My comments on a few alleged "mistakes" women make when having sex
I`m the first to admit: I can get a little obsessive when something interests me.
So here`re my annotations to the checklist of "50 mistakes women make when having sex."
http://whgbetc.com/50-mistakes.htm
I`ll only comment on an alleged "mistake" if I agree or disagree strongly—always with an eye to my experience with SPs. I`m inclined to cut civvies more slack. Even highly imperfect sex is usually good enough for me when it`s free.
A list of pointers can be a fine conversation starter. But when it comes to sex, I believe actually experimenting is better than talking too much about one`s preferred DOs & DON`TS. So I`d probably not discuss this list with a "prospect" until we`ve built solid sexual momentum.
Mistake 1: "Getting it hard is your [the woman`s] job." I don`t agree. With SPs where time is limited, it`s often more efficient if a man takes the job of making it hard into his own practiced hand. Especially older men—and those who`re a bit jaded—often need a higher degree of lusty buildup to get aroused, and an SP`s restrictions or a new partner`s idiosyncracies can be distracting.
For some men, achieving an erection is somewhat analogous to women achieving orgasm: they need to be relatively free from worries, annoyances and distractions.
Mistake 3: "Leaving him responsible for your orgasm." Totally true, IMO. If a woman doesn`t even know how to get herself off—or doesn`t let the man know about some special requirement—don`t blame me for joyously shooting my load and leaving her high and dry!
Mistake 4: "Expecting him to cuddle." With congenial SPs I usually cuddle and talk because post-coital sleep isn`t feasible. But with SO`s, yes, being allowed to pass out after sex is great.
Mistake 7: "Being selfish in bed." Well, I prefer women who make sure they get their share of pleasure. But no man likes a narcissistic bitch who bosses him around.
Mistake 9: "Whining when he pushes your head down on his dick..." I shouldn`t have to push her head down, but if necessary, I just give it a friendly nudge. A good sex partner should pick up a man`s clues in this respect and not delay too long before proceeding to a BJ. Nipple-nibbling is, for most men, a total time waster.
Mistake 10: "Not moving at all." Absolutely. No guy likes a dead fish in bed, except perhaps necrophiliacs.
Mistake 12: "Not shaving your legs." Not a biggie for me, though of course smooth legs are better. But since I usually give my SPs either stockings or pantyhose to wear, I haven`t experienced scratchy legs in ages. (The pantyhose also covers any midriff imperfections.)
Mistake 13: Not shaving or at least trimming your bush (I`m paraphrasing here). To be sure, some guys have a "hairy" fetish, but that`s probably a minority in the West. I appreciate a smooth-shaven clam whose lovely features aren`t hidden underneath a wiry tangle of hair—which also gets in the way during DATY.
Mistake 14: "Assuming that sex means a relationship." Ah, how true! Civvies my age, or close enough to want to hop into the hay with me, tend to equate sex with the start of something "meaningful" and get awfully clingy. Avoiding such clinginess—Shakespeare`s famous "fury" of "a woman scorned"—is probably why many men who could seduce civvies prefer to seek out SPs.
Mistake 17: "Leaving condoms up to him." Yes, sexually active women should be keenly contraception- and safety-conscious. But personally, I`ve a size problem with most condoms, so I always bring my own.
Mistake 18: Stop being a sissy "when he talks dirty." Couldn`t agree more: God, I love a dirty-talking lady who sounds like she means it. If you try to make me feel guilty about anything I say when I talk dirty, better kiss good-bye any hopes of me wanting to bang you ever again.
Mistake 19: Refusing to have "sex OUTSIDE of the bedroom". Most civvies are awfully fussy about settings and atmosphere. They want clean sheets and shower facilities nearby, a comfortable room temperature, and God knows what else. There`re probably evolutionary reasons for this, but it`s still frustrating when I want to be spontaneous and drag her into a stall in a restaurant men`s room or lean her against a tree in the park at night and pull down her skirt and panties.
SPs are generally even more restrictive: they don`t know and trust most of their clients enough to do anything "outside the bedroom", except for those who specialize in car dates (often druggies, it seems). So guys are mostly out of luck on this one.
Mistake 20: Refusing "quickies." Right on—big mistake if a woman wants to hold on to a guy. John Gray stressed this in
Mars and Venus in the Bedroom. He says women need to be available for quickies, and men need to become skilled at DATY, if there`s going to be lasting harmony between a couple.
Mistake 21: Being unclear about what your limits are—and then giving the man a hard time if he misunderstood and "poke you in the butt." I initially thought this point was encouraging women to provide backdoor access. But it`s really about expressing your restrictions with sufficient clarity so that even dumbass guys get the message. I agree: state your off-the-menu items (which are hopefully few) in a clear but friendly way. I`ll always respect them, though I`ll give you ample chance to reconsider and expand your horizons over time.
Mistake 23: Trying to have sex in the dark. We men need visuals during sex like we need air to breathe. I no longer frequent AMPs very often because I don`t like sex in the dark. Most AMPs turn down the light way too low, largely because they`re legally required to have doors with unobstructed windows.
Mistake 24: "Refusing to get on top." Or refusing any position request, for that matter. A dealbreaker for me, which means no tip and certainly no repeat. And doing a whopping ACG is important, in my book, for any SP or GF of mine.
Mistake 25: "Getting that bored look on your face." All too familiar in the context of play-for-pay. Never happened to me with Indy SPs or most Asian SPs I see, but I still remember some ladies at Western MPs who looked bored, went through the motions passively and mechanically, and seemed totally detached from the present moment. Affects my arousal like a cold shower. Any SP that can stand her job only by dissociating is in the wrong profession.
Mistake 29: "Refusing to let him take control." Some men prefer a woman to take control in bed. But most men, including myself, find it important to their arousal to make whatever moves their spur-of-the-moment desires dictate, and that means a sense of being in reasonable control. That doesn`t mean a woman`s initiatives, and certainly her enthusiastic participation, aren`t usually welcome too. But women don`t have an erection to maintain—big difference.
Mistake 37: "Taking things way too seriously." Totally agree, sex is for play—don`t saddle it with crazy-making expectations. Go with the flow, dare to experiment, and and above all, smile a lot and laugh off little accidents, awkwardness or clumsiness. But a lady should never be exposed to serious risk of injury (e.g. by having sex at the edge of a cliff).
Mistake 38: "Throwing shit-fit when he asks for a 3-some." Most GFs I`ve had would indeed have thrown a fit at the suggestion. So I`m happy I held out and didn`t marry any of these prudes.
Mistake 43: "Faking orgasms." We all know—SPs often fake orgasms to butter up a pooner`s ego. Some guys say they mind, but I`m fine one way or the other. But in a relationship, it`s self-defeating for a woman to make her guy think he`s doing everything right when he clearly isn`t.
Mistake 47: "Doing all-of-your-before-bed-things before sex." Had a GF once who was doing laundry and other stuff, so it was after midnight when we got around to sex. By that time, my interest had nose-dived. Didn`t last long in that relationship. And by all means, make yourself a little pretty before sex, put on sexy lingerie, don`t wash off all the makeup just because it`s bedtime.
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Giving it a rest now. For all it`s worth, I commented here on the "40 mistakes men make...": https://perb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?189266-Sexual-DOs-amp-DON-Ts-how-do-SPs-differ-from-civvies
Must say, I`ve done a lot of things in life that were less fun than thinking through these two lists.
