A pathologically lying, alcoholic, maniacally needy, double D breasted, blue eyed black haired actress girlfriend I had in my early twenties changed me forever that fateful day she nailed me with the pleasure shock of my life by slipping her impossibly long tongue in my back pussy (haha c'mon it's a Borat reference) and it's been a losing battle since then trying to find someone to do that to me again. There's no going back. Chris Rock has a great commentary about this - how men cant go back sexually and the past girlfriend ruining it for the current one because she licked his ass.
I saw "Joanna" a couple years ago (Vancouver area mature blonde European massage provider) and she asked me if I wanted some rimming and I was so excited at this unexpected offering I might have even barked like a seal. I was face down and she locked herself on to my back in a 69 position and spent 10 minutes or so repeating long, soft, wet "St. Bernard licks" from my tailbone to my balls and back, with quick digit depth probes into the ol' balloon knot while dragging her long nails in circles in front and behind of her tongue and lips. It got to the point that I was sort of hallucinating as my eyes streamed tears of pleasure and disbelief as to what it felt like.
Her website is still up, but she's 'away indefinitely' as described from her voicemail message. Been a while now... I check regularly as I rock back and forth in the fetal position beside the phone.
Oh and of course, electric clippers with a #1 depth guard for the ass and balls. No need for a razor shave, and no problem with stubble. And be careful, those little teeth of the clippers can grab the skin of your scrote if you don't keep it pulled tight. Oh and dont leave the clippers laying around so your unsuspecting brother doesnt grab em give his beard a little trim. Akward.
