What pets write in their diaries

[Sasha Queen]

Excerpt from a Dog's Diary.......

8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favourite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!


Excerpt from a Cat's Diary...

Day 983 of my captivity....

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges.. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.

 

[J.O. Henson]

it's funny because this could actually be true.
Hilarious. Well done.

 

[badbadboy]

There are so many true statements in that OP's post. I have dogs and a very good friend of mine has a cat. We are constantly comparing notes and this has a lot of truth to it

Thanks for posting it!

 

[Surrey's Jewel]

Not my kitties ... mine (all 8 of them) are all rescues so they have a different outlook. They hear my car pulling up when I get home from work and all come out in my yard to welcome me home. When Bella (my St. Bernard) was alive, all the 6 kitties I had then would come for walks with us ... following along behind. Most of mine were near death from being hit by cars and or starvation that they are just so thankful to have a home. One guy I rescued from death row at the SPCA was 10 years old and had never been outside before, now he hunts and climbs trees, he's allowed on all the furniture and loves pets. I was convinced he was autistic before because he didn't know how to interact with people .... he is so AMAZINGLY happy in his new home he follows me everywhere I go in the house. He's now King Turd too, rules the roost.