they have trouble spelling "date" too.
10. He can help if you ever want to expand your business into Europe because he knows a lot of women that speak Greek.
11. He'll be an asset to the company hockey team because you always hear him insisting on the phone that he had to get multiple shots on goal.
12. He demands perfection. Apparently he had your secretary do some task and he made her come five times before it was done. Even your wife said he made her come twice and she's not even an employee!
13. You can be sure he understands the importance of teamwork. After all, if there's one thing that somebody who gets his balls shaved needs to know, it's teamwork.
14. He has experience in complicated personnel data systems based on coded classifications like GFE, MSOG and BBBJ.
15. He is experienced in outsourcing vital tasks to agencies and freelancers while still maintaining strong in-house relationships.
16. If there's one thing he knows the importance of, it's confidentiality.
17. He has the knowledge to set up a comprehensive and confidential staff review board so you can know who on your staff is only YMMV.
18. He knows how to get low-level staff to work for peanuts....well, candy bars.
19. The elves he gets for the company Christmas party give "extras".
20. He has great ideas that are really counterintuitive. For example, who would have thought that hanging a sliding black curtain across the opening of each office booth would improve company morale so much? Now when employees talk about the daily grind, they smile!
