What has been your most awkward moment while pooning?

[harrington]

I am sure this has been discussed before but I thought I'd create a new thread for us to share some of your most awkward/gross moments while pooning.

I've only had a few and probably not the worst ones - for obvious reasons, I am going to leave out the SP's name.

Situation 1
I was about to perform DATY on an SP and noticed that she had little white flakes in her pussy. I freaked out and asked her what it was and it turned out to be pieces of toilet paper - she just took a piss before seeing me.

Situation 2
After having sex with an SP, I pulled out and found blood all over my condom - period just came!

Situation 3
While showering with an SP, I noticed that she was taking a piss in the shower! No, did not request a golden shower

 

[yazoo]

While showering with an SP, I noticed that she was taking a piss in the shower! No, did not request a golden shower

Just stick your foot in the flow. She'll get the point!

 

[vancity_cowboy]

don't you know? piss kills the athlete's foot... ound:

 

[Temuchin]

Tell her you had a jellyfish sting...

OMG, that hilarious! ROFL :clap2:

 

[vancity_cowboy]

Tell her you had a jellyfish sting...

*grins knowingly* :nod:

 

[87112]

Was at a rub and tug MP and having seen the same lady many times took it further one night. Instead of the tug I wanted to dine on her and unzipped her pants and panties in a erotic force and started to lick and all I tasted was urine. Yuk! I mean she didnt pee lately but the stench was there. No fun there for me!

 

[tantalizeme]

One of those topics that never get old

Situation 1
I was about to perform DATY on an SP and noticed that she had little white flakes in her pussy. I freaked out and asked her what it was and it turned out to be pieces of toilet paper - she just took a piss before seeing me.

Situation 2
After having sex with an SP, I pulled out and found blood all over my condom - period just came!

Situation 3
While showering with an SP, I noticed that she was taking a piss in the shower! No, did not request a golden shower

Hey Harrington,

Interesting examples—but I honestly don't think any of your scenarios would really bother me.

One of my most awkward, embarrassing moments happened when the lady seemed to be building up to a climax during intense CG. I couldn't hold back and blew first, but without letting on. I let her continue riding because I wanted her to come too.

The jizz in the condom, my wilting erection and the lady's movements all combined to make the condom slip off inside her, without my noticing until after she dismounted.

Turned out, the condom was lodged about as deep as anatomically possible. To retrieve it, a lot of awkward angling proved necessary, first by my fingers and then by hers.

I apologized profusely. Felt like an incompetent idiot. Worried that she worried about catching something untoward and assured her I was healthy. Left a hefty tip.

Never forget the lesson this experience taught me: don't keep pumping after ejaculating. Just don't.

 

[Avery]

A long time ago, I was with an escort in my Toronto hotel room. Things were going great - I was pumping her in mish and was close to the point of no return. I had been feeling a little off, but not enough to cancel the encounter. All of a sudden, I had an awful feeling in my intestines, and I realized I was about to have an attack of diarrhea. It was either cum and shit, or stop immediately and run to the can. I chose the latter, and made it just in time to explode in the toilet. The lady was grossed out, and I couldn't blame her. I was terribly embarrassed, but what could I do? She got ready to leave and took off in a hurry. I made no attempt to stop her. Fortunately, that was a one time occurrence.

I never used that agency again, just in case.

 

[badbadboy]

Probably since this thread is going the low road, I will share too. ound:

Early in my pooning career I met an an attractive asian SP and we were having a great time together, both enjoying the moment and went for doggy for the finish.

I grabbed her ass cheeks while standing beside the bed and started pounding and then she let out a fart that nearly made me pass out. We just looked at each other and started to laugh our faces off. There was really nothing to be said, it was an erection killer and there was no recovering from it. We met again a couple of days later and had a rematch which was equally as satisfying yet no farting. :nod:

 

[*emmanuelle]

Okay, here's my awkward story:

Guy comes over with a Victoria's Secret bag, says he went shopping for me and bought me a present (yay!).

I open the bag and take out a little lace panty. It's super cute, but there's just one thing: I had been to Victoria's Secret just a week before, and had been given the exact same pair of panties as a free gift for spending over $50.

So basically this guy had been out buying lingerie for somebody else, got the free panties with his purchase, and gifted them to me. I'm not at all complaining about the panties (hey, I love presents!), it was just funny cause he tried to make it sound like he'd gone out of his way to buy them for me. It was awkward cause I had to be like wow, that's so generous of you! while I knew perfectly well that the cashier had a big bin of them behind the counter and tossed a pair in the bag with the other lingerie that he actually bought. lol.

My other awkward story:
Guy is doing digits on me (which I love, btw). He's feeling around and suddenly jabs me with his finger, saying "ooh, I found your G-spot!" I leap up and squeal in pain "OW THAT'S MY URETHRA!" Lol, painful and awkward!!

 

[storm rider]

I have had to do the "walk of shame" at a micro but it was OK as the guy waiting was a friend of mine.
I also once had to hide in a closet at the same micro and I had to play "human tetris" to fit inside it as
the next client was waiting to get in.As soon as they had said hello and started to walk to the bedroom
I opened the closet door just a tiny bit and sure enough I knew the guy.....my first impulse was to scare
the willies out of him with the cry of "CPS!!!! YOU ARE BUSTED!!!! but I decided to be mercifull.

SR

 

[phreak7521]

During a massage at an Asian micro, she decides it would be a good idea to walk on my back. Normally, that would not be a bad thing. Sounds like a part of a good massage, right? Wrong. Her foot slipping and squashing my balls while performing a scene from fucking Riverdance is what made me decide that Asian micros are no longer on the list. EVER!!

 

[yazoo]

My third punt ever was in Shenzhen, China. I was staying at a hotel, and had met a tout earlier. Now every mongering guide and website emphasizes never, ever, go anywhere with a tout, particularly in China. But, beginners luck, I trusted this guy and nothing bad came of it.

I was in my room brushing my teeth when the phone call came that he was downstairs in a taxi. I rushed downstairs and he took me to an apartment where I had a choice of three girls. I made my pick, paid mama, and the two of us went back to my hotelroom.

We opened the door and stepped into half an inch of water. I hadn't shut off the tap when brushing my teeth. Luckily it was a tile floor, and the shower had no lip, so we could push the water into the shower. So there was this crazy scene of newbie punter and working gal in street hooker garb, trying to clean up the flood.

Eventually I had no choice but to call room-service. We only had one towel each and the job was crying out for a mop. The housekeeper did a great job, while my SP chatted and laughed on the phone with her friends. She was speaking in Mando, which I have not a word, but the cleaner giggled with laughter at some of the things she said, so I presume she was describing her crazy session.

The good thing was that the SP was a good sport. She didn't speak a word of English, but we could communicate through signs and, thank god, google translate was working behind the Chinese firewall. I gave her an extra tip for being such a good housekeeper the next morning.

 

[InTheBum]

Was at a rub and tug MP and having seen the same lady many times took it further one night. Instead of the tug I wanted to dine on her and unzipped her pants and panties in a erotic force and started to lick and all I tasted was urine. Yuk! I mean she didnt pee lately but the stench was there. No fun there for me!

Honda, get married man...this SP game isn't for you!!!! LMFAO!!!!!ound:ound:ound:

 

[harrington]

Hey Harrington,

Interesting examples—but I honestly don't think any of your scenarios would really bother me.

One of my most awkward, embarrassing moments happened when the lady seemed to be building up to a climax during intense CG. I couldn't hold back and blew first, but without letting on. I let her continue riding because I wanted her to come too.

The jizz in the condom, my wilting erection and the lady's movements all combined to make the condom slip off inside her, without my noticing until after she dismounted.

Turned out, the condom was lodged about as deep as anatomically possible. To retrieve it, a lot of awkward angling proved necessary, first by my fingers and then by hers.

I apologized profusely. Felt like an incompetent idiot. Worried that she worried about catching something untoward and assured her I was healthy. Left a hefty tip.

Never forget the lesson this experience taught me: don't keep pumping after ejaculating. Just don't.

Hi tantalizeme,

While I read your post, I now recall a very similar incident that happened to me a few years ago! SP was riding me and she was pounding me really really hard. I think she was enjoying herself more than me at the time. I remembered that she was jumping up and down on me so fast and hard that I was actually in a bit of pain and I was actually scared that she might pull herself out for a moment and slam on my cock with her pelvis or ass and seriously injure my cock. I had never been pounded like that before. Fortunately, that did not happen. Anyway, after she was done and decided to pull out (I had not came yet because I was scared about getting hurt), the condom was off my cock!!

Because of her rapid thrusting, I really was not paying attention to the condom. Anyway, we figure the condom must have been dislodged and somewhere inside of her. I actually fished for it in her pussy - poking and prodding around and we never found it! I probably spent a good minute or two looking for it.

At the time, it didn't really feel that awkward at all because we were both laughing about it and the SP actually said she really enjoyed it while I was fingering her to find the condom. It was actually a fun moment and I am sure with most SPs (and perhaps clients), this could have been a more awkward moment.

I ended up putting on a new condom to finish the session.... that was definitely one of my more memorable moments in my pooning career.

 

[jesuschrist]

The most awkward moment - when she was taking it up the ass from me for quite a long time, then she says "OH NO NO" and pulls away from me and runs to the corner of the massage room, squats down and takes a dump. I heard and smelled it.

 

[InTheBum]

The most awkward moment - when she was taking it up the ass from me for quite a long time, then she says "OH NO NO" and pulls away from me and runs to the corner of the massage room, squats down and takes a dump. I heard and smelled it.

I hope that was the last time you did a woman in the ass... would make me puke!!!!!!!!ound::fear::fear:

 

[Br1974]

Lol - my most awkward experience was when I was on a business trip.

I'd been a couple days in the same city, and called an agency. They sent a girl over, and we were getting along fine. Ten minutes in, I get another knock on my door. I go and look, and it's a girl - I crack the door to ask what she wants, turns out she's the girl from the agency. Turns out that both I and the client I was doing business with had called the same agency - we were in the same hotel, same wing... Same company had booked both rooms, and I guess both rooms were under my company's name.

The second girl that came called the agency back & said it was just the wrong room number, and the agency texted over the right room number. (I didn't want to just send her over, in case it was a REAL mix-up, and it wasn't my client at all!)

While we were waiting, we sat and just kind of hung out - it was a bit awkward until we figured out what was really going on! The wierder part was, the second girl asked the first if they'd be able to share a cab back afterwards, since they would both be done at about the same time. She said sure, and I told the second girl just to come by my room when she was done, and the girls could go together.

I guess the client finishes fast - 40 minutes later there's a knock on my door, and it's her... Except, we weren't quite finished. But, rather than make her stand outside, I ran and let her in. Not a lot of privacy in a hotel room, but damned if I didn't want to finish! Having a second girl watching was kind of fun, actually - anyway, she giggled and applauded at the right points as I finished with girl #1. We talked for nearly 20 minutes after that while we waited for a cab.

Strange - yes. Awkward - yes. Terrible? No! And - on the plus side - the client was in a great mood the following day... It was hard not to comment!

By the way - this happened in Denver, CO. I can't remember the name of the agency now, but the girls were Kim and Shelley - and, while I can't comment on Shelley's skills, Kim was fantastic, and Shelley seemed to have a good attitude!

 

[westcoast555]

Care to elaborate?

Most awkward moment? pinched in a sting...

Was it a micro or a street bust?

 

[2Horny4MOG]

A couple of years ago I was pounding an SP doggie when she told me to put a finger up her ass. I was finger fucking her ass for several second when I felt something solid hit the end of my finger. Didn't think much of it at first, but then a few thrusts later realized it must be shit. Sure enough, I pulled the finger out of her ass and the end was covered with shit. I was grossed out a bit, but still managed to finish in her pussy, then hustled off to the bathroom for a wash up. I had seen this girl several times previously so we were able to laugh about it and move on.