What is "appropriate language" for a private board message or email???

[HughGRection]

I am interested in what you Perbites and providers think about this situation.
I personally think the response I got was a little bit ridiculous, but sometimes I don't always see things in the proper light, so I'm curious what others might think.

Here's the scenario.

You are a service provider that advertises on this board. A potential client sends you a private message, asking you-in a very polite way-for a specific service. It's nothing freakishly depraved, nor is the private message sent to you worded in any way that is demeaning or crude or vulgar. On the contrary, it is polite and friendly and to the point.

Your message is ignored. No response at all.

So, you send the same message to them via email.

Again, no response. This is a little bit odd as you have seen this provider on the board since you private messaged her your query.

So you decide to call. And when you do, you talk to this provider who proceeds to tell you that your message and email were ignored because they were too explicit. Now the quizzical thing is that your email and private message contains nothing that was any more explicit than what is mentioned on the provider's website.

So, my question to the members of the board is: does this show a lack of professionalism on the providers part? Or maybe there is something I'm missing? I certainly don't go see a provider without knowing upfront what services are allowed, and for what price. Whether this conversation happens over the phone, or via email, it has been years since I have gone to a provider that won't give this kind of information prior to a session. And when they don't, you know that there's something wrong.

It really baffles me why this particular provider got all bent out of shape about me asking for BBB J and CIM when those services were mentioned either on the website she maintained or via her postings to this board or other people's postings. My questions were confirmations if you like, prior to a desired booking.

I'm curious what others think. I think it's completely unprofessional to just ignore someone, and it makes me happy that I saved my money with this particular provider.

Your thoughts?

 

[Pillowtalk]

Some sps are adamant about their rules. If they have said in an ad or on their site to look at their ads or site for all the information and to not contact them asking for specific services, then no confirmation questions are either required or wanted by her. To her, you have asked her 3 times 3 ways about a service she apparently provides anyway, which is usually a sign to sps that you have not read her ads or site to get her information, which is what she uses to screen new callers, and you failed the simple test lol.

It isn't about professionalism so much as it is about preferences. And of course there are still a few sps who really believe that they cannot discuss services directly, in the mistaken belief that that is illegal.

 

[vancity_cowboy]

she's a TWOT hg, pure and simple

don't waste any more time or energy on her

 

[badbadboy]

Isn't asking a question that is already documented on her website or confirmed in a thread on Perb redundant?

Some ladies just don't like going into any details while on the phone or via email because they don't like to have a menu of items to check off.

 

[HughGRection]

Some sps are adamant about their rules. If they have said in an ad or on their site to look at their ads or site for all the information and to not contact them asking for specific services, then no confirmation questions are either required or wanted by her. To her, you have asked her 3 times 3 ways about a service she apparently provides anyway, which is usually a sign to sps that you have not read her ads or site to get her information, which is what she uses to screen new callers, and you failed the simple test lol.

It isn't about professionalism so much as it is about preferences. And of course there are still a few sps who really believe that they cannot discuss services directly, in the mistaken belief that that is illegal.

I don't think in this case it is the latter. As this particular SP runs an operation with more than 1 girl (someone coming and going every so often), and reviews hinting at things that are stated as unavailable on the website, my query was to find out if the services I was looking for- not to mention the experience- was available with her and/or any of her "friends". If she's worried about "talking" about these kinds of things, then why mention them on the website??

I ALWAYS confirm services with a provider I don't know.

I'm not sure your argument holds water, as there was enough of a gray area in the website details that a query such as mine shouldn't have been a huge deal.

I think this is simplay an issue of "Prima Donna".

And this was someone who complained in the past about professionalism.

I think VanCity Cowboy hit the nail on the head.... unprofessional and a waste of time. If SP's can't appreciate that someone who is willing to spend $600-700 might have a couple of questions about the sevice he would like to receive for his money, then they really shouldn't be in the business. That kind of money is a lot of money to me, and I don't think it's unreasonable for the receiver of that cash to answer a few questions.

Could you imagine if you went to buy a car, and the dealer refused to answer any questions for you, or let you take a test drive. Nope, just buy it or don't buy it. Don't ask me specific questions.

I wouldn't ever buy a car from someone like that, and I wouldn't do business with an SP who finds it bothersome to answer polite questions about services.

 

[newton man]

A polite gentleman will simply move on as mentioned by Angela. On the other hand, some people do believe that the world owe them "attention" LOL

 

[sevenofnine]

Your mistake was pushing it.

She ignored you twice you should have took that as a hint.

 

[VanessaofBC]

your username sounds like it came out of a Beavis and Butthead episode and you are wondering why a girl might have decided against seeing you? lol

lol..i had to go read it again, i thought at first it said "huge rejection"...and then i started reading

but when i read your comment i see now it says "HughGRection"...ound:

 

[HughGRection]

your username sounds like it came out of a Beavis and Butthead episode and you are wondering why a girl might have decided against seeing you? lol

yes...that's why it happened.

 

[HughGRection]

maybe so. Like I said in my original query, I'm curious what others think.

I'm a polite person, and it always amazes me how people in a service industry can behave impolitely.

but no worries. I'll stick to SP's that are polite enough to answer a query like mine. There are lots of them out there.

Thanks for your opinions everyone.

:clap2:

 

[Tugela]

It really baffles me why this particular provider got all bent out of shape about me asking for BBB J and CIM when those services were mentioned either on the website she maintained or via her postings to this board or other people's postings. My questions were confirmations if you like, prior to a desired booking.

t
My guess is that the problem was discussing things such as specific acts or fees in an actual communication. When she posts on her web page it is an outline of what she does and doesn't do, that is not a personal communication however, and that is the issue for her. She does not want to leave any sort of paper or electronic trail that might be construed by someone as solicitation.

It may not be a big problem in Canada but it certainly would be in the US, and that could cause nervousness for her if she worked on occasion there. In the US the web page would be protected as free speech as long as it doesn't solicit, but the communication of the same subject matter would be a crime. A lot of the practices used in the US carry over to Canada even though they might not be that necessary here.

One more thing, keep in mind that the US could claim jurisdiction when communication goes to or from a US address, so a SP could find herself in trouble with the law down there even though she does business here.

 

[AA_Train]

One of the toughest part of the SP/Client dynamic is trying to make a business transaction not seem like a business transaction. It can make the experience for both sides seem more mechanical than it should. In this regard, I can see why SPs are reluctant to talk about their specific services. That being said, I think sometimes it is unavoidable. Eg if a lady offers greek as an extra, you have to mention that in your communications with them so they know what you want an so they can be ready to give it to you. i don't see how inquiring about other services should create any awkwardness, provided it was done in a respectful manner. I did not read the OPs email, so I don't know what specifically was said, so I couldn't say who was in the wrong in this particular situation.