Everything I have read in this thread is spot on and good to know the brotherhood here gets it.
Just adding in a few comments here.
I try to show from first contact and through the session I want this to be enjoyable and fun. And I ask for her permission on the things I'd like to have happen.
If I think I can take the lead on some things, get passionate, not gorilla sex mode, put let the lust out, I have found in almost every case it helps.
I let my SP partner know, verbally and physically, that I think she is hot and I appreciate it.
All good!