Why do guys do this?

[Cinnamon Girl]

On my last visit I was uncomfortably badgered about my personal life & unfortunately the next person who does this, will be asked to leave immediately.

Why do you want to know where I live? why I started in the biz? if I have a bf? kids? etc etc.... IMO the worst thing you guys can do is ask personal questions, it makes me defensive. Those who know me, know I am very honest & open, but I choose to share what i want to share, not what is hounded out of me....

this is from an Edmonton post:

What do the SP's have for great expectations of their clients in a session that goes a long way to making your job easier and more enjoyable?

Alexandria: Oh that's easy..

1. Tell me what you want, what you like and what I'm doing that you like. Be vocal. I can't read your mind, so work with me.

2. Please let me know ahead of time what your budget might be, what services you are interested in and how much time you have so that I can work around that and make you an offer that works for both of us.

3. Please take the shower that's offered. Even if you just left your house, you've still touched door handles, steering wheels, cash..etc. I can't tell you how many times guys said "Oh i just showered" then the sour ass smell rises up through the muck and mire and ruins it for me.

4. I'm anal about breath. Please use the mints or the mouthwash that's provided, otherwise...

5. Please don't call me a liar when I compliment you. I can't speak for others, but when I say "you have a beautiful ****" I mean it. I just find it rude for guys to say.."oh you probably say that to all the guys".

6. Please don't ask about my personal life. Over time, I might choose to share that with you if I feel safe and comfortable.

7. Please don't barter over 20 bucks.

8. Reviews are a conundrum. On one hand they are great for business, on the other they are embarrassing. Keep them very discreet, please. I'm all ok with the L/A/S ratings scale, but the actual services should for all practicality's sake be left out.

9. When you come to the studio to "meet and greet", please say hello, how's your day at least before blurting out "who else is working? before i even introduce myself.

10. Little tokens of appreciation are always nice. A chocolate dipped strawberry, or a bottle of nice massage oil..a good book that you enjoyed, a coffee, a sandwich..a flower.

11. And finally, if i'm not "your cup of tea" physically, please don't see me. I'd rather help you find a girl that suits you, so if you prefer a 21 year old spinner blonde, let me know and i can make a few suggestions. This prevents an unsatisfactory session for both of us. We do have insecurities too you know, and if we feel the guy isn't that into us, we are generally more reserved and don't give our all.

does that help?

 

[vancouverman]

looks like a great 11 commandments ....

 

[ace85]

On my last visit I was uncomfortably badgered about my personal life & unfortunately the next person who does this, will be asked to leave immediately.

Why do you want to know where I live? why I started in the biz? if I have a bf? etc etc.... IMO the worst thing you guys can do is ask personal questions, it makes me defensive. Those who know me, know I am very honest & open, but I choose to share what i want to share, not what is hounded out of me....

this is from an Edmonton post:

What do the SP's have for great expectations of their clients in a session that goes a long way to making your job easier and more enjoyable?

Alexandria: Oh that's easy..

1. Tell me what you want, what you like and what I'm doing that you like. Be vocal. I can't read your mind, so work with me.

2. Please let me know ahead of time what your budget might be, what services you are interested in and how much time you have so that I can work around that and make you an offer that works for both of us.

3. Please take the shower that's offered. Even if you just left your house, you've still touched door handles, steering wheels, cash..etc. I can't tell you how many times guys said "Oh i just showered" then the sour ass smell rises up through the muck and mire and ruins it for me.

4. I'm anal about breath. Please use the mints or the mouthwash that's provided, otherwise...

5. Please don't call me a liar when I compliment you. I can't speak for others, but when I say "you have a beautiful ****" I mean it. I just find it rude for guys to say.."oh you probably say that to all the guys".

6. Please don't ask about my personal life. Over time, I might choose to share that with you if I feel safe and comfortable.

7. Please don't barter over 20 bucks.

8. Reviews are a conundrum. On one hand they are great for business, on the other they are embarrassing. Keep them very discreet, please. I'm all ok with the L/A/S ratings scale, but the actual services should for all practicality's sake be left out.

9. When you come to the studio to "meet and greet", please say hello, how's your day at least before blurting out "who else is working? before i even introduce myself.

10. Little tokens of appreciation are always nice. A chocolate dipped strawberry, or a bottle of nice massage oil..a good book that you enjoyed, a coffee, a sandwich..a flower.

11. And finally, if i'm not "your cup of tea" physically, please don't see me. I'd rather help you find a girl that suits you, so if you prefer a 21 year old spinner blonde, let me know and i can make a few suggestions. This prevents an unsatisfactory session for both of us. We do have insecurities too you know, and if we feel the guy isn't that into us, we are generally more reserved and don't give our all.

does that help?

Guys go fishing for information, because deep down they are craving something that will let them into your real world.

It is my opinion that unless they are there for sex for sport (pure physical) they want soemthing else that a pretend encounter with an SP doesn't give them.

If they get "real" information for a girl, they feel like they are gettng real sex from the girl.

It relates to insecurities that is why you don't get it from every customer.

LOTS of CUSTOMERS try to BUY what they can't BUY.

Some accept what you are pretending to sell along with what you are really selling, but other are looking for more.

It is my opinion that if you don't want that you need to refund them (some or all of the donation) and send them on their way. Otherwise you are risking bad reviews for not meeting their needs.

It isn't good or right, just reality.

 

[WalterMitty]

IMO the worst thing you guys can do is ask personal questions, it makes me defensive.

I agree 100%, but this works both ways...

It seems everytime I go see a new girl (MPs, here in Edmonton) I am inevitably asked what I do for a living, if I am married, yada yada yada.

I am just as uncomfortable discussing my private life as the lady is discussing hers.

So similar advice to the ladies...don't ask. If I want to share it with you once we get better acquainted, I will.

Walter

 

[planetsmurf]

yah i like the idea of having it be just a one off situation. if its to personal then it feels like you have a girlfriend and thats not what i want from an sp

 

[Aeiyah]

From my experience, people love to talk about themselves which works fine with me because I prefer to be a listener. I avoid asking direct questions, but it's amazing how much personal information people will tell me, not only SP's, but people I meet in my daily life. Now that I've let the cat out of the bag, my regulars will probably stop talking to me now.

 

[Cinnamon Girl]

I agree 100%, but this works both ways...

It seems everytime I go see a new girl (MPs, here in Edmonton) I am inevitably asked what I do for a living, if I am married, yada yada yada.

I am just as uncomfortable discussing my private life as the lady is discussing hers.

So similar advice to the ladies...don't ask. If I want to share it with you once we get better acquainted, I will.

Walter

good point Walter, I make it a habit to not ask alot of questions either. Usually I am very warm & receptive but this was unusually odd, especially for an hour appointment, I couldn't keep him focused.

Ace thanks for the view. I have had numerous marriage proposals & many gentlemen are seeking relationships outside of the SP world, but IMO they are looking in the wrong place. We are good time girls, not looking to be taken home to your mother for Sunday dinner. And I'm not really sure if they are asking these questions for that reason......I know perb members who have been 'outted' to their families.

I don't want to be read wrong here, I am extremely honest & tell ppl if they ask, 'be prepared for the truth'. My attitude is commented on positively in every review. I have a right to be comfortable, its priceless.

 

[GetHappy]

I feel like I have to weigh in on this one, but I agree with Walter Mitty, some SPs are a little too curious for comfort (particularly when you are new, I didn't even want to give my real name at first). I've come to realize, though, that the best encounter starts with a good conversation (especially with a new girl), since it open you up and gets rid of your nerves (even if you've done this a hundred times there is always a bit of nervousness involved in the session).

What both sides need to realize is that both the client and the SP have people who they hope NEVER find out what they are doing. In my first experience with an SP, I booked a long session and she got a little too open, allowing me to figure out where she worked in her day job. She freaked, but I haven't told a soul, just like I hope she hasn't told a soul about me.

I'd like to be asked about myself, but realize that some SPs are a little too open about what they do, so if I'm not comfortable with talking about my private life with her (them), I'm purposely non-descriptive, I'll talk about my business but not about my company, that sort of thing. Same thing for the ladies, a tidbit from the past is nice, but I don't need to know all about you, not in the first few encounters anyway. I think Aeiyah's point of the "no direct questions" probably works pretty well.

Sadly, I may be unique in this opinion, but I do think that both sides need to open up a little.

 

[Cinnamon Girl]

agree mental stimulation makes for a good connection

I've come to realize, though, that the best encounter starts with a good conversation

What both sides need to realize is that both the client and the SP have people who they hope NEVER find out what they are doing. I think Aeiyah's point of the "no direct questions" probably works pretty well.

Sadly, I may be unique in this opinion, but I do think that both sides need to open up a little.

There is so much to talk about, I have to stop myself from talking LOL this past trip, it wasn't uncommon of me to go over time talking afterwards: food/restaurants/wine, music, sex, sports, travel, economy & jobs, politics, funny stories, we can always find a common thread that eases the atmosphere.
thanks for replying everyone, keep them coming..

 

[sdw]

On my last visit I was uncomfortably badgered about my personal life & unfortunately the next person who does this, will be asked to leave immediately.

Why do you want to know where I live? why I started in the biz? if I have a bf? kids? etc etc.... IMO the worst thing you guys can do is ask personal questions, it makes me defensive. Those who know me, know I am very honest & open, but I choose to share what i want to share, not what is hounded out of me....

It's because he's socially inept. He wants to be able to talk to you, but he has no conversation because nobody taught him how to talk about the weather, the colour of the walls, the shade of blue the sky is today, etc..

This is, of course, also the reason that he has to pay for sex. His idea of "conversation" is so uncomfortable for whomever he focuses his attention on that he has been accused of sexual harrassement 50 times this year.

The guys that don't have to pay for sex don't interrogate you because they know that they are with you to have uncomplicated sex.

It may same strange for a guy to pay for sex when he can get it free. However, sometimes a guy just wants to do it and not talk about how her gerbil seems to be depressed.

 

[GetHappy]

It's because he's socially inept. He wants to be able to talk to you, but he has no conversation because nobody taught him how to talk about the weather, the colour of the walls, the shade of blue the sky is today, etc..

This is, of course, also the reason that he has to pay for sex. His idea of "conversation" is so uncomfortable for whomever he focuses his attention on that he has been accused of sexual harrassement 50 times this year.

Some one seems a little bitter. I'm guessing you've had some bad experiences (or are just being the Devil's Advocate). Either way, you're right about a few people, though not many I hope. We've all been through times where we want to talk, but our lives don't seem that interesting, so we ask incesant questions about who we are with. It does come across as creepy and clingy soemtimes, but getting mad doesn't help either, it just makes them worse or depressed (which is probably a reflection on the person being asked the questions more than anything). It does take alot of skill to stop someone else from asking questions like this, but it's worth the effort (speaking from experience on this one).

And to the SPs, looks may be good, but it's attitude and conversation that will get me to return. Aural seduction is a great skill to master.

 

[hitrack]

If it helps when I'm with chicks and then leave, you can consider yourself lucky if I remember what your name was. Usually I don't even wanna know.

 

[Maury Beniowski]

Why? Control of course, and insecurity...

Obtaining any kind of information about someone, or anything for that matter, is the first step in gaining control. Many individuals see this first step as a game that goes beyond what their original motive for the encounter. It is a conspiracy that even the conspirator is unaware of playing. It happens even here on Perb. Ironically, the same players are the same ones who usually are very defensive about revealing anything about themselves...

 

[Travelingman]

SPs are not (just) selling orgasms. A guy can clean his own pipes with a little lube and a few minutes on the internet. No need to spend the hard earned cabbage.

What the SP is selling, and customer buying, is an artificial interpersonal experience that makes the customer feel good without making the SP feel bad. I have lots of friends and family at home but travelling can be very lonely, so I like talking to girls. A client wants to feel important or appreciated for few minutes in addition to getting his rocks off, and maybe the SP has to fake that with some conversation in addition to providing the friction.

Talking is part of the exchange, but not fishing for personal details. I think any topic considered polite conversation with a bartender or other stranger is fair game between a client and SP. Obviously you're not going to quiz the airport lounge bartender about his history of sexual abuse, how much money he makes, how much he drinks or whether his wife puts out. Since the client isn't trying to form a long term relationship, they shouldn't care whether what the girl tells them is the truth or not. Since the SP is in many ways an actress, maybe she should just invent full and fake details for her character; if that's something the client will pay for. Don't most already?

When a girl asks me about myself, I tell the truth, since I don't feel what we're doing is wrong and I don't need to be ashamed. I'm not afraid that a SP would go out of her way to cause trouble for me. It would make as much sense as being blackmailed by my barber, accountant or personal trainer (pay up or I'll tell everyone where you're fat!). So far, so good!
Come to think of it, I have more to fear from my accountant...

Am I being reasonable or no?

 

[ace85]

SPs are not (just) selling orgasms. A guy can clean his own pipes with a little lube and a few minutes on the internet. No need to spend the hard earned cabbage.

What the SP is selling, and customer buying, is an artificial interpersonal experience that makes the customer feel good without making the SP feel bad. I have lots of friends and family at home but travelling can be very lonely, so I like talking to girls. A client wants to feel important or appreciated for few minutes in addition to getting his rocks off, and maybe the SP has to fake that with some conversation in addition to providing the friction.

Talking is part of the exchange, but not fishing for personal details. I think any topic considered polite conversation with a bartender or other stranger is fair game between a client and SP. Obviously you're not going to quiz the airport lounge bartender about his history of sexual abuse, how much money he makes, how much he drinks or whether his wife puts out. Since the client isn't trying to form a long term relationship, they shouldn't care whether what the girl tells them is the truth or not. Since the SP is in many ways an actress, maybe she should just invent full and fake details for her character; if that's something the client will pay for. Don't most already?

When a girl asks me about myself, I tell the truth, since I don't feel what we're doing is wrong and I don't need to be ashamed. I'm not afraid that a SP would go out of her way to cause trouble for me. It would make as much sense as being blackmailed by my barber, accountant or personal trainer (pay up or I'll tell everyone where you're fat!). So far, so good!
Come to think of it, I have more to fear from my accountant...

Am I being reasonable or no?

I think you are wrong about what a lot of people are buying.

You seem to have your own perpective on this, but lots of pooners have the SP / POONER relationship becasue they aren't very capable of appealing to or attracting WOMEN of the caliber of the SPs that they see.

They buy the girls time, and becasue they are socially inept they don't really understand the pretend part of the whole experiene.

 

[rollerboy]

Gina,

Perhaps you should cultivate a pretend life, to tell them about. Something interesting, even a little fascinating, but nothing too grandiose or fantastic. I lived in Paris after leaving high school, worked in a small cafe. My brother joined the Merchant Marines, and he would come to visit from time to time. I fell in love with all the wrong sorts of men, and a woman. Steal something from a book. A shamelessly bad one.

This way, even the most socially inept, awkward or controlling guest can receive some kind of satisfaction without compromising your privacy. Clever actresses are sexy.

 

[Travelingman]

I lived in Paris after leaving high school, worked in a small cafe. My brother joined the Merchant Marines, and he would come to visit from time to time. I fell in love with all the wrong sorts of men, and a woman...

I like that! A good story would be fun, and doesn't put the SP at any greater risk from stalkers and weirdos.

 

[S.G. Gibson]

I think you have to play it by ear. Some girls are very private but others are quite happy to tell you all sorts of personal things. I don't ask personal questions the first time I see somone but once you see someone a few times you tend to get into that kind of stuff eventually. And it does go both ways, sp's ask personal questions.

 

[stryker]

I noticed that what I actually crave more is intimacy. Sex is part of it, but any guy who says it is not is lying big time.[/QUOTE]

Sorry to say bud,,,,,I have a list of what I call (fuck buddies) and these girls are just out to want to have a good time and get their rocks off ,nothing more,,,,,on the intimacy,yup,,they cuddle,flirt,help cook dinner while they tell me what they want to do later Things get very intimate,but the greatest part of all is,they don't smother me

 

[Cinnamon Girl]

anyone who knows me here

knows I am VERY open about my life, I have been an escort for awhile, never had a stalker/problems by being so & vowed I would never tell ppl what they want to hear or create a false persona, what you see is what you get...I can't say the exact comments that pushed my buttons, but both were fucked up, stupid questions that crossed the fine line.

But creating a new image would be shamelessly fun alright! LOL

Gina,

Perhaps you should cultivate a pretend life, to tell them about. Something interesting, even a little fascinating, but nothing too grandiose or fantastic. I lived in Paris after leaving high school, worked in a small cafe. My brother joined the Merchant Marines, and he would come to visit from time to time. I fell in love with all the wrong sorts of men, and a woman. Steal something from a book. A shamelessly bad one.

This way, even the most socially inept, awkward or controlling guest can receive some kind of satisfaction without compromising your privacy. Clever actresses are sexy.