why do men love

[CJ Tylers]

Men fall in love in seconds.... and spend the rest of their life trying to figure it out. Some even manage to not eff it up along the way.

For me, it's a feeling of complete ease, coupled with a raging desire (not that kind of raging desire, get your mind out of the gutter) to be close to her. No words need be said, nothing sexual need be done... it's good enough to just "be". Sadly, it's been a very long time since I felt that way about someone...

When men have no ulteriour motive, that's where you'll find love... that's when they will stay and always be true. Any other time, you're probably looking at trouble brewing.

 

[jesuschrist]

Men fall in love in seconds.... and spend the rest of their life trying to figure it out. Some even manage to not eff it up along the way.

I guess you're a man, but you speak about the topic like a woman.
Anyways, putting the blame on the man ..."EFF IT UP", as you say, is wrong. A relationship is a symbiotic state. It takes 2 people to fuck a relationship up, and 2 people to make it work. One person who sits on the sidelines and accusing the other in the relationship of fucking it up is himself/herself at least equally to blame, with an attitude like that.

 

[wilde]

In Japanese writing, a word for " love" (ai) is written in one character which has two parts in it.

受 means "to accept".

心 which you can find in 受 means "heart".

So, I tend to understand " to love someone" means " to accept who the person is"

So when I love someone, I don't think "I would love him more if he is this and does that."
If his feet stink, I would love the smell.
If he fucks around on me, I accept it, smile and give him a condom, waiting for him to come home to have meal with me.

When I am the center of the relationship, " I want that", "take me out", and "love me more", that's not love... At least in terms of general idea of love in Japan. We have a different word for the me-centered feeling for someone.
(FYI, it is 恋 (koi))

Both 愛 and 恋 are an excellent word/ concept. I tend to think every 愛 starts from 恋.
When the relationship shift from me-centered to you-centered, that's, I say, love.

I am sorry to be picky but those are Chinese characters adopted/borrowed by the Japanese whom have since tried to wipe them out from the Japanese language and every day usage. It would be equivalent to the American people who start calling the English language American.

From wikipedia:

"Kanji (漢字; About this sound listen) are the adopted logographic Chinese characters hanzi[1] that are used in the modern Japanese writing system along with hiragana (ひらがな, 平仮名), katakana (カタカナ, 片仮名), Indo Arabic numerals, and the occasional use of the Latin alphabet (known as "rōmaji"). The Japanese term kanji (漢字) for the Chinese characters literally means "Han characters"[2] and is the same written term in the Chinese language to refer to the character writing system hanzi (汉文/漢字). [3]

Historically, attempts to limit the number of kanji in use commenced in the mid-19th century, but did not become a matter of government intervention until after Japan's defeat in the Second World War. During the period of post-war occupation (and influenced by the views of some U.S. officials), various schemes including the complete abolition of kanji and exclusive use of rōmaji were considered. The jōyō kanji ("common use kanji", originally called tōyō kanji [kanji for general use]) scheme arose as a compromise solution.

Japanese students begin to learn kanji from their first year at elementary school. A guideline created by the Japanese Ministry of Education, the list of kyōiku kanji ("education kanji", a subset of jōyō kanji), specifies the 1,006 simple characters a child is to learn by the end of sixth grade. Children continue to study another 939 characters in junior high school, covering in total 1,945 jōyō kanji. The official list of jōyō kanji was revised several times, but the total number of officially sanctioned characters remained largely unchanged."

愛 means love and if you break it down by the 2 characters that make it up, it means to accept/receive with your heart...

 

[CJ Tylers]

I guess you're a man, but you speak about the topic like a woman.
Anyways, putting the blame on the man ..."EFF IT UP", as you say, is wrong. A relationship is a symbiotic state. It takes 2 people to fuck a relationship up, and 2 people to make it work. One person who sits on the sidelines and accusing the other in the relationship of fucking it up is himself/herself at least equally to blame, with an attitude like that.

<< 100% alpha, bro. Don't read too much into it, just because I can wax poetic & speak very open and honestly about it. Besides, it IS the truth. Us fellas don't "work on it" (re: relationships)... we decide from the get go without much other thought, whether we're in love... or in lust. How many times have you met a girl and thought "damn, I want to bang her from dusk to dawn" or, "wow... there's something... different... about this girl. Me likey!". You almost always know in your gut, immediately, where your true intentions lie.

If a guy has to "work on a relationship", or hell... attend couples counselling... for alot of guys it means he's not really into the relationship. He isn't in love & if he says he is, he's just lying to himself. He's just grown dependant on the relationship, or feels that there's some physical or financial benefit to working things out. If the gal is nuts, well, there's nothing a guy can do here... best cut your losses and drop her like the emotional and financial dead weight that she is/will become.

Also, we usually ARE more prone to effing up a relationship... wandering hands and missing brain syndrome (the very place that this conversation is happening speaks volumes, no?). Or, more commonly, we just don't pay attention to stuff that doesn't seem important to us, but apparently is of vital importance to our partner. How many times have you been in a relationship, had an arguement and thought "wtf just happened there? We argued about absolutely NOTHING."

Of course, woman can be equally (and often are) part of the problem in a failed relationship. Men and woman are notoriously bad at communication, when it comes to one another. Maybe true love is best defined as being in "sync", or "perfect communication".

Finally, I don't buy the 100% 50/50 line of thought when it comes to a relationship going south... sometimes, no matter what you do, it really is just the other person....and other times, it really is just you. We never see ourselves as acting crazy, right? To me, always assuming 50/50 means you are looking to put the blame at least partially on someone else, so you don't have to feel bad if you really messed up (or you're trying to make someone else feel better if they really messed up). It's a convenient emotional crutch that appeals to everyones sensibilities.

 

[CJ Tylers]

sort of reminds me of the old saying; women get involved with men thinking "I can change him" and he doesn't and men get involved with women thinking "I hope she doesn't change" and she does.

Quite often the truth, amigo.

 

[wilde]

When you start dating somebody, both parties present their best side to the other (or at least I hope we do) with some white lies and slight exaggerations thrown into the mix. If the relationship progresses pass the casual phase, we begin to learn more about each other and see all the possible sides including the worst. At this stage, if certain deal breakers present themselves such as one wants kid but the other does not, the relationship might end. Some choose to tolerate these deal breakers but eventually they become too much to bear. If you are lucky and have no deal breakers, then you move into the serious stage pondering cohabitation or marriage. Once you are pass this stage, congratulations, she now has you by the balls. Notice how love does not enter into the equation. Love is something that you develop overtime and will mean different things during different times of the relationship much like sex does.

Men are simple really. We just want to feel wanted and have a purpose in life. Don't disrespect me in front of my friends, do give me a BJ more than once a year on my birthday, and even if you don't enjoy doing the deed with me any more just pretend you do coz the feeling is probably mutual.

 

[wilde]

Chinese writing of love is slightly different.
I believe it has no "heart" part in it.

For the purpose of the discussion, I don't think we should get into the who started this first, who took that from who, or who conquer who and who did this and that in a context of history. It seems like you are the one who wants to get into this, all I am pointing out is it is not Japanese.

But if you think you do, go right ahead.

But if you need to be picky, you should notice that the character is slightly different, and the character I presented was a Japanese character that ancient Japanese added the heart in.
That is BS and again it is not a Japanese character. It is 漢字.

Incorrect, they are the same (I am willing to issue you an apology if I am wrong and I am also willing to bet my house on this). I just don't like people borrowing stuff and passing it off as their own, that's all...

 

[wilde]

Wow, I never own a house? WTF?

Mind you, traditional character may have a heart in. Did the fat lady just sang? Oh and it is not "may" but always, BTW.

Also, FYI, it is a common knowledge of Japanese that characters were from China.
If I ever claimed characters are invented in Japan in any of my comments in any thread, let me know.
I bet my mother on it. You're the one insisting it was Japanese not me. And FYI you did make that claim, you wrote "and the character I presented was a Japanese character that ancient Japanese added the heart in." All the ancient Japanese did was lifted it from someone else.

I only know traditional characters not the short hand shit they use in China these days. That love character that you have so conveniently chosen to show that it is different than the "Japanese" character is called simplified Chinese which began in the 50s to promote literacy. 漢字implies traditional character.

 

[mimi]

I drew the line at being lied to, trust has such an important part in a relationship & when that trust is broken it's pretty hard if not impossible to get back.


@luvsdaty

Well, this post moved me....I know the feeling. My outsides keep going, but, the insides just die, or the bottom drops out, or something.

Everyone in the big wild world is trying to fuck with us somehow, so if you cannot trust that one person you are sharing your life with then is it worth the relationship?

When I do get into a relationship I am so mindful of my actions and how they affect my partner that it is a slap in the face when that person does something hurtful.

I will never forget the smell of cigarette smoke on my dressing gown.


Anyway, why do men love? I am just as interested in the answer as you are, Alix

 

[Dgodus]

<< 100% alpha, bro. Don't read too much into it, just because I can wax poetic & speak very open and honestly about it. Besides, it IS the truth. Us fellas don't "work on it" (re: relationships)... we decide from the get go without much other thought, whether we're in love... or in lust. How many times have you met a girl and thought "damn, I want to bang her from dusk to dawn" or, "wow... there's something... different... about this girl. Me likey!". You almost always know in your gut, immediately, where your true intentions lie.

If a guy has to "work on a relationship", or hell... attend couples counselling... for alot of guys it means he's not really into the relationship. He isn't in love & if he says he is, he's just lying to himself. He's just grown dependant on the relationship, or feels that there's some physical or financial benefit to working things out. If the gal is nuts, well, there's nothing a guy can do here... best cut your losses and drop her like the emotional and financial dead weight that she is/will become.

Also, we usually ARE more prone to effing up a relationship... wandering hands and missing brain syndrome (the very place that this conversation is happening speaks volumes, no?). Or, more commonly, we just don't pay attention to stuff that doesn't seem important to us, but apparently is of vital importance to our partner. How many times have you been in a relationship, had an arguement and thought "wtf just happened there? We argued about absolutely NOTHING."

Of course, woman can be equally (and often are) part of the problem in a failed relationship. Men and woman are notoriously bad at communication, when it comes to one another. Maybe true love is best defined as being in "sync", or "perfect communication".

Finally, I don't buy the 100% 50/50 line of thought when it comes to a relationship going south... sometimes, no matter what you do, it really is just the other person....and other times, it really is just you. We never see ourselves as acting crazy, right? To me, always assuming 50/50 means you are looking to put the blame at least partially on someone else, so you don't have to feel bad if you really messed up (or you're trying to make someone else feel better if they really messed up). It's a convenient emotional crutch that appeals to everyones sensibilities.

Not true

Being 100% alpha as you say you have one perspective. Myself being someone who had a bunch of other things he'd rather be doing than chasing sex or women I have a different. Relationships end for many different reasons and alot of them dont involve blame at all, for either party. Once people stop "being on their best behavior" (as Wilde explained) you can find out your personalities really dont match up well - in which case blame can only be placed for hanging on too long or trying to change too much of the other person. Not all of us are prone to wps (wandering penis syndrome) as like I said, myself and alot of other friends I knew had activities we enjoyed more than sex.

Not paying attention to stuff that's important to the other is a two way street. I learned this the hard way in high school when there wasn't alot of female athletes while I was growing up. Lose the city championship when we should have won and I'm seriously bummed out but told I need to come to dinner with her mother still because it was "only a stupid game". Not so different than when I always wanted to watch action/comedy flicks as opposed to more female orientated movies. This also applies to apparently all guys just want blow jobs and fucking all the time. Not so different when I'm always expected to massage her feet and listen to her rant about some bs gossip at work while she takes the remote from me and changes to Oprah or Dr. Phil. Lets not even talk about the three to five day shitstorm every month that we're just EXPECTED to put up with while she (not all, but some) doesn't try to keep herself in check at all (myself being prone to massive mood swings due to chemistry this excuse doesn't fly with me at all - as I've always been told to watch myself, and have successfully learned to do so).

I will definitly agree with you on counseling though. Unless you're in a situation in which you should stay together (kids, serious history, and the problems really aren't that bad) you should just let it go. Counseling should be preventative medicine so to speak, not something like a cast or cure. Something to help you keep in mind that a worthwhile relationship wont just take care of itself indefinitly and needs to be worked on by everyone involved.

Love and lust, yea they're different all right. I've never loved someone without getting to know them first though, it takes time. I tend to wonder about these "love at first sight" people, I find they drop out of love really quickly and never really had a strong bond in the first place.

 

[AA_Train]

rather than lust

as a woman that serves (you heard me) rather than receives the interests of the men she loves... I die to know. what makes men stay.. what makes men stray.. and when do they draw the line where they leave?

You can't decide to fall in love with someone it just happens. You can decide how you express the emotion. Love is not being able to imagine your life without that other person in it. Once you wish it to be so, that is the time to get out.

Shared activities (for me personally: sports, athleticism). No sense being with someone you cant share your life with, otherwise you're just screwing and then both of you have to make alot of compromises with what you do the rest of the time.

Personality of "it is what it is relax and enjoy dont overthink it"

Honesty in that if something's bothering her she wont say "it's fine" then stomp around expecting me to figure it out (give a little guidance I'm not you and cant figure out what's in your head all the time); but someone that'll wait till they've calmed down to discuss their issue instead of bringing it up when it's a hot button issue. (this is basically just an example to say "i'm not a mind reader")

A person that realizes what you are and accepts it without trying to change everything they dont like (some change is good, an overhaul is bad).

Doesn't keep a "scorecard"

Has a backbone and choices or her own (I'll lose all respect for someone who always defers to me to make choices - especially if they start to complain about them after the fact). Makes it a point to get what she wants not only from me, but from everything (without interfering with myself).

I stop caring for 2 main reasons.

1) Seeing above compromises; when she tries to control too much of the activities that I do without her, stops understanding why these things are important to me.

2) I like doing things for someone I care about. Some (maybe not on purpose) eventually start requesting these things, then start making veiled demands for them; all the while forgetting what they were doing for me.

Unfortunatly I draw the line and leave well after I should. I've played sports all my life and have a physical job, I don't remember a time when I didn't hurt or was sore somewhere so I can put up with things. Too bad for me alot of good memories are sullied as I didn't get out in time and "put up" with too much.

Just want to add I haven't always been the perfect match for some people, so I'm not faultless in all the relationships I've been in for failing.

I love it when people do all my writing for me This is the second post in a week where someone has pretty much said what I would of said.

In Japanese writing, a word for " love" (ai) is written in one character which has two parts in it.

受 means "to accept".

心 which you can find in 受 means "heart".

So, I tend to understand " to love someone" means " to accept who the person is"

So when I love someone, I don't think "I would love him more if he is this and does that."
If his feet stink, I would love the smell.
If he fucks around on me, I accept it, smile and give him a condom, waiting for him to come home to have meal with me.

When I am the center of the relationship, " I want that", "take me out", and "love me more", that's not love... At least in terms of general idea of love in Japan. We have a different word for the me-centered feeling for someone.
(FYI, it is 恋 (koi))

Both 愛 and 恋 are an excellent word/ concept. I tend to think every 愛 starts from 恋.
When the relationship shift from me-centered to you-centered, that's, I say, love.

Acceptance is a big thing for me. If someone loves you, they will except your quirks, your ,eccentricities the annoying habits and just say meh. often times it is those things that make people so endearing. Another great point you made is the unselfishness that exists in solid relationships, when your happiness becomes our happiness. I focus on your happiness, you focus on mine. I've never wanted to be in committed relationships because most women can't get over themselves. They would rather maintain their ego instead of making their partner happy. Monogamy is a very difficult thing for me. Ironically enough, the only woman I could ever be monogamous with wouldbe one who woulfd let me be with other women because I would know she was putting my happiness above her own. In that kind of relationship, i would only be with anotherwoman if she came along too. Sounds like a great relationship to me.

 

[Dickson]

Lust is what drives initial attraction and without it there'd be no romantic love. A man can fuck with the greatest desire in the world all based on lust, its hormonal, its selfish in its drive to satiate the temporary need and when it is reciprocated it can lead to some of the best sex you'll have.
But lust can have you fuck people you don't even like, have little respect for, would not even give the time of day to were they not offering themselves to us. It can make us do things and act in ways that might normally go against our concious moral code and in fact can easily be used to push the boundaries of others. If you don't care about the person really do you give a shit if they object when you take them to a place they wish they weren't and might regret? You might even pretend to like someone and spend social time with them just to satiate the lust.
Lust without respect will never turn to love.

Lust in any form will fade though, as its lustre goes with time. It can be built up again in chunks, the sex can become more experimental, boundaries may get dropped to keep it going, fantasy/play etc. but it'll never reach that high of the beginning again, it's like a drug in that way.
If lust never took hold of the transformation into love, then as it fades so will a mans desire to stay with you. He might still fuck you but his eye will be wandering away to pastures new where he can hit the high/the excitment once more.


So what turns lust to love? The billion dollar question, pondered by many and difficult to pin down.
IMHO it definately begins with trust and that is the element that bleeds right into every other aspect of a relationship.
Ask yourself, how many people do you really have in your life who you truly trust to be always at your side, fighting the battle with you? I bet the ones you choose would be family, maybe some very close long time friends and your lover.
If trust dies, so does the relationship. Maybe lust will be enough to keep them for a while and it can be rebuilt if you are lucky.

Secondly respect. Like I say, with an absence of this there can be no love only fucking. As mentioned by others in the thread this means being with someone that you share mutual values, hopes/dreams, likes/dislikes and an appreciation of how each other "goes about things". The start of a relationship can really set up the launchpad for this I think. Reigning in the lust at the beginning in order to ascertain if your likes and passions are compatible with one another is important. I think this is where the "3 or 4 date rule" has come in over time in our culture. If you just meet in a bar and end up fucking that night and it turns out you don't really like each other other than surface personality, welcome to a lust only relationship destined to end poorly from the start.

Thirdly, human bonding. It's just the nature of people that the more time you spend with each other you want to continue doing so. It becomes familiar, comfortable like a warm blanket. It's here that assuming the other things don't get fucked up that keeps you together. People generally don't like big upheavals of change in their surroundings or relationships.



So what fucks it up and why do people draw the line and move on? In the absence of a total breakdown of the fundamentals of desire, trust, respect and time spent together which would make things pretty obvious why, it would be balance of those fundamentals. If either side feels they are sacrificing too much to make the other truly happy (which can then cause the other side to get all weird and either try to hard or too little) then you're in trouble. Maybe this can be worked out or again lusted through until it gets better.


I don't believe in unconditional love, its one of those romantic terms that people throw about without really thinking about it. Everything in life is conditional.

...and if it was unrequited, well the line has to be drawn or how else can you ever be happy? A person can only feel so much pain over time before they come to realization.

BobbyDazzler, that is impressive!

 

[InnocentBoy]

Not being psycho usually makes men stay. Not ordering the most expensive thing on the menu to play little mental test games helps too. That and making the man feel appreciated.
Ever heard of how women hate that men view/treat them like a peice of meat. Well men dont like being treated like walking wallets.

rather than lust

as a woman that serves (you heard me) rather than receives the interests of the men she loves... I die to know. what makes men stay.. what makes men stray.. and when do they draw the line where they leave?

 

[InnocentBoy]

Tell that to the chinese you stole it from.

In Japanese writing, a word for " love" (ai) is written in one character which has two parts in it.

受 means "to accept".

心 which you can find in 受 means "heart".

So, I tend to understand " to love someone" means " to accept who the person is"

So when I love someone, I don't think "I would love him more if he is this and does that."
If his feet stink, I would love the smell.
If he fucks around on me, I accept it, smile and give him a condom, waiting for him to come home to have meal with me.

When I am the center of the relationship, " I want that", "take me out", and "love me more", that's not love... At least in terms of general idea of love in Japan. We have a different word for the me-centered feeling for someone.
(FYI, it is 恋 (koi))

Both 愛 and 恋 are an excellent word/ concept. I tend to think every 愛 starts from 恋.
When the relationship shift from me-centered to you-centered, that's, I say, love.

 

[mimi]

The Koreans solved this problem by creating, in 1443, their own incredible, and innovative alphabet, probably the most intelligent alphabet out there.

 

[wilde]

and now Taiwanese use it as a traditional characters, and in mainland China, Chinese use simplified which is slightly different from what I presented, but anyhow, it seems like I need permission from Taiwanese to use it and clearly mention it is from China?

Taiwan was part of China until the end of the civil war and traditional characters were used by all Chinese until the 1950s when mainland China introduce the simplified characters. You just don't get it do you? You don't need to mention it is from China and you don't need permission from Taiwan but when you present the traditional Chinese character for love as being Japanese writing, it is incorrect, plain and simple.

I spend my post secondary in the area of Chinese language and culture,

You've got to be kidding...

 

[myselftheother]

Tell that to the chinese you stole it from.

This isn't what this thread is about, which is about (I'm paraphrasing here)....what makes men who love stick around. Not Japan and China's animosity towards each other.

But, I do agree with your post about women not doing the mental secret test by ordering something expensive at dinner, or asking you if they look as good as that girl on the other side of the street, and then rip your skin off for looking at another female. WTF is up with that? Why do women create scenarios and situations where they trap us guys who have no idea that we're being manipulated into.

Ladies, wanna keep a man from walking out on you? This is a short guide, suggestions to take to heart.

1). Don't blame him, shriek, embarrass him in public or in front of either your or his friends.

2). Don't accuse him of cheating. He probably wasn't, but since you just told him you don;t trust him, he now mistrusts your sanity.

3). Don't freak out because he doesn't buy into your dramatic bullshit episodes that you're having with your friends, family or whatever. It's your drama, not his, deal with it.

4). Don't expect him to pay for everything. Pull out your wallet once in awhile and treat him. Pays huge dividends, goes a long way. We remember things like that.

5). Don't expect him to fight your battles, especially if you're causing them. Don't get really drunk and stupid when you're out and about, and he has to carry your drunk ass home. He already does that for his buddies on boy's night, doesn't need to do that with his lady. Tipsy is fun, slightly wobbly is great, but it's a huge turnoff if you're puking in the cab on the way home.

6). Treat him the way you wanna be. If you want to be treated as a princess, don't you want him to feel like the worthy prince? You are not better than him, but give us reasons that'll make us happy to kiss your feet...or ass. Suddenly we start bringing flowers, little gifts...and this happens when there is already monkey sex. Goes both ways, treating each other with respect and kindness. It's nice that way. Just be nice.

7). Please, please....don't try to change us. You liked us when we first met and decided to go out with us. We all have faults, stuff a little off centre....so do you. We like you the way you are. Unless...we're wearing stupid shit like socks with sandals, or tucking in our t-shirts into shorts.

8). Also....us guys will eventually fart. The burping may happen during the very early dating period, but please just realize that when we feel really safe and comfortable around you, trust you....then your man will experiment with a left cheek sneek...rather it will sneek out whether he wants it too or not. Most likely change in diet is the culprit, due to eating out more, or eating things that he normally doens't eat...veggies, grains, that falafel place you liked...either way, it's going to happen. Secretly, us guys are mortified, because we know girls don't like farts...and most guys think they are really funny. He might laugh nervously. Laugh with him. Then open a window.

It's the golden rule, really.

 

[myselftheother]

One more point. Ladies, girls, all you lovely women....

Men are not stupid. We are not dumb. We are way smarter than you think. We can see the silly shit you're planning. Stop treating men as children. We are not, you're not our mums. We have mum's. We want a girlfriend. We can't read your mind, we don't hear what it is in your head that you are thinking. When you turn around and rage at us that we don;t understand...well we don't until you tell us, and not when the shit has already hit the fan as then it's too late. Keep us informed.

If we ask, "what's wrong?", because we can clearly see that something is really fucked up...don't say "nothing" and keep giving the cold shoulder. Guys don't really pry, we take things at face value most times. This is drama. Evil drama.

 

[Ms. Yoko Anna]

This isn't what this thread is about, which is about (I'm paraphrasing here)....what makes men who love stick around. Not Japan and China's animosity towards each other.

You are right.
My apology to everyone who participate this thread and this forum for perpetuating unnecessary argument.
I always encourage people to stick with the topic, and look at me eh?
I'm sorry everyone.

Back to the topic....

Gentlemen, another really good way to start a long lasting relationship is frankly tell the girl, you will see other girls for physical need eventually. Right off the get-go, tell her that. And if she hesitate to develop the relationship, think twice about it. Tell her, you like her and your heart is for her, and you will always come home for her, but you won't be physically faithful to her. And if the girl is smart enough to understand the difference between love and lust, don't let her go.
Then, you can honestly tell her," hey honey, I just banged my receptionist, but hey don't worry, it was just a one night stand. " and in that case, she has absolute rights to have a munch on her gym trainer as long as she commit her heart for you, this works pretty well.

 

[myselftheother]

You are right.
My apology to everyone who participate this thread and this forum for perpetuating unnecessary argument.
I always encourage people to stick with the topic, and look at me eh?
I'm sorry everyone.

Back to the topic....

Gentlemen, another really good way to start a long lasting relationship is frankly tell the girl, you will see other girls for physical need eventually. Right off the get-go, tell her that. And if she hesitate to develop the relationship, think twice about it. Tell her, you like her and your heart is for her, and you will always come home for her, but you won't be physically faithful to her. And if the girl is smart enough to understand the difference between love and lust, don't let her go.
Then, you can honestly tell her," hey honey, I just banged my receptionist, but hey don't worry, it was just a one night stand. " and in that case, she has absolute rights to have a munch on her gym trainer as long as she commit her heart for you, this works pretty well.

Fine idea, Yoko...but most women don't understand lust isn't love. If I could find a woman for all the above, then I might consider throwing out the bachelor sign that's outside my door.