What's your story for seeing an SP or being in this hobby?

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Andrew69913

Haha you caught my deleted post

Wow. That's a long time. Now I'm the one who should sit my ass down... :ROFLMAO:
It's funny ya know, it never really bothered me because I was so self-deprecating, it never even occurred to me that someone might be interested in me. It definitely wasn't obvious to me anyway. I am on the spectrum slightly so physical cues are totally missed or misread by me. Now that I understand this and can explain it to people though, life has gotten much more interesting hehehehehehe...........hehehehehehehehe....MUUUAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....jk
 
A

Andrew69913

That's a very oversimplified question. To feel genuinely desired for sure, but I wouldn't say I'm pretending like this is not something I want but just wants maintenance sex from the very beginning. Wouldn't maintenance sex be a part of feeling genuinely desired? In fact I think it's probably basic human needs to feel genuinely desired.

Anyway not really sure what you're trying to get at? Pooning is definitely an unhealthy outlet for me. I agree people know when you're hiding shit, and at times right now I wish someone finds me out and get this over with.

You just answered your own question, I'm getting at the idea that pooning doesn't seem to be what you really need right now. You have some questions about sex and love and what they mean to you, and only you can decide that. Be confident that you deserve happiness and be patient enough with yourself to find it. I'm no professional but I've had my fair share of counselling over the years and I would recommend talking to someone. Just tell a doctor you need to talk and they will hook you up. It's just refreshing just to go and bounce all the idea's in your head off someone. Even if you don't agree with their input, at the very least it helps you consider and analyze your own thoughts. The main point is you feel comfortable HONESTLY expressing your thoughts, without fear of judgement. Good Luck!!
 

The Caffeinated Gent

Well-known member
Aug 3, 2020
696
813
93
It's the variety for me, mostly, but also the no commitment part. I am a young guy in my early 20's, and I am horny all the damn time but I don't want to just approach a girl again last time I did it I ended up dating my ex for a year lol during that year I learned a lot about myself in terms of what I am looking for in the dating world, and the answer is sex. Sex with a variety of women. And no commitment ever. I feel suffocating when I am in a relationship and I want to taste other women, with seeing a SP there is no moral obligation of staying loyal, you get to choose who you want to get intimate with, and I don't feel bad about it not like when I was in a relationship and fantasizing about other girls made me feel morally wrong. Pooning opens the door to a new world, where there is no commitment, no drama, just pure excitement and intimacy haha
 

Miss Hunter

ProSwitch
Supporting Member
Aug 30, 2013
1,812
1,392
113
Vancouver
Oh man! I wish I lived in VanC! I am quite the cunning linguist! ?
Don't worry about it. It wouldn't have mattered anyways. The poetry competition was rigged for Mr Anderson to win. My game, My rules. There's no obligation for me to be fair and offer equal opportunity to other male board members. ?
 

Drek

Active member
Aug 16, 2017
144
47
28
Don't worry about it. It wouldn't have mattered anyways. The poetry competition was rigged for Mr Anderson to win. My game, My rules. There's no obligation for me to be fair and offer equal opportunity to other male board members. ?
?
Broken-hearted, here I wallow
Bound to a woman who dare not swallow
Cast thy shadow upon my dreams
Of orgasmic moans, and groans, and screams!

For fairest maidens of whom I crave
And gently cup my manhood to shave
To share so sweet a moment between us
And rock her world with my cunnilingus!

?
 

EuroSZabina

Well-known member
May 6, 2008
820
309
63
Vancouver/Coquitlam
At this time, I feel like history is repeating itself and the sins of my father are upon me now :( sorry if this entry is a tad long but it's therapeutic in a way that some of you are reading/listening to me that very few know my whole story.

In a previous relationship, I'd say I was more sexually adventurous and my gf wasn't. Tried to sign us up in this swingers site hopefully she'd open up, but she ended up setting up this fake profile and contacted my profile only to set up some ambush. After some drama with a breakup, got back together but that only lasted for a year. During the brief breakup she went on dates and apparently hooked up with one of her "hot" male co-workers. Part of me I guess resented her for this while I was miserable but forgave her. At this point I had only been with this person sexually and was my first serious relationship. So she's had her variety and I didn't. I tried my best to be better; tried to be more patient, sensitive and attentive to her. It was her trip to her hometown that really got to me and due to time difference and what she had trip planned, we had a tough time keeping in touch regularly. She and I come from the same hometown and I haven't been back in a long time, so I was also flying there for vacation. I was video chatting with her before flying out that it hit me hard when she said, "I guess I just forgot about you," talking about why she and I weren't keeping in touch regularly while she was on her trip. Looking back I could have been more understanding and not placed expectations, but hearing that from a person whom you love forget about you really hurt. I reflected on this on the 12 hour flight and had resentment really buildup at that point.

After coming back to Vancouver, that's when I started Googling escorts in the area and stumbled upon Erslist (now leolist) and also this forum. Took a few months, but ended up seeing Yunjin - this was around early 2014; the incall was in a building near the corner of Robson and Seymour. Had a few other different sp after but then got found out by my gf by looking through my emails. Let's just say that's how that 4 year relationship ended.

I was single for a year after that and during that year, I was trying to get help with this sp problem, while still seeing them. Like I said, it was a problem. I would say I was mainly doing it because I felt lonely and helpless with my life situation at that time.

I signed up for a dating site in 2015 and luckily got matched to a woman who is now my wife. While dating her I was in my best behavior. I was very much in love and thought I have found the one. I basically didn't see an sp for 4.5 years. I thought I really had the proverbial monkey off my back, that I'm cured! Nope I was terribly mistaken. I fell off the wagon back about a year ago and booked Jess Lis Lee. I haven't seen her since, but she's definitely amazing.

The second year of my marriage has definitely not been great. The term honeymoon period ending is very apt in this situation. My wife has just been busy with many of her extra things she does on the side on top of her usual day job. In our first year of marriage when I started to see the pattern, I brought up my concern and feelings - like any grown mature person would do. But after that and many more heart to heart conversations, I see very little change and I have really grown resentful and helpless in this marriage. It just feels like what she and I had talked about in terms of dreams seem bleak with no planned direction in heading that way.

Someone has said in this thread that feeling lonely while being in a relationship is the worst and I agree. I guess the part that makes it worst is how you must rely on the other half to change or make an effort to change. They are doing or not doing something you don't like and that's what's making you feel terrible. I guess the neixt question is how long should one wait? ?
Regarding your wife situation, if she had many other things beside her day job before you guys met but later on started to bother you ( you want more quality time , I totally understand ) but asking somebody to change is very difficult.
Especially when they are over 30, to change somebody is nearly impossible. Oh, they will might change for a bit or for a while to please you but then they will go back to their own habit.
Thank you for your story :)
 

Total Slacker

Older Newbie
Jan 8, 2015
33
3
8
out looking for a rug
After being celibate by choice for a number of years while focusing on my career, I joined this site a while back to check the scene out and about two years ago took the plunge. Wasn't a good experience for me as there were hygiene issues and misrepresentations as to looks, shape, and age. Lesson learned and haven't attempted again.

Forgot about this place, it's been a long time.
 

PierreCoeur

??? MONKEY MEMBER
May 26, 2013
1,727
509
83
Surrey
After being celibate by choice for a number of years while focusing on my career, I joined this site a while back to check the scene out and about two years ago took the plunge. Wasn't a good experience for me as there were hygiene issues and misrepresentations as to looks, shape, and age. Lesson learned and haven't attempted again.

Forgot about this place, it's been a long time.
Okay I am the official Perb Sleuth. Let me decipher what you just said "Celibacy Career for a Number of years?"

Welcome to Perb Friar Fuck. Seeing as you are an old Newbie, you need to TOFTT. Can I suggest Robyn Hood. She has a quiver of feather tipped arrows and I understand she does a duo with Maid Marion.
 
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l00min

New member
Mar 12, 2015
10
14
3
I have been in this hobby for a while. Started way back in 2001 when I was in my early 20s. (Wow, just had a realization of how long I have been doing this on-and-off over the years). I had broken up with my GF at the time, and was working hard progressing my career. This left little time for traditional courtship, and there were not many other young women at work to could connect with. This seemed like a good way to "scratch the itch".

This hobby just got easier overtime as things moved onto the Internet with all the resources such as this site and others throughout the years. What I like about this hobby is:
  1. Meeting beautiful ladies from all walks of life. There are stereotypes of this industry, and I believe it is grossly misunderstood by civilians. Everyone has their own unique story to uncover.
  2. It has allowed me to explore the limits of my comfort in the bedroom. I have also learned to not judge other people's kinks and desires. You have try things once to know if it turns your crank.
  3. Pre-COVID, I traveled all over for work. It is a lifestyle that is hard on a "traditional" relationship. I found that I could have my regular in each city, and it was fun having a different local I could meetup with. No expectations beyond what we were both there for was great. I have even had a few ladies that I got to know well travel with me over the years.
So what's next? It is hard to say. I know that I need to keep my mind open to new experiences!

The current pandemic puts a huge damper on things. It just means we will have to make up for lost time when this is all over. Looking forward to that!
 

Miss Hunter

ProSwitch
Supporting Member
Aug 30, 2013
1,812
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113
Vancouver
Regarding your wife situation, if she had many other things beside her day job before you guys met but later on started to bother you ( you want more quality time , I totally understand ) but asking somebody to change is very difficult.
Especially when they are over 30, to change somebody is nearly impossible. Oh, they will might change for a bit or for a while to please you but then they will go back to their own habit.
Thank you for your story :)
On the topic of asking someone to change and I agree asking somebody to change is nearly impossible...

And although the person who is asked to change may initially agree to do so, once it's clear, in many cases, the grass really isn't greener on the other side, and they go back to their old habit, sometimes this attempt to change to appease another is, at it's core, a life life-changing profound experience that makes a person realize who they really are, where they come from, and where they are truly comfortable at drawing the real line between their negotiable and non-negotiable boundaries.
 
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KOM

Active member
Jun 22, 2020
132
136
43
This is a form of swinging for me. The problem with swinging is you need a hot partner who is open to doing it. Never found that.
 

vanblue

Active member
Apr 24, 2004
227
155
43
74
I am divorced and my whole story of seeing an SP is this. Where else can I spend time with a gorgeous sexy, beautiful woman, probably out of my league , for just money. I've met several women that have treated me like a lover even though I'm probably a lame pretender. It's a make believe world where dreams come true. I truly admire these women that give life to the fantasies of people like me. God bless them all!!!
 

Joy.Division

Active member
Jul 30, 2010
168
76
28
I started seeing SP's due to lack of confidence when I was younger. Started to workout and got physically attractive, worked in an industry that forced me to get better at communication which in tandem helped with my dating life. I've dated 4 woman all over 2 years in my life but single now. I feel now in my 30's I just wanna relax and have time for my self. I was always in back to back relationships and find my self quite happy currently being single.
 

masterpoonhunter

"Marriage should be a renewable contract"
Sep 15, 2019
2,307
3,634
113
On the topic of asking someone to change and I agree asking somebody to change is nearly impossible...

And although the person who is asked to change may initially agree to do so, once it's clear, in many cases, the grass really isn't greener on the other side, and they go back to their old habit, sometimes this attempt to change to appease another is, at it's core, a life life-changing profound experience that makes a person realize who they really are, where they come from, and where they are truly comfortable at drawing the real line between their negotiable and non-negotiable boundaries.
THAT is one profound, even if a run on, sentence.
 
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